Chapter One
'You'll have to be part of this crew and put your differences behind you.' Chakotay strong voice whispers in my ear. I feel myself toss and turn as if my skin is too tight on me. I find myself staring into Seska eyes.
'I'll kill you Karlotta' She says smiling.
My eyes snap open. I find myself staring at my ceiling. The same one for the past seven years.
"Computer what time is it?" I ask.
"Four thirty six." The ship answers back. I sigh and climb off my bed, time to start a new day. I try and figure out if I have enough rations for some orange juice. I sigh and just replicate myself a glass. I go to my bathroom and cross off another day off my calendar. I finish my juice and go into the sonic shower. I close my eyes in delight and let all the dirt and grime come off of me. When it's over I let out a wistful sigh as I remember days of hot hour long baths. I walk out and put on my uniform. My loaned uniform, as the star fleet personnel like to remind me. I don't bother to look in the mirror. I know what I'll see the same brown-red hair blue eyes and nose ridges. I shake my head and walk to sick bay. Not many people are up, but those are working hard. I can hear voice murmurs coming from the engine room. I take a pause and listen to the warp core. My second heartbeat, the same of everyone on the ship. I keep walking and stop in front of Sickbay hoping that Doc won't turn on when I walk in. I slowly step into Sickbay scanning the room. I get a few steps in and let out a sigh of relief.
"What is the Medical Emergence?" Doc says. I yelp and turn around.
"Damn it Doc!" I swear.
"Lotta? What are you doing up so early?" He come at me with a medical tricorder.
"I just wanted to get a head start on the inventory check." I try not to wince at my lie.
"Four hours early?" He asks his voice laced with sarcasm. I try to make myself nonchalant.
"I just had a little trouble sleeping. That's all." I say shrugging.
"That's the third time this week." He says. "Maybe you should go see if Neelix has any tea or something to help calm your nerves."
"My nerves don't need to be calmed. It's just that the seven year mark is coming. I always get a little restless that's all."
"Then a cup of tea won't hurt. After you have a cup you can come back." Doc says. I mutter curses as I walk to the door. The youngest of the crew and they still treat me like a baby. Do you think that a little lost sleep is some huge deal for me? I was a street fighter! I had both of my arms broken at the same time once. Not to mention I fought people three times my size. I look up and to my surprise I see Neelix banging pots and pans.
"Neelix? Everything alright?" I ask. My looks up his face cover only with the light from his stove.
"Lottie?" He asks. I turn on the lights and look at him.
"Yep." I say. I look at the mess of pots and pans. "Good lords. What were you doing in here killing a Cardassian vole?"
"Cardassian vole?" He asks.
"Never mind. Is everything alright?" I ask.
"I couldn't find my stirring spoon." He says still looking through the pots and pans. He stops and looks up at me. "Why are you up so early?"
"I just couldn't sleep that's all. I thought maybe you had some tea." I lie.
"You couldn't sleep?" He says, not buying my answer. "You once threatened that you were going kill Tuvok because he woke you up."
"He told you that?" I ask. That was before my Voyager days.
"No Chakotay did. He thought it was funny." He looks at me funny. "Is everything okay Lottie?" I look at Neelix trusting him.
"Promise you won't tell anyone?" He nods. "You know how we can write letters to people back home? When everyone was writing and I wasn't and I said it was because I didn't have anyone to write to?" He nods again he starts to realize what I'm talking about. "Well it isn't true. I have someone to write. But were not close I mean we only met once."
"Who is it Lottie?" Neelix asks concerned.
"My father." Neelix is shocked. "That's not really the point I met him the first time when I was sixteen. After nine years of being alone. A week after I joined the Maquis and we never spoke again." I pause. "When I learned that he thought I died, it broke something in me. I mean he has no family but me. I realized how cruel it was of me not to say something to him. But I can't make myself do it." Neelix slides me a cup of tea. "I mean I lived on the streets for nine years. I was a streetfighter you know. The Half Breed Wonder." My knuckles whiten as I hold the cup. "He meets me once and all of a sudden he wants to be a family."
"You didn't like the idea?"
"It scared the hell out of me. Why do you think I joined the Maquis? But I'm not the same sixteen year old girl. I'm twenty four and had lived through a hell of a lot. I should write but I'm not sure I can."
Well if you ask me, I think you should write him, even if you're not looking for a relationship with him. You are his flesh and blood, on some level he cares for you." I look down and realize that I have finished my tea. "Besides I doubt he's scarier than the great Karlotta." He has no idea.
"You're right." I yawn and rub my eyes. I give a small kiss on his forehead. "Thanks." I start to walk out of the room.
"Where are you going?" He calls out.
"Back to bed! It's way too early." I say half smiling.
So what'd you think? Tell me if you liked it in the comments.