A/N: I'm back from a very long, not planned hiatus. This is my newest story, and it's a two-parter. The first part is in Edwards POV and the second part will be in Bella's POV.
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SUMMARY: A one-shot based on "Love the Way You Lie" by Eminem feat. Rihanna. Bella/Edward w/ themes and suggestions of domestic abuse on both parties accounts on both sides. Basically; the inner ramblings of both Edward and Bella in their AU relationship. Here you have the first part, in Edwards POV. Follows along w/ the song pretty much, minus the choruses.
Edward POV
I don't know why I do it, what the reason is. I can tell you that in that moment it makes me feel in control of everything. Of her emotions, of my emotions, our combined actions. It's give and take, back and forth. I yell at her, she yells at me. I smack her, she shoves me back. I get so lost in it that I can't breathe anymore. But, as surely as she knows if she stopped fighting I would kill her; I know she would do the same thing. So I keep going, keep fighting until she passes out from exhaustion. My head hurts, throat burns, but it doesn't matter. All that matters is that I don't lose this fight against her.
The dizzying mix of love and hate makes me feel high, like I've been doing coke, huffing paint or something. It's exhilarating in the moment I first feel that intense mixture; but then, it's almost too much. All of the emotion is pouring over me and I can't get to the surface. I'm drowning in the consuming feelings, and right when I think she's going to let me succumb to it; she touches my cheek, smiles and brings me back again. Her words, they torment me, make me mad all over again.
"Goodbye Edward," Bella whispers to me, smiling sadly.
"What the fuck, where are you going?" I ask, getting pissed off at her. It's only then I notice her bag by the front door, her car keys in hand.
She laughs sadistically, knowing how much this is going to make me mad at her, make me want to hurt her. Sometimes I think she gets off on the anger and the pain, "I'm leaving. I'm done. I can't anymore. This isn't healthy for either of us."
"Like hell you're leaving me bitch. No one leaves me." Just like that, we're back to square one. I grab a fist full of her hair and yank her back to me with one hand, squeezing her face hard in the other
The crazy thing is that we're not always like this. When we don't fight, we're good. Amazingly good. All of our friends ask what our secret is, because we always seem sohappy whenever anyone else is around. When I get promoted at work, she smiles at me and I feel like Superman, like I can do anything. And then, something will happen. She'll hang out with a guy from work, or say hi to someone on the street that she doesn't know to be nice, and all I see is red. I get jealous, yell at her when we get home about what happened.
The first time it happened, the very firsttime I ever hit her, I felt like crying after. I was just so frustrated. She didn't understand how bad it made melook when she flirted with my colleagues from the hospital at a party. We got home, I drug her up the stairs, bruising her delicate arm. I tossed her on the bed and smacked her so hard, she had a bruise and split lip for almost two weeks after. Right after it happened, I promised myself it would never happen again, that I would never hurt her again.
A/N: This is part one. Part two is in the works. Don't worry, I'm in the process of updating Torturing Me and Bed of Lies right now.