Title: Break-up
Pairing: Harry Potter X Draco Malfoy
Rating: R
Genre: drama, hurt/comfort, romance
Warnings: coarse language, mentions of m/m sexual situations, attempted suicide, mild violence
Disclaimer: I don't own anything
Headmaster Dumbledore glanced around in his office. "We'll be going to St. Brutus' for incurably homosexual boys."
Hermione frowned. "What is Harry doing there?"
"I believe his relatives enrolled him into that institute when they found out that Harry is attracted to the same sex," Dumbledore explained gently.
Draco snorted and folded his arms. "When are we going?"
"When the portkey is ready."
Tonks shifted from one foot to another. "Say, cousin …"
"What?" Draco gritted out.
"No need to get hostile, cousin," Nymphadora smiled and wrapped an arm around the sour looking Draco. "You'll get to see your boyfriend again after six weeks. Isn't that great?"
"Yes, just awesome," Draco drawled. "When is that portkey ready, old man?"
"Draco," Hermione scolded, sending him a look. "Just be patient."
Draco rolled his eyes and took a deep breath. He had gotten word from Dumbledore, requesting his presence at the school in the middle of summer break. They had just finished their 'eighth year', graduated and were officially free from school.
"Portkey is ready," an Order member announced.
"Finally," Draco grumbled.
Weasley sent him an annoyed look and moved to touch the portkey. When they were all touching the Muggle object, Dumbledore counted from three to one and they were swept away.
"According to my sources, Harry should be in room one-hundred and three," Dumbledore said once they arrived at the Muggle institute.
Draco reached for the handle and pulled it down, opening the door cautiously. It reminded him strongly of a room at St. Mungos; white walls that pained your eyes, no decorations and a few beds in it. When he looked to his left he saw Harry in bed, fast asleep. But that wasn't what worried him. It was the dark-haired man lying next to him that had him clenching his fists.
He reached for the thin sheet that covered their bodies and pulled it back. Swallowing thickly, he looked at the naked forms of both men. The older man's arms were wrapped around Harry, one leg thrown over Harry's. Closing his eyes, Draco drew the sheet back.
"Draco, is Harry―"
"Yup, Potter is here," Draco managed to say as casual as possible. "Apparently he didn't miss me much."
Hermione gasped, moving to stand by Draco's side. "Draco …"
"Don't say anything," Draco warned. Hermione wrapped her arms around him, smiling sadly when she felt his arms around her.
"I'm so sorry," she said.
Draco looked down at her, trying not to show the pain he felt inside. He'd gotten closer to Hermione, but was still reluctant to open up to her. Hell, it had taken Harry more than a year to open up his shell.
"Oh, shit," someone said. One of the boys in the room had woken up and was staring from Harry to the livid Draco.
"Damn, he's gorgeous," another boy whispered, looking Draco up and down with wide eyes.
Draco grabbed a chair after letting go of Hermione, put it in front of the bed and took a book, starting to read. Hermione left Draco alone, backing out of the room in shock. The blonde kept a neutral expression on his face but inside he was seething with anger. He felt his magic surge through him, wanting to get out. Draco clenched his jaw and resumed reading, while looking at the naked form of his boyfriend.
"You must be the boyfriend?" a boy asked, sitting up in the bed he slept in.
"Was," Draco replied absentmindedly. "Apparently Potter has found someone else." He flipped a page and resumed reading. "Who's the bloke?"
"Mike," the boy said.
Draco nodded. "Common name," he snorted. "I bet he must've had the time of his life. Apparently I wasn't good enough for his Majesty anymore."
The boy bit his lip. "Harry talked about you, told us how strongly he felt about you."
"I bet he did," Draco snorted, looking up from the book. "That's why he's had sex with someone else."
Finally the older boy―Mike―stirred. Next to him, Harry started moving as well, turning in Mike's arms. "Hmm … Draco …"
Draco looked up, watching Harry snuggle into the arms of the Mike bloke. He wanted to punch something so badly.
Suddenly, Harry's eyes snapped open. His jaw dropped at the sight of a naked Mike lying next to him and he backed away. "No …" he whispered in shock, tears forming in his eyes. "Oh, God, no. Please tell me we didn't …"
The look on Mike's face was enough to confirm Harry's thoughts. His thoughts snapped back to the previous night. Mike kissing him, telling him he was attracted to him. Mike pushing him gently on the bed. Harry started crying when he remembered how he had spread his legs for the older man, moaning like some common whore when Mike entered him.
Draco cleared his throat loudly. "Well, good afternoon to you too."
Harry froze up and turned around slowly. He let out a choked sob at the sight of Draco sitting in a chair next to him. "Draco …"
"What a nice reunion, isn't it?" Draco spat. "You've been in this place for what, two weeks and you've already fucked someone else?" Then he seemed to re-think that sentence. "Well, I'd imagine that he fucked you." He didn't care that there were other people in the room, nor about the fact that Potter's friends and the old coot were standing outside and could obviously hear them.
"Draco, I―"
"Save it," Draco snapped and got up from the chair, throwing the book aside. "Six weeks, Potter. Six fucking weeks, and you've slept with someone else," he shook his head. "How loyal."
Draco turned to the door and paused. "And another thing; we're over."
"No, Draco," Harry choked out. "Please."
Draco sent him a cold look and left the room, closing the door softly. Outside of the room, he let out a deep sigh, closing his eyes briefly. "I'll be outside."
Harry crawled under the covers and started crying silently. He felt Mike's hand on his shoulders, pulling back the covers and pulled the raven-haired man close to him. "How could I do this to him?" he sobbed.
"Shh," Mike soothed.
"I cheated on him!"
"You told me you had a boyfriend and I didn't listen," Mike said. "He should be mad at me, not you."
"I let you inside me, Mike!" Harry snapped. "I cheated on him in the worst way possible and he was here, he saw us …" He started sobbing harder.
Suddenly the door opened, revealing Hermione and Ron. "Get ready, Harry. We're leaving in a few minutes." Hermione stared at Harry, who was still crying and wrapped in Mike's arms. Harry could see the disappointment in her eyes. He lowered his eyes, feeling ashamed of himself.
"Where's Draco?"
"He went outside," Ron said. "Probably for a breather. Mate, you fucked up badly."
Harry shut his eyes and wiped his tears away. "I know," he whispered.
"Get dressed, ok? We'll talk about this when we get back," Hermione said, her voice as cold as ice.
*
Draco let out a deep sigh, staring up to the clouded November sky. He couldn't get the image of Harry and Mike out of his mind. It was like it was burned into his eyes to taunt him. He reached for his pocket and pulled out a pack of Muggle cigarettes. Lighting one, he inhaled deeply, blowing the smoke out slowly. He had envisioned his reunion with Potter to be different than this. He'd imagined making love to the man for an entire night, to make up for those lonely six weeks of not seeing each other. He found his lover in someone else's arms instead.
Had he pushed him away too much? He knew he hadn't been exactly nice to Potter when they were separating briefly until Harry could move into Grimmould Place and away from those Muggles. In fact, he had acted downright cold to the man. Draco knew that Potter knew that it was a defense mechanism of sorts that he used (though he would never admit to that).
Maybe he had driven Potter too far away, right into the arms of another man. Maybe that was what Potter needed; a man who wore his heart on his sleeve like Potter did. A man who wasn't afraid to show what he felt. A man who didn't have so much emotional baggage. Someone like Mike.
Feeling sick to his stomach, Draco marched back inside, cigarette in his mouth and tapped Dumbledore's back. "I'll be Apparating home. I don't believe Potter needs me," he added bitterly.
Dumbledore nodded, sadness showing in his blue eyes. "Go home, my boy."
Draco nodded and stared at the door briefly, imagining Potter in the arms of Mike. Shuddering, he drew his wand.
"I'll floo you, ok?" Hermione said, hugging the blonde quickly. She kissed him on the cheek, worry evident in her eyes.
"Don't worry, I'm not going to do anything stupid," Draco snorted, taking a drag from his cigarette.
Even Weasley looked at him with sympathy and gently patted his back. "You don't deserve this, mate."
Draco frowned and shrugged. "Fate can be a bitch sometimes."
Nymphadora hugged him as well, almost tripping over Dumbledore's foot, but she remained standing. "Don't do anything illegal, cousin."
"I won't," Draco murmured and Apparated away.
The day went on slowly for Draco. He had taken a bath when he'd gotten home, smoking a cigarette as he did. He thought the entire situation over. Granted, they had been together for over a year and a half, but Potter never made any indication that he was unhappy or that he wasn't interested in Draco anymore.
What had changed?
Draco frowned. Maybe Potter was through with Draco's attitude. The man had told Draco often enough not to be so damn cold to him, but did Draco listen? He sighed, taking a drag from the cigarette. He took the plug out of the bath and watched the water drain away, leaving his body naked and cold.
When he had dressed himself and went into the living room, Hermione was waiting patiently on the couch. Draco sat down opposite her and had a house-elf bring some drinks.
"How have you been?"
"These past eight hours?" Draco asked. "Just peachy."
Hermione smiled gently at him and took the offered glass of Firewhiskey. "I can't believe he cheated on you."
"Yes, it came as right surprise from the Savior," Draco snorted, lighting up a cigarette. "I've been thinking about it. Maybe he needs someone who's more compatible. Someone who can attend to his needs better. What do you think?"
"You don't think that it's because of you, right?" Hermione asked, with her eyebrows raised.
"Well, of course I do," Draco replied nonchalantly. "Why else would he cheat on me? It makes me wonder … What if he'd been cheating on me behind my back all this time? I mean, he disappeared often enough."
Hermione sighed. "You know that's not true. If he'd been cheating on you all this time, then you would've noticed something."
"You're right, I would," Draco nodded. "A Muggle," he added with a laugh. "I hope for him that he was good."
Hermione rolled her eyes. "Why can't you just admit that you're hurt by this?"
"Do I really need to admit that?" Draco looked at her. The pain was evident in his eyes. "I just don't understand it. We had been apart for six weeks, he gets admitted to that ridiculous place and I find him in bed, naked with some Muggle by the common name of Mike."
"When you left, Harry came out of the room asking where you were," Hermione said. "He looked downright miserable."
"Good," the blonde aristocrat said.
"We tried talking to him, but he couldn't stop crying. I think he truly feels awful about what he's done."
"Even better," Draco drawled. "If he regretted it so much, he should've thought with his brain instead of his dick before Mike fucked him. I thought we had a stable relationship, but obviously I misunderstood."
"Draco," Hermione sighed. "Harry told us that you ended it. You're not giving him a second chance?"
Draco stared at her, silently wondering if she was out of her mind. "No, I'm not giving him a second chance. One of the first things he told me when he went after me was that loyalty was big on his list. Where's his fucking loyalty now?"
Hermione bit her lip and looked down.
"You know I'm right, Granger," Draco said. "I can't give him another chance, not when he's had sex with someone else. How do I know he won't cheat on me again? A relationship is about trust with your significant other, and he went too far."
*
Harry lay in bed, sighing loudly to himself. Ron had stayed with him to make sure he didn't do anything stupid, while Hermione had flooed over to Draco's place.
When he thought about Mike entering him, tears filled his puffy eyes again. "I'm sorry, Draco," he sobbed.
Ron sighed, rubbing Harry's shoulder gently. "Mate, you need to get out of bed. You've been cooped up in this room for a week now."
Harry hiccupped, wiping his tears away with the sleeve of his shirt. "I don't want to get out of bed. Why am I so stupid, Ron?"
Ron sighed again. "I don't know. Why did you sleep with that Muggle? Wasn't Malfoy enough anymore?"
Harry let out a sob. "I don't know why I slept with Mike. When I arrived there, the guys had welcomed me, we made fun of the institute and I don't know. Mike told me he was attracted to me, and I have to admit that I found him attractive as well."
"And one thing led to another," Ron sighed. "Didn't you think about Draco at all? How he would react if he found out? Merlin, he walked in on you two lying in bed naked! Hermione's been at his house almost every day and she comes home with a sad expression on her face."
Harry bit his lip as fresh tears coursed down his cheeks. "It was so stupid of me. I regret it more than anything, please believe me Ron. I truly regret it. I know Draco won't forgive me for this."
"You're right, he won't," Ron said, watching his friend with pity.
"Can you please leave me alone for a while, Ron? Go home to Hermione," Harry said softly, lying back against his pillow. When he had gotten home from St. Brutus', he had jumped into the shower at Grimmould Place, thoroughly scrubbing his body as if wanting to wash Mike's touch away. He had rubbed his entrance so hard that it started to bleed. He had started to sob again when he realized that Mike hadn't used a condom, meaning that the man had come inside him. The only man he had been with was Draco, and he always let Draco come inside him. Now he just felt dirtier because he had allowed Mike to do the same.
Harry hid under the covers, feeling more ashamed than anything. He was lacking sleep, food and apparently loyalty as well. He hadn't seen Hermione either and he wasn't sure if he wanted to. She had looked at him with so much disappointment that Harry just wanted to dig a hole and crawl into it. The look on Draco's face made him break down each time.
Eventually he managed to fall asleep, his head buried under the covers. He dreamt about his night with Mike again. Mike was entering him gently, while Harry threw his head back letting out a loud moan. Then all of a sudden Draco walked into the room, eyes full of betrayal, hurt and anger.
Harry shot up in bed, panting harshly. He cried again, sobbing his heart out. "Draco!" he sobbed. "I'm so sorry! Please … forgive me," he cried.
*
Draco sighed. It had been two months since Harry's betrayal and the break up. Hermione visited him every day, forcing food down his throat and getting him out of the house. He knew that Weasley was with Harry, but he didn't want to hear about him. Draco was determined to forget about Harry, even though he couldn't erase what he had seen. How Harry lay against the Muggle, wrapped in strong arms.
Draco never cuddled with Harry, not even after they'd had sex. Harry would lie close to him with one arm wrapped around his chest, but Draco never put his arms around Harry.
The fireplace burst into green flames just as Draco lit a cigarette. He sighed when Ron Weasley stepped out.
"Malfoy," he nodded.
"Weasley," Draco nodded back. "What are you doing here?"
Ron swallowed. He had been the last to accept Harry's relationship with the blonde Slytherin. He'd eventually gotten over the grudge and looked at the blonde in a new light when he realized how happy Harry was.
"Harry isn't doing so well."
Draco's eyes widened slightly, staring at the red-head, before he scowled and took a long drag. "So?"
"So? Malfoy, he won't come out of his room. He rarely sleeps or eats. He looks like a fucking corpse," Ron snapped.
"He's not my responsibility anymore. Try contacting that Mike fellow," Draco said, casually sipping from his Firewhiskey.
"Damn it, Malfoy! He keeps asking for you! He wonders where Hermione is, but she doesn't want to see him. He wakes up crying and sobbing for you to forgive him! He's a downright wreck."
"It's what he deserves for what he did," Draco said stubbornly, though fear went through his body.
"Malfoy," Ron sighed, taking a deep breath. "I get that you're hurt, I understand that. I try to get Harry to eat, to get him to put on clean clothes, to get him to shower … He's neglecting himself. He's lost a lot of weight, and he can barely stand on his own without falling."
"I'm not falling for this shit," Draco snapped. "Potter cheated on me! He fucked someone else, Weasley! Do you know how that feels? Do you know how I felt when I walked into that room and found my lover naked next to another bloke?" he said, voice dropping considerably. "Do you know how much it hurt seeing him like that? So excuse me for not being very sympathetic right now."
Ron sighed and nodded. "I'll tell him." He flooed back to Grimmould Place, leaving Draco to stare after him.
"He looks like a fucking corpse."
"He wakes up crying and sobbing for you to forgive him!"
Draco sighed, staring out of the window. He hadn't been feeling all too well either, but apparently he was coping better than his ex-lover did. He shuddered. It sounded strange to think of Harry as an ex-boyfriend.
*
Ron approached Harry slowly, swallowing thickly. "Harry?"
"Draco?" Harry said blearily.
"No, it's me mate, Ron. You need to get out of bed and eat something, you look about ready to drop," he said, eyes going wide.
Harry stared at the ceiling, not feeling very aware of his surroundings. "Did you speak with him?" His lips felt as dry as paper and his throat wasn't doing well either. He had refused to drink for two days now. If he refused longer, he would die. He had been thinking about death lately. He wasn't suicidal or anything, but he couldn't forgive himself for what he had done. And it seemed that Draco couldn't forgive him either. He would rather die than live with the knowledge he had hurt Draco like that.
"Yeah, I spoke with him," Ron said, starting to pull on the sleeves of his shirt nervously. "He said I should try contacting Mike."
Harry's eyes filled with tears, making it impossible to see the ceiling anymore.
"He doesn't want to hear it," Ron sighed. "I'm sorry."
He didn't make any sounds, but the tears were rolling down, soaking into the pillow. He doesn't want to hear it, Harry thought, starting to tremble. Doesn't he care about me anymore?
Thinking about Mike made him cry harder. Soon, Ron was sitting on the bed, holding the unhealthy thin form of his best friend against his chest. "You have to get a hold of yourself, Harry. You can't let yourself waste away like this."
After Harry had attempted to eat a slice of bread and drunk a glass of water, Ron had reluctantly left Harry alone. The raven-haired man wobbled over to the bathroom, taking a look at himself for the first time in over three weeks. He frowned at himself, not recognizing his face. He had dark circles around his eyes and his eyes were red and puffy and they looked sunken in. He looked like a real wreck.
Harry made himself take a quick shower before he dropped into bed again, after having stared at a razor for five minutes. If he would commit suicide, he wouldn't use a razor. Too messy, he thought.
He wondered if the Avada Kedavra curse worked if he cast it on himself. But then he realized that he didn't even know where his wand was. He sighed deeply, craving for the blonde's touch and knowing he would probably never experience it again.
That thought alone made his eyes tear up again. He wanted Draco so much that it hurt. And I betrayed him, Harry thought miserably. Suddenly he let out a surprised squeak at the sight of Hermione standing in the doorway, though with a grim expression on her face.
"Hermione …"
"Harry," she said, eyes widening when she saw his condition.
"Where were you?" Harry asked in a small voice, sniffling pitifully.
"I was with Draco, and I didn't think I should see you," Hermione said, pulling over a chair and put it next to the bed.
Harry nodded slowly in understanding, head lowering in shame. "How is he doing?"
"Smoking like a chimney, but doing better than you, which is to be expected I think if you truly cared about him." She folded her arms, staring at him.
"You don't know how much I regret it, Hermione," Harry said, tears coursing down his cheeks again. "I miss him so much."
"Who, Draco or Mike?"
The coldness in her voice made him sob all over again. "Draco! How can you think that I―If I didn't care about Draco, would I look like this then?"
Hermione seemed to take pity on her friend and softened her expression. "He won't give you a second chance. You know that right?"
Harry nodded miserably. "I guess I deserve that. After betraying him like that … I love him Hermione, I love him so much."
"Did you tell him that?"
"Once," Harry nodded. "He didn't say it back, but he doesn't need to. I figured that if he loved me too he'd tell me when he would be ready."
Hermione nodded. "Why, Harry? Why did you sleep with that guy?"
"I guess it sort of happened in the heat of the moment," Harry mumbled, staring at the sheets in front of him. "He would always stare at me longer, hang around me more and then he said he was attracted to me. I told him I had a boyfriend whom I felt very strongly for," he went on. "And then one night I stopped resisting and let him take me. I was so stupid! I should've pushed him away, should've thought about Draco and now I've lost the man I love most."
Hermione sat down next to him and wrapped her arms around the sobbing man. "It was stupid of you, Harry. Though Draco might never forgive you, you're not doing anyone a favor by neglecting yourself. When was the last time you ate a normal meal?"
"A month ago? Maybe more? I don't know," Harry mumbled, shrugging slightly. "I don't even know what today's date is."
Hermione sighed. "I didn't visit you because I was angry with you. I saw the look on Draco's face when he saw you two together and I could practically hear his heart breaking, Harry. Although he didn't say it or show it, he was downright devastated."
Harry sobbed harder into Hermione's chest. "I'm such a fool," he cried.
"Yes you are," a voice said.
Hermione turned towards the door, revealing Draco smoking a cigarette. She sighed, and let go of Harry, who curled up on his side, pulling the covers over his head. He couldn't face Draco, not after what he'd done to him.
"Go home, Granger," Draco said, staring at Harry's covered form. Hermione nodded and left the two men alone. He approached the bed slowly, feeling his heart clench when he heard Harry cry. Hardening his expression, he yanked the sheet back and looked at the pathetic form of his once lover. The man looked even worse than how Weasley described him, and that alone had made Draco fear for Harry's health.
Harry was incredibly underweight, his eyes were red and puffy as if he'd been crying every day (which he probably had, Draco realized) and there were dark circles surrounding his eyes. His arms and wrists had gotten extremely thin and his hair was a wild mess like always. The green sparkling eyes he once possessed were filled with self-loathing and hurt.
"Draco …" Harry sobbed, reaching out to the blonde. He cried harder when Draco dodged his hand, stepping aside with a cold expression on his face. "I'm so sorry, Draco," he sobbed, pulling his knees up to his chest. He wrapped his arms around them and started to rock forward. "I'm sorry, please forgive me, Draco. Forgive me, please."
Draco heart almost shattered right then. Instead, he folded his arms over his chest, taking a casual drag from the cigarette. "You hurt me."
"I know," Harry cried, burying his face in his knees.
"I won't forgive you for what you did," Draco said, jaw clenching as he saw Harry nod, as if he'd expected that.
Harry looked up. "I know," he whispered brokenly.
"And I don't think there's a future for us together."
"What?" Harry's breath hitched.
Draco looked past the hurt he saw in those green eyes and glared at the man. "I don't trust you anymore, Potter. We had only been apart for six weeks. I'm beginning to wonder if what you felt for me was actually true."
"How can you say that?" Harry gaped, wiping his tears away angrily. "I love you, damn it!"
"Then why did you sleep with the Muggle, Harry?" Draco asked, unable to hide the hurt anymore.
The use of his first name caused Harry to fall apart again. Draco had only called him by his first name once or twice, and he could clearly see the hurt in those alluring grey eyes. "It just happened," he whispered.
"Something like that doesn't just happen!" Draco snapped. "Wasn't I good enough for you anymore? Is that it? Didn't I satisfy your needs well enough? What made you sleep with him?" he demanded.
Harry lowered his eyes, sniffing miserably. "He made me feel wanted, loved," he mumbled quietly. "Told me he desired me, that I was attractive."
The answer made Draco feel as if he'd been dumped in ice cold water. He stared at Harry for a few minutes before letting out a strangled chuckle. "So I didn't satisfy your needs well enough. Didn't make you feel like I wanted you."
"You never told me what you felt for me," Harry said softly. "At times I felt quite insecure, wondering if you even wanted me."
"Don't turn yourself into a victim now, Potter," Draco scowled.
"I'm not," Harry said, looking into Draco's eyes. "I'm telling you how I feel. I know nothing I say will make things better but …" He shrugged slightly.
"I already told Granger that maybe what you needed was someone more compatible," Draco said, taking a drag from his nearly forgotten cigarette. "And maybe that someone is Mike, I don't know. But I do know that I'm not the man for you, Potter. I can't offer you what you want. You know I'm rubbish at emotions and relationships."
"Please, don't say that Draco," Harry choked out. "I didn't fall in love with you because you don't express your emotions towards others, but I fell in love with you for you. For the person you are."
"Apparently that wasn't enough," Draco said. "You will get over it and find someone else."
"No, Draco, please," Harry cried, grabbing the blonde's hand. "Please don't!"
"Potter, can't you see that this is getting us nowhere? And what do we have in common besides Quidditch? Look at Weasley and Granger. Those two are perfect for each other," he said. "We are not." Draco yanked his hand back, wanting to turn around at the sight of Potter's face.
"How can you say that we have nothing in common? Draco, I love you. I love you so much that kills me that I've hurt you like this."
"Don't say that you love me after you've cheated on me," Draco hissed.
Harry nodded, feeling the shame wash over him. He felt his body starting to tremble and his hands started shaking. Suddenly he felt incredibly dizzy. He reached up for his head, eyes closing slightly. "I'm so sorry," he whispered brokenly before he collapsed, falling out of the bed.
*
Draco sighed as he made himself some tea in Potter's kitchen. The raven-haired man had collapsed and Draco had just put him back into bed. The sight of his lover looking so fragile and weak had Draco worried, even though he put up a Malfoy façade.
Apparently Granger hadn't gone home like he instructed. Instead, she and her boyfriend were sitting on the sofa in the living room. Draco joined the duo and dropped onto the sofa opposite from them. "He collapsed."
"What?" Hermione shot up from her position on the couch.
"I told him that I don't think there's a future for us, that he should find someone else. He didn't take that too well," he said dryly.
"I'd imagine he wouldn't," Hermione said. "It's really over between you two? There's absolutely nothing that can fix this?"
Draco shook his head slowly. "How can I trust him again? What if we'd be apart for three months and he sleeps his way through a horde of men and I find out about it? I don't think I could handle that again."
Ron bit his lip. "But … If he didn't feel anything for you anymore, then it would've been different, well, not for you, but he still loves you."
"Does he really? Does he love me that little to decide to sleep with some random guy he barely knows?" Draco countered.
Suddenly they heard a loud crash. Draco frowned and then shot up the stairs and into Harry's bedroom. The man wasn't in his bed. Draco looked around, finding the bathroom door slightly ajar. Slamming the door open, Draco wasn't prepared for what he saw. Harry lay on the floor, wrists slit. The mirror was shattered in pieces and Draco noticed the bloody hand.
"Fuck, Potter!" Draco shouted and quickly drew his wand. Hermione and Ron joined him in no time, gasping in shock as they saw him.
Draco quickly muttered a spell to stop the blood flow and cast a healing charm. Harry had lost a lot of blood, it lay pooled to his sides and the man was looking very pale. "Fuck you," Draco snarled. "Granger, go to the Manor and retrieve five Blood Replenishing potions."
Hermione nodded and went to the nearest fireplace and flooed to Malfoy Manor.
He started shaking him, trying to get him to wake up. When he failed, he lifted the man up from the floor. He carried him to his bedroom and gently put him in bed. He cast a diagnostic spell on the man and concluded that he needed about the amount of Blood Replenishing potions as he had ordered Granger to get.
"Damn, you Potter, you selfish prick," Draco growled, clenching his fists.
Ron returned from the bathroom. "I cleaned up the blood. He did it with a Muggle razor."
Draco sighed, his heart constricting at the lifeless form of Harry. Within minutes, Hermione arrived with the potions. "He's unconscious," he told her.
"He needs to be awake for me to give them," Hermione said worried. "If he stays unconscious, he could die with the amount of blood he's lost."
"Fuck," Draco whispered and started shaking Harry. "Wake up!" When he got no reaction, he slapped Harry's cheeks, trying to get the man to respond. He cast Renervate on the man, sighing with relief when he woke up.
Hermione immediately went over to him and forced the first potion down his throat, massaging it to make Harry swallow. Harry started struggling and eventually Hermione put a full body bind spell on him to make him lie still.
After all five potions were poured down Harry's throat, Hermione lift the body bind spell and sat back. Harry coughed a little, but at least he was alive.
"Why did you do it?" Draco screamed, grabbing Harry by the collar of his pajama top. "You selfish fucking asshole!" He started punching the other man, feeling nothing but rage.
"Draco! Calm down!" Hermione shrieked, trying to pull Draco off of Harry.
It cost both Ron and Hermione to get Draco off of Harry. Draco was panting slightly, watching the blood dribble down Harry's mouth.
Harry stared wordlessly at the ceiling, not even reacting when Draco started to beat the shit out of him. He felt blood trickling down his chin but didn't react.
"Can you please leave me alone with him for a while?" Draco demanded.
"Are you sure?" Hermione asked.
"Yes. Leave."
Hermione flinched at the cold tone, but moved out of the room, Ron following in tow.
Draco approached Harry slowly. "Look at me," he ordered. He clenched his jaw when Harry stared at him with a dead look in his eyes. "Why did you do it?"
"Because I wanted to," Harry said. "I want to stop hurting those I love. They either get hurt or get killed, Draco. Look how I've hurt you," he croaked out.
Draco sighed, moved to sit on the bed and pulled the man against his chest. "Never do that to me again. Do you hear me?" he snarled. Draco pulled back and stared into Harry's eyes, seeing nothing but sadness, and self-loathing. He cupped Harry's cheek, stroking it gently. "Never do that to me again," he whispered this time. To his embarrassment, his eyes started to fill with tears.
Harry must've noticed, because he let out a sob and buried his face in Draco's chest. "I'm so sorry, Draco. God, I'm sorry! I love you so much. I'm so sorry," he sobbed, clinging onto the blonde like a lifeline.
"I know, baby," Draco sighed, kissing Harry's temple.
Draco ended up lying in bed with Harry in his arms. Harry was still crying, though not as much as he did before. Draco was stroking the man's hair gently, holding him tightly.
"I regret it so much, Draco," Harry said. "Please, you have to believe me. I love you so much."
Draco looked down at those pleading eyes and pressed a kiss to Harry's dry lips. "First, we're going to clean you up and get you something to eat and then we're going to have a long talk."
Harry nodded and let himself be helped into the bathroom. He noticed that the razor was missing. He figured Ron must've taken it away. Draco helped him undress, though to Harry's embarrassment, he started to feel aroused. There was nothing sexual about Draco undressing him, but Harry had missed the blonde's touch.
Draco ignored Harry's half hard cock and helped him into the shower. He knew how often he'd been with Harry in the shower (usually to have sex) but this time, Draco would take care of the man. He undressed himself and got under the shower, taking a bottle of soap to wash Harry's hair.
Harry sighed at the warm feel of the water. He moaned when he felt Draco's hands in his hair, massaging his scalp lightly. He leaned into the blonde, steadying himself to keep standing. When Draco washed his body, he couldn't help the small groan when Draco brushed against his swelling cock.
Draco again ignored the rapidly filling cock of his ex-lover. He bit his lip to keep himself from getting aroused from the sight, but managed. After he'd dried Harry and got him into a clean set of pajamas, he took the raven-haired man downstairs to the kitchen. He had Kreacher the house-elf make Harry some lunch, and sat the man down, watching him eat.
Harry tried to force the delicious food down his throat, moaning pitifully when he couldn't swallow the bite he had taken. He had barely eaten two slices of bread.
"That's alright," Draco said. "You should take it easy, since your stomach has accustomed to little food," he sighed. "Now," Draco cleared his throat, "know that I haven't forgiven you, Potter. It will take some time for me to trust you again. I think it's better for the two of us if we didn't see each other for a little while."
Harry looked up at Draco, mouth having slightly opened.
"I need time to deal with it and you need time to get your health back. We both need time to heal and your friends will help us through that. I will contact you when I feel ready to see you. Until that time, I don't want you to contact me."
Harry nodded silently, staring down at the floor. At least Draco was giving him another chance and this time, he would not screw it up.