3/29/10
Musings of a Specter
He wasn't a monster. That much he knew. If anyone was a monster, it was that Ewell bastard. He had no regrets, and he'd do it again, kill that man fifty—no, a hundred, a thousand times over, before he ever let harm come to his children.
They were the epitome of innocence, these two little children and their warm weather friend. Sometimes he wished he could still be that innocent too. Yes, he'd made some bad choices in life, hung around with the wrong crowd, and he'd have to pay for those mistakes for the rest of his life. He'd come to terms with that long ago, and it'd been a very long time since Boo felt anything. Just as his hair and skin and eyes had all turned sensitive and fair due to lack of light, his heart was becoming ghost like as well. It wasn't like that at first, confined to the house; he'd been angry, sorry, relieved, and scared all at once and over and over again. As the days passed, hysteria would set in, and Boo would cry it all out as quietly as he could. He never screamed, because the noise was too much a part of the living world for him to take part in. He wanted to forget his own existence and fade away into nothing. Everyone shunned him and his parents no longer thought of him as a son, but more as a creature to be cared for and nothing more. That was alright with him, he didn't want to talk to anyone anyway, and he barely even ate, making him seem ever more wraith like with his thinning frame.
Then he began to notice the children, playing outside, always so merry and care free. It warmed his heart to see them together, and while he watched them, Boo was content. It was nice to feel happiness again, and he liked to think of himself as their guardian, watching over his two little ones. Boo swore to himself that so long as he drew breath, he'd protect them, and care for them if they should ever need it.
The night of the fire. His two children standing at the front porch, no doubt freezing from the cold. The boy looked alright, but the girl looked so frail and fragile, shivering in the fires glow and the chill of a winter's night. Some stray flakes were caught in her hair and Boo felt that he simply had to do something, even if it meant venturing outside. So he grabbed the nearest blanket and with the grace of a person accustomed to silence, he soundlessly approached them and wrapped it around her shoulders. They didn't notice him, but the girl stopped shivering after a moment. A gentle smile tugged at his lips and he went back inside, careful to make no noise as he shut the door.
Halloween, and his children were heading home from the school play. His girl looked adorable in her ham costume and the boy was helping to guide her along in the darkness. It made Boo nervous to see them outside all alone at such a dark hour, so he stood by the window to watch them. It all happened so fast, Boo didn't even have time to think. All he knew was that his children needed him to protect them and that was what he was going to do, even at the price of his own life. He didn't remember grabbing the kitchen knife, or leaving the house, all he knew was that this man, (as it was indeed a man), was trying to kill his children, and by god he was going to kill him first. With that thought in mind, without hesitation, he jammed the blade between the ribs of the attacker, driving it straight into his heart. He had no regrets, his children were safe, and that's all that mattered.