Disclaimer: Trust me - I own nothing CSI related, and I highly doubt I would be writing insomnia induced drivvel if I did...

Well first of all: sorrysorrysorrysorrysorry! I apologise to everybody for the title, the OOCness, the mass slash & femmeslash and the scary image near the end...so basically the entire fic.

This started off as a Hodges/Greg serious fic brought on by spending about 7 hours reading Hodges/Greg fics on the site...But went a bit weird from it being written at 6:30am. - Though only just got up enough courage to post it,

Pairings are: hodgesXgreg, nickyXbobby, jacquiXcatherine and...GrissomXwarrick...Don't ask - would have been Sophia and Sara too...but I ran out of will power.

Again I'm reeeeeeeeally sorry...Especially for the title - But I couldn't think of anything else. Anyway, read and review if you dare...Maybe it's not as bad as I think - it's not really graphic as such...Just very very wrong...

The Day The Lab Turned Gay

Greg groaned and pulled the covers over his heard as the harsh ringing of the phone by his bed burst into his head. He shivered as coldness suddenly hit his feet from where the covers were pulled up and groped clumsily for the phone.

"Greg Sanders." He mumbled sleepily, not wanting to poke his head out from under the covers.

"It's Grissom, I know it's your night off, and that you've just pulled a double, but we need someone to cover DNA." Greg groaned again, this had to be a joke; he was a CSI now, not a lab tech.

"What about Neil?" He yawned, finally pulling his head out from under the duvet… Damn – He'd only been asleep an hour.
"He's off sick and the Day's tech is on holiday, lab's struggling and behind enough as it is."

Greg sighed heavily. He knew Grissom wouldn't ask unless it was an emergency.

"Thanks Greg." Greg put the phone back and staggered out of bed, he looked round his normalish clothes he wore more often now he was a CSI, most seemed to be either screwed up in the washing basket or lying crumpled on the floor.

Greg sighed again and pulled a pair of jeans and a Killswitch Engage t shirt from ha drawer – He was only working in the lab.

He thought about styling his hair as it was all mussed up, but then back when a lab tech he supposed some people found messyness and expertly styled messyness difficult to tell apart.

And with that thought he pulled on his clothes and laced up a pair of Converse before grabbing his car keys and leaving his apartment…

"Well surprise, surprise, looks like the lab rat is back." Greg rolled his eyes at David Hodges and made for his supply of coffee – It would be the only thing keeping him going by the end of shift.

"Haven't you got evidence to process ever so slowly?" Greg retorted as he climbed on a chair to get to his latest coffee hiding place.

"Not still in a mood because I processed Grissom and Catherine's evidence before yours? Gotta get a little perspective in life - Argue about the big things in life." Greg raised an eyebrow and was about to ask why David was being nice – Because in his own way he was being less snide than usual, but then Greg realised why.

"Stop stealing my coffee!"

"All's fair in love and caffeine," Hodges replied with a smirk and a wink as he finished his coffee and left the room.

Greg frowned. What the hell was Hodges on about? He shrugged; sleep deprivation was making everyone else seem stranger…

"Hey Greggo!" Nick grinned as he and Warrick entered the lab.

"Looks like our time machine works!"

"Haha very funny, Grissom asked me to cover, no one else to." Greg replied as he began searching through the mountain of files for what he wanted.

"Whatever you say man, but seems to me like you miss being a lab tech, either that or you just like your ass kissing."

"Yes because I do like working in the lab on my night off – Papa Olaf says that-" Greg began but was cut off by Nick.

"Forget what Papa Olaf says, what does the DNA?" He asked as Greg glanced at the sheet before handing it over.

"Seamen on the bed had two donors. The vic's husband and an unidentified male."

Nick raised an eyebrow. "She was having an affair?"

"Either that or a threesome action." Greg replied, causing Warrick to roll his eyes.

"Look's like we better have another talk with the husband – I'll call Brass." Warrick said as he got out his mobile and left the lab.

"Yeah, I'll catch you up." Nick promised before turning back to Greg. "Hey, you seen Bobby around?"

Greg shrugged lightly. "Was testing some guns I think from Catherine's case a bit ago, not seen him in a while though. "I thought your victim was stabbed anyway?"

"Yeah, she was." Nick replied distractedly as he caught sight of Bobby coming out of the men's toilet.

Greg watched with confusion as Nick left his lab and made his way over to Bobby, before pushing back into the toilets.

"This night is just getting weirder and weirder." He muttered before turning back to his work…

Greg looked up as Grissom and Warrick entered, looking slightly flustered.

"Hey Greg, you processed the fingerprint we found on the car door yet?"

"Yepsi, belongs to Kevin Turner, as does the seamen." Greg replied, getting interested looks from the CSIs

"Thanks Greg." Grissom said as they made to leave.

"Hang on; I thought Nick was working the case?" He asked, slightly confused.

"He was, he got a bit…busy, so I'm…helping out." Grissom explained with that damn half smile of his that was edged with superiority.

Greg raised an eyebrow and looked round through all the glass walls that partitioned the different sections of the lab. He couldn't see Nick…Or Bobby for that matter anywhere, they couldn't be in the toilet still? What the hell could they be doing in- Greg's thought process was cut off as he caught sight of Jacqui. She looked different. She was wearing a low cut top, and a skirt. Who was she trying to impress? Right now she was talking to Catherine, who for some reason also was dressed to impress.

Greg shrugged, probably some hot new male receptionist or something…His jaw dropped liked a dead weight – There was no way Catherine's hand should be…well THERE! Greg blinked as Catherine and Jacqui then disappeared into the women's toilet – Had the lab gone completely mad!? Nick, Bobby, Warrick, Grissom, and now Jacqui and Catherine…This had to be a prank – Though what for he wasn't quite sure. Oh and Hodges – How had he forgotten how weird Hodges had acted earlier…and the asshole has nicked his coffee!

"How's the old Greg Sanders fitting back in? Not forgotten how to do your job have you?" Greg sighed – Talk of the asshole.

"What do you want Hodges?" Greg snapped grumpily, even though he could usually waste several hours bantering with Hodges, he was really not the mood right now.

"What? Can't I just come to see my friend without needing a reason?" He sniped back, a smarmy grin on his face as he sat down on the desk next to Greg.

"No – And I didn't realise we were friends." Greg replied as he got up and put some files on a shelf near the back of the room

"Doesn't mean we're enemies." Hodges retorted as he stood up and walked over to Greg..

Greg rolled his eyes and made to reply, but was caught off guard as David Hodges suddenly pinned him to the wall. Greg thought about screaming as Hodges pushed his lips to his…But didn't.

Much to his surprise he found himself leaning in as David pulled away finally, both gasping for air before David kissed him again, more gently this time as both men clung onto each other through the unexpected (on Greg's part at least) passion

Somewhere in the back of his mind Greg wondered if everyone was watching through the glass…But judging by recent events they were probably all in the bloody toilets!

Eventually Greg opened his eyes and the kiss ended as David ran a hand through Greg's now extremely messed up hair. He looked deep into the older man's piecing blue eyes and was about to continue the kiss when something over his shoulder distracted him.

It was Warrick, emerging from a stationary cupboard, with crumpled clothes and a smug look on his face…Closely followed by Grissom…Wearing nothing but a red thong and his field cap – NOW Greg screamed…

Greg was still screaming as he woke up with a jump, the sweat was pouring off him and he was panting heavily. He. Did NOT. Just. Dream. That!

Eventually his breathing slowed and he dared to try ad lay down again and go back to sleep – It was probably an hallucination brought on by too much work and not enough sleep, he told himself calmly as he closed his eyes…Only to be interrupted a few seconds later by the phone.

He groaned and picked it up. "Greg Sanders."

"It's Grissom, I know it's your night off, and-"

"BAH!" Greg yelped as he threw the phone on the floor amongst his crumpled clothes, as if it was infested with plague.

"Greg? Greg are you ok?"

Eventually Greg gathered up the courage to pick up the phone again. "Sorry, dropped the phone." He mumbled quietly.

"As I was saying we –"

"Need me to cover DNA for the Graveyard shift?" Greg asked with a slight gulp.

"Yes actually, are you turning psychic on us?"

"God, I hope not." Greg mumbled back, thinking of his dream,

"So can you cover?"

Greg wanted to say no…But he just sighed. "Fine."

"Thanks Greg."

"Whatever…And red is SO not your colour" Greg added to a confused Grissom before hanging up…