A Life without Reason
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto!
I hate my life. All these years, I've lived for revenge. Hate and anger has been my fuel, revenge has been my passion…my obsession…my only reason for existence. And now, I have finally accomplished all that I have ever lived for. And for what? Revenge…now the word is so foreign and unfamiliar on my tongue.
He lies there now, eyes staring blankly up at the sky. The hole in his chest…his blood over my hand…my blood mingling with his…
Now it's raining. I have no idea how long I've been sitting here with his corpse. My ambition in life…my goal has finally been reached. I should be feeling triumphant…joyful…satisfied. But I feel nothing. Not the stinging pain of my wounds, not the cold biting wind, not the rain that falls down my face, soaking my hair.
It's all over. I close my eyes wearily. A tear slips down my cheek. Why are you crying for him?!? My mind screams. He killed your parents, obliterated your clan! Darkness begins to seep into my vision. My body is shutting down…I pitch forward, hitting the forest floor hard. I lay there, my mind running in circles and throwing me memories.
Flashback
"Brother, you promised today you would teach me Shuriken Jutsu…"
"Forgive me Sasuke…next time, okay?"
"It has been a while…Sasuke."
"Uchiha Itachi…I WILL KILL YOU!"
End Flashback
I lay here now, blood seeping slowly but surely out of my body. I said that I would kill him…and I have…I finally have. I have avenged my clan. My breath comes in shallow gasps. I have killed him…an indifferent smirk appears on my face and disappears just as quickly. Yes, I killed him because I have surpassed him in power. But boy, did I go through hell to receive that power.
Flashback
"Sasuke…quit seeking revenge. In this line of work, I've seen just how bad guys like you can get. In the end…those who tasted revenge were not satisfied…it ended in tragedy. You'll only hurt and suffer more…even if you are successful in your revenge; all you'll be left with is emptiness."
End Flashback
I smirk once again, wincing as it reopens a cut on my lip. Kakashi…you were right. Now, I have nothing to live for anymore. My revenge is complete…making me feel more lost and confused than ever before. You were such a powerful person…one of my precious comrades. You taught me the Chidori…trained me…but I didn't think that it was enough.
The curse seal…I still have it. It twinges with pain once and again, but I have lived with it. Imagine the look on Orochimaru's face when I betrayed him. Because that's what I am, right? Just a traitor. I've gone through hell to obtain power…but little did I know that it was the one place I was straying the farthest away from.
"You and I have both found our precious comrades…"
Precious comrades. The dobe…was like a brother to me. The loudmouth, the dead-last, baka, idiot…was my precious comrade. He would have gave his everything to bring me back…and I tried to kill him for it.
"You have become my closest friend…and that is why it is worth killing you."
"You really seem serious about killing me, don't you…Sasuke."
Looking back now, I fell like such an idiot. He risked his life trying to protect me. When I killed Orochimaru…I had no place to go. He pleaded to the Hokage on my behalf…and lo and behold, I was a leaf ninja once again.
Uzumaki Naruto…the only one who accepted me, welcomed me back. Little by little, with his help, the others began to acknowledge me. Grown from that annoying dobe of 12, he is now ANBU, and definitely the Hokage's successor. He had true power. He had friends…and love. I remember questioning him about it one day.
Flashback
"Dobe…"
"What, bastard?"
"…"
"Just spit it out already!"
"What is love?"
End Flashback
And Sakura. She has grown from the weakling into a skilled medic Nin. After all these years, she still holds onto her love for me. But…can she not see? I pushed her away because I wanted to protect her. If he found out I had comrades that meant something more to me…that would have been my weakness.
She is not the innocent little girl she was at 12. Now a grown woman, she is one of Konoha's most radiant beauties. Still, I must confess that I think of her as a friend…and nothing more. I think she has begun to understand it though…last I hear of her, she was tentatively asking a certain thick-eye browed, green spandex wearing shinobi out.
My past…my present…my future. All is a blur now. I close my eyes, feeling my life literally ebb from my body. I had so much to live for in the past…I have accomplished my goal now in the present…but I don't think that there is going to be a future.
I draw in a shaky breath. My eyelids are so heavy. The rain continues to patter down upon my limp form. Why? What do I have to live for now? I finally succumb to the darkness that beckons to me.
"Kakashi-sensei! Sakura! I've found him!" Naruto called frantically over his shoulder. His rival and best friend lay facedown on the forest floor in a pool of his own blood. The rain trailed down his face, mingling in with his tears. Why, bastard, why?
Kakashi reached his side. Sakura gasped. With shaking hands, Kakashi turned the limp boy over onto his back. With trembling fingers, he pressed two fingers against the pale throat. Sakura leaned close to his bloodless lips, hoping for a breath.
Naruto bit his tongue to keep from crying. Sasuke looked so fragile and helpless. Nineteen was too young for anyone to die. He cast a look at the other body in the clearing. Uchiha Itachi was dead. He had his revenge...and with it, he paid the ultimate price.
Kakashi sat back and Sakura let out a sob. The older man looked up. His one eye met the cerulean blue pleading ones of the other. "Naruto…he's gone."
Naruto sank to his knees. He put his arm around Sakura's shoulders to offer what little comfort he had. Kakashi rested a hand on both their shoulders. This boy had so much to live for…even if he did not know it…so much potential and determination…used for the wrong things… The rain continued to beat down upon the trio as they mourned the loss of their friend, rival, and student.
Why do I live this life? A life without reason?
A/N: gasp did I just write that? Like it? Hate it? Drop me a review!