A/N: I have gotten a lot of requests to expand this story. Once I've completed "We Can Fix This" I'll start adding some more chapters.
I'm in LA, driving back to my hotel after a meeting. Well, theoretically I should be driving, but this is LA and I'm actually sitting in a car on the world's largest parking lot. I've been chatting on the phone with my mom for the last 40 minutes of this traffic hell, updating her on how my meeting went.
Mom grilled me for most of our conversation about specific points of the contract I am being offered. I assured her over and over that I'd fax her a copy to review, but when my mom is in protective "mama bear" mode she's an unstoppable force of nature. Having her in my corner is a huge confidence booster.
Now that we've ended our call I realize how quiet it is in my rental car, so I flip the radio on to entertain myself while I inch along in the California warmth.
I catch the tail end of a song before a new one starts. My attention is divided while I watch some idiot try to force his way from one unmoving lane into another.
But there was somethin' bout the way
The blue lights were shinin'
Bringing out the freedom in your eyes
I was too busy watching you
Going wild child
To be worried about going to jail
My ears perk up as I recognize the song, and I turn up the radio.
You were thinking that
Running for it
Would make a good story
I was thinking you were crazy as hell
And you were so
Innocent
But you were stealing my heart
I fell in love in the back of a cop car
Immediately my mind flies back to being on the verge of 17, laughing with my best friend on a hot summer night.
Summer, 2011
"What do you wanna do?" I ask Quinn as she climbs into my car.
"Whatever, I'm up for anything. Is Britt coming out?"
"Nope. She said Lord Tubbs needed a bath so she's staying in to do that." I try to keep the mirth from my voice, but Quinn gives me a knowing look and we both shake our heads.
After our disastrous trip to Nationals, I know that Quinn is at least somewhat aware of the nature of my relationship with Brittany. She doesn't seem bothered by it, but I worry sometimes that our closeness leaves her feeling left out. I'm actually kind of glad we'll get to spend tonight hanging out just the two of us, and it suddenly hits me where I want to take her.
I put the car in reverse and pull out of Q's driveway, catching her curious gaze as I shift into drive.
"I wanna show you something," I say simply.
We talk about life and the train wreck of Nationals. We talk about the fact that her father has moved back into her house and how awkward it is for her to live there now.
Her indifferent tone of voice would convince anyone else, but I know she's hurting. It makes me sad. I'm a pretty bad ass bitch, but Russell Fabray has always frightened me. It's not that he's a physical man (I'm actually pretty sure I could kick his ass and I've definitely been tempted to find out on more than on occasion), it's that he knows how to cut a person to the core with a few well-placed words. He's a master of emotional abuse and Quinn has always been his favorite target. I hate him.
When we get close to where I'm taking us we see a "No Trespassing" sign. I drive right past it, casting a quick smile towards Quinn when she looks at me in surprise. I follow the dirt path for a little bit, a little nervous because the last time I was here I was in Puck's pickup truck and I'm not sure my car will navigate as successfully. I see a nice flat spot that looks vaguely familiar and pull onto the grass, then cut the engine.
"Come on," I say to my pretty blonde companion.
I grab a small portable speaker and my iPod, then hop out of my car. I climb onto the hood and lean back against the windshield. Quinn gives me a look and then follows suit.
We sit quietly for a little bit, just listening to the soft music playing from the speaker and the sound of the crickets singing their summer song. Suddenly, all of the sounds are washed out around us as a small jet takes off over our heads.
Quinn's eyes widen and take in the sight of the plane right over top of us, looking almost close enough to touch. She smiles broadly at me once the plane has passed.
"How did you know about this?" she asks.
I sigh, because it's kind of embarrassing.
"Puck brought me here right before sophomore year. I lost my virginity to him in the back of his truck," I admit, my gaze focused on the stars.
I can feel Quinn's eyes on me for a moment, but she doesn't say anything, and I'm grateful for that. I don't want to talk about my past with Puck, or any other guy for that matter. I may not be ready to send everyone rainbow colored coming out announcements, but I am done trying to push away the gay by getting involved with guys I don't have any feelings for.
Another plane goes overhead and I steal a glance at Quinn. Her face looks calm and worry free, she looks younger than I can remember her looking for a long time. I can't help but smile when I catch her eye, and her grin in response makes my stomach flutter in a familiar way.
I quickly look away from her eyes and focus on the stars again.
What was THAT?
I'm horrified. I mean, Quinn is hot and all, and I definitely wouldn't mind giving her pouty little mouth a taste, but just…no. It's Quinn.
Just as my internal panic sets in a sudden flash of blue catches my eye and I shoot up to a sitting position.
Ain't this some shit.
I look at Quinn in alarm and she gives me a defiant little smile that shocks me and sets my heart pounding even harder than it already is.
"San, we should run for it," Quinn whispers to me with that glint in her eye.
I shake my head incredulously just as the first cop walks up.
"Evening, ladies."
"Good evening, sir," I reply politely.
"I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to come on down off the hood of the car and stand over here. Both of you."
I comply quickly, while Quinn moves at a leisurely pace and comes to stand next to me. An older cop walks up to join us and immediately pulls out handcuffs. In what seems like an instant, we're both handcuffed and leaning against my car.
"Now do you girls realize this is a restricted area? You're trespassin' by being out here," the younger cop informs us gravely.
Before I can reply, Quinn speaks up.
"Oh is it? We are so sorry, Officer…?"
"MacMillan."
"Officer MacMillan," Quinn repeats with her best smile, "we are very sorry. Is there anything we can do to get off with a warning? You seem like a reasonable gentleman."
I know I'm not helping our cause with the shocked expression on my face as I look at my best friend. Quinn is laying on the charm, and I am completely useless. Officer MacMillan smiles shyly. I think she's actually done it, but then the older cop rolls his eyes and leads us both to the back of the police car.
"Do you happen to have a light?" Quinn asks the crusty ass old cop and I can't help but laugh out loud.
The cop looks at us with a slight sneer and then slams the car door.
"What was that?" I ask Quinn, wide eyed.
Her melodic laugh is so lighthearted I can't help but smile back.
"You're crazy as hell, little Miss Wild Child." I can't even be mad, I'm really just impressed and kind of turned on.
"Come on, Santana. Where's your sense of adventure? Could you imagine telling the story of the time we ran from the cops? It'd be legendary."
"Yeah, maybe, but let's not forget that we're handcuffed and my car would lead them right back to us anyway," I counter.
"False. Your car would lead them back to you, and you're no snitch, Lopez."
My jaw drops open at the insinuation that she'd let me take the fall.
"That's messed up, Lucy Q. Fabray. I can't believe you'd sell me out."
Quinn flashes me an evil little smile before rolling her eyes at my shocked expression as if it's a ridiculous reaction.
"Oh stop, of course I wouldn't. I think it would actually be kind of priceless to see Russell and Judy's faces when the cops showed up at my door."
I look at Q and see a clarity, a sort of freedom, in her eyes. It affects me deeply, and I have to look away.
Quinn slides across the seat to sit closer to me, bumping me with her shoulder and giving me a smile.
The cops are taking their sweet time, but Quinn and I just laugh and joke around, completely absorbed in each other. My stomach aches in the best, laughed-too-hard, kind of way.
When Quinn eventually leans her head on my shoulder and asks what my parents will do to me if we actually are under arrest, I shrug slightly.
"They won't be happy, but Mom will still get her firm to defend me. It won't be the end of the world."
Quinn nods slightly and then peeks up at me from under her long eyelashes, a smile playing at her lips.
I know right then that I'm already gone, completely in love with my other best friend.
Oh my God.
The door on Quinn's side opens suddenly.
"Okay ladies, you're free to go," Officer MacMillan says.
Quinn slides to her left a bit, but pauses and looks back at me, holding my eyes for a moment. She gives me a little smirk and then turns to get out of the car.
I'm breathless, but quickly follow behind her.
"Consider this a warning. If we catch you out here again, we'll have no choice but to arrest you. Am I clear?"
I see Quinn readying to say something undoubtedly smart assed, so I jump in quickly.
"Yes, sir. We understand."
Our cuffs are removed.
"Okay, then you're free to go."
I practically run to my car and grab my iPod and speaker off the roof, then climb in. Quinn once again lazily follows behind me and gets in the passenger side.
I'm back to the main road in a few moments and we start hysterically laughing.
"Holy shit, Santana. I had no idea you were such a good girl. Miss Lima Heights Adjacent, ladies and gentlemen," Quinn teases me.
"Please, Fabray. I'm too pretty for prison. The key to being a true bad ass is not getting caught, anyway."
Q laughs lightly at that.
When I pull into her driveway a little bit later, I put the car in park and turn to face her.
"Definitely a night not to be forgotten any time soon," I say, shaking my head a little.
"Definitely not," Quinn says in response before leaning over to give me a hug.
My head is swimming with the scent of her and the sudden desire to tell her something that I can never say.
She turns her face and kisses my cheek gently, glancing into my eyes briefly before turning to slide out of my car and skip lightly to her front door. With one last glance back at me and a small wave, she disappears inside.
When I get home that night, I rush quickly up to my room and close the door.
My whole body feels off and I can't seem to capture my own thoughts long enough to analyze them. I'm overwhelmed and confused, and almost instinctually reach for a beat up notebook hidden under a pile of clothes in my closet.
In 20 minutes I've written the lyrics to the song that is assaulting my senses. I feel tears threatening, so I decide to leave it at that, without writing the music tonight.
Instead, I call Brittany and ask her about Lord Tubbington's bath.
A few days later I am hanging out with Quinn and Britt, feeling extremely uneasy but trying not to show it.
"So what did you guys do together last Friday?" Brittany asks as she applies a coat of nail polish to her toes.
My stomach does an uncomfortable flip and I falter when I try to answer.
"Oh, nothing much. Just drove around and talked a bit," Quinn answers airily.
"Laaaame," Brittany sing-songs.
"Totally," Quinn laughs in response.
Hazel-green captures my gaze, and a secret smirk graces pretty pink lips, stealing my breath. I give a small, quick smile in return and redirect the conversation to our upcoming Cheerios camp.
Quinn is unusually quiet.
When school starts again, Quinn shows up looking like the sexiest skank I've ever seen. It's like an outward representation of the reckless freedom I saw in her on the night we were almost arrested.
The pink hair, the nose ring. I see a flash of metal in her mouth once and almost pass out.
It's hot, but makes me nervous whenever she comes close to me, which isn't often. Quinn has placed an odd kind of block up between herself and everyone else. It's frustrating, but also a relief for my overworked nerves.
I don't know if I can really handle being around her, anyway.
Finn outs me like the idiot he is. On top of that, I somehow get roped into being the topic of Glee Club for a whole stupid ass week. All I can think is, "A simple apology would do, Teenaged Michelin Man."
Quinn sings "I Kissed a Girl" with me and the other Glee girls. She hugs me at one point and every nerve in my body fires at the same time. I'm almost positive she feels me shiver at the contact.
February 14th, 2013
Quinn and I get slightly drunk and sleep together at Mr. Schue's almost-wedding. It's amazing, and I know she feels it too. I see that freedom in her eyes again, but it fades when she insists, without any prompting, that it's a one-time thing.
It isn't. It's a two and then a three-time thing before we leave each other the next day.
Quinn kisses me before we leave the room. It's a deep, slow, wistful kiss, and I know we won't speak again for a long time after this.
My heart aches, but I understand.
Present Day
The song ends and I immediately call my mother and father, followed shortly thereafter by Brittany, Rachel, and Kurt. When I hang up with all of them, I scroll to Quinn's name in my phone. My finger hovers over the call button.
I chicken out and lock my phone instead.
My phone is ringing, I think.
I'm not sure if this is real life for a moment, and then suddenly I become aware of real and dream and where the hell I am.
I snatch my phone off of the bedside table.
"Hello?" My voice is groggy from sleep.
"Santana?"
I'd know that deep, raspy voice anywhere. I am instantly wide awake.
"Quinn. Is everything okay?"
"Yeah, everything is fine. Did I wake you up?"
"Um, yeah. I'm in LA. It's 6:30."
"Oh. I'm sorry! I'll let you go."
"No! It's okay. What's up?"
"Nothing, really. I just...needed to hear your voice."
I'm not sure what to say to that.
"O...kay? Are you sure you're alright?"
She laughs quietly.
"Yeah, San. I'm fine. I just heard this song on the radio and it reminded me of you. It made me really want to talk to you again."
I lick my lips, my mouth feeling suddenly dry.
"What song?"
"What are you doing in LA?" Quinn evades my question.
"I'm being offered a songwriting deal. One of my songs got picked up and recorded by a pretty major artist. The right people heard my name, and here I am," I tell her happily.
"Holy shit, Santana! That's amazing! I'm so proud of you."
"Thanks," I say, smiling broadly.
"Who recorded your song?"
"I'll tell you if you tell me what song reminded you of me," I challenge.
Silence. I can practically feel Quinn debating whether or not to tell me.
"I think it's called 'Cop Car.' It's by Keith Urban," she finally admits. "So who recorded your song?"
"Keith Urban."
Silence.
"Santana..."
I wait for her to ask me, my nerves alight with tension.
"You did, didn't you?" Quinn finally asks, but it's not really a question. "You wrote that song?"
"Yes."
"When?"
"When I got home after dropping you off."
"You…you really fell in love with me that night?"
"Yes."
"Do you still...?"
I don't even hesitate.
"Always."
I hear a sharp intake of breath and then silence for a moment.
"When will you be back in New York?"
"I can be on the next flight out."
"Okay. I'll get on the next train."
I'm already out of bed, packing my stuff.
"I'm packing now. I'll text you my arrival info."
"Okay..." Quinn pauses before continuing, "I felt it too, you know. That night."
"And now?"
"Always."
I'm silent with disbelief as my heart leaps.
"I'm on my way."