Hello beautiful people! I know I promised to update my other two stories once I got back from vacation (which was amazing by the way-my brother and I went to Alaska which is seriously so gorgeous-if you ever have the opportunity to go-take it!), but this idea popped into my head after watching the writers make it look like Emison was rising only to have Emily get all nervous and talking about her feelings with Sabrina. Like WTF?! Emily your wife needs you, so would you please for the love of God STOP running from your feelings and go be with your soulmate already!
So I thought to myself...hmmm you know what that's some bullshit. Let me see what I can do to spin this shit so I like it better. Then I realized that the writers probably won't do the exploration of Alison's sexuality any justice...and I don't really like that either. As someone who just recently figured out at 23 that I (like Alison) am attracted to both men and women but find myself leaning more towards women...I would love to see them explore that on the actual show. But considering they probably won't...I decided to.
I stole a character from my other fics to be Alison's ex-girlfriend-and I really enjoyed writing them as ex-lovers, but please know in my other stories they are strictly platonic!
I hope you all enjoy and please let me know what you think!
Also, let's pray that the writers do Emison justice, because frankly WE deserve it and Emily and Alison deserve it!
Burning Embers
An Emison One Shot
For a wonder Alison DiLaurentis was actually feeling relaxed and comfortable in her own skin as she lounged in her spacious living room and sipped her incredibly delicious chamomile tea. It helped that her aunt Mary (who looked freakishly just like her dead mother) was away on business, so she actually had her damn house to herself. And it's not like she didn't appreciate what Mary Drake had done to get her out of that horrible place, but their relationship was strained at best. They kind of just existed within the same space because they had to…and needless to say the teacher didn't trust her at all.
Ali knew the older woman was at some point working with that monster Elliot, who fucking tortured her and made her think she was losing her mind. And yeah maybe it's horrible that she doesn't feel the least bit sad or guilty that the others had run him over while she'd been sprinting away from his demented clutches, but whatever, she can't help the way she feels. The only thing she feels bad about is that Hanna, Spencer, Aria, and Emily might have to pay for what they did if anyone ever connected his death to them. But Ali was confident that they had enough evidence to throw a self-defense case together if it came to that point.
Alison let out a heavy sigh at the thought of her four best friends. She knew that they all (besides maybe Emily) believe she killed Charlotte, which was just fucking ridiculous. She dedicated her life to helping Charlotte heal-only to find out that her sister (well, cousin actually) was in a relationship with Elliot and never actually gave up the –A game. She was merely in hibernation while at Welby putting on a brilliant show until she convinced everyone that she was well enough to be released. God, that judge should have listened to Aria…
And Ali knows she shouldn't resent Charlotte because clearly she was suffering from mental illness and being manipulated by damn near everyone (especially Elliot), but Jesus! She gave up her life for her! And yet still her heart aches when she thinks about the fate the woman who she considered her sister suffered. Whoever actually killed her had done a brilliant job of covering up their tracks, and Ali wonders if they'll ever actually solve her murder…
And really figuring out who killed Charlotte and who was still making all their lives a living hell should be her main priority at the moment, but as always her feelings for Emily Fields outweigh everything else.
As ridiculous as it may sound Alison was actually convinced that for once the two of them were on the same page and on the verge of becoming something real…only to find out that Emily was giddy about Sabrina when Alison was you know being tortured by her psychotic husband. So much for thinking true love would prevail against all odds, because Emily and Sabrina had been seeing each other steadily and Ali literally couldn't even stomach the sight of it. For starters she didn't even know that Sabrina was gay. She may not have been the gossiping queen bee of Rosewood High anymore, but she was perceptive as a motherfucker and she never saw The Brew's barista even show the slightest bit of interest in women before…
Well, I guess Emily just has that effect. She makes every girl swoon.
If Ali wasn't broken before, she's definitely shattered now. She was so endlessly in love with Emily and she didn't even stand a chance with her mermaid. God, talk about karma being a bitch.
The ringing of her cell phone snaps her out of her self-loathing and pity filled thoughts. As she glances down at the screen she can't help the smile that spreads across her face as she takes in the name of the only other woman to hold her heart besides Emily…
Brittany. Her college girlfriend…the one who made her realize that she wasn't just attracted to Emily…that she was indeed bisexual. God, I owe her so much.
For the two years that they were together Brittany had made her honestly believe that she could let Emily go. That she could be completely happy with someone else. The gorgeous basketball superstar had a heart of gold and treated her with nothing but respect. She knew what Ali's limits were and she never pushed the blonde into anything she wasn't ready for. She was utterly perfect…and Alison fell head over heels for her. She'd been more open and vulnerable with her than anyone she'd ever met. Brittany had loved and accepted every single one of her flaws and Ali was eternally grateful.
Even now two years after they'd broken up Alison's heart still hammered against her chest at just the thought of hearing the athletic brunette's voice. Truth be told a part of Alison would always love Brittany and maybe if Emily Fields didn't exist Alison could have actually let herself move to Europe and create a life with her first serious romantic love.
But after Brittany graduated from St. Johns University in New York City and signed her record breaking contract to play basketball overseas…Ali couldn't bring herself to go. She lied and said it was because of Charlotte-that her sister needed her to stay in Rosewood-but in actuality it was because there would always be a part of her that longed for Emily Fields. And Brittany knew her so completely that she saw right through her façade…which made their break up that much more gut wrenching when the truth came out.
There have been numerous times over the past two years where Alison has kicked herself for not just going with Brittany to Europe and allowing herself to be happy. But it wouldn't have been fair to the kind hearted basketball phenom. Brittany was too incredible to be any woman's second choice…even hers.
Answering the call before it went to voicemail Ali couldn't keep the blissful lift out of her voice, "Hello…"
"Hey, beautiful…" Brittany echoed in return and Alison could feel her cheeks blush. Yeah a part of her would always swoon for Brittany. God, why the fuck did Emily have to capture my heart at 15 on the goddamn floor of the school library only to not be into me now?! Jesus, I had the best girlfriend on the planet and couldn't even love her the way she deserved to be loved because of my mermaid…
"Britt…" Ali could feel her eyes water, "It's so good to hear your voice." And it was. God, I miss you. Since they'd broken up they only talked a couple times a year (really just to make sure the other was functioning okay) and it was slightly embarrassing how much of an ache that left in Alison's heart given that she was the one who broke things off. But Ali was just thankful she still had Brittany in her life at all-that they were able to create somewhat of a friendship after everything…
"Yeah I heard you've been through hell recently…" Her former lover treaded carefully-as always never wanting to push her before she's ready. Jesus, how is she real?
Ali let out a watery chuckle as she wiped her eyes, "You could say that…"
A few silent moments passed as Alison continued to sniffle and it sounded like Brittany was walking somewhere…what the hell?
"Well…maybe you should turn around…and I can give you a proper hug."
Alison's head whipped around so quickly to the entrance of her living room that she's surprised she didn't fall flat on her ass off her couch. There standing a few feet away from her looking just as effortlessly beautiful as always in a white v neck shirt, frayed designer jeans, and Jordan's (always with the Jordan's) was the woman who in any other universe would be the love of her life. Her wavy brown hair cascaded perfectly down her back and her light blue eyes sparkled as they settled on the teacher. God, she's only gotten more beautiful with time.
Ali couldn't resist, she bolted from the couch and threw herself into Brittany's strong arms. She knew she'd catch her. She always caught her. And God her ex smelled just as amazing as ever. The perfect mixture of sweat pea body wash and dark roast coffee…and she was just as toned and defined as she was two years. Sure Alison had seen Brittany on TV numerous times-winning multiple championships and MVP awards overseas (where all the money was in women's basketball) with so much grace and poise, but to actually feel her again and to be in her presence was just too much…
Once the tears started she just couldn't stop them. Sobs racked through her still fragile body as Brittany just continued to hold her so fucking tenderly…which made her cry even more. It wouldn't be so painful to see Britt again if she were in a relationship with Emily, but knowing that her mermaid had moved on and showed no intention of ever desiring her again just made her clutch onto her damn near perfect ex with everything inside of her. If Emily was really done with her, how the fuck could she have let Brittany slip through her fingers?
"Let it out, baby. Let it out." Brittany softly cooed into her ear as she gently caressed her back trying to get the blonde's breathing to settle. And God did Alison ever: Let. It. Out. She hadn't cried in what felt like an eternity and she found herself crying for everything that had ever happened to her.
For –A, for being buried alive by her own mother, for living on the run for two years, for spending time in prison for a murder that never happened, for losing the friends who meant everything to her, for Charlotte's death, for Elliot's torture, for not being with Emily who she knew was her soulmate, for having someone as wonderful as Brittany love her but not being able to give herself completely to her…for everything.
She cried and her ex-girlfriend, who would give her the world if she asked, held her. And damn if it wasn't the best form of catharsis in the world.
"I'm sorry for unloading all of that on you." Alison softly whispers as her hand finds Brittany's and she reflexively leans into the athlete's side on the couch that they were occupying at The Brew with chamomile tea and dark roast coffee sitting in front of them. After the teacher had finally calmed down she'd just poured her heart out about everything that she'd been feeling and everything she'd thus far kept under wraps. She hadn't gone into detail about what happened to her at Welby with any one until her former love appeared in her living room. Like always Brittany just listened and helped her get through.
Thank God Nike had Brittany doing promotional work in Philly with 76ers star Ben Simmons and she felt compelled to check up on me. She could probably sense that I was at my breaking point-she always knew when I needed her the most. If only a certain tanned brunette could sense those things…
"You never have to apologize for opening up to me, Ali…I'll always be here for you." Brittany's thumb softly caressed the back of her hand and Ali sighed. God, it'd be so easy to just fall back into her again…
"I don't deserve that…" Ali sniffled, "Not after what I did to you."
"Hey…" Brittany's free hand cupped her cheek and caught the lone tear that slipped out of her ocean depths, "You were honest about how you feel Alison…I'd never hold that against you…" Ali could see the pain swirling in Brittany's blue eyes and she wanted to just kiss her and tell her that it was a mistake that she didn't follow her to Europe two years ago. That she didn't still have feelings for Emily. That she only loved her, but that'd be a lie…and the blonde didn't have the strength to lie anymore.
"And even though it sucks to realize that I could never give you what you need…" Ali offered her ex a sad smile because of the truth behind her words. In another world at another time she would have been it for me…"I'm so proud of you, baby…for being brave enough to accept what's in your heart and not take the easy way out."
For a solid moment Alison was rendered speechless by Brittany's words. She's proud of me? For being honest and breaking her heart in the process? And that's when it hit her. Brittany loved her so much she was willing to sacrifice her own happiness in order to see Alison truly happy. Ali was in awe. God doesn't make too many humans like her.
The teacher burrowed further into Brittany and rested her head against the basketball star's chest so she could hear her heartbeat…it always calmed her down.
After a few quiet minutes the blonde truthfully hollowed out, "I took the easy way out when I married Elliot…"
Brittany placed a gentle kiss on the crown of her head and Ali had to remind herself that the woman holding her was no longer her girlfriend. It was either that knowledge or the fact that Emily Fields would never be hers that kept her up most nights.
"I know…but you were spiraling after Charlotte's death."
Sometimes it unnerved her how Brittany never judged any course of action she ever took, but then again it was nice to have someone always see the best in her. Well it'd be even better if Emily saw that…like she used to…
"God, I should have just called you…You would have grounded me and kept me from doing something so reckless." And it was true. The last time she had spoken to Brittany was before Charlotte's hearing, when her life was still somewhat together. And she hadn't reached out since, because she knew her former lover would see through her transparently...and even though the blonde knew that's what she needed...she was still stubborn as hell.
"Well the next time you feel like you're spiraling. Please, just call me Alison. I promise, I'll answer." Her ex made it sound so simple. But could anything in her life honestly ever be simple? The only time she'd ever really felt simplicity was for the two years she had Brittany to rely on. Could her ex love really be that support system she so desperately needed even if nothing romantic (other than small signs of affection of course) ever happened between them again?
Lifting her head so she could look directly in Brittany's eyes, Ali reverently brushed her fingers along the contours of the brunette's face as she softly declared, "I love you."
And she did. She did love Brittany. She loved her for showing her what a romantic relationship should contain, for helping her come to grips with her sexuality, and for loving her so wonderfully. If Alison's ever able to be with Emily like she so desperately desires, her ability to successfully do so will be because she had Brittany Johnson in her life.
"And please, believe me, Britt when I tell you that every time I said it during the course of our relationship I meant it…I do love you and I cherish every single second that we spent together." Tears collected in her eyes once more. It always amazed Ali how easy it was for her to be so open and exposed with Brittany. She was the first person who she never masked any feelings around…and God was it liberating to just…be. To just be herself without having to worry about proving her authenticity…
Brittany delicately held her face as she gently wiped the teacher's tears with the pads of her thumbs, "I know, Ali. I know that what we had was real and genuine." Brittany reassured and rested their foreheads together as her own tears formed, "I love you, too…I'm just…I'm just not your soulmate."
Alison's breath hitched as her eyes shut and she painfully inquired, "But what if I'm yours and you spend the rest of your life miserable all because of me…" God, that would just kill her. She doesn't want to be the cause of anymore pain…especially not Brittany's.
"Ali…" The athlete called and waited patiently until the teacher opened her eyes again before she continued, "I can assure you I won't be miserable. I get to play the sport I love for my job...and make lots of money doing so." The blonde smiled, basketball had always been her ex's salvation, "I have a wonderful mom and brother." Okay, that's true as well. "I have great teammates and fans who inspire me every single day…I promise Ali, I'll be okay."
From the look in her lighter hued blue eyes, Alison knew Brittany was telling the truth and it made her feel a whole hell of a lot better. Maybe she didn't destroy everything she came into contact with.
She titled her head so she could kiss Brittany's cheek and deadpanned, "You better fucking be."
Brittany let out a heartwarming laugh which was music to Alison's ears, "Nice to know you haven't lost all your flare, Ali."
Emily Fields had an excruciatingly long day between her morning classes at Hollis and working a double at The Radley. What she needed now more than ever was some caffeine and to see Alison's beautiful face-No! Sabrina! Sabrina's face!-she mentally scolded herself. C'mon Em, you're dating Sabrina not Alison…yeah, but you want to be with Alison. You think about her all the damn time…Jesus, brain stop! I can't deal with these thoughts right now!
The bar tender took a deep breath before walking into The Brew. The last thing she needed to be thinking about right now was Alison. Sabrina was easy to get along with and just…not complicated. She didn't have skeletons buried deep in her closet and a family with twin sister level secrets. She was just chill and honest…which is what Emily wanted. Yeah but she doesn't set your heart on fire just by looking at you. She's not in your visions of the future…only one woman is.
Steadying herself before she made her way to the counter Emily begged her subconscious to shut the hell up so she could enjoy her latte and spending time with her unofficial girlfriend. But God, do I even want her to be my girlfriend? No…
"Hey!" Sabrina cheerfully greeted her, completely unaware of the thoughts surrounding a certain blonde bombshell that were circling around in her head, "One large latte with lots of shots of espresso."
"Thanks!" Emily hoped she sounded somewhat appreciative as she took the paper disposable cup in her hands and quickly took a sip of the hot liquid. Its warmth spread through her body and she breathed a sigh of relief as the caffeine began to seep into her veins. Some say she's addicted, but she figures it's a better vice than what she used to turn to…
"I made these bars today that you seriously have to try. Why don't you go find a seat and I'll be right over?" Sabrina's eyes sparkled as she looked at her. Emily knows hers don't do that when she gazes at The Brew manager, but she tried to sound excited.
"Sounds good!" Jesus Fields could you be any more fake right now?
Hurriedly Emily scurried over towards a secluded table that faced the couches in the back of The Brew and as graciously as possible sat down. Setting her bag on the chair next to her the brunette took a sip of her latte as her eyes settled on the opposite wall and damn near choked at the sight in front of her.
Holy shit! There on the most comfortable couch The Brew had to offer was Alison-her Ali-cuddling with a woman. With a woman who wasn't her! What the fuck?
Emily's heart rate skyrocketed and her breathing became labored as she began to panic. No! No! I can't lose her! Not to another woman…
It was one thing to see Alison with Elliot-he was a man (a complete psychopath, but a man none the less)-but to see her be so content in an intimate embrace with another woman was too much. Wait…does this mean Ali's bisexual? Like she's not just gay for me?! And why the fuck does the gorgeous brunette she's wrapped around look so familiar?!
Emily always held out hope that she and Alison would come together eventually (once all the bullshit settled), but right now Ali looks completely at ease…and in love. Oh my God how could I let her slip through my fingers? Better yet when in the hell did she even find time to be with someone new? Well you started hitting on Sabrina when Alison was getting tortured by Elliot in Welby so maybe you shouldn't judge so quickly…
"Em, are you okay?" Sabrina's concerned voice made her furiously shake her head and try and focus on something other than the love of her life looking so blissful with a woman who wasn't her.
"Yeah…yeah," Her voice was shaky as Sabrina sat down across from her with a plate of delicious looking desserts that she no longer had an appetite for, "The espresso's just hitting me kind of hard…"
God, she felt like she was going to be sick. She willed her hands to stop tremoring, but it was to no avail. But worst of all she could feel her heart shattering inside her rib cage. Sabrina reached across the table to try and still her shaking hands as Emily's gaze settled back on Alison and the mystery woman.
Sabrina curiously turned so she could take in what Emily was seeing and a smile settled across her face, "Now there's a sight I've missed seeing…"
Emily quirked an eyebrow, "What…what do you mean?"
"Alison and Brittany…" And that's when it hit Emily like a freight train who the mystery woman was holding her Alison so securely in her arms. Brittany?! As in Brittany fucking Johnson?! The greatest woman's basketball player the world has ever seen and the female face of Nike! Now Emily really was going to be sick. How the fuck can I compete with that?! I'm a freaking bar tender struggling to get my college degree…and Brittany's a multi-millionaire global superstar…with an absolute heart of gold who single handedly is trying to say New York City public schools. Not to mention is the highest profile white ally in the Black Lives Matter movement...
"They were the absolute cutest couple…" Couple? As in Alison considered Brittany her girlfriend? Emily didn't know how to comprehend what she was hearing, "And so in love…" Love? Like Ali told her 'I love you'? What the hell was going on?! "God, it was so sad when they broke up…"
Emily doesn't know why she asks, but she braces herself for the repercussions, "What happened?"
"Two years ago when Brittany signed her huge contract to play overseas, she wanted Alison to come to Europe with her. She found all these schools that Ali could teach at and everything that would be close to the arena where she'd be playing basketball, but Ali said she couldn't leave Charlotte. It was absolutely heart breaking…"
Emily could feel the bile rising in her throat. They must have been serious if there was considerable talk about leaving the country and forging a new life together. Holy shit! How did I not know that Alison was that serious with someone?! Another woman at that?!
"Who knows? Maybe now that nothing's holding Alison here, she'll actually follow Brittany this time…" Sabrina gushed with sheer enthusiasm and Emily had to fight to suppress the tears that were threatening to roll down her cheeks.
I'm here. She has me. She can't just leave…I'll die. She's my everything. I love her!
Knowing that she was on the verge of an emotional breakdown, Emily quickly grabbed her bag as she hastily stood up and rushed out, "I'm sorry, Sabrina. I'm really not feeling well. Raincheck?"
She didn't even wait to hear the manger's answer before she was rushing out the front doors of The Brew. The tears had started pouring out of her before she could even get to her Toyota and fumble with her keys to unlock the door.
When she finally got within the safe confines of the driver's seat she no longer suppressed her wails. The love of her life was in love with someone else. Someone who could give her the entire world…
I've lost her! Holy fucking shit I've lost her because I was too stupid to grab on when I had the chance! Oh my God…
This was the worst pain Emily had ever experienced. Caffeine wasn't going to do it tonight. She definitely needed her other vice…that she hadn't turned to in for fucking ever…to numb her broken heart.
"When do you have to go?" Ali really didn't want to ask, hell she didn't even know if she ever wanted Brittany to leave. It was so refreshing to have her back…
As the former couple walked back towards the blonde's house Alison couldn't help but hold her hand just a little bit tighter-savoring the feel of it. Brittany's fingers almost molded as perfectly with hers as Emily's…almost.
"Soon…I have interviews all morning in New York with like every media outlet. Then I'm meeting with the mayor to discuss school funding issues…And I was going to pay my grandpa a visit before the charity game tomorrow night." Brittany trailed off and Ali let out a small sigh-because her ex was literally perfect and because she knew their time together was coming to an end. My life would be so much easier if I could just love her…and only her.
After a few moments of content silence Brittany stopped walking and turned towards her, "Ali, I know it's not really my place anymore, but can I offer you some advice?"
The teacher offered a subtle nod and soft smile because duh being with you was the only intelligent thing I've done in the past five years…I'll gladly take any advice you have to offer.
"Tell Emily how you feel. Speak your truth, Ali." There was a passionate ferocity burning within her ex's brilliant blue eyes and the blonde once again found herself rendered speechless. She can handle having to fight her way out of a mental institution (while being drugged she might add) but the thought of baring her soul to Emily Fields was terrifying. The most terrifying thing she'd ever have to do…Sure she was one tough bitch and brave as hell…but was she that brave?
It was easy to open up and be vulnerable while she was dating Brittany because until their break up she had never caused the athlete an ounce of pain, but Emily? God, she had hurt her mermaid on so many occasions. What if they couldn't move past that? What if Emily decided too much damage had already been done and there was no chance for them to ever be together?
Sensing the self-loathing thoughts swirling around in Alison's head, Brittany drew her into a reassuring hug and whispered in her ear, "You have been through so much and deserve to be nothing but happy for the rest of your life. And you'll never be complete…you'll never be whole without her, Alison."
Jesus, the truth behind those words.
Finding the strength to voice her fears Ali mumbled, "I'm scared, Brittany. What if…what if she doesn't feel the same way?"
God, I'll die.
"Do you remember when we went zip lining in the Tongass Rainforest in Alaska?"
Slightly confused by the change in direction of the conversation Ali pulls back from their embrace and curiously replies, "Yeah…"
Where the hell was Brittany going with this?
A slight smirk spreads across her ex's face, "Do you remember how scared you were at first?"
How the hell can I forget? I damn near peed my pants…
"But once you finally built up the nerve to step off the first platform you had the time of your life." Okay, I see your point. "Sure it was scary as hell, but once you got over that initial fear…all that was left was joy."
"So…you're saying I just have to go for it…just step off the threshold." Alison's heart starts hammering at just the thought of telling Emily how much she means to her.
Brittany playfully rolled her eyes in response, "Yes Ali…because if you don't you'll always be scared and always question just how amazing your life could have been if you had been honest about your feelings for Emily."
I hate how fucking right you are sometimes. Always so damn wise beyond your years…
"You can continue to live in this limbo phase with Emily where you two skirt around talking about the really vital components of your relationship and sure, that'd be doable because she'd still be in your life…but what kind of a life would that be? You'd merely be surviving instead of thriving."
How is it possible that you understand my life so much better than I do? Literally this is what Emily and I have done since we've known each other…
"OR you can tell Emily how you feel, she can confirm that she feels the same way, you two can finally be together and you'll spend the rest of eternity with your soulmate. Which option sounds better to you?"
That's kind of a no brainer, Britt…
Not being able to take her ex gushing about how wonderful it would be for Alison to confess her undying love to Emily Fields, the teacher exclaims, "Okay! Okay! For the love of God I'll tell her!"
After she searches Ali's eyes because she'd always been able to read her like a book, Brittany offers the blonde a proud smile before placing a gentle kiss on her forehead, "Thank fucking God because I can't have you getting so desperate that you marry a psychotic doctor on me again, Ali."
Alison laughs as she wraps her arm around Brittany's waist and finishes the walk back to her house feeling a mixture of dread and excitement fester in the pit of her stomach.
Dear God, please let Emily love me like I love her…
And also, please let Brittany meet someone who will love her in the way that I can't, because seriously God, she deserves it…
When she finally got home after crying in her car for God knows how long, Emily had intended on drowning her sorrows in nothing but alcohol for the rest of the night, but quickly decided against it when she saw her mom's resting form on the couch in their living room as soon as she walked through the front door. Her mom's cheeks were red and she was cradling a picture of her dad in her arms. Emily let out a heavy sigh-that meant her mom had definitely cried herself to sleep...
The tanned brunette knew how much the elder Fields woman had been missing Wayne recently and she vowed right then and there that she wouldn't be another cause of pain in her mom's life. Somehow Pam Fields always knew when she had been excessively drinking and it broke her heart every time. Knowing how much it hurt to have a broken heart, Emily wasn't about to do that to her mother again.
Grabbing a warm blanket Emily covered her mother so she wouldn't get chilled during the night and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead before murmuring, "Thank you."
Emily had a tendency to become self-destructive when she was in pain, but Pam had just unknowingly prevented her from going down that road. The brunette doesn't really know why, but the sight of her mom had given her a new resolve.
She wasn't taking the easy way out this time. She wasn't going to drink herself into oblivion and then pass out before dealing with her issues. She was tired of running. Tired of hiding how she truly felt about Alison. Because let's be real Alison DiLaurentis has been her entire world for a decade and she really really needed to find the strength to tell the gorgeous blonde that.
Ali had married Elliot so quickly after they'd all been reunited in Rosewood, that Emily didn't even have a chance to confess her feelings, but things were different now…
She couldn't just let Alison follow Brittany to Europe without telling her how she feels. Even if the basketball superstar could give Ali things that Emily never could…she needed to try. Her life literally depended on it.
And Emily still couldn't believe that Alison had been in such a serious relationship with another woman and she didn't even know…had they really drifted that far apart in those five years?
Well you were the one who ignored her phone calls because it was too hard to hear her voice and not be able to hold her in your arms…Jesus was that really the reasoning you used, Fields? God, I'm such an idiot.
Shaking her head, Emily moved towards the fridge so she could grab a bottle of water-refreshing and it wouldn't give her a hangover in the morning…win win.
Sitting down at the breakfast bar, Emily knew she should probably start working on some of her homework…but how could she possibly do that when Ali was potentially leaving again?
But if Ali's leaving to be with someone who obvious loves her and would take care of her, you can't really get in the way of that, can you? Brittany's certainly done more for Ali than you ever have…
No! Stop it, Emily! Ok yeah, Brittany Johnson is like a saint and she's hot, but no one NO ONE can ever love Alison as much as you! You gotta fight for your girl dammit!
Grabbing her iPhone Emily cringes. It's nearing one in the morning…should I really do this right now? Well, Ali usually goes to bed between midnight and two because she's never required that much sleep so you might catch her…
Jesus Emily, you know her sleeping schedule…what does that tell you? That you're in love with her…duh.
Having already found Alison's contact information in her phone Emily presses the green call button before she loses her nerve.
God, this could totally back fire in your face, Emily…
To her surprise Alison answers after the second ring and the swimmer's grateful that she's already sitting because the sound of Ali's voice alone is enough to make her buckle. After her exhausting day it was definitely a welcome sound…even if her angel's voice was laced with panic,
"Em?! Are you okay?! Did something happen?..."
It makes Emily's heart flutter just how much Alison cares. How people thought the blonde was still a bitch was beyond her.
"Ali, I'm fine. I just…wanted to catch you before you went to bed."
Do NOT think about Alison being in bed right now either, Emily…no matter how adorable and just damn sexy she is…no matter what she's wearing for pajamas…OKAY, seriously you aren't helping yourself!
Ali let out a heavy sigh of relief, "Oh, thank God." And then darkly chuckled, "I swear I have a heart attack every time my phone rings…"
Emily returned the sentiment as an air of understanding passed between them, "I know what you mean."
After a few beats of silence the teacher almost nervously inquired, "So…what's up?"
The brunette cleared her throat. Okay, you can do this Em…
"Well tomorrow's Saturday," Emily felt her cheeks flush as it dawned on her, "Or I guess technically it is Saturday right now…" I wonder if Ali can feel my nerves radiating through the phone?
"Yeah…" She could hear the smile in Alison's voice and it made her heart beat increase exponentially.
Emily shook her head in order to try and refocus, "And well, I um have the day off and I was just wondering if you were free…because…because I'd really like to take you out."
"Take me out? Like…like on a date?" Alison sounded stunned and Emily briefly wondered how the blonde couldn't tell that she was still completely crazy about her…Jesus, the other girls (especially Hanna) gave her shit constantly about how obvious she was regarding her feelings for Ali.
A smile spread across Emily's face as she confirmed, "Yes, Alison. I want to take you on a date."
And whether you accept or not will tell me where you are on this Brittany thing…because why would you go out with me if you're getting back together with her? In all honesty though I really just want to take you out and spoil the shit out of you…so please, please say 'yes'.
"Oh…oh wow." Ali sounded like she was bursting with joy and it made Emily swoon that she was the cause of that happiness.
Teasingly Emily hedged out, "I mean you don't have to go if you don't want to-"
"No! No! Emily, I want to go!" Ali gleefully stressed before whispering, "More than anything. I just…I just can't believe you finally asked me out."
"I can't believe it took me this long to do it," The brunette truthfully replied. Jesus, if she knew Alison was going to respond so positively she would have asked her out years ago.
"Where are we going? What should I wear?" Emily could just imagine Ali being all curled up in her bed with the gears turning in her beautiful head.
"Well…" Emily playfully began, "I can't tell you…it's a surprise…"
"What?! Em! You know I hate surprises!" Ali argued with no bit in her tone.
"Trust me, Ali. You'll love this one! But just wear comfortable clothes…like jeans and a sweatshirt…" Before Alison could reply Emily smirked and threw in for good measure, "But no mom jeans, Ali."
If Alison were in front of her right now she'd probably give her a playful glare and swat her arm…
"Dear God, I had one pair and you and Hanna never let me live it down…" Ali fleetingly tried to argue, but c'mon she was much too hot to own a pair of jeans like that.
The brunette let out a quiet laugh, "Nope."
It felt amazing to just joke around with Alison again. Ever since that horrible night where they'd run Elliot over after Ali had made her fleeting escape…they hadn't had many carefree moments. And it was a shame, because Alison's laugh was the most beautiful sound Emily had ever heard.
"So…Miss Fields am I meeting you somewhere or are you picking me up for our date?"
Emily playfully scoffed, "What kind of gentlewoman do you think I am? Of course I'm picking you up."
"And what time will you be here?" Ali beamed with a definite lift in her tone. God her dimples are probably showing right now…
Doing some quick calculations in her head, Emily answered, "Does ten o'clock work?"
"Ten's perfect, mermaid." The blonde quietly murmured.
Emily felt her heart drop into her stomach at the sound of Ali's pre-disappearance nickname for her leaving the blonde's perfectly plump lips. Okay is she trying to kill me?
Emily wanted to pinch herself. Was this actually happening?
"Great! I'll see you then!" She literally couldn't stop smiling if she tried.
A blissful beat passed between them…
"Good night, Em." At hearing Alison's words Emily was transported back six years ago to another phone call between the two. When Ali had been hanging on for dear life in prison and just needed to know that the swimmer was going to be there for her at the trial-no matter what.
Much like she tried to do then, Emily hoped her words conveyed every sentiment she felt towards the blonde (all the words she couldn't say) and offered some kind of comfort.
"Good night, Ali."
But unlike that rainy night so long ago, this call wasn't ending in dread and fear of what was going to happen, but rather hope and possibilities for what could be…
Emily got up from the breakfast bar and did a silent victory dance around her kitchen (so she wouldn't wake her mother who was sleeping in the next room). She knows she'd look utterly ridiculous to any outside observer, but she really didn't give a fuck because she finally had a date with Alison DiLaurentis!
#EmilyHasADate
After relishing for a few more minutes, Emily looks back down at her iPhone and knows there's something else she has to do before her holy shit she still can't believe it date tomorrow.
Picking up the device so she can make another call, Emily swallows a pang of guilt.
God, I never should have gone out with her in the first place. It was so wrong, because she was nothing more than a distraction from what and who I really want.
"Hey Sabrina, we have to talk…"
"Sabrina I promise it's nothing you did. You're amazing, but I can't lie anymore…"
"I'm not trying to hurt you, but…"
"Look, I've been in love with Alison since forever and we're both finally in a place where we could actually give a romantic relationship an honest chance and…and I'm not blowing this…I can't afford to…my heart can't take living without her any longer."
Alison glanced over at the gorgeous woman walking besides her and smiled. Since the moment Emily had picked her up this morning for their date the day had literally been perfect. For starters when Emily came to her door Alison had nearly fainted because the brunette was sporting a flannel and Emily Fields in a flannel just got the blonde all sorts of hot and bothered.
"Hey, Ali! Wow…you look beautiful…" Emily gave her an appreciative up and down glance and Alison found herself melting…and staring because Jesus, Emily was just too damn beautiful.
After being none too subtle with checking the swimmer out the teacher cleared her throat and finally offered a response, "Thanks. So do you, Em."
Nervously tucking her hair behind her ears, Alison glanced down and murmured, "You always do…"
Not realizing that Emily had even heard her reveal, she was shocked when the brunette gently grabbed her hand and softly declared, "As do you, Ali."
Bringing her gaze back up to meet the swimmer's, Ali inquired, "Really?"
She could feel her insecurities begin to fester as self-doubt clouded her thoughts.
As if sensing the dark places her mind was wandering to, Emily stepped forward and left practically no space between them (which Alison did not mind at all) as she cupped the blonde's cheek with her free hand and confidently proclaimed, "Yes. Always."
Before Ali could argue anymore, Emily grinned and playfully instructed, "Now, come my lady your carriage awaits."
The teacher couldn't help but chuckle, she found Emily's antics absolutely adorable.
Emily's enthusiasm had quickly rubbed off on her. Instead of being nervous for what the day was going to bring, she allowed herself to just be excited. This was her sweet Emily after all…
They'd been driving for almost an hour and Emily was humming alone to the feel good song on the radio. Alison couldn't help it as her eyes took in Emily's perfect features…she was completely transfixed. Ali didn't even care that she had no clue where in the hell they were going. She'd follow Emily to the end of the earth.
Jesus, I'm so in love with her it's borderline pathetic.
"Ali…" Emily's worried voice drug her out of her love struck day dream.
"Yeah?"
"I just…I just wanted you to know that I ended things with Sabrina." Alison smiled. It's funny she hadn't even considered the other woman an issue once Emily had asked her out last night. Frankly she didn't care if Emily even officially ended things with Sabrina because Ali would gladly eviscerate that problem once she and Em sorted through everything.
Despite the carefree ambiance that was currently gravitating between them, Alison had a feeling that some long overdue heavy conversations were going to take place today-at least she hopes they do. She wanted them to lay everything out so that they could actually become an 'us'.
"I didn't want you to think that I was like sneaking around with you or anything…because…because I'd never do that to you…you mean way too much to me."
Alison could literally feel her heart warm at Emily's words. The sheer sincerity behind them sent her soaring.
So much for thinking Emily didn't care about you…she obviously does.
Gently Alison brushed a lose strand of hair out of Emily's face tucking it behind her ear as she reverently murmured, "Sweet Emily."
The brunette blushed and Ali beamed.
Nice to know I still have an effect on you, Em.
Once they'd arrived at their destination Alison was momentarily shocked and very pleasantly surprised. She'd expected a restaurant of some sorts, but Emily had brought her to a breathtakingly beautiful section of the Delaware Water Gap national park nestled in a secluded area of Pennsylvania. When they were younger Emily had been one of the few people to know about the former queen bee's love for the outdoors. She loved everything nature had to offer (it had been a very needed escape from her manipulative family growing up) and she was deeply touched that Emily remembered that.
Turning towards her in the car Emily grinned and asked, "You still like to hike, right?" even though she already knew the answer.
Alison offered her an amused expression before quietly revealing, "Yes, but I haven't done it since Charlotte died…"
Reaching across the center console Emily interlocked their fingers and soothingly stroked the back of the blonde's hand with the pad of her thumb. Looking down Alison was amazed at just how perfectly their hands fit together-almost like God designed them to remain connected.
"Even more reason to do it now." Emily's voice was so soft and so comforting and Alison felt herself falling-falling deeper and deeper in love with this woman who captured her heart at 15 and never let her go.
"You need to get back to doing what you love, Ali. You can't punish yourself forever. Charlotte would want you to be happy."
After a content moment Alison looked Emily directly in the eyes and stated, "Spending time with you makes me happy."
And it was so true. It didn't matter what she and Emily were doing-drinking coffee, watching Netflix, scheming to take down A.D.-Alison relished in those moments. She felt the most alive when Emily was by her side.
A shy look crossed Emily's face as she blushed once more. God, Alison would never be able to handle how cute she was in like every situation. After a few seconds the swimmer's usual bravado returned and she giddily fired back, "Well that's good because this trail is like 10 miles long."
And that's how they ended up here. With Alison looking at Emily Fields like she was the most precious thing in existence as they hiked through the Pennsylvania woods…and let's be real for the teacher, the brunette was.
Up until this point the pair had merely been catching up, laughing, sharing stories, and every so often bumping into one another. Alison loved hearing Emily talk about her business classes at Hollis and how she one day wanted to get her Master's in Business Administration as well. Emily loved hearing how excited Alison was to get back to teaching her students.
So, when they came upon a bench and Emily insisted that they sit and take a breather (that really neither one of them needed because they were both in pretty good physical shape), Alison knew what was coming…or at least she thought she did.
After a few uneasy moments of both of them drinking several unnecessary sips of water, Emily tentatively hedged out, "Ali, I saw you last night…"
When the blonde gave her mermaid a confused expression, the brunette explained, "At The Brew…with…with her."
Suddenly Alison understood why there was pain swirling within Emily's soulful brown eyes and why her voice cracked. She saw her being overly affectionate with Brittany...and she assumed the worst. And if she was sitting with Sabrina-who probably misinterpreted what was happening between us as well-oh God who knows what Emily's thinking right now? Which-wait, Ali! Holy shit! You haven't even explained anything about Brittany yet to Emily! Oh my God, mermaid please you have to know that you're everything to me.
Emily left practically no space between them as she edged closer to Alison on the small bench they were sharing and painfully revealed, "And it hit me that I could lose you, which I know is a really stupid notion coming from me considering I left you to go to California and I've been an expert at avoiding you since I got back, but…" The brunette ran a frustrated hand through her hair as she exasperated, "Ali, I've been an idiot, okay? I know that. I was an idiot for not fighting like hell for you during senior year after we made love. And I should have fought for you the moment I saw you in your classroom-"
Not being able to take her love's ramblings any longer, Alison leaned forward and pressed a chaste kiss to Emily's lips effectively shutting her up as her hands delicately held the brunette's face. As Ali tasted her mermaid for the first time in over six years, she felt the wounds in her heart begin to mend and the shattered remains of her soul fuse together. Without Emily she was merely a burning ember, but with her she became an inferno. And Ali really liked being an inferno…
Pulling back slightly, Alison kept their foreheads and noses pressed together as she breathed out, "You don't have to fight for me, Emily. I've always been yours."
At her confession Emily opened her eyes and lifted her head so she could figure out if the blonde was telling the truth. Keeping her arms wrapped around Alison's waist, Emily asked the question that had been weighing on her mind since she saw the love of her life wrapped around another woman,
"But Sabrina said that you and Brittany were in love…that she was your girlfriend…and you were building a life together…"
Never releasing her tender hold of Emily's flawless face Alison explained, "Em, we were in love…and for the two years I called her mine I was insanely happy. She was honestly the perfect girlfriend. She showed me how to genuinely be in a loving romantic relationship, how to accept my sexuality, and allowed me to bare my soul, but…but I couldn't in good conscious move to Europe and build a life with her."
"Why?"
Ali smiled. God, how could Emily not know? "Because…because when I was 15 this kind hearted swimmer, who I considered my best friend, saw the best version of me-the person I wanted to be despite what I showed the rest of the world and when she kissed me in the library after I read her a passage from Great Expectations she made me believe in happy endings…"
Water gathered in Emily's eyes and Alison felt herself getting emotional as she continued to speak her truth, "And this gorgeously tanned mermaid became my hope-my ray of light when everything else in my world was shrouded in darkness, she was my evidence that good still existed. It didn't matter where I was-my grave, prison, a mental institution…she gave me the strength to keep going."
Tears were now streaming down Emily's face as she croaked out, "Ali…"
Sniffling Alison willed herself to keep going, "So…so when my perfect girlfriend who loved me with her entire being and would give me the entire fucking world signed a record breaking contract to play the sport she loves in Europe…I couldn't go…I couldn't go because I loved someone else with my entire being."
Letting her gaze bore into Emily's soul so she could feel the gravity of her words, Ali confidently proclaimed, "I love you with my entire being, Emily Fields…my hope, my mermaid, my soulmate. And I can't live another day without you, because you're the love of my life, Em."
After desperately trying to wipe her tears (to no avail), Emily gave up and held onto Alison even tighter letting out a strained laugh in the process.
"There's no way in hell that I can top what you said…all I can say is…I'm so in love with you, Alison DiLaurentis...my soulmate. I always have been and I always will be."
Emily looked at her like she couldn't believe she was real and Ali couldn't explain the feeling that was washing over her. Like everything was finally right in the world. Despite all the chaos that currently existed with A.D. and Elliot's death looming over them and all the ups and downs that were likely to occur in the future, she and Emily being together would be her serenity, her peace. As long as this woman remained by her side-she could handle anything life threw at her.
As Emily's lips met hers in a loving declaration mixed with passion and fire, Alison knew that this would be a moment she'd never forget. She'd already shared so many special moments with Emily-the kissing rock, the library, their talk of running away to Paris together, the first time they made love-but this kiss held something deeper. It was the first one after they'd said 'I love you' and it made her so damn excited to spend the rest of her life with the woman who even if she wanted to, she could never let go.
"In all the world, there is no heart for me like yours. In all the world, there is no love for you like mine."
-Maya Angelou
"I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. I love you not only for what you have made of yourself, but for what you are making of me."
-Roy Croft
I hope you all enjoyed! Please let me know what you think!
Though I intended for this to be a one shot, if enough people are interested I thought about writing a 5 year follow up chapter...
As always thank you for the support! You guys are the best!