That message repeated several times in Kibum's head. He's even memorized it. The exact way the words flow out, and how short the message is, how he doesn't even pay attention to Kibum anymore, how much they used to be friends and how Jonghyun seems to not even care anymore- was this normal? It wasn't normal in his mind. The thoughts nearly drove him crazy. Sure, he could text him- but he wanted to hear that voice, filled with the sweet love Jonghyun used to have for Kibum, the anger Kibum had bottled up after Jonghyun had found Taemin- a sweet replacement for the not good enough Kibum.
Sometimes Kibum lay on his bed for hours, choosing not to do his homework, or even study for the huge examination he knew he had the next day. Instead, he thought of Jonghyun. Was that always on his mind? Everything he did, everything he saw, reminded Kibum of that wonderful smile of Jonghyun's, the way he'd place a few soft kisses on his lips, the way he moved- "Snap out of it!" He told himself angrily as he poured himself some water. Being in thought wasn't the best thing when his hands were busy and he wasn't paying attention. His hand shook from the emotion of thinking of Jonghyun, and the water splashed on the counter. He cursed at himself, how could he be this.. obsessed? He grabbed a cloth and wiped up the spill, and took a sip from the cup of water. Clear, nothing meaningful, the water seemed to be like- so why couldn't our relationship have been like that? Key thought in pain, and set down the glass.
"I could always try calling him." He said aloud to himself, picking up his cellphone and scrolling through his list of contacts. Funny, he's still my number one on speed dial. Key eyed his phone with distaste, before finally mustering up the courage to call him for once, just to hear that beautiful voice. Ring...Ring... can you pick up your fucking phone? Kibum thought angrily as he waited. Finally, the voicemail came on, and Kibum decided to leave a message.
Jonghyun...Does my voice sound familiar? Doesn't it? Have you forgotten me? I want you to call me back...and I don't care what you need to tell me. No, I want to hear your voice, that amazing- Nevermind, just call me back. I have so much to tell you. Can we hang out soon? I miss you.
Kibum ended the phone call quickly, and set the phone down. He sighed, settling down in his room, laying on his bed. He closed his eyes, waiting for Jonghyun's reply, if he ever did.
The next day, Kibum was pissed off. Clearly, Jonghyun hadn't replied, even texted, or did anything like that. During class, he stared at Jonghyun with hate. The way he teased Taemin, held his hand, helped him with everything, reminded him of the moments he had personally with Jonghyun. We've done everything personal- even sleeping together, and yet you just fling me away like that. He stared at Jonghyun for a few more hateful moments, before directing his attention to his phone. Nothing. He wished it would somehow- notify him that Jonghyun had replied. But he hadn't and he silently trudged out quickly as class ended.
Jonghyun. Have you gotten my last message? I remember how you answered that question in class. Your smart. Shouldn't you be sitting away from Taemin? He distracts you so much. I wouldn't have done that. Besides, we still can be friends, can't we? I remember you told me how much we'll always be friends, no matter what happens. What happened to that promise?
Jonghyun stood at his locker, and checked his voicemail. Another message from Kibum. He angrily shut his phone off, but before he did, he listened to that message. A bunch of bullshit. He thought. How could he talk about Taemin like that? He highly doubted Kibum wouldn't distract him anymore. His staring pissed Jonghyun off. And since when did he ever make that promise? He scowled in disgust and slammed his locker shut, leaving for his next class.
Jonghyun. I'm not sure if you even check your messages anymore. I don't care. I miss you. Has anyone told you about how much we work well together? Make me your partner next time for science. And don't you think we should be dorm mates? It's driving me insane because you won't bother to talk to me. Please, I want to hear your voice.
The day of the prom. How would Kibum pull this one off? He had nobody to go with. He'd dress up and just watch, anyways. It was better than nothing. A loner is what I am. A pitiful one. Kibum thought, tears filling up in his eyes as he dressed up, he'd look nice at least. Maybe somebody would ask him to dance. Forget it. Nobody liked him. Even Jonghyun had told him that. Him, Kim Kibum, was meant to be alone. He deserved nobody's love. How could he have imagined going to the prom with Jonghyun Kim? Jonghyun had always told him that when they would be older, they would always be together. He'd planned it out even, how they'd get to the prom and all that. Kibum sighed in sadness and stared at himself in the mirror before heading downstairs. "Where are you going?" His mom asked, and Kibum quickly made up an excuse. "Friend's birthday party." He explained, heading out quickly. The cold, fresh air hit him quickly, making him feel lonelier than ever. Oh here, have my jacket. My Kibum can have everything. Jonghyun will treat you to everything. He remembered at Christmas time, when he was cold, Jonghyun would hug him tightly, and give him his jacket. Warmth from the heart, Jonghyun had always told him. Kibum arrived at the prom, quickly, pretty much late because he didn't want to be seen as a loner at the beginning. He slipped into the crowd quickly before anyone saw him.
Meanwhile, Jonghyun, himself, was having fun. It was amazing. Here he was, partying with Taemin. Taemin was adorable, in his eyes. The cutest smile, the deceiving innocence when they were alone in his room, how much time they'd spend together. Way better than being with Kibum, that was definitively what Jonghyun was thinking. The last thing he needed was to see Kibum ever again. This year was the best. Definitely, it all was amazing because of Taemin. But what about the first part? The time when he spent all his money on pleasing Kibum, and the time they would spend hours doing nothing but exchanging love for each other- No, he shouldn't be thinking of this now. Taemin was amazing. He was definitely better than Kibum.
Kibum, meanwhile, was standing in a corner, watching everything from a distance. Everyone seemed to be having fun. And have a significant other. Kibum bit his lip, but continued watching everything that happened. That is, until his eyes fell on Jonghyun and Taemin. They seemed to be having fun. Clearly there was nobody in the world except for Taemin in Jonghyun's view. No, he wasn't going to be some drama queen and burst into tears here. He should be strong, definitely. But he could help but feel his throat tighten a little at what interactions were going on between Jonghyun and Taemin...and before he knew it, tears began to spill down his cheeks. No, he definetely should stop this. Now. He told himself, wiping the tears up, but he couldn't stop. Meanwhile, Jonghyun looked over his shoulder- Kibum. He was crying. It wasn't that unusual for him to be crying, but the sight ruined Jonghyun's mood slightly. Of course, he turned his back and tried to enjoy everything again. But the sight of Kibum crying didn't help at all.
Jonghyun. I hate you. Nevermind about us hanging out again. It's not about Taemin. You can have fun with him. I certainly don't care. I'm sick and tired of caring. Since when did you ever care about me? You've only just left me behind like this. I remember when it was my birthday. You didn't even show up. It was just meant for us, both of us. A special day where we could just be alone...I knew something was wrong- I couldn't believe I caught you with Taemin like that...especially my birthday. How could you do that to me...J-Jonghyun...Have you forgotten? A-About me? No, forget it...I-I don't care. I'll be stronger than ever before. And all those days you said you were busy studying...what where you studying? T-Taemin? As if you ever talked about me to anyone. Y-You always look so ashamed when someone asked who your boyfriend was- and you always hesitated to say it was me. Now you tell everyone without hesitation your boyfriend is Taemin..I don't mind. I hope it doesn't seem like I mind. I-I hope I got that clearly across to you. And I hope you still remember me.
I loved you the most, Jonghyun.