Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, they belong to Hollyoaks!
Summary: Brendan encounters a familiar face in prison. Brendan/Sean pairing.
A/N: Request for bluebird :)
Release
Brendan kept his head down at dinner. He was sick of the antagonism, the threats. If he stayed out of the way they would have nothing to get him for. Brendan despised it. He despised feeling this weak. Each day brought a fresh torment, a further degradation of suffering. Every day he grew angrier and angrier. There was no release, no escape in a place like this.
Warren's men were thugs, plain and simple. They followed orders, asked no questions. One day Brendan would get them. Most of all he wanted Warren; he didn't care how or when but he would get to him somehow. For the time being however, Brendan had to bear it. He would avoid confrontation for now. He had tried fighting back but it had proved fruitless. One of the dirty bastards had even bitten his earlobe for the trouble.
Brendan spooned through the mess that was supposed to be food. He was sorely tempted to throw it at the wall but he refrained. He was starving. His ribs were beginning to jut out, he was becoming that thin. He was going to start working out soon to take his mind off of things and to perhaps give him a slight advantage if things got too heavy.
Almost gagging on the next spoonful, Brendan gave up. He glanced up, his eyes darting around for trouble. For once it was clear. He stood up and walked quickly towards the door. It wasn't wise to linger. Hearing a shout behind him, he froze. Turning his head a fraction to the left, he noticed Warren's group crowded around something, or someone. Brendan smiled a little, grateful that it wasn't him this time. When he heard the small yelp however, and saw the small, slight body curled in on himself on the floor, he sighed heavily and strode forward.
"Out the way" he said, his voice guttural. He pushed his way into the crowd, kneeling beside the small figure. "Ye alright?" he whispered, feeling several pairs of eyes on him.
"This isn't your fight, Brady" the biggest one, Jeff, growled.
Brendan ignored him, wrapping his arms around the young man on the floor.
"Not yers either" he murmured, lifting the lad to a standing position.
"You queer or something?" Jeff sneered.
Brendan's face was emotionless. "Why, are ye offering?"
Jeff lunged forwards. Brendan braced himself. Thankfully Jeff was an idiot. Meals in the canteen were always supervised. It wasn't long until a guard made his way over and Brendan was able to slip away, taking the boy with him.
"Ye alright, kid?" Brendan muttered, still grasping the lad's waist.
"I guess"
Brendan stopped in his tracks, turning to face him. "Sean?"
"Brendan?" Sean asked incredulously. Brendan immediately pulled away from him. "What are you doing here?"
"Murder. You?"
Sean blanched. "You can guess…"
Brendan rolled his eyes. "Ye idiot. I told ye to be careful…"
"I know" Sean said quietly. He glanced around himself warily. "Can you walk me back to my cell? Please?"
Brendan gave him a dark look. "I ain't yer babysitter"
"I know, but…please?" Sean gave him that look, his eyes wide and imploring. Brendan felt something stab at him. He hated how familiar that look was to him.
"Alright" he agreed. "Quickly though"
Sean nodded hastily, walking behind Brendan closely.
"Ye new?" Brendan asked, turning his head.
"Yeah" Sean answered. "How long have you…?"
"A while" Brendan said. "Aren't ye going to ask if I did it?"
"Did what?" Sean asked stupidly.
Brendan stopped walking, turning around to face him. "The murders"
Sean shrugged. "I know you didn't"
"Just like that?"
"Yep. I can just feel it"
"Ye got good instincts, kid"
"In my trade you've got to" Sean pointed out. "I know the good from the bad"
"I'm not good" Brendan said quickly, bowing his head.
"You aren't bad either" Sean said.
"Ye don't know me" Brendan growled, continuing to walk.
"Maybe not. But as I said, I can feel it"
Brendan laughed humourlessly. "I wish others could"
"Like who?" Sean asked curiously.
Brendan shrugged. "Doesn't matter"
There was silence for some time.
"So how's Ste?"
Brendan whirled on Sean, his fist raised. Sean backed away quickly. Kid had good reflexes. Brendan lowered his hand.
"Sorry"
"I've had worse" Sean said reasonably. "Sore subject then? I apologise"
Brendan merely grunted in reply.
They reached Sean's cell which was currently unoccupied. "What's yer cellmate like?" Brendan asked.
"Quiet" Sean said.
"That's good" Brendan said.
"And yours?"
"They haven't given me a new one yet. I was in solitary for a while"
"How come?"
"Ye ask too many questions, ye know that?"
"Something's gotta keep me interested" Sean said, his eyes sparkling.
Brendan laughed shortly. He looked Sean over. Sean's eyes locked with his.
"Do you remember the last time, Brendan?"
Brendan shrugged. "It was a long time ago" he said quietly.
"And yet you remembered me well enough to call for a favour"
"I paid ye, didn't I?"
"Not our time together" Sean said directly.
"Ye know that's not what I was talking about"
"I know. I just want to forget that"
"Fair enough" Brendan said, crossing his arms. They stood awkwardly in front of each other for some time. "Ye going in then?"
"Are you?" Sean asked quietly, taking Brendan's hand. Brendan snatched it away.
"I'm sorry" Sean said, backing away. "I just thought…well, you could do with the company. Like when you first came to me"
Brendan stared at Sean, his jaw set. "I don't need anyone"
"But you do" Sean said, smiling a little. "I can see that. And deep down you know I'm right"
"Stop pretending ye know me" Brendan said through gritted teeth, getting up close into Sean's face. "Ye have know idea what I'm capable of"
"Maybe not. But I don't really care" Sean said, laughing. "How can things possibly get any worse?"
"Ye wait, kid. It's…mental in here"
"And it isn't out there?" Sean gestured away from himself. "I'd rather stay here. At least I'm guaranteed a warm bed for the night"
"It isn't warm, it's freezing"
Sean looked down, still smiling. "I'll take what I can get. It's who I am"
"It isn't who I am. I work for what I get"
"Clearly" Sean said.
Brendan looked Sean over. The lad knew how to take care of himself. There was almost something a bit broken about him, but strong. He knew the harsh reality of the world and he dealt with it as best he could. Brendan admired that.
"Alright. My cell's empty so…" Brendan gestured with his hand.
"Is that an invitation?" Sean asked, his smile widening.
Brendan rolled his eyes. "Take it or leave it"
"I'll take it" Sean said smoothly, slipping inside his own cell for a moment. He patted his pocket. "I've got contacts"
"It worries me how prepared ye are"
"Perhaps I knew somehow I'd see you again"
Brendan laughed low, walking with Sean down the corridor. "I don't believe in fate"
"Neither do I. But I thought someday we'd see each other again. Not quite like this but…"
"Beggars can't be choosers"
"And I'd know" Sean said, amused.
"Hey" Brendan said, stopping short. "Ye make these jokes, ye aren't really struggling to live are ye?"
Sean looked away, his amused façade slipping. "I do alright" he said reasonably. "I've got friends, I sleep on their floors. Just whenever I get my own place it's pretty much a shithole"
"I remember" Brendan murmured.
"So I try to move around a lot" Sean continued. "I've only got to look out for number one, after all"
"I've forgotten what that feels like" Brendan said, looking around to make sure no one noticed Sean entering his cell.
"I wouldn't lose that, if I were you. It must be nice to care for people, have them care for you in return"
"They have a funny way of showing it, that's for sure"
Sean looked at Brendan seriously. "It's a trust thing, isn't it? Some people just lack it, or if you've given them enough reason to doubt you…"
"I have" Brendan said truthfully. "But ye expect certain people to just know, ye get what I mean?"
"Of course" Sean said, shutting the cell door carefully.
Brendan sat on his bed wearily. He hadn't long been in this cell; he hadn't yet given it the Brady touch, so to speak. All he had were a few pictures of Cheryl and his boys. Sean remained standing, glancing around himself.
"Not a bad cell this"
"It's all the same" Brendan said, lying back on his hard mattress. "I hate it" he was shocked by how venomous his words sounded. When had he started to crack? Why did he even invite Sean here, tell him all these things he was feeling?
"Sometimes having someone to talk to helps" Sean said, as though reading his mind.
Brendan grunted. "I don't get many visitors"
"Lucky you found me then" Sean said, sitting beside him on the bed.
"Mm" Brendan said in reply. He turned to look at Sean. The resemblance was a little startling at first but once Brendan closed his eyes, he blocked everything out. Sean kissed him slowly, deeply. His small hands tangled in Brendan's hair, behind his neck, on his back. Brendan found himself pushing Sean into the bed, lying over him.
The urgency suddenly seized him; it really had been a long time. He hastily stripped them, caressing any amount of soft flesh he could find, savouring the feeling of a warm body pressed against his own once more. Sean was responsive to each touch; he remembered what Brendan liked and didn't like, even though they had only slept together once before.
Brendan rose to a kneeling position, slinging Sean's legs over his shoulders. He pushed in deeply, groaning aloud at the feeling of him all around him. He already felt freer than he had in weeks. He pushed into him with wild abandon; Sean urging him on.
"Harder" Sean gasped. "Brendan-"
"Shh" Brendan said, silencing him with his lips.
He gripped his shoulders, the nails digging into the flesh. Sean didn't seem to mind however, he grinned up at Brendan, his eyes half closed with satisfaction. His hand was curled around himself, pumping to Brendan's thrusts. The climax was almost overwhelming. Brendan had to bite down onto Sean's shoulder to prevent himself from crying out as the release washed over him. Sean bucked against him, clinging onto Brendan's forearms as he came, leaving red marks where he had gripped so tightly.
Brendan half collapsed on top of him, breathing hard. Sean chuckled lightly, raising himself to rest on his forearms as Brendan rolled off of him. He left Brendan on the bed as he found his clothes once more. Apparently he wasn't the type to cuddle afterwards. It suited Brendan well enough.
"We can do this again maybe?" Sean asked, slipping his shirt over his head.
"Maybe" Brendan answered, closing his eyes.
"There's just one thing" Sean said. Brendan opened his eyes to look at him. "I'm not him"
Brendan flushed angrily. "I don't-"
"I'm just saying" Sean said, his hands in the air. "Okay?"
Brendan relaxed, sitting up to pull his trousers back on. "Okay" he agreed.
"See you around" Sean said, giving him a friendly nod. Brendan watched him leave, feeling strangely hollow.
The freedom he had felt was short-lived. He was still here, there was still no escape. But taking comfort in another body had made the experience that little bit less bleak.
Clearly Sean had taught him something important. The next day when Jeff and his friends approached Brendan, Brendan made sure that they never doubted his strength again. Jeff had gone for him with his fists raised and it had suddenly occurred to Brendan that he didn't have to take this. Brendan had knocked him squarely onto his back with one punch, all of his weight behind it.
Jeff had looked up at him, blood gushing from his nose, and Brendan had kissed his knuckles, disregarding the blood smeared there. There was no real satisfaction. It was all about survival. But for one moment Brendan felt free once more, and that was all that mattered.