Sparkly-fresh disclaimer as read by Steve from the Dell Commercials: Okay,
here's how it goes, man. It like this: Jon owns like, nothing man, diddly
squat. All the credit goes to those guys down at...uh, damn, wherever they
made the Spider-man movie, ok? And uh, Marvel Comics incorporated owns all
references to Spider-man. Oh yeah, and all Ranma ½ characters belong to
Rumiko Takahashi. Okay, dude, it's all yours. Oh yeah, almost forgot:
dude, you're gettin' a DELL.
Spider-MuuTsu
(or Muu Tsuu IS Spider-man!)
by
J. Carlson
Do you know who I am? You might want to think about how you want to answer that. The story of my life is not for the faint of heart.
If somebody told you my life was just fun and games, if someone just told you that I had not a care in the world, then somebody lied. You should kick that somebody square in the nuts, for me at least.
Truth is there's only one thing in my life that makes it all worth it. Xian Fu. She's right there, sitting on a bench waiting for her darling 'airen,' who's just about to round the corner. Now, I'd like to tell you that it's me; heck, I'd even take that guy he's carrying bound and gagged. Yeah, I know you see a black pig, but trust me, the fella's got a one-up on me, even. No, that's me right there, planted on the gritty pavement. The flavor's not as bad as you'd imagine; in my time, I've tasted many a nasty street surface and on a whole, Japanese streets rank fairly high on texture and palatability. Notice the subtle cracks in my glasses as she presses her heel into my forehead. My attempt at deftly leaping into her arms failed miserably when she planted a well-formed foot into my cranium. Without bothering to stand up, I might add.
The truth is, of all our little party of misfits, I fit in the least. Behind my back, I'm always 'duck-boy,' and it seems as though no one can say enough about my eyesight, as if it's something I can help. It all seems to be a kind of recurring bad sitcom formula: guy with bad eyesight grabs object he perceives to be the love of his life, while proclaiming at the top of his lungs his undying devotion. It's not my fault I was born with the depth perception granted a possum trying to avoid traffic on an interstate in a snowstorm. As for the rest...hey, we all have our little hangups.
I didn't come here to talk about me as a misfit, though; you wanted to know how that all changed. I guess that the best place to begin is when I got my new prescription. I was so amazed and dazzled by the new way I could see the world, that photography soon became my chief hobby. Of course in Japan, photography as a hobby is as common as the human need to breathe; its just normal.
What wasn't normal was that I actually started taking an interest in my own life about that time as well. I enrolled at Furikan high along with the rest of the rouge gallery, earning the place by teaching a class part-time helping out Chinese immigrant students adjust to their new home. Kind of like a JSL (Japanese as a second language). My function was often to provide guidance as the students went from class to class, and translation of the teacher's lecture. Occasionally, I got bored and took the translation into my own hands. The results were colorful and creative; I once took the liberty of changing enough of a lecture on the history of feudal Japan to make it sound like the teacher was on a Japanese superiority rant, almost causing an international incident.
That's not important, though; it's a living, and it has its perks. Xian Fu started going to school about the same time to get Saotome's attention. My presence allowed me to see her and remain inconspicuous. At this point in Nerima, just by showing up somewhere opens up for a conspiracy, as if you're going to start kidnaping fiancees and starting anything-goes tournaments on a whim. What really got my ball rolling was (waitaminute...that was a bad euphemism, wasn't it?) that I noticed Xian Fu having to hang close to my group, while pretending not to, to keep up with the rest of the class. The idea of her hanging on my every word thrilled me to no end, even if all I was saying was how to find the derivative of X.
After nearly half a semester of this (the events that led Shampoo to being enrolled in the first place were over spring break involving a bet, IQ levels, and jell-o. Long story), graduation began to creep up on us. This was strange for me, being that I already had the equivalent education, and I was feeling the same tensions all over again. I guess it was just contagious; maybe it was all because I felt I had something to prove to my Japanese counterparts, that I was just as studious as I was a martial artist. XF had jumped in to prove the same things, I think; her results were less then inspiring, however. This put a few pressures on me, all of which I really got into. I got a real hero complex when I realized that not only was she hanging on my words, but she depended on them. I took as many opportunities to explain difficult concepts as I could without running long in class. I wanted to do everything I could to make sure she got through it.
When the seniors took their college tours, I was with the group that had been assigned to the Nakomi Institute of Technology. I had eagerly anticipated the coming of that day for weeks; long had I been interested in the leaps in technology the world had made in the space of decades, when my own home in China had stayed so stagnant for eons. Just thinking about the magic of progression I would get to witness made me feel as though I were riding some great and powerful wave, taking me to paths unknown and futures unseen. Pretty trippy shit, I'd say.
The day started with average momentum. I enjoyed the early morning bucket of icewater alarmclock from elder Ko Lon, followed soon after by my usual gauntlet of abuse from both females. After my chores were complete, I was allowed a little freedom of movement for an hour or so. I decided to take the time to visit my good friend and physician Dr. Tofu. Friend, you ask? You actually expect me to live in Nerima long and not get to know the local medical services _intimately_? Dr. Tofu and I had gotten to be great friends over the many times I lay in one of his traction rooms. We swapped trade stories and tips; he just adored every story and myth about China I could remember. Big history nut, I guess.
Anyhow, I was eager to get out of the house that morning, sort to speak. I really had no particular reason for going over; just looking for someone to talk to, I guess. I breezed in the doors as happy-as-you-please though, the energy of the day's prospects undaunted by the morning ritual of ducklynching.
(You can probably tell I'm too long-winded for this to work, so I'll try and keep it to the action from here on out)
Muu Tsu swept through the entrance to the clinic, sliding on the soles of his shoes the last three or so feet. The twin glass doors closed neatly behind him as the Chinese youth turned to seek out his friend.
"Hey Doc, where are you?" he called out. A rustling sound in the rear of the clinic precluded his answer.
"Ohayo gozaimasu, Muu Tsu!" replied the Doctor. "I'm in the storage room, come on in."
"Sure," said Muu Tsu, striding the few steps it took to navigate past the waiting area and through the patient and research rooms Tofu had. It was a small clinic, but it serviced the ward just fine. He turned the corner to find Tofu on a footstool, replacing a lightbulb that had burnt out.
"Ah, there you are, my fine feathered friend," muttered the good Doctor in jest. Muu Tsu folded his arms in mock annoyance at Tofu's sense of humor.
"Sure you don't need any help, old man?" asked the Chinese youth with a smirk. "I'd hate to see you fall on your ass."
"Ha! You should know better; that's about the last thing that would happen to me. I have at least three things I'd try before my body would have time to contact the ground. I'm like a cat; I'd always land on my feet," replied Tofu. Muu Tsu shuddered involuntarily.
"Don't say the C-word around me, wouldya Doc?" he asked in a pleading tone. "I'm no Saotome, but I'm starting to get the real willies whenever Shampoo- neko decides to take out her aggressions on me as a scratching post."
"That's an image," chuckled the Doctor. "So, what brings you to my humble abode this early? Usually you're not up for the daily beating until at least six."
"Yeah, well, there's the big field trip to Nakomi Tech today, and that means around two hours of quality bus time going and coming. That leaves me with...fifteen good minutes of bullshitting with you," said Muu Tsu, checking his watch just to be sure.
"I'm honored."
"You should be, Doc; you're my only safe haven in this town. Ko Lon and Xian Fu have an absolute distaste for me personally and my gender as a whole, the Tendo/Saotome side of town suspect coming plagues in my wake, Hibiki doesn't trust me as far as he can throw me (which is pretty far, considering), and as far as Ukyo's concerned I don't even exist. Not that I care, of course," he finished quickly, making sure the wrong impression didn't come across.
"Don't worry; I figure you and our spatula-wielding warrior are just about the least compatible of our mix."
"Right behind XF?" quipped the young man.
"Yeah, I'd just about say," affirmed the doctor. "Oh, and your fifteen minutes? I'd get your watch checked; it's only five minutes till six."
"..."
"Yeah."
"...Gotta go," Muu Tsu exclaimed, eyes expanding to that of saucers as he turned and sprinted from the clinic at a fast clip. He knew the route to Furinkan by heart, but he knew that even at this point it would take much more then that to get him on that bus in time. Sure enough, as he crested the hill to bring him to the school's gates, he could just make out the silhouette of the yellow monstrosity pulling away from the curb.
"Hey! Waitup!" he exclaimed, pushing his body even further then he had before, desperate to catch the ride. When even that didn't work, he took to the fencetop as he had seen Saotome do on a daily basis. Using the fence as a rebound point, he leapt from the top and lashed out with a claw- tipped chain, snagging the roof of the bus and him along with it. Deploying a handy-dandy parasail (which he keeps on him for just such occasions), Muu Tsu caught the rest of the ride by air.
Arriving on the steps of the Nakomi Tech research facility, the students fanned out into their respective class groups. After managing a three- point landing (which he had been dreading for the last ten miles or so) Muu Tsu gathered his pieces of equipment together and restored them to their respective positions in neitherspace. He was briefly accosted by two muscle-bound Daigaku (college-students) who wished to know how he managed such a flight, and mentioned again and again how impressed they were. After narrowly escaping having to join some kind of motor club, Muu Tsu found his group and began the ascent to the front entrance.
Unseen by Muu Tsu was the arrival of a vintage 1948 Rolls Royce in the wake of the bus. Within, a conflict was brewing.
"Sasuke, could you pull up to the corner, please?"
"Wasamatta, keike? Yousa too embarrassed about da family dat you can't aeven beh seen wit' yo own fadda?"
"My family name is perfectly fine, along with my station. It's the fact I have a father that talks like Jar-Jar binks that has my undies in a bunch. Be seeing you," announced Tatewaki Kuno, age 19, as he promptly exited the vehicle and ascended the steps. Don't want them to think of me as a wierdo, with _that_ one running around.
Reaching the front entryway, Muu Tsu took caution when he caught sight of purple hair. He strode carefully forward, eager to not attract her attention today. He wanted the least amount of damage inflicted upon NIT as was possible. As he came near, she turned to him and smiled, shocking the youth to no end. The smile broadened as XF even waved, sending Muu Tsu into a world of joy. This world was short lived ultimately, as two girls he recognized to be Akane's two regular friends passed him and struck up a conversation with the Amazon. The tentative hand that Muu Tsu had almost returned the wave with scratched the back of his head in an attempt to hide his embarrassment. A voice from behind startled him out of his self- berating.
"Good marrow to you, sir. I trust that you and the other students had a safe journey?" spoke Kuno in the deepest flourish he could muster. Muu Tsu furrowed his brows and turned back toward the entrance, hoping to soon rid himself of the undesirable presence.
"Kuno, go away. You're a wierdo."
Dammit!
Upon entrance, the camera was out and clicking. Muu Tsu felt the fever upon him as he found shot after shot that he just _had_ to have. The projects were just so incredible, and the results they promised were just fantastic to him. The shutter on his Nikon nearly never stopped whirring as he spent his first roll and moved on to his second. The tour moved deep within the facility, soon coming to the main attraction of the visit: the genetics research laboratory. Muu Tsu hung on every word of the research aid as she gave a tour of the open-bay laboratory.
"Our facility has one of the nation's leading research programs on recombinant DNA and gene therapy" she said, as the tour moved through the lab complex. "Now, ladies and gentlemen, this is where some of the more advanced research is taking place. Thanks to a generous grant from The Stark Foundation, we are attempting to find a way to cure people with genetic diseases. If you will observe the video monitors, you will see a series of bio-isolation flasks where genetic experiments are done on several different species of spiders. Here, we are using synthesized transfer-RNA to recode the genome of the three species of spider, combining them to produce a kind of 'super-spider,' combining all of their physical traits.
She pointed to the monitors, where a colorful display was lighting up the room. "You can see the fifteen mutagenically activated spiders on the left, the fifteen control subjects on the right."
Muu Tsu was in a frenzy, eating up the information like so much manna from above. He was snapping pictures of the instruments like there was no tomorrow. A previously uninterested Ranma got close enough to give the Chinese youth a quick jab in the ribs.
"Hey, man; we've got a bad enough reputation as tourists already. Don't push it."
"Don't you find any of this exciting, Saotome? Take this for example," Muu Tsu asked the martial artist, pointing to the tall cylindrical device in the center of the room. "That device there is the largest and most powerful electron microscope in all of Japan. In fact, there are only two of them in all the world."
"Okay, man. Whatever," sighed the pigtailed boy as he decided that the bespeckled boy was beyond hope. The Daigakuin (Graduate student) continued her explanation of the genetic splicing.
"As I was saying, what we hope to see in these subjects is the combined physical traits of the species they originated from. We're a little pressed for time, so I won't go into express detail-"
"Thank God for that," muttered Ranma under his breath, earning him a sharp strike in the midsection from mallet-sama.
"-But suffice to say, there are several express traits we are looking to see," she continued. "For example, the ability to leap great distances, and the innate pre-cognition typical of certain species of spider that's been dubbed a kind of 'spider-sense,' to use the parlence of our times."
Suddenly, Muu Tsu turned and found himself next to a very confused and disgusted Ryoga. He was examining one of the cells that housed the species of spider that the genetic codes originated from.
"Eww," he said, watching the brown arachnid crawl across the vegetation contained within the terrarium.
"Hey, c'mon, they're pretty adept fighters, you know," commented the Chinese youth. "Some spiders can blend in with their surroundings, as a defense mechanism."
"Who would want to know that?" replied the lost boy, as he turned around and attempted to find Akane once more. He was sure to get her this time, if only that damned ocean didn't get in his way first.
After his one-time partner exited his presence, Muu Tsu returned to his previous stupor. The youth was just in awe in the possibilities that lay before him. However, as he snapped off a few extra photos, he noticed something awry.
"Uh, Ma'am? I only count 14."
"Excuse me?"
"There's only 14 spiders here. One's missing," the youth stated, earning him a disdaining stare from all over the room as the group proceeded to stare him down for speaking up. High above Muu Tsu's shoulder was, indeed, the AWOL subject blissfully spinning a web as is a spider's wont to do.
"Oh. So it is. One of the researchers must be using it this morning. Anyhow, moving on..." the aid replied, steering the group's attention elsewhere. Muu Tsu remained behind to watch the spiders in their glass cells. As he stood there, he noticed the ill-fated pair of Ranma and Akane closing in on the cells for a better look. The young man feared for their safety should the two start a fight and destroy years of research (what? You thought he feared for _Ranma's_ safety?). As he continued to snap off pictures, he could overhear what they were saying, however.
"Jeez, would'ya look at these things?"
"I know, eew!"
"Yeah, hateful little things, aren't they?"
"I love em!"
"Oh. I kinda like 'em, too," came back the martial artist lamely. The Tendo girl shot him a look that told him what she thought of his opinion and intelligence. Ranma cleared his throat and tried a different approach. "Um, did you know that this is the largest...microscope in the world?" he asked.
"No, really?" Akane asked, intrigued at this sudden turn of knowledgeability.
"Um, yeah. There's only two in the whole world like it."
"Great. Maybe they can use it to find your brain," she retorted. Ranma fumed and was about to say something when another voice spoke up from the opposite side of Akane.
"Umm...Spiders...Blend in...Defense mechanism...Hi..." studdered the poor lost boy as Muu Tsu could no longer contain his laughter. He brought his camera to capture the perfect kodak moment as two martial artists attempted to look intelligent for the same girl using snippets of the information he had imparted to them. He was around the third shot of Akane frowning when something bit him. Hard.
Dropping the camera, Muu Tsu grabbed his right hand in pain, watching as a tiny set of bite marks started to swell. The pain quickly subsided to a throb, as Muu Tsu grabbed his camera with one hand and placed an impromptu bandage on the other with his portable first aid kit. As he stood up, he head began to swim. Something told him all was not right.
****
Okay! Chapter one finished! I wanted to give a run-down of my writing style to those who have never read my stuff, and I wanted to establish (for myself mostly) what I really wanted to do here. My original idea was for, say Ranma to get bitten, but what's the fun in that? He's already superpowerful and besides, he's the super-stud of the series. The fun in Peter Parker is that he's the everygeek, the guy that luck has dealt a flat hand until now, thus the choice of handing the mantle to Mousse (or Muu Tsu, as I'm pronouncing it here).
I'm attempting to keep it close to the movie without attracting too many undue crossover elements. Don't expect principal Kuno to start flying around on an oversized coconut half with a mask. It's just not going to happen. I'll figure a more appropriate villan for Spider-Mousse to fight (no, that's not the moniker he's going to use, either!)
Okay, besides all that mess, R/R me so I'll know what you think! Chapter 2 should be on its way before the weekend. Thanks!
-Brother Ala, the Jukka Jikka man
Spider-MuuTsu
(or Muu Tsuu IS Spider-man!)
by
J. Carlson
Do you know who I am? You might want to think about how you want to answer that. The story of my life is not for the faint of heart.
If somebody told you my life was just fun and games, if someone just told you that I had not a care in the world, then somebody lied. You should kick that somebody square in the nuts, for me at least.
Truth is there's only one thing in my life that makes it all worth it. Xian Fu. She's right there, sitting on a bench waiting for her darling 'airen,' who's just about to round the corner. Now, I'd like to tell you that it's me; heck, I'd even take that guy he's carrying bound and gagged. Yeah, I know you see a black pig, but trust me, the fella's got a one-up on me, even. No, that's me right there, planted on the gritty pavement. The flavor's not as bad as you'd imagine; in my time, I've tasted many a nasty street surface and on a whole, Japanese streets rank fairly high on texture and palatability. Notice the subtle cracks in my glasses as she presses her heel into my forehead. My attempt at deftly leaping into her arms failed miserably when she planted a well-formed foot into my cranium. Without bothering to stand up, I might add.
The truth is, of all our little party of misfits, I fit in the least. Behind my back, I'm always 'duck-boy,' and it seems as though no one can say enough about my eyesight, as if it's something I can help. It all seems to be a kind of recurring bad sitcom formula: guy with bad eyesight grabs object he perceives to be the love of his life, while proclaiming at the top of his lungs his undying devotion. It's not my fault I was born with the depth perception granted a possum trying to avoid traffic on an interstate in a snowstorm. As for the rest...hey, we all have our little hangups.
I didn't come here to talk about me as a misfit, though; you wanted to know how that all changed. I guess that the best place to begin is when I got my new prescription. I was so amazed and dazzled by the new way I could see the world, that photography soon became my chief hobby. Of course in Japan, photography as a hobby is as common as the human need to breathe; its just normal.
What wasn't normal was that I actually started taking an interest in my own life about that time as well. I enrolled at Furikan high along with the rest of the rouge gallery, earning the place by teaching a class part-time helping out Chinese immigrant students adjust to their new home. Kind of like a JSL (Japanese as a second language). My function was often to provide guidance as the students went from class to class, and translation of the teacher's lecture. Occasionally, I got bored and took the translation into my own hands. The results were colorful and creative; I once took the liberty of changing enough of a lecture on the history of feudal Japan to make it sound like the teacher was on a Japanese superiority rant, almost causing an international incident.
That's not important, though; it's a living, and it has its perks. Xian Fu started going to school about the same time to get Saotome's attention. My presence allowed me to see her and remain inconspicuous. At this point in Nerima, just by showing up somewhere opens up for a conspiracy, as if you're going to start kidnaping fiancees and starting anything-goes tournaments on a whim. What really got my ball rolling was (waitaminute...that was a bad euphemism, wasn't it?) that I noticed Xian Fu having to hang close to my group, while pretending not to, to keep up with the rest of the class. The idea of her hanging on my every word thrilled me to no end, even if all I was saying was how to find the derivative of X.
After nearly half a semester of this (the events that led Shampoo to being enrolled in the first place were over spring break involving a bet, IQ levels, and jell-o. Long story), graduation began to creep up on us. This was strange for me, being that I already had the equivalent education, and I was feeling the same tensions all over again. I guess it was just contagious; maybe it was all because I felt I had something to prove to my Japanese counterparts, that I was just as studious as I was a martial artist. XF had jumped in to prove the same things, I think; her results were less then inspiring, however. This put a few pressures on me, all of which I really got into. I got a real hero complex when I realized that not only was she hanging on my words, but she depended on them. I took as many opportunities to explain difficult concepts as I could without running long in class. I wanted to do everything I could to make sure she got through it.
When the seniors took their college tours, I was with the group that had been assigned to the Nakomi Institute of Technology. I had eagerly anticipated the coming of that day for weeks; long had I been interested in the leaps in technology the world had made in the space of decades, when my own home in China had stayed so stagnant for eons. Just thinking about the magic of progression I would get to witness made me feel as though I were riding some great and powerful wave, taking me to paths unknown and futures unseen. Pretty trippy shit, I'd say.
The day started with average momentum. I enjoyed the early morning bucket of icewater alarmclock from elder Ko Lon, followed soon after by my usual gauntlet of abuse from both females. After my chores were complete, I was allowed a little freedom of movement for an hour or so. I decided to take the time to visit my good friend and physician Dr. Tofu. Friend, you ask? You actually expect me to live in Nerima long and not get to know the local medical services _intimately_? Dr. Tofu and I had gotten to be great friends over the many times I lay in one of his traction rooms. We swapped trade stories and tips; he just adored every story and myth about China I could remember. Big history nut, I guess.
Anyhow, I was eager to get out of the house that morning, sort to speak. I really had no particular reason for going over; just looking for someone to talk to, I guess. I breezed in the doors as happy-as-you-please though, the energy of the day's prospects undaunted by the morning ritual of ducklynching.
(You can probably tell I'm too long-winded for this to work, so I'll try and keep it to the action from here on out)
Muu Tsu swept through the entrance to the clinic, sliding on the soles of his shoes the last three or so feet. The twin glass doors closed neatly behind him as the Chinese youth turned to seek out his friend.
"Hey Doc, where are you?" he called out. A rustling sound in the rear of the clinic precluded his answer.
"Ohayo gozaimasu, Muu Tsu!" replied the Doctor. "I'm in the storage room, come on in."
"Sure," said Muu Tsu, striding the few steps it took to navigate past the waiting area and through the patient and research rooms Tofu had. It was a small clinic, but it serviced the ward just fine. He turned the corner to find Tofu on a footstool, replacing a lightbulb that had burnt out.
"Ah, there you are, my fine feathered friend," muttered the good Doctor in jest. Muu Tsu folded his arms in mock annoyance at Tofu's sense of humor.
"Sure you don't need any help, old man?" asked the Chinese youth with a smirk. "I'd hate to see you fall on your ass."
"Ha! You should know better; that's about the last thing that would happen to me. I have at least three things I'd try before my body would have time to contact the ground. I'm like a cat; I'd always land on my feet," replied Tofu. Muu Tsu shuddered involuntarily.
"Don't say the C-word around me, wouldya Doc?" he asked in a pleading tone. "I'm no Saotome, but I'm starting to get the real willies whenever Shampoo- neko decides to take out her aggressions on me as a scratching post."
"That's an image," chuckled the Doctor. "So, what brings you to my humble abode this early? Usually you're not up for the daily beating until at least six."
"Yeah, well, there's the big field trip to Nakomi Tech today, and that means around two hours of quality bus time going and coming. That leaves me with...fifteen good minutes of bullshitting with you," said Muu Tsu, checking his watch just to be sure.
"I'm honored."
"You should be, Doc; you're my only safe haven in this town. Ko Lon and Xian Fu have an absolute distaste for me personally and my gender as a whole, the Tendo/Saotome side of town suspect coming plagues in my wake, Hibiki doesn't trust me as far as he can throw me (which is pretty far, considering), and as far as Ukyo's concerned I don't even exist. Not that I care, of course," he finished quickly, making sure the wrong impression didn't come across.
"Don't worry; I figure you and our spatula-wielding warrior are just about the least compatible of our mix."
"Right behind XF?" quipped the young man.
"Yeah, I'd just about say," affirmed the doctor. "Oh, and your fifteen minutes? I'd get your watch checked; it's only five minutes till six."
"..."
"Yeah."
"...Gotta go," Muu Tsu exclaimed, eyes expanding to that of saucers as he turned and sprinted from the clinic at a fast clip. He knew the route to Furinkan by heart, but he knew that even at this point it would take much more then that to get him on that bus in time. Sure enough, as he crested the hill to bring him to the school's gates, he could just make out the silhouette of the yellow monstrosity pulling away from the curb.
"Hey! Waitup!" he exclaimed, pushing his body even further then he had before, desperate to catch the ride. When even that didn't work, he took to the fencetop as he had seen Saotome do on a daily basis. Using the fence as a rebound point, he leapt from the top and lashed out with a claw- tipped chain, snagging the roof of the bus and him along with it. Deploying a handy-dandy parasail (which he keeps on him for just such occasions), Muu Tsu caught the rest of the ride by air.
Arriving on the steps of the Nakomi Tech research facility, the students fanned out into their respective class groups. After managing a three- point landing (which he had been dreading for the last ten miles or so) Muu Tsu gathered his pieces of equipment together and restored them to their respective positions in neitherspace. He was briefly accosted by two muscle-bound Daigaku (college-students) who wished to know how he managed such a flight, and mentioned again and again how impressed they were. After narrowly escaping having to join some kind of motor club, Muu Tsu found his group and began the ascent to the front entrance.
Unseen by Muu Tsu was the arrival of a vintage 1948 Rolls Royce in the wake of the bus. Within, a conflict was brewing.
"Sasuke, could you pull up to the corner, please?"
"Wasamatta, keike? Yousa too embarrassed about da family dat you can't aeven beh seen wit' yo own fadda?"
"My family name is perfectly fine, along with my station. It's the fact I have a father that talks like Jar-Jar binks that has my undies in a bunch. Be seeing you," announced Tatewaki Kuno, age 19, as he promptly exited the vehicle and ascended the steps. Don't want them to think of me as a wierdo, with _that_ one running around.
Reaching the front entryway, Muu Tsu took caution when he caught sight of purple hair. He strode carefully forward, eager to not attract her attention today. He wanted the least amount of damage inflicted upon NIT as was possible. As he came near, she turned to him and smiled, shocking the youth to no end. The smile broadened as XF even waved, sending Muu Tsu into a world of joy. This world was short lived ultimately, as two girls he recognized to be Akane's two regular friends passed him and struck up a conversation with the Amazon. The tentative hand that Muu Tsu had almost returned the wave with scratched the back of his head in an attempt to hide his embarrassment. A voice from behind startled him out of his self- berating.
"Good marrow to you, sir. I trust that you and the other students had a safe journey?" spoke Kuno in the deepest flourish he could muster. Muu Tsu furrowed his brows and turned back toward the entrance, hoping to soon rid himself of the undesirable presence.
"Kuno, go away. You're a wierdo."
Dammit!
Upon entrance, the camera was out and clicking. Muu Tsu felt the fever upon him as he found shot after shot that he just _had_ to have. The projects were just so incredible, and the results they promised were just fantastic to him. The shutter on his Nikon nearly never stopped whirring as he spent his first roll and moved on to his second. The tour moved deep within the facility, soon coming to the main attraction of the visit: the genetics research laboratory. Muu Tsu hung on every word of the research aid as she gave a tour of the open-bay laboratory.
"Our facility has one of the nation's leading research programs on recombinant DNA and gene therapy" she said, as the tour moved through the lab complex. "Now, ladies and gentlemen, this is where some of the more advanced research is taking place. Thanks to a generous grant from The Stark Foundation, we are attempting to find a way to cure people with genetic diseases. If you will observe the video monitors, you will see a series of bio-isolation flasks where genetic experiments are done on several different species of spiders. Here, we are using synthesized transfer-RNA to recode the genome of the three species of spider, combining them to produce a kind of 'super-spider,' combining all of their physical traits.
She pointed to the monitors, where a colorful display was lighting up the room. "You can see the fifteen mutagenically activated spiders on the left, the fifteen control subjects on the right."
Muu Tsu was in a frenzy, eating up the information like so much manna from above. He was snapping pictures of the instruments like there was no tomorrow. A previously uninterested Ranma got close enough to give the Chinese youth a quick jab in the ribs.
"Hey, man; we've got a bad enough reputation as tourists already. Don't push it."
"Don't you find any of this exciting, Saotome? Take this for example," Muu Tsu asked the martial artist, pointing to the tall cylindrical device in the center of the room. "That device there is the largest and most powerful electron microscope in all of Japan. In fact, there are only two of them in all the world."
"Okay, man. Whatever," sighed the pigtailed boy as he decided that the bespeckled boy was beyond hope. The Daigakuin (Graduate student) continued her explanation of the genetic splicing.
"As I was saying, what we hope to see in these subjects is the combined physical traits of the species they originated from. We're a little pressed for time, so I won't go into express detail-"
"Thank God for that," muttered Ranma under his breath, earning him a sharp strike in the midsection from mallet-sama.
"-But suffice to say, there are several express traits we are looking to see," she continued. "For example, the ability to leap great distances, and the innate pre-cognition typical of certain species of spider that's been dubbed a kind of 'spider-sense,' to use the parlence of our times."
Suddenly, Muu Tsu turned and found himself next to a very confused and disgusted Ryoga. He was examining one of the cells that housed the species of spider that the genetic codes originated from.
"Eww," he said, watching the brown arachnid crawl across the vegetation contained within the terrarium.
"Hey, c'mon, they're pretty adept fighters, you know," commented the Chinese youth. "Some spiders can blend in with their surroundings, as a defense mechanism."
"Who would want to know that?" replied the lost boy, as he turned around and attempted to find Akane once more. He was sure to get her this time, if only that damned ocean didn't get in his way first.
After his one-time partner exited his presence, Muu Tsu returned to his previous stupor. The youth was just in awe in the possibilities that lay before him. However, as he snapped off a few extra photos, he noticed something awry.
"Uh, Ma'am? I only count 14."
"Excuse me?"
"There's only 14 spiders here. One's missing," the youth stated, earning him a disdaining stare from all over the room as the group proceeded to stare him down for speaking up. High above Muu Tsu's shoulder was, indeed, the AWOL subject blissfully spinning a web as is a spider's wont to do.
"Oh. So it is. One of the researchers must be using it this morning. Anyhow, moving on..." the aid replied, steering the group's attention elsewhere. Muu Tsu remained behind to watch the spiders in their glass cells. As he stood there, he noticed the ill-fated pair of Ranma and Akane closing in on the cells for a better look. The young man feared for their safety should the two start a fight and destroy years of research (what? You thought he feared for _Ranma's_ safety?). As he continued to snap off pictures, he could overhear what they were saying, however.
"Jeez, would'ya look at these things?"
"I know, eew!"
"Yeah, hateful little things, aren't they?"
"I love em!"
"Oh. I kinda like 'em, too," came back the martial artist lamely. The Tendo girl shot him a look that told him what she thought of his opinion and intelligence. Ranma cleared his throat and tried a different approach. "Um, did you know that this is the largest...microscope in the world?" he asked.
"No, really?" Akane asked, intrigued at this sudden turn of knowledgeability.
"Um, yeah. There's only two in the whole world like it."
"Great. Maybe they can use it to find your brain," she retorted. Ranma fumed and was about to say something when another voice spoke up from the opposite side of Akane.
"Umm...Spiders...Blend in...Defense mechanism...Hi..." studdered the poor lost boy as Muu Tsu could no longer contain his laughter. He brought his camera to capture the perfect kodak moment as two martial artists attempted to look intelligent for the same girl using snippets of the information he had imparted to them. He was around the third shot of Akane frowning when something bit him. Hard.
Dropping the camera, Muu Tsu grabbed his right hand in pain, watching as a tiny set of bite marks started to swell. The pain quickly subsided to a throb, as Muu Tsu grabbed his camera with one hand and placed an impromptu bandage on the other with his portable first aid kit. As he stood up, he head began to swim. Something told him all was not right.
****
Okay! Chapter one finished! I wanted to give a run-down of my writing style to those who have never read my stuff, and I wanted to establish (for myself mostly) what I really wanted to do here. My original idea was for, say Ranma to get bitten, but what's the fun in that? He's already superpowerful and besides, he's the super-stud of the series. The fun in Peter Parker is that he's the everygeek, the guy that luck has dealt a flat hand until now, thus the choice of handing the mantle to Mousse (or Muu Tsu, as I'm pronouncing it here).
I'm attempting to keep it close to the movie without attracting too many undue crossover elements. Don't expect principal Kuno to start flying around on an oversized coconut half with a mask. It's just not going to happen. I'll figure a more appropriate villan for Spider-Mousse to fight (no, that's not the moniker he's going to use, either!)
Okay, besides all that mess, R/R me so I'll know what you think! Chapter 2 should be on its way before the weekend. Thanks!
-Brother Ala, the Jukka Jikka man