"What did it feel like?" Finn's question was more abrupt than usual. Rey looked up from the Lightsaber in her hands to see Finn in the doorway to her pod. She frowned - she didn't remember hearing the doors slide open.
"What did what feel like?" she asked back. He smiled and took her response as permission to enter her room. The doors closed behind him, the sound familiar to Rey's ears. He came to sit beside her on the bed and the mattress caved gently beneath his weight.
"Meeting Luke Skywalker. How did it feel? Was it everything you imagined?"
Rey's hands twitched under the weight of the weapon in her hands. A cool air brushed against her cheek, as if Luke was whispering a final goodbye with the Force. She still couldn't believe that he was gone, and yet the realization wasn't as burdening as it should have been. Instead of grief, she felt an unexplained peace; a glittering in her heart and a rumbling in her soul.
"No," she said, more aware of the Lightsaber in her hands, "No, it wasn't like I'd imagined." She met Finn's gaze and was encouraged by the familiar brown of his face. This was their first time alone since their long-awaited reunion. Despite everything she'd been through since their last meeting, she still felt safe whenever he was near.
"How was it different?" he asked. Wordlessly he put a hand over hers and poked the cold metal cylinder she was holding. Something in Rey's throat constricted and she pulled the Lightsaber out of his reach. His hand fully enveloped hers, the comfortable warmth of it offering strength and assurance. Rey squeezed his hand and smiled at him, wishing that things could go back to how they used to be.
"Well for starters, he wasn't exactly pleased to see me," she said, with a laugh. "He was easily annoyed and stubborn. It was quite frustrating, really."
"Really? He was a lot like you, then. I'm surprised it didn't work out, better," Finn teased. Rey nudged his shoulder and then pulled her hand out of his, clearing her throat.
"And what about you? You made some new friends, I see." She was referring specifically to Rose, the girl he'd been so gentle with after she'd been brought to the med-bay. Apparently the girl had saved Finn's life, but the way Finn looked at her made it seem like it was something more than a simple rescue case.
"I had an adventure," Finn said, "I didn't even want it, but it wanted me."
Rey smiled again, but didn't let him change the subject. "That girl...Rose, was it? How did you two meet up?" Something pressed against her stomach and she shifted uncomfortably, waiting for Finn's answer.
"Rose..." Finn's voice went soft and the pressure in Rey's gut intensified.
"It's kind of a long story, actually," he said, and left it at that.
Rey's gaze went back to the Lightsaber and wished she hadn't breached the obviously tender subject. Rose had saved Finn's life, after-all. Rey could only guess that Finn had tried doing something selfless. He'd always put others before himself; always made sure that she was okay before worrying about himself. The thought of his concern and genuine way of caring for others created a gentle ache in her chest. Before Finn, she had been alone.
"Are you in love with her?" she dared, relieved to find that her voice sounded normal and not at all strangled like she felt. Finn shifted beside her and he scratched the back of his head.
"That's - does it look like that to you?" He asked, suddenly looking worried.
"You obviously care about her." Rey fiddled with a piece of hair that had fallen on her shoulder like a feather. Finn watched her silently for a minute and then shrugged his shoulders.
"I do care for her. Rose is someone special," he said. The pressure in Rey's stomach returned, this time accompanied by a sharp twinge in her heart.
"But," Finn continued, "she's not you, Rey."
Rey blinked and a flurry of butterflies released themselves inside her. She suppressed the feeling and waited patiently for Finn to explain.
"I don't know why, but it's not the same. I like Rose, I really do. But I think I see her as more of a sister than anything."
"I see." Rey wasn't sure why his confession gave her such relief. She didn't even know why it held such importance to her in the first place, but she decided not to try and work those feelings out. At least not now, not after everything that had happened.
"She told me that she loves me, but I don't think it's me she's in love with. I think she's more in love with the idea of me." Finn said. Rey raised an eyebrow.
"The idea of you?" she asked. Finn nodded.
"Yeah, when we first met she acted like I was some sort of star. Like I was a hero. But I'm not. She felt that she was in love with me ever since we first met, and she didn't even know me, then."
"Well, I'm sure she has a different reason to love you, now," Rey said. She gave him a small smile, "You are a hero, Finn."
"I tried to run away. I wanted to find you and get away from the war," Finn admitted, looking away from her. Rey took his hand again.
"You didn't, though," she said.
"Only because Rose stopped me."
Rey frowned and was reminded of the way Luke had pushed her away. "Sometimes the greatest heroes try to run away," she whispered.
Finn went quiet and she knew he understood who she was talking about. Luke was legendary. He was powerful and had helped to save the universe from great pain. But when he had made a crucial mistake he had run away from both the consequences and the chance to redeem himself. He had hidden himself where no one could find him and ended all contact with the rest of the planets, until he was nothing more than a fond memory.
"That's different," Finn protested, "Luke Skywalker was a different sort of hero. He had a reason to leave, and in the end he came back. He was strong."
"No, Finn, he wasn't. Because he left when he could have stayed. He ran away, and unlike you, he waited until the balance of good and evil hung on a thread to return. He made a mistake and it almost ruined him. You made a mistake and it made you strong. You are the different sort of hero."
Finn smiled at her then, and they sat together with nothing but the thudding of her heart to pierce through the sudden quiet. She returned the smile and then gave him a hug. His large arms wrapped around her and this time, instead of Finn lending Rey his strength, she lent him hers.