Jealous
AN: First fanfiction in years. Please be kind. And review.
This story is set after the famous four words. The queen hasn't been murdered. Rose has been avoiding Adrian since the raid. The age law hasn't happened yet.
Rose POV
Love Fades, Mine Has.
His guardians said nothing their mask firmly in place. Seeing without seeing. His eyes seemed to burn with regret as soon as the words passed his lips. Regret for what? For all things he did as a strigori? For the verbal slap I'm sure my face held? Regret he was ever being involved with me? He had made no move to comfort me, turning his body away, and eyes scanning the crowd ahead before glancing to me. He had seemed surprised that I didn't lash out as I was usually doing when he denied himself lately. I stood abruptly and sprinted out the chapel, refusing to let him see my traitorous tears leap from my cheeks. Turning my back on the man I loved.
On autopilot I found myself over what seemed like lifetimes in my room sobbing into a ball on my bed. Sometimes I'd sense Lissa searching for me and I'd hastily leave. I'd occupy myself by running the perimeter of court or sitting in one of the gardens. I didn't want anyone's pity. Our little squabble at the church had defiantly caught notice of the attendees in the back. No one seemed to know what exactly had happened but it didn't stop the rumors, whispers and glances I seemed to get. Hans hadn't called me for filing work or hard labor since the raid. My punishment for "partying it up with Lissa" either over or maybe the raid made him realize that I was indeed a waste of talent in an administrator position. I could really use the distraction from him now though. I could only imagine Han's expression if I showed up in one of the record rooms and started sorting. He'd probably croak right on spot. Rose Hathaway on time and willing to sit behind a desk without muttering or counting down the hours till lunch. Hell must be freezing over. Lissa's thoughts would turn to me sometimes invading my mind with Him. Yes I still wanted to make sure he was going to be ok but every update I could feel my soul shatter more and more.
Rose? Where are you? I know you went to see Dimitri at the chapel! I told you he needs time. Getting him all riled up front of all those witnesses could have set him back. I'm sorry but you can't keep pressing him. Yes, he's a dhampir. But the scars on his soul aren't going to disappear.
The queen has had tests performed on him almost around the clock. He still has to have at least one Guardian with him at all times but from the looks of it she's going to declare he's not a threat.
The matter of spirit has gathered attention all over the Moroi world. Talks have started about saving others who turned unwillingly. Talks about saving our race and neutralizing the stigori threat once and for all. We both know the miracles and undiscovered abilities of spirt are a gift with a price…The queen wants to research more about spirit abilities even track the last known whereabouts of Spirit users like Ms. Karp and Avery.
Please come to my room….?
Where are you? I'm going to be visiting Dimitri tomorrow if you want to come. Just don't expect so much too soon. He'll never be the same but he will recover from this. I know this is asking a lot but Tasha has been talking to him too. She wants to celebrate his return, I want you to come. I know Dimitri doesn't exactly feel festive but I think anything to distract him for furthering more into himself would help. Maybe something normal like dinner will help him remember who he is inside. Not the one he had no control over. It wasn't him. Meet me? Adrian is also looking for you. Rose!
Crap! Adrian! I'm the worst girlfriend on the planet. I hadn't even made time or thought of him much since before the raid. How long has it been?! Days? A week? I was currently sitting on a bench in one of the gardens on the edge of a small glittering pond across court. The sun was starting to rise painting the horizon aglow with orange, pink and yellow rays that chased away the dark blues. It was moroi late night. Most were already in bed except the royal partying Moroi, whose parents were out of town leaving them with an empty house and unlimited credit cards, and Guardians going on and off shift. Once the sun came up the moroi court became a ghost town.
I was going to start looking for Adrian when returning to my room. I didn't have to look long; he was sitting in the lobby of my building. Slouched over in comfy looking recliner, hair a mess, and clothes wrinkled. His green eyes with faint shadows underneath instantly snapped up to my brown ones. The faint smell of alcohol reached my nose.
"Your vices?" I spoke quipped. Suddenly upset he wasn't keeping his side of our agreement.
"Little Dhampir. It's been quite some time. I was beginning to think you've been avoiding me. But that's not it. Is it? You've just forgot you had a boyfriend who has been worried sick about you since you left to kill you precious cradle robber who had kidnapped your best friend and her boyfriend. But you have seemed to make time to visit him in jail, plead his case, and make him blow up in church."
"Adrian!" I began but suddenly he was up from his chair, body pressed against me, face inches from mine, eyes flashing with worry, anger, and jealousy.
"I spent that first day after the raid helping the wounded. It's from the guardians, gossiping royals, and my aunt that I heard about what happened in that warehouse. It worked. Dimitri was changed back into a dhampir right."
He phrased it like a statement but I slowly nodded anyway.
"I haven't seen him yet. Not really only from a distance. But in the short time he's been back you have spent time pining over him. Practically throwing yourself meanwhile avoiding me and canceling without as much as text! You told me he wouldn't change things, that id have a fair chance. But it's him isn't it? I'm such a fool, I saw but I chose to ignore the signs…" he said exhaustion blanketing his words.
"I'm so sorry Adrian. I love you, I do. I want us to work-". I rushed out. His sharp look cut me off. Jade meeting brown.
"Rose. You can say anything but your aura doesn't lie. Yes I've had a drink to chase away some of Spirit's darkness. But I don't need to be a spirit user to see it's always been him. You never fully gave me the chance. I love you little dhampir but I can't do this anymore. I can't lie to myself."
Forehead touching mine, lips a breath away. His true emotions played across his face. Anger. Love. Bitterness. Unfiltered Pain. It was a side of him he kept hidden, furthering his reputation as a royal playboy. Slowly he leaned forward meeting my lips in a passionate, slow, and hot kiss. He broke away and leaned close whispering in my ear.
"I loved you. I wish I could say let's be friends but right now I hope you feel every ounce of pain you cause me. I hope you are miserable. Goodbye Rose."
With that he stood straight up and walked briskly out the lobby doors. I stood frozen for a second. Tears slowly running to down I called after him "I already am and it can't get any worse."
The next day I was on my way to meet Lissa, albeit running late. But hey leaving my cave at all had to be seen as an improvement. I pulled myself into her head to see what exactly I would be walking into. I wasn't prepared for what I saw. Lissa, Christian, Mikhail, Eddie, Dimitri, Mia and Tasha were all in what I assumed was Tasha's Suite at dinner. The scene looked too nice to be a dhampirs and I already knew what Mia and Lissa's places at court looked like. They were all seated at a long rectangle table covered in a red table cloth, candles lit, and platters lay out. Eddie and Mikhail sat at both ends. Christian, Lissa and Mia sat on one side. Tasha and Dimitri sat on another. One chair remained empty.
"I guess she's not coming. Rose?" Lissa's whispers came through the bond.
"Maybe that for the best, Princess." Mikhail said eyes quickly flickering to Dimitri and Tasha. Unnoticed by all except her and Eddie. Dimitri had a long sleeve dark shirt that fit exceptionally well. His biceps and chest clearly testing the fabrics flexibility. His hair was pulled back into a small ponytail on the nape of his neck. He was in conversation with Tasha. There was a small smile on his lips. Making him look more like my Dimitri more than ever.
I froze mid step. I watched as Tasha and Dimitri shared a bottle of wine. Mikhail had some kind of cider and everyone else with varying non alcoholics. They rose their glasses to clink against one another's and toasted.
'To Dimitri, welcome back" Tasha announced. Tasha hand wrapped around Dimitri's side giving him a small squeeze. One he didn't pull away from. Lissa looked on with a frown that was the only give away at her emotions before a polite smile graced her lips. Eddie and Mikhail just raised their glasses thanking Tasha for inviting them. Mia smiled and Christian started digging in.
"So Dimka did you think about my offer?" Tasha asked face glowing.
"I have. I don't know Tasha. I'm doing better but I need time. Maybe a change of scenery would help my recovery. But for now the Princess is my priority. I owe her everything for saving me. Besides I don't know what will happen in the future. The queen hasn't made any decisions yet." Dimitri answered thoughtfully. His expression was a mask I knew too well, but his eyes showed his pain. His guilt. Then his gratefulness and awe for Lissa.
"Take your time and think of all your options. I know they haven't given you a real room yet since lightening your guard and this is a big suite with plenty of room. You'd even be closer to Lissa here. I don't mind if you need to stay while things get worked out" Tasha said coyly. The double meaning was clear to me and everyone.
He opened his mouth to reply but I pulled out of Lissa's head immediately. Afraid to hear his reply. Is he going staying with Tasha at her suite? Has he moved on?
Overcoming my shock I turned and ran into the nearest building before any passersby's see my breakdown. Finding a restroom I let the sobs pour out of me. An hour or 2 passed as I gathered the strength to leave. Looking around I realized I was in a recreational build of sorts. Lounges filled the hallway. A janitor was taking out trash as he passed as I asked what this building was. The old rec building for moroi/dhampirs but they built a new one closer to the center of court so this one was hardly used. Maybe just an occasional guardian walking the ground would pass though and leave as quickly.
Walking into the lounge at the end of the hall I found a grand piano, a table with cards, pool and some TVs lining the edges of the room with plush couches. Even a small snack bar was in the back. On one side of the room wall of glass facing the center of court giving a glimpse of the outside world. Some of the other lounges held a dance hall and a small training room.
This place was quiet, secluded, and full of distractions. I could escape from the stares, whispers, and rumors. Here I wouldn't need to fake smiles or worry about anyone tracking me down. Sitting down in the last lounge I thought about everything with Dimitri. Like that Adrian's wish came true. Seeing Dimitri slowly ease back into life, a life he didn't want with me was tearing me apart. Thoughts of a life he could want with someone else was like a hundred silver stakes piercing my heart. And like that I closed off myself off, becoming an empty shell. I would never let anyone get close to me again. I'd do my duty as a guardian if they reinstated me, and lay down my life if fate asked for it. In this hidden treasure, I decided this lounge would become my sanctuary. The only place it would be safe for me bear my heart. I didn't want to see Lissa's pity, Mikhail's understanding, or Eddie's knowing looks.
It was starting to brighten a little outside. Late night again. I stood and returned to my room vowing to visit this abandoned and forgotten room soon.
AN: Before yall kill me this is a romitri. Adrian will be back next chapter. Bear with me. This chapter was a lot of setting the plot. Next chapters will make up for the douche bag guys. Dont forget to Review