Declaimer: don't own Kai or Tala, or the song Walk Away by Mad at Gravity.
My fist one shot yaoi so be nice. It's a bit one sided though, but yeah. Anyways hope you enjoy.
Icy flakes of snow fluttered from the sky to create a sheet of white across the land. It was chilly, a bitter cold breeze rustled through the snow covered trees. Scattering more flakes of frosty water across the earth.
I sat alone under a dieing tree as I stared intently at a darkening grey sky.
Find me…
I'm falling…
And fooling myself that it's flight
What have we become? I asked myself, I focused my sight on a single snowflake and watched it drift to the ground.
Hollow beings with no soul, nothing to live for, my eyes swept across the barren wasteland of ice and snow.
Imperfect,
I plummet
And ponder
Pushed away on principle
We are emotionless, yet I contain feelings for you, is that wrong, do you hold the same thoughts as I do? Leaning back I leant against the thick trunk of the tree, craning my neck I looked up into the snow covered branches. A fierce blast of wind shook flakes of snow free, they spiralled and twirled seemingly dancing on the wind as they floated down.
I'd been acting differently towards you lately, yet you can't figure out why, you asked me once, but I didn't answer.
A second figure stood alone, atop a small hill watching the person below against the tree, ice blue orbs glanced to the heavens one last time before he headed down to meet the other.
I heard the sound of someone walking in the snow nearby,
"Kai"
You spoke my name, I turned looking up I stared into your pale face, and hardened blue eyes stared down at me,
"Tala"
"What are you doing?" you asked as you sat down beside me,
"Nothing" was my simple reply.
Forfeit
My future
For feelings of few far betweens
Mindless
Of merciful measures
Making ends pre-empt the means
We sat in silence watching the snowfall, the crystallized water being swept across the horizon.
"Tala" I spoke, and you turned towards me,
"Can I ask you something?"
"Sure" you watched me with interest, your blue eyes fixed on my face.
"Do you think they're still there?" you frowned not understanding the question,
"Are what still there?"
"Our emotions" I kept my gaze trained on the sky,
"No not really, why" your answer was not want I wanted to hear but what I figured I'd get,
"No reason" I shifted my sight to the white coated earth,
"No there's something, now what is it?" your tone was firm, you would get your answer. I let out a sigh before speaking, I turned towards you,
"It's just…I" I paused unsure of how to word what I wanted to say, you had merely raised your eyebrows
"Just say it Kai, don't try to word it in some special way"
"I…have feelings for you," I mumbled under my breath, but your keen hearing picked up each word,
"And well, do you feel the same, can our friendship run any deeper"
You stared shocked at me,
"Well…Tala" your expression turned back to one of stone, my fierce crimson orbs locked with your hard blue ones.
And I searched your eyes for an answer
And shuddered at what I found there
As my skin shrunk away from conclusion
That you lack the strength to care
I noted the look on your face, one of indifference, that look that blocks out everyone, to not let them know what you thought. I realized the mistake I had made, you didn't know, you couldn't. You had already told me that you were lost to any emotions, so why wasn't I? It was then that a thought struck me, had you lied? Did you really still feel, but just not for me, had you known what I wanted to ask, and therefore lied about your emotions to get out of it. I wasn't to know.
You stood,
"Tala"
"Forget it Kai" your voice held an iciness that I hadn't heard before, I stood as well, I searched your eyes but saw nothing, you knew how to block out the world, to stop people from looking into your soul.
Is this the way it has to be?
That you would turn your back on me
And you and I should walk away!
You turned, and began to walk off,
"Tala wait!" I shouted after you, but you didn't stop you ignored me,
I knew there was no way of reaching you, you were lost for the mean time. I thought of how angry you made me at times, but I still cared so much for you. Suddenly you stopped, were you thinking of changing your mind, I wasn't about to let you. I turned and walked off,
"Kai" you shouted my name but I wasn't going to respond, you had your chance, I still loved you but you weren't worth it now. To question your feelings now would mean you'd question them again in the future, and I wasn't about to let you hurt me emotionally. Your window of opportunity had come and gone, a normal person would jump at the though that the person they loved now shared the same feelings, but I'm not normal.
"Kai please" you ran to catch up with me, but I ignored you, my sight trained on what was ahead of me,
"Kai listen" you shot, grabbing my should you spun me around to face you,
"No, you listen, I asked you if you cared for me, and you said no, you can't just go and change your mind"
"But…"
"No, if you have feelings for me now, then you lied, you lied to me. I still love you, but this isn't about my feelings, it's about yours. But you obversely have none"
"Kai I need to think…"
"No you don't, you hesitated, I don't want hesitations in my life, I want certainties and you can't give me any" I paused for a moment
"You're not worth the effort if this is how things are going to be" I stopped, I was furious at you, how could you so suddenly change your mind, it wasn't right and I didn't want to risk anything. I glared at you, my face set in stone, and I noted a similar look on your face. We were so alike yet so different. You said nothing, but I caught the quick flash of sadness across your face, you turned and began to walk away.
Walk away and I stare
Would you stand me up again?
Wonder if I've said too much
And we'll never speak again
Never speak again
Never speak again
I watched you leave, I felt empty inside, like something I cared for had been replaced but then fiercely ripped away again. And I realized for the second time that day the mistake I had made, but there was no going back, I regretted what I had said wishing I could take it back. You were gone now, there was nothing I could do. I suppose I should have said yes to you, let you have me, for I know how much I want you. It was a mistake to let you leave. I realized that we would probably never speak again, never look at each other again. I hated myself for it.
I turned and left. Icy flakes of snow fluttered from the grey sky, bitter cold wind sliced through the air sending an icy chill down my spine, the temperature had dropped considerably, the snow fell in heavy sheets and I felt lost to the world. A hollow being with no soul.
Well not too sure how that went, so tell me what you think. I'd love to here back from you all.