Today started off like any other normal day. But it wasn't.

I was pushing some kid against a locker, forcing them to say sorry to me, and shower me with compliments, like usual, when Carly interrupted the lovely session by pulling me away by my hair. It never fails.

She was just a tiny bit mad. See, the thing is, she took the blame for something that I did. (What else is new?) All I did was photoshop my teacher's head onto a rhinoceros' body. It was really quite funny, I should add one of the posters in here somewhere. Anyway, before I get too carried away…

Carly is a really good friend, even though I had to beg her to do this for me. She took the blame because I'd already gotten suspended that semester (shocker, right?), and if I did get in trouble again, I would've gotten expelled. I'm listening to the usual lecture about trying to stop doing bad things, I'm pretty sure I have this so memorised that I can recite it in my sleep.

As a punishment, we both had to spend our Saturday night at the school, taping auditions for the school talent show. That was probably the worst possible punishment, but I didn't really have the option of skipping out on it. I mean, Carly did take the fall for me, so the least I could do was suffer with her. (I just realized how weird and unlike me that was, I must've felt really bad, because I wouldn't normally agree to something like that.)

Carly does her usual thing, saying that another other person would probably punch me in the head, and questions why I'm her best friend. I usually say it's because I'm such a lovable person, which is totally true. Just ask that kid I pushed into the lockers that day. He will have plenty of nice things to say about me (and no, I didn't pay him).

So I show up, and the doof is there. I guess I should call him Fredork or something. The only things you need to know about him is that he is super nerdy, and he has the biggest crush on Carly. I mean, the kid is whipped. He made her a bagel and everything. (I ended up eating it, it was actually pretty good.)

Fredork was talking all his nerdy camera and technology stuff, so I just pretended he was talking about ham. It didn't work very well, and it only ended up making me hungry, (which is why I ate the bagel). Anyway, there's a trick to getting him to shut up, and all you basically have to do is tell him that Carly will never love him. Works like a charm.

We ended up watching a bunch of horrible auditions. There was some guy reenacting a french play (and he was playing both the characters himself), some girl that was playing an instrument that I can't even be bothered to know the name of, and some guy in a yellow tunic doing some time of dance which consists of stretching. (Let me tell you, I saw some things I could've gone on living happily without seeing.)

The first girl that caught our attention was some girl who was playing the trumpet while hopping on a pogo stick. Then there was some guy with a weird sense of humor, or none at all. I still can't figure it out. The night was just dragging on, and we noticed the boy's similiarties to Miss Briggs. The only thing missing was the pointy boobs. (If that boy were to have the pointy boobs, I think he'd be a perfect match for Fredork.) So we launched into a huge conversation about pointy boobs, which actually helped pass the time. (Thanks, Miss Briggs.)

Sadly, afer the boob talk, we had to go back to watching auditions. There was some weird guy who thought he could beatbox, but in all honestly, I had no idea what I was watching. I actually fell asleep at that point, and I'm still wondering what happened after that, because the next thing I remember is waking up at Carly's house. (There is nothing better than waking up to Carly's feet pretty much in your mouth.)

Carly told Miss Briggs that we'd upload the video onto Splash Face, so she could check them out. What we didn't expect, is Fredork filming the pointy boobs conversation and uploading that video. (That dork can't do anything right. I swear, the next time I see him…) Only 27,000 people saw the video, no big deal.

I'm really proud of what I did after this. I ran to Fredork's apartment past midnight, and dragged his scrawny pajamad (I think I just made that word up) butt to Carly's apartment by his feet. (It was probably the highlight of my day. He sounds so girly when he screams.)

Doofus sucks so badly that he could only have the video removed by the next morning. (Seriously, I don't even know why he tries.) He did read some of the comments left on the video, though, and people actually thought we were funny. (I mean, I knew I was funny, but…)

The next day, we told Miss Briggs we had trouble uploading it online and gave her a CD with all the auditions, but it turned out she already saw the video of us making fun of her boobs. She told us she wouldn't let any of the kids we picked be in the show. (I think it's because she's old, and she has no idea what entertainment really is.)

This really ticked Carly off, and she came up with the idea about making our own web show, so we could have and say whatever we wanted on the show. I didn't agree to doing any of the work, I just said I would show up and be the pretty sidekick. (Besides, I've never done homework, so how do you expect me to do any other kind of work?)

Fredork, being himself, suggested that we name the show iCarly, and I agreed. (Only because if something went wrong or we ended up getting in trouble for it, the show was in Carly's name.) And sadly, Fredork has to be our geek because we need someone to work a camera. I need to find someone to take over his job, and fast. He's horrible. He took a piece of my ham.

Our first web show went pretty well. It featured all the kids we thought had the best auditions for the talent show, that Miss Briggs wouldn't accept. We even had a kid that could squirt milk out of his eyes. (I want to marry him.) We also had a contorsonist, but she looked like something out of the Exorcist, and actually freaked me out a little. There was also this one guy that can take any word you say and repeat it back to you backwards. It's actually pretty cool. Of course, the last person we had on the webshow was the girl that could play the trumpet and hop on a pogo stick. (I still don't understand how she does it. The only thing I can do well is eat.)

Turns our we got over 37,000 hits on our first web show. I may have, in the heat of the moment, hugged Fredork. (In my defense, it was a group hug, so I'm just going to pretend it doesn't count. Okay? Okay.)

To celebrate the web show, we ended up having a crazy hat party. Today was a pretty good day. (Besides Fredork, obviously.)