A ridiculous one-shot only my mind seemed to think of.
Summary: Tala begins to think about Kai. He began to believe it was wrong. Someone who could make thoughts like that possible had to be punished. He had snapped. The built up of Boris, the Abbey, his parents, and now his belief of Kai being like a brother had led him to this.
WARNING: This story will follow Tala's novel closer than anything, and it doesn't really follow that show. I just wanted to write this little messed up piece to see how people like the writing when it's not romance. Ha. Tala's novel is owned by Takao Akoi. I don't own anything but the story line, well some of it.
Sinner
The redhead stood over his friend. His best friend, in whom he was raised to believe it, was his brother. No one had told him to think that way. No one had told him it was okay. He wasn't even sure if he had made justice. He was wrong, someone like that boy, that brother of his, like that guy he knew, it just wasn't right to let it go unpunished. Maybe he had gone crazy. Maybe the B.I.O.V.O.L.T. was his home; he was supposed to be there. Maybe Boris had demented his mind with these perverted and impure thoughts.
It all started a long time ago. Tala was small when he came to the Abbey. His parents had fought a lot. His father was an abusive alcoholic, and his mother left him with the angry drunkard. He had always loved his mother but never fully understood why she left. Now that left him and his father. Not too long after his mother left he had run away. Surely his mother wouldn't be mad; his father would probably kill him after her leaving. He had found Bryan on the streets and they had similar reasons for running, but that was when it all got worse than not running away could have. Boris Balkov found them, he took them in and they thought he was great.
A free place to live, other kids, free food, and all he asked in return was to train. Tala didn't know why it was him Boris chose. Maybe it was how obedient he was, or how eager. Tala knew talked about it, it was most of the reason the rest of his life he'd spend on revenge and being confused. He had already known memories could haunt you and how painful they could be but his memory made him want to just kill himself. Why was he always so docile?
Then Kai came into his life. He had favored Kai over the others. Sadly, Kai didn't favor him, he was focused on perfection. He wanted to destroy, and win. So Tala decided the only way to get the attention he wanted would be to become better than everyone himself. He was even more focused. But that was when the worst thing had happened. He stood in the bathroom staring in the mirror, he looked terrified. Busted lip, cut cheek on the other side of his face. His ribs, his lower back, arms, and knees hurt badly. Just everything felt filthy and wrong.
"You're stupid." He thought to himself in the mirror. "You actually thought he cared, you thought there was nothing wrong with it, you thought it was okay!" He was scolding himself. He didn't know he hurt himself more mentally or Boris did. "But looked what happened now, you're screwed! You're a failure, you're disgusting, worthless, and mean nothing to anyone! Now imagine if Bryan saw you or knew!"
He stood leaning against the mirror holding his face wiping tears away, finger by finger in a shaky liquid movement. Each finger that went by the more tears would come out. He slid down the mirror that stood as tall as him. He weaved his fingers in his loose red hair. It was down to hang to his shoulders. Face red from crying and body aching from what had happened. "Tala, are you in there?" It was Boris.
Tala stood up quickly straightening his pajamas shakily. He brushed his hair with his fingers quickly and tried to get rid of the redness and tears. Being in such a shape would only get him in a worse condition. If he had gotten that for absolutely nothing, imagine what Boris would do if he did do something. "Yes, sir." He stated confidently. The door opened, the tall, fully grown purple haired man stood in front of him. The man sickened him, he scared him. He wanted to break down and cry, or run, but his fear of consequence kept him standing straight with a blank face and clear eyes.
"You had better get to bed." Balkov spoke with an underhanded smirk. Tala felt a pulling in his throat so he swallowed. He felt Boris' eyes on him he could probably red Tala instantly, he was crying, he was scared and he was sick to his stomach, not to mention the pain in his body that kept him from being uncouth that moment after what had happened he felt he had a right.
"Yes sir, right away." The redhead nodded keeping slight eye contact. Boris smiled again, he did like how submissive Tala always acted even though Tala felt a need to break the rules at that moment. But Balkov knew that if anyone would let him push it, Tala would be that one.
Tala's eyes dropped to the floor as Boris ran his fingers through Tala's hair. He was a creeper. He was disgusting. He was a sinner, and a trickster. And because Tala let Boris be those things, he was too. "Be on your way." Boris waved Tala out of the bathroom. And Tala slowly exited, he ran past the bed, out of the bedroom. Once out of Boris' quarters and the door was safely shut behind him he started to run.
"Sick, disgusting, pathetic, weak," Tala started to shout at himself in his head. It was the only way he could assure himself it was okay to let it happen. All sinners, all wrong doers must be punished, or so he was taught and raised to think so. He wasn't allowed to ask questions either, so he had no idea why that punishment rule didn't apply to Boris but he had a good idea why it didn't.
"Ivanov," A familiar voice called to the redhead after he ran past the training rooms. "Wait," The voice was chasing him. It scared him, so he ran faster. He didn't care if he were to get punished later as long as he got away now. "Wait, what's wrong?"
At that question he stopped. He only knew a student here would ask him that. Any other person would yell at him for being out so late past curfew. He stopped to see a blue haired boy with a worried look. "Kai, it's nothing. Don't worry about me, nothing happened." He was too panicked to hide any feeling of what he was feeling when he was running. It was all still too fresh and still too wrong.
Kai walked over to Tala and pushed him forward to keep walking the way Tala was running, to the student sleeping quarters. "I don't buy that." Kai stated shaking his head at his friend, if that's what they'd allow themselves to be called, which wasn't likely. "Bryan said you've been staying out late, with Boris."
The name had stabbed the Russian. He took off running again. He couldn't talk about it, he couldn't talk about Boris. In fact just the name made him want to freak-out. He got to the sleeping quarters. Since his 'relationship' with Boris, Tala had been treated well during training and with what he wanted. But the more he was allowed to do the worse the nights got. "I hate you. I hate him." Tala fell as soon as he got into his Bryan, Spencer, Ian, and Kai's room.
"Why'd you run?" A voice hissed from the still open door. "I just said you were out with Boris. Then you ran did I do something?" The name killed Tala. He started crying again. It was pitch-black, Kai couldn't tell as long as he was quiet about it. Hiwatari closed the door. He sat down on the floor by Tala. They sat quiet for a minute.
Tala just kept letting silent tears fall. He had to be tough. Being a sissy in front of anyone was a weakness; they'd use it against you or rub it in your face. He cleared his throat and spoke clearly, "I'm sorry, just didn't want to get caught."
Kai's hand miraculously found Tala's face. It was pushed against tears, now Kai knew. "No," The Bluenette pulled Tala to sit up straight. "What the hell does he do to you?"
Tala felt disturbingly comfortable being close to Kai. "Nothing," He stated with a muffled voice because of crying. "I just did something bad, got what I deserved." He lied because he did nothing wrong, but apparently it was what he deserved.
"You didn't do anything." Kai spoke, grabbing Tala's face to make him look at him. Kai's eyes must adjust to the darkness faster than Tala's because he could see and Tala didn't even know where he was looking. Plus his eyes were full of tears. "He's just a-" Kai started and couldn't find anything to say.
Tala fell into Kai. He was off balance. He was in pain and felt very disgusting plus crying always screwed with his balance and perception. "Sorry, I'm not sure what you're talking about."
"Yes, you do."
"Don't tell anybody, I've tried so hard to keep it to myself. Don't tell, please." The Russian plead to the solid figure in front of him. He couldn't tell where he was, he had no idea if he was on the floor, Kai's lap, chest or on a chair? He didn't know until Kai pulled him into a hug. It was surprisingly comforting.
"I won't tell. To assure you, I'll tell you something I haven't told anyone." Kai couldn't help but smile at how easy it was to calm Tala down. Now that the redhead was focused on talking to Kai he had less of a mind to focus on what Boris did. "He did it to me too." It felt nice to tell someone, like he wasn't so distant from everyone. "Not a much as you but a few times until I decided to take a disobedient beating instead of that again."
Tala gripped on Kai's clothes. "He took me in; he took Bryan in too, with me." Tala's voice was starting to crack and fade with the crying. "He says I owe it to him sometimes. And once he threatened to kick Bryan and me out. He can kick me out, but I can't do that to Bryan. Boris gave Bryan and I hope, and I can't let that be taken away from Bryan."
"He wouldn't." Kai told Tala sternly. Like it was a fact, but Kai had no idea how low Boris could go. "I couldn't see him doing that."
"I could." Tala thought of it all again. "Disgusting, you're filthy, you're the scum that even bottom feeders wouldn't eat. And you'll only go lower from there."
Tala and Kai talked every night that Tala had to see Boris. Kai was always there to calm him down. About a year later Kai and Tala had graduated. Free from the clutches of Boris and the others. Tala stupidly joined the Demolition boys and Kai ventured on to Japan. Living in old warehouses that were abandoned and started a team called the blade sharks. He had blocked the whole past. Everything about Russia, even Tala.
That was when Tala realized he was more alone than ever, Bryan had changed into what Boris wanted and so did the others. He was captain, but he was also unhappy with what was going on, he should've taken the trip with Kai. That was when Kai had come back. He wasn't Kai though, Tala didn't know this Kai. And he knew Kai didn't remember him. Boris had rubbed that in his face, all of their faces. Kai had friends that would do anything for him. Kai had Black Danzer too; he wouldn't know Tala even though he knew the Abbey.
So a few more years passed when Tala had finally gotten rid of Boris for good and made a team of his own. The Blitzkrieg boys, meaning fast war boys. He was so sure Kai would come back, to face Tyson. When Kai did, Tala was even more certain that they would win the tournament. But it was about a week before the tournament that Tala had noticed something weird. Kai was like his brother, yet he had the urge to think of him as something more.
"What're you looking at?" Kai glared at Tala from a cross the room. It was just the two of them. Tala just stared amazed, thinking not realizing Kai looked back and talking. "Tala, what are you looking at?" Kai asked with more force.
This snapped the Russian out of his trance. "Oh, I'm sorry." He said looking down at the floor by his foot. "I was just wondering," Tala started and shook his head. He didn't really understand what was wrong with him. He felt fine, but his mind was all scrambled and panicked. He wanted Kai to remember him, remember even the bad things.
"Ivanov, don't start, tell me now." The Japanese boy demanded glaring at his teammate. Tala shook his head. Kai got up and walked over to the other side of the room and grinned. He took in a deep breath and spoke quietly and clearly next to Tala's ear, "Yes, I remember."
The redhead's eyes snapped to look at Kai's face. "Why didn't you say anything?"
"What do you want me to say?" Kai yelled at the question he thought was stupid. "Hey, Tala, I remember our lovely childhood, how's Boris?" Now the bluenette was intentionally being mean. He wanted to hurt Tala, make him remember the pain and never bring it up again. The truth was Kai didn't even think he wanted to face it head on ever.
In that way Tala was stronger, he faced it every day. He stayed, Kai ran. "I'm sure Boris is fine." Tala stated coldly. He crossed his arms glaring back at Kai. It was hopeless to even try to talk about anything with the boy; they both knew that it was impossible to have a conversation. "How's running been?"
"I. Didn't. Run." Kai stated slowly through gritted teeth. He sat down on a chair next to his childhood friend. He felt he needed to explain, which never happened to him, so he wanted to get it over with. "I got out of there. I wanted you to come."
"You would've just forgotten me! I would've been even worse off than with Boris!" The taller teen pushed Kai. He always has, and always will. "You don't even care enough to tell me you remember." That thought upset Tala the most.
Kai looked Tala straight in the eyes. He was very serious and looked very confused when he said, "But I just told you." Tala's face eased up and he felt the urge to lean forward to kiss Kai. Then after processing the thought he gave Kai a horrified look while covering his mouth. "Are you okay?" Hiwatari went to grab Tala's hand and then he was shoved away. "What the hell, Tala?"
"Don't get near me like that!" The Russian was now standing he was very aware he was in a corner. He felt like it was nice to know nothing was going to sneak up behind him. "It's wrong!" Tala held his face absolutely scared of his thoughts.
Kai walked over to Tala confused. "All I did was reach to grab your arm." He walked closer to his friend with a smile. It was like when they were little again. Tala was always saying stupid things and Kai doing exactly what he said not to do. He was about a foot away from Tala when he asked, "So is this too close?"
"Kai, don't even do it!" Tala was sliding down the wall covering his face afraid to look where Kai was.
Kai was hardly an inch away from Tala and that's when he looked concerned. It was really bothering Tala. It wasn't the normal thing or how it used to be normal. "Tala," Kai reached for Tala's chin and make him look at his face. "What's wrong?" Tala just kept his eyes shut tightly. This began to freak Kai out, believe it or not. "Tala, look at me!" He yelled after waiting awhile.
Tala tried to pull his face away from Kai's grasp. His hands wrapped tightly around Kai's arm trying to push him away. Kai's other hand slammed Tala into the wall. "Get away, you need to get away!" Tala was struggling to get away, obviously flipping out.
"No," Kai said calmly with worry. Even though he didn't want to be friends with Tala anymore, he still felt like he should still be Tala's friend. He felt that he was too important for Tala to let go so easily. Maybe he was just being big-headed but it was what he believed. "You need to tell me what's wrong."
Tala opened his eyes and looked at Kai. They both sat there calmly staring at each other, in the corner of the room on the floor. The Russian and the Japanese boy sat there. Both of them wanted to get up and leave but they both couldn't find it in them to leave. After what felt like an hour but was probably five minutes, Tala finally said something. "I'm not right."
Kai gave a bewildered look then gave one airy chuckle. "Well I'm not right either. I'm sure Boris made sure of that, for a lot of the boys there."
"No," Tala barked at his childhood friend. He felt bad for yelling since it made Kai's bewildered look come back. "I didn't mean like that." They sat there. Kai was still holding Tala against the wall. "What's wrong with me? He's like my brother, it's wrong. This is worse than what Boris did. I need to stop." Tala scolded himself in his head. There was something wrong with the way he was thinking but he couldn't see why it was so wrong. They weren't related, but Kai was a boy.
Kai let an evil grin slip on his lips. "Oh," He leaned forward, getting closer to Tala. Tala turned his head further to the left the more Kai leaned in. "You mean like…" Kai trailed off as he leaned forward so far that he had to change his sitting position to being on one knee instead of a shin and foot. "You mean like queer?"
Tala couldn't turn his head anymore than he already did; the side of his face was flat against the wall. Kai took the hand that was holding Tala against the wall and turned his face to look at the Asian. "What?" Tala whispered, very frightened by his friend's actions. That was when Kai finished leaning in and smashed his lips against Tala's. Kai knew the answer when Tala pushed against Kai.
Kai let it go on for a good few minutes. He couldn't tell how long it had been he just knew that he wasn't messing with the redhead anymore. It was starting to scare him. When the bluenette pulled away all he could say was, "Yeah," He started to stand and then began to walk away. He turned around ready to say something to the boy he left on the floor in the corner of the room but just closed his mouth and sat back down in his chair a cross the room.
"What's wrong with me?" Tala asked in a voice that made him sound sort of lost like he had a disease that hadn't been discovered yet. "I am the lowest of the low. There aren't even words to explain my level now."
"Nothing's wrong with you." Kai stated plainly. "You're gay, and you like me."
"Impossible," Tala started staring at the wall across from him.
"No," Kai just shook his head and sighed. "That would make everything easier, but face it; you wanted to do that for a long time."
The redhead sent his blue haired friend a death glare. "Then you did too!" He bellowed in disbelief. "It's wrong! We're wrong! It's bad, it's not true!" He covered his ears and squeezed his eyes shut.
Once he was quiet Kai spoke again calmly. "The sad thing is you're right."
"No, don't say that."
"I've known it for a while. Sure I didn't think you out of all the people I could but I do."
"Please stop saying those awful things!"
"You know just as well as I do why we've denied it so long…"
"SHUT UP! BE QUIET!"
"Boris…"
"QUIT IT, KAI!" Tala finally let his thoughts be voiced. Kai just jumped at stared at his friend. "Just SHUT UP!" The redhead was now standing. Hi hands lost in his hair holding his head. "You don't know how wrong that is! You don't know how long it took me to get away! It's your fault!"
"What're you talking about, Tala?" Kai was a little frightened by Tala's actions. "It's okay. It happens, not everyone's perfect. Not everyone likes the same things." Hiwatari tried to reason with the overwhelmed Russian. "Remember I'm in the same boat as you. I've gotten everything you did."
Tala just left the room. Walking past Kai leaving him there, he had to get his mind clear, and he needed to know that all of it wasn't true.
xXxXxXxXxXxXx
Tala and Kai pretended nothing happened. They acted as if they were still like they were before they even started the whole thing, even when no one was around. It wasn't until Spain when Tala had had enough. It had to be over. Luckily Kai was up, Tala was lying in his own bed and Kai sat in the other facing away from Tala's bed. "Hey, Kai?" The redhead asked believing what he was about to do was the right thing. Those who sin must be punished.
Hiwatari turned around looking shocked. "Is there something wrong?"
"No," The Russian sat up and slipped out of his bed and walked over to Kai. "I just need to talk to you."
"Okay." Kai said awkwardly not understanding what was going on. Tala got up hands hidden in his long pajama sleeves. He locked the door with both locks and turned to Kai and smiled. "What're you doing?"
Tala headed to Kai's bed with a teary smile. "I've needed to say this since we were little, I just couldn't bring myself to say it."
The bluenette smiled and felt less scared about the situation. "What is it?"
The Redhead stood not even a foot away. He looked at Kai, who sat shirtless on the bed. The bed was perfectly made and it was white. This only made Tala's decision harder. He leaned down to Kai knowing what's best. "I've needed to tell you that,"
After waiting for his friend to finished Kai finally asked, "What?"
Tala's eyes let the tears escape. He didn't want to do this crying but he knew it was right. "That I think I love you."
Kai smiled grabbing Tala's face looking rather pleased. "And to think that I could say the same."
Kai sat up straighter and kissed Tala. Then he felt it, a cold metal press against his bare stomach. They both pulled away at the same time. "That's what makes us so wrong." Kai just stared at Tala after the cackled of the gun rang through the hotel room. Kai knew what had happened. He just kind of couldn't do anything be lean on Tala. The pain was unbelievable. The white sheets were slowly turning pink and red. "We're wrong, we need to be punished." He felt Kai shaking his head while he violently choked on blood and spit it up on Tala's pajamas. "Just let go." Another shot was fired from the gun, there were only two. And Tala fell slowly. But he was smiling and Kai could clearly see shot himself in the stomach, which would only mean he didn't want Kai to stay alone, and other person would have shot themselves in the head. "Boris will get his," Tala started feeling the pain, and coughing up blood too. Kai had simply become limp and fallen off the bed on the floor not too far from Tala.
There was knocking on the door. Tala could he concerned voices. He didn't care. He finally got himself for everything he had done. He had gotten Kai too, so hopefully there was a heaven that would accept a sinner.
Okay if I get a good amount of Reviews on this I'll throw in an alternate ending or two. I'm not quiet satisfied with this one. But it was what I wanted and I don't like it, ha.