A creation from the mind of a singleton. Beware.

There is one particular phrase that has long haunted the minds of countless woman. It is in the mind of your mother, your sister, and quite possibly in the mind of your female teacher. And that phrase is "fairytale romance".

I used to be one of those optimistic believers. It first started in the child state and then the infection rapidly grew as we had developed through adolescence. We kept hoping and wishing. Some of us did jump on the 'hormone bandwagon' and had as many boyfriends as we did socks. But there was never the right one. There was the right now boyfriend. A few were close, but they never held the qualities that we had wished for.

At childhood, our expectations were great and extremely specific. Certain expectation such as the way he would laugh and his eyes would mysteriously twinkle. That ideal man was labeled 'Prince Charming'. He could do no wrong with his hundred-watt smile.

We aged and our eyes narrowed in disdain. As did our expectations. From the late teens to early twenties, we wanted someone who was generally attractive, active, intelligent, and ambitious. Time waned and now we have entered the late twenties to early thirties era. Expectations have drastically been cut down. All we ask for is: decent-looking, not an idiot, not a bum, and not a serial killer. This man was called the 'average joe'.

Another common misconception as a child is that this miracle will happen to you. It does occasionally happen; otherwise many of us wouldn't have ever been born. Regardless, there is an alarmingly increasing rate of women who live and die single.

Sadly enough, I have been cursed with such a future. Just to reassure of this fact, let me give you a brief overview of who I am and what I stand for.

Name: Serena Whales

Age: 28

Status: painfully single

Goal: to find a solution to my status

Progress: ….

Case closed. Class dismissed.

Now back to the subject on hand. For women like me, all we wonder is, "What do we have to do in order to latch ourselves to the opposite sex?" That in itself is a tricky question. We ponder over each aspect that we hold. Is there something wrong with how we think or speak? Is it the shape of our bodies or lack of it? As we strive to make ourselves into what we believe to be presentable specimens, we lose what we hold or should hold dearest to us. And that is our dignity and pride as women.

I may sound like one of those feminist women that let their arm hair grow out and comb it daily, but I am no such thing. It's just that I have accepted that I will be a spinster for life. I was not meant for anyone. I understand and as soon as my gray hairs appear I will go and adopt twenty-three cats and develop a scratchy voice to call away youngsters who play tricks on me. In all due time.

Such is my solitary existence…

"Are you acting all mopey again?" A voice sparked out from the bathroom of our apartment.

"Maybe.." I replied, hoping that Rei wouldn't think I was in another of my so-called 'episodes'. Don't know what she's talking about.

Rei appeared from the bathroom with two dresses in her hands. "Do you think I should wear the black or white one?"

I groaned and crawled under the covers of her bed. "Why are you asking me this? I'm SINGLE, as in alone, as in never going to be with someone as in-"

"Get over yourself, " Rei snapped. She glanced at both dresses again before asking, "So which one?"

"The black."

"Why that one?" Rei had always liked the white dress more. I had no idea why she was asking me if she was going to end up wearing the white one anyway, but who knows how the mind of someone with a boyfriend works…

"It's sexier." Rei gave me a puzzled look. I elaborated. "Since it's sexier, there's a greater chance that JJ will become hornier and thus take you home with him for the night thus meaning that the two of you will most likely remain a couple for a longer duration of time. Okay?"

"…I'll go with the white," Rei replied before shuffling back into the bathroom. See, I told you so.

I snuggled deeper into her bed and exhaled softly. It was another Saturday night that I, once again, had no one to go on a date with. Unless you count Allan, the freaky guy who tried to dirty talk to me whenever I went to order food from the fast food restaurant Nugget Chug It.

I felt a light tapping on my back. I turned to face the ceiling and saw Ami standing next to the bed.

Ami, of course, had a boyfriend as well. However, she preferred to take things slower. Because of that, she had more free time then let's say…Rei.

"Remember we said we'd go watch a movie together today?" Ami gently said. I nodded and got up. I felt that I may have had the energy to dress nicer, but not the motivation. I was dressed somewhat casually in a pair of jeans, a gray sweater, and a haphazard ponytail. The absolute epitome of sexiness.

After saying goodbye to Rei, who was still fussing over her hair, we arrived outside to the crowded streets of New York City. We felt no need to take a car and began walking down the sidewalk towards the theater. Unluckily, the movie that we had wanted to see had already started and would not come back on until midnight.

We trudged to a local restaurant and decided to spend the rest of our night there. It was strange though…. this place had lights and dance music on and…

"Serena, I think this is a night club."

"Well, that would make sense," I said, warily watching the couples mash into each other. "Should we leave, it seems a little dangerous."

"Don't be silly! The night is still young. Almost as young as you beautiful ladies, " A voice croaked as a man emerged from the crowded mob of mashers. He seemed like a young…horny teenager. Great.

"Excuse me, but where are we?" Ami asked, who I guessed was trying to ignore the horrendous pick up line that the boy had administered ever so gracefully.

The boy scratched his shaggy hair. "Well…thi-this…is the.." The boy coughed and resumed speaking. "The Planetarium."

It appears that someone still hasn't passed puberty, I silently thought. I once again scanned the shiny ceiling and flashy lights. "Let's go."

A hand grasped at my arm. "Hey, sparky, let go of me!" The boy backed away as if he had been under an attack of whiplash.

"I-I-I…just thought that you guys should stay a little longer." He began to make gestures as he saw my eyes roll. "At least for one drink okay?"

A light bulb shined in my head. "Sparky?" His head jerked in recognition. I had to give him credit for that, the boy caught on fast. "Would the reason that you wanted us to stay longer, by any chance, be that you want us to get you a drink?"

His face burned bright purple, well, it would have been red if those damn shiny lights weren't continuously hawking us down. "It's not what you think! You see, there's this girl—" He pointed at a group of other teenagers amidst the mass of mashing couples. "I really like her, but she says she won't even consider me unless I can get her a drink from the bartender here."

I glanced at the bartender. I think my life was shortened by a few years. The bartender was a squat man with giant muscles that looked like tires had been strapped to his arms. I gulped.

Ami had realized Sparky's true motive as well. "So you want us to get you a drink?"

He gave us a deploring look and returned to timidly staring at the floor. I wasn't the kind of person to break the law, but my heart went out for the guy. Even though he tried to fool us, he seemed to be a nice guy who just wanted a chance with a girl who probably doesn't give a rat's ass about him. I knew that Ami's doctor side would be angry, but she'll understand. "I'll get you that drink, Sparky."

He eyes shot up and sparkled. That or the lights were directly in his eyes, but that wasn't the point. My heart nearly broke as I saw the eagerness with which he pulled me to the bar and expectantly watched me. The bartender glared at me as I struggled to think of any words. Luckily enough, Ami came to my rescue. "May I have four beers?"

The bartender must have been shocked by Ami's politeness or something, because his glare softened and he answered, "Yes, ma'am", before shuffling to get the beers. He returned shortly and placed the beers on the counter. He respectfully nodded to Ami and went to get another customer's order.

By this time the boy was practically hailing us as his messiah. "Thank you so much! You guys are the best! I'll never forget either of you!"

I patted him on the shoulder. "Go get her, Sparky."

He saluted us and marched off towards the group of teenagers. Behind me I heard Ami sit on one of the stools. "Oh yeah…Why'd you get four beers Ami?" I asked.

She replied as if it was the most obvious thing ever. "Cause it was a long, long week and I need a beer."

I slumped down on a stool next to hers. "Amen to that," I said as I chugged a quarter of my beer. Ami began to elegantly sip at hers. I slapped her hard on the back and she choked on the spoonful of beer in her mouth. "C'mon Ami, when you drink beer, you have to let yourself go loosey goosey!" She hesitated for a moment, but then downed half of her drink. "Whoah! Go Ami!" I cheered. "Mr. Bartender, we'd like another round of beers if you don't mind!" He shot me another glare as if to say he would, but nevertheless he brought us another two beers. I was about to take a gulp out of my second when I heard a girl's shriek.

"Goddamnit Kenny! Can't you do anything right?!"

I looked back to see the horrid voice had been emitted form the teen group. I saw Sparky and the girl who he probably liked. She had long honey-colored hair and a ton of make-up on. She looked gorgeous, but in a fake kind of way. Her dress was short and obviously made to fit every curve (or lack thereof) on her body.

"You asked me to get a drink, didn't you?" Poor Sparky. I could practically see the tail cowering between his legs.

She flung her hair back and sighed impatiently. "Yeah, but when I said a drink, I meant a martini or a cocktail! Not a beer! That's way disgusting!" I could see a chorus of her clones nodding and giving him dirty looks.

I had another swig of my beer before heading to the group. Ami was right behind me. We couldn't let this happen to poor Sparky.

"Excuse me?" She whipped her hair around again so that I got a face full.

"Yeah hag?" She snarled.

What. What? Oh this bitch is going down. "I'm gonna punch your lights out!" I yelled. The last thing I saw was the shiny lights before I descended on Ms. Slutty McSlut.

Rei looked outside the window and sighed contently. There was nothing that could ruin her night. Her boyfriend Jadeite had prepared them a romantic dinner and had been nothing but sweet to her. She thought back to the earlier events of the night, and was once again happy that she decided to wear the white dress.

"Honey?"

"Oh, hmmm..?" Rei answered as she returned to her wonderful night.

"Can I kiss you?" His husky voice ran chills down her spine.

She blushed slightly, but shakily said, "S-sure." He leaned in and was about to kiss…

"Oh what the fuck!" Rei furiously cried out as her phone began to ring. She looked up to see Jadeite's confused face and quickly said, "Sorry, but I have to answer this." She slid out from Jadeite's arms and went out to the balcony.

"Hello?"

"Rei?"

Rei's anger boiled. "What do you want Serena? I was just about to get kissed by Jadeite when you—" Rei coughed as she tried to recover herself.

"Um…can you pick me and Ami up?"

"You called me just to pick you up from the theaters?"

"That's the thing, we're not at the theaters," Serena nervously laughed.

"Then where are you guys?"

"Um…welll...in jail."

"WHAT?!"

Rei's perfect night had been taken, thrown at a wall, and repeatedly punched in the head.