So, remember when I said that I wanted to write a missed opportunity for some Ranger-Steph smut from the books? Well, this started out plot-wise as gratuitous smut and then morphed into something else entirely as I got to the sexy times.

Spoilers for Takedown Twenty and Twelve Sharp, if you haven't read those and still want to read this, there's enough that I think you'll be able to follow along.

SPOV

There are moments in life when everything becomes crystal clear, you finally see the path you want to take, see the person you want to be. That clarity unfortunately may have come too late for me.

Here I was, hanging upside down by one foot from the Lower Trenton Bridge having a life changing epiphany when I was pretty sure that that life was all over for me. The gray, quick moving water of the Delaware was churning 100 feet below me and I could just make out the screeching of brakes and yelling ten feet above me over the thundering of my pulse in my ears.

Fuck, this is really, really bad.

The only reason I hadn't yet plummeted to my highly likely death was the cinderblock weighting my rope to ensure my eventual watery grave, had gotten snagged in the bridge railing. I could feel the rough twine biting sharply into my ankle and I was spinning uncontrollably around my tether like a top.

Looking up I saw Ranger, he was yelling to me, telling me to try to be still, worried, I'm sure that the rope would snap at any second. He grabbed it and started to hoist me up, only for the knot around my ankle to finally give before it was within his reach.

We had a split second of terrified eye contact and then I was in free-fall.

The last thing I saw before curling into a ball to brace for impact, Ranger diving off the bridge after me.

Just like he always does.

For a long chaotic second after I crashed into the river, I couldn't tell which way was up, the cold, murky water completely surrounding me, providing no clues on this overcast day. My lungs screaming for oxygen and my brain too disoriented to get it. Feeling his arms band around my waist, I had to work hard to not sigh in relief and inhale a lung full of rank water. He shoved me to the surface, calming me with his voice, towing me to the rocky riverbank, so embarrassed with myself for needing rescuing a-fucking-gain.

Ranger dragged us both out of the water, his arms still almost too tightly around me. He turned me and pulled me into him, my hands awkwardly between us, still bound by the handcuffs. Someone threw a blanket over my shoulders, but it wouldn't calm the shaking or stop my teeth from chattering. He backed up a tiny bit and got the cuffs off, rubbing his thumbs over the red welts that were left behind.

Ranger was silent, not all that unusual for him, he kept his own council, always. But, the tightness of his jaw suggested he was holding in some serious anger. He pulled me close again, rubbing his hands over my shivering back.

"Babe, do you need to go to the hospital?" He asked after a minute, "The EMTs want to look at you."

I shook my head, "n-n-n-no," I muttered through clacking teeth. "I j-j-j-just need to g-g-g-get warm. I can't s-s-st-stop shaking."

He kissed my forehead, "It's the adrenaline. Tank will take you home, keep you safe."

I shook my head and clung to him tighter.

"Babe, I have to talk to the police and you need to get dry.

I shook my head again. Worried that if I opened my mouth I would shamefully beg for him to stay with me.

"You're going to be okay, Steph. I'll be right behind you," he promised.

I nodded, but still couldn't make myself let go.

"Go sit in the SUV, I'll be there in a minute," he sighed, nudging me in Tank's direction. It took a few seconds for my fingers to unclench from his shirt, but I finally moved away and sat my soaking wet and still uncontrollably shaking ass in the truck.

"Here," Tank said, opening the driver's side door and sliding behind the wheel. "We found this in the trunk of the Lincoln." He put my messenger bag in my lap. "Good thing they were dumb-ass wise guys, your tracker is still in there."

No wonder they found me so fast.

"T-t-thanks," I stuttered. I dug my phone out and texted Lula, Morelli, and my mother that I was okay. No way would I get through a phone conversation with anyone right now, at least not without my chattering teeth biting my tongue off.

I watched Ranger through the windshield, he was as soaked as me, water still dripping off the longish hair over his eyes, but he showed no signs of being in any distress. He was speaking calmly to a uniformed Trenton PD officer. He nodded once and turned away, locking eyes with me through the glass. Tank opened the door and they silently switched places. Glancing over at me, he threw the truck into drive, starting across town.

I looked down at his arm on the console, goosebumps pebbled his smooth dark skin. Cranking the heat, I turned to face him more. "Are you okay?"

"No," he said quietly.

"You're hurt? Where?" I started patting him down.

He gently grabbed my hand and laid it on his thigh, "I'm not hurt."

I looked at him closely, the same tightness around his eyes and jaw still there from when he got us out of the water. It struck me then, "You were scared," I whispered.

"Yes. Very." His fingers tightened around mine. I sat back, trying to digest what he admitted. Ranger wasn't one for superfluous emotions, he was never dramatic, always controlled. For him to concede to being frightened was a first in our three year, for lack of a better term, relationship.

It took until he turned right on Hamilton instead of left to snap me out of my thoughts. "Where are we going?"

He side-eyed me. "Rangeman. I need to shower and you need to warm up, you still have some things in my closet."

"You're not going to lock me up there are you?"

"Only if you want me to."

This was actually a conundrum, I loved his place. It was calm and quiet with an amazingly comfortable bed and delicious food. It was also remarkably fortress-like, none of the idiots that had thrown me over the side of the bridge stood a snowballs chance in hell of getting to me there. But I couldn't hide there forever. I might have resolved to quit my job while I was dangling above that water, but I wouldn't let these morons terrorize me into hiding.

"Maybe just for the next few hours," I told him. His lips tipped up at the corner and he pulled into the underground parking lot.

I was still shivering when we stepped onto the elevator, though not as violently as before. Ranger moved in close, pulling me into his chest. "I don't ever want to see that again, Babe. That was fucking scary."

"I know." I looked up at his face, thinking hard about the other part of my epiphany.

Fuck it, it's beyond time that I told him.

"I love you. I've never said that to you before, but I do."

"Yeah, I know," he said, kissing me softly, a real smile starting to break out. I pulled away from him when the elevator dinged and the doors swished open. But, I kept his hand as he crossed the marble tiled floor. Walking into his place was always a calming experience, it was kept the perfect temperature and smelled just like him. Serene and secure and almost exactly what I needed right then.

He dropped his keys and his gun belt on the sideboard as I turned to face him. "What?" He asked, taking in my expression.

I didn't answer, just let the blanket drop. I started to shuck my still soaking wet clothes, needing to be free of the tangible reminders of what had just happened. When it was all gone, I tiptoed up and kissed him before tugging his shirt free of his pants and dragging it over his head. "Shower with me?" I asked. He was already yanking on the button at his waist and shoving down his pants before I finished my question. He kicked off his boots and he was magnificently naked, right there in his foyer, a true work of art. A shiver wracked through me and I took his hand, leading him down the hallway to his bathroom. Reaching into the shower, he turned the water on and guided me inside. I stood directly under the deliciously warm stream of water, rinsing away who knows what pollutants we had been submerged in. My eyes opened when I felt his fingers in my hair and his body against mine.

"I love you too, Steph." He kissed me softly. "I thought I was going to lose you today. I keep seeing your face in my head, how you looked at me when you started falling." He held me tighter. "I couldn't fucking reach you, Babe."

From my spot pressed against his chest, I could feel the rapid pounding of his heart. This man, who I'd once seen walk into a room and face almost certain death with total calm detachment, was showing actual fear of losing me.

"Hey," I said, pulling back slightly, "I'm right here. You got to me. You pulled me out and now I'm here." I looked him straight in the eye for the next part, hoping he'd catch my meaning because I really sucked at communication. "With you."

He bent and kissed me again, deeper this time, more intense. "With me?"

"Yes, with you."

"I won't share you with him, Babe. I can't."

"Morelli and I are done." Time to put on the proverbial big girl panties. "Look, I realized some things hanging from that bridge. First, I'm quitting my job, I'm done with my life being threatened by scumbags every day. I know I've said that before, but I mean it. I'm done. Second, Joe and I are finished. And that actually has nothing to do with you. He and I are going absolutely nowhere and I'd rather be alone than be stuck in that self-destructive cycle another second. And most importantly, I love you, I have for a long time and I've just never had the guts to tell you. I know what you said the other day, about not being ready for a commitment, but you should still know how I feel. My biggest regret was that I might actually have died today and never have told you that. That the last time I would see you would be with that look on your face and not this, here." I rubbed my hands over the broad expanse of his back, reveling in his warm, smooth skin under my fingers. He was right here and I was alive and I was done wasting time.

Smoothing my hands up the back of his neck and into his thick hair, I pulled his face down to mine. I kissed him, slow and deep and, oh my god, I was finally taking what I wanted. No more of this lay back and settle shit. He immediately caught on and hitched my leg over his hip, gently stroking his cock against me. We had had sex on more than a few glorious occasions by now, enough times for me to know that he was an incredibly instinctive lover, he always knew exactly where to kiss, lick, suck or rub. Never once had he not left me in a glowy puddle of sated mush.

My head fell back on my suddenly weak neck when I felt his hand smooth over my ass cheek, his long, agile fingers gliding over my slit. "Please, Ranger, inside. I need to feel you inside me." His mouth landed on my throat as he penetrated me with a single finger, only increasing my need. "More, please!" He lifted his face and looked at me, his eyes were darker than I'd ever seen them, nearly feral. He wrenched his hand away from me and shoved the faucet off, throwing a towel over my shoulders he swept me up and crossed into his bedroom in three strides. Rather than letting me go, he climbed into his high bed with me still clinging to him. And then he was right there, kneeling between my thighs, thick cock in hand, thumb swiping through my lips and pushing into me.

"I'm so ready, just, please Ranger, I need you!" I begged. The sudden desperation to feel him in me was nearly overwhelming. Like I wouldn't feel that I had truly survived unless I was fully connected to him. He rotated that torturous thumb and dragged it along a spot so sensitive I saw starbursts behind my heavy lids.

"Open your eyes, Stephanie." His voice was rough and he sounded like he needed this as much as I did. I dragged them open just in time to see him slip that thumb into his mouth.

Fuck.

He leaned over me, lining us up, keeping my eyes as he slid inside. "I can't lose you, Babe." I felt the sincerity of those words everywhere, filling me up emotionally just as much as he was physically. His admittance of vulnerability was breathtaking.

He started a slow, excruciatingly deep push-pull, never letting me look away. His hand smoothed over my chest, stopping to pluck at a nipple, my back involuntarily arching against the onslaught of sensation. When he reached my hip he cupped the back of my thigh, pushing my leg up and around his waist and then the other. His hands slid under me and curled around my shoulders, pulling me into him, not even a sliver of space between us.

I don't know how long we stayed like that, locked together, limbs entangled; the heaviness of him pressing down on me, comfortingly real. The only thing I could think of, feel, smell, hear or taste was him and the fire he was building inside me; the feeling so intense that immolation seemed entirely possible. The climax he triggered in me so consuming that he robbed me of speech, my back arching, fingers and toes curling almost painfully. He followed soon after, spilling deep inside me.

We lay quietly after that, never changing position, trapped in his gaze. I knew him well enough that I could see he was fighting with his words.

"Just say what you need to, Ranger," I whispered.

He dipped down and dropped a soft kiss on my lips. "I have this obsessive need to protect you."

I snorted at that, "Yeah, you had a tracker in my purse."

"On your car too." He paused for a bit, probably anticipating some outrage on my part, but honestly, he'd been doing that almost since we'd met and it'd saved me a few times.

"Also, not news to me."

That almost smile tugged up the corners of his mouth. "Sometimes that protectiveness leads me to think that you'd be safer without me close by. How many times have people tried to hurt me by going through you by now?" I shrugged, because quite honestly, I'd lost count. "But, every time I pull away some other wacko tries to kill you. The other day, when I said that I pictured us together, I do do that. A lot. I want to tell you that I want you here with me all the time. I want to be ready for that." He broke off, his face, for once, easy to read.

"Stop," I whispered. "I didn't tell you I loved you and that I was breaking up with Morelli because I thought we were going to move in together and get married and have babies. I told you because I should've told you the minute I knew for sure that I did."

His smile widened a tiny bit. "When was that?"

"When you were shot."

He looked thoughtful for a second. "Which time?"

It was my turn to be thoughtful then. "Holy shit, I'm in love with someone who has to ask me to clarify on which time he was shot."

"This is my life, Babe." He finally shifted off of me, rolling so that I was half on top of him instead.

I rested my chin on his chest, enjoying the warmth that radiated from him. "Don't I know it? It was the last time, with Scrog, in my apartment. I couldn't breathe when I thought you might die." I closed my eyes, helpless against the onslaught of images. Ranger, all in black again, strolling in my front door like he was going to a business meeting, like he didn't know there was a maniac holding his daughter and me hostage in that very room. Just waiting for him to show up so he could fulfill his delusional little fantasy. The report of the gun firing, Ranger crumpling to the ground, blood seeping far too quickly out of the wound in his neck. All of it making me anxious even now, with him naked and solid and very much alive under me. I touched a single fingertip to the scar on his otherwise beautiful skin. The proximity to his jugular vein, causing a chill down my spine. "That was when I realized I loved you. Morelli was right there with me, but the only thing I could see was you, bleeding out in my front hallway.

"I love you. I understand that we'll never have a conventional relationship. I'm not after a picket fence type life, I tried that once and it blew up in my face. The thought of trying it again makes my throat close up. But, I do want to be with you. Just you. That'll be enough for me."

You want to know the kicker? I was telling the absolute truth. Despite my upbringing, I'd been rebelling against the neighborhood female stereotype since before I even started walking. I knew deep inside that being with Ranger was right. My family would just have to get over it.

The smile that spread over his face was blinding. "Yeah?"

"Yes. I'm done being a coward. I'm taking what I want," I told him.

He laughed a little as I moved fully over him. "And that's what you want? Me?"

"Un-huh," I whispered as I circled his rapidly re-hardening erection. "You're mine."

"Babe," he groaned as he once more pushed inside, "You've owned me since the beginning. Don't ever doubt it."

I'm going to leave that there, I think. I feel this is as close as you'd get to an HEA in keeping with canon. I don't think either of them would be overly effusive in any love declarations, but I hope they would at least be straight with each other.

I wanted to give you this as I work on the other stories. I've been struggling through some pretty serious blockages that I'm hoping are over now. Hearing your feedback definitely helps.

Let me know what you thought.

Love,

EA xoxo