AN: This is my own take of the song ''For No One" by The Beatles, my personal favorite cover and how i first listened this song is perfromed by the lovely Liz Gillies. It is a sequel to my previous one-shot Ultraviolence, but you don't have to read that one for this to make sence. For the ones that read my story Breathe, chapter 9 is in the making, because now i have time to write. I'm on vacations people! No more school for me until August!
Please Review! Review! Review.
You see her for the first time in a year at a club.
You went out with your friends because Eric is getting married and he needed a proper drunken night out, according to Max.
Zeke isn't here. He was invited of course, but he said something about Shauna wanting him with her tonight.
You know he just didn't want to cross her. Because she is here.
She insisted on coming here with you, even if she isn't at the same booth as all of your friends.
She's trying to trust you again, but she isn't quite there yet. Because of what happened.
Because of her.
You set your eyes on her again, on her lips wrapped around that tequila shot, and you wait for the cringe you know she makes when the acid taste of the lemon explodes in her mouth. Because you have spent a great time of the past year getting drunk with her to know the way her eyes shut tight with the burning feeling passing in her throat.
She opens her eyes and you feel the air leave your lungs.
Her eyes are dead.
She makes her way to the dance floor, and you set your eyes to her swaying hips, her thin hips, moving to rhythm of the music.
You can tell she's very drunk because of her dancing. She is letting go, the only way she does when she's drunk. Because you know that, no matter how much she tries to convince everyone that she doesn't have a care in the world, she cares.
And her dancing isn't that care free when she's sober. She's all awkward arms and shuffling feet, while now she's all bending legs and swaying body, arms sensually cradled around her head.
You spent a lot of time watching her. She dances, gets more drunk, dances and dances.
You only turn back to your friends when Edward drunkenly spills his drink all over the table.
You turn back to her just in time to see a guy grab her hand and lead her towards the exit.
You leave the club hours later with her babbling on the passenger's seat about Eric's bride, head lolling to the side to no doubt pass out. You carry her to your bed and lay down next to her.
You try not to think about what she must be doing.
You hear from Uriah half a year later that she has a new job.
She's tired all the time and she complains about her boss being a pain, but she loves it. You know she does.
She got fired from the last one because of her absences.
You hear she's getting better. She goes out with Christina now, every Saturday night.
You try not to think too much about where she goes, because she wants to make Saturday nights, date nights.
You know she would laugh and say that date nights are for non-caring couples who don't have time for each other.
You try not to think of how much it fits to you.
You see her again on December. Christmas shopping.
You try to be discreet about your ogling but Christina sees you and drags her silently to another aisle.
You see her eyebrows furrow in confusion and try not to think about all the moments you pressed kisses to her forehead to smooth her frown.
You also try to ignore the glare that Christina throws in your way and think about all the times she threatened to cut you open if you hurt her best friend.
You thank the guy up there that she was too much focused on Tris to fulfill her threat.
She shuffles along Christina and you see her cheeks are pink, and that her clothes hug her form much tighter than the last time you saw her. She regained her weight; you knew she lost some pounds after you-
Your break up.
After you left her.
After you promised to come back to her and never did.
You run to the store's bathroom and try not to cry.
You left her.
But you think you might still have a chance.
She still needs you, you hope.
You want her. You need her.
You try not to think of her when you are with her, but it is inevitable.
She was your match. Still is your match.
You find a napking in a tux pocket.
You look handsome.
Maybe this party will end soon and you can take me home
and do all kind of things you want to do to me.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
-Tris
You decide that it's time to see her again.
You try to think of a logical way to talk to her without Christina or Uriah or anyone finding out.
After all, this has always been about you and her.
Only you and her.
Always you and her.
You hear from Lynn that she met someone.
His name is Matthew and he is the pain in the ass boss.
He must have done something to push her buttons because you know that is the way she notices people. When they try, when they push.
You try not to choke on the mouthful of spaghetti you have on your mouth and try to ignore the way her teeth clench hard around the silver fork at the mention of her name. Lynn isn't known for her subtleness.
Zeke saves the moment announcing Shauna's pregnancy.
She gushes to Shauna about how happy she is for her and that whatever she needs, they will be there for her.
Not thirty minutes later you are regretting ever agreeing on dinner, because she states that a baby will make everything perfect.
You try not to think about the conversation you had with Tris about a brown haired baby with blue eyes, and about the big house you would buy for them.
You try to sleep that night.
You first talk to her in over a year and a half at the groceries store's parking lot.
You needed oranges because she thought they were the perfect decoration for her chocolate cake that would be served tonight at dinner with her parents.
You ran to the store and parked just in time to see her walk into the same line of cars, with a shopping cart full of bags. You forgot it was Thursday and that's grocery shopping day for her.
You stay inside the car for a moment, weighting your options, before you throw the car door open, banging it hard with the other car next to you, emitting a loud yelp from where your own door smashed your foot, and making her turn to face you.
She widens her eyes and you can feel the panic surging from her body.
She runs; groceries car forgotten on the middle of the car aisle, you see her running to an old black mustang you know she loves since her late mom bought it for her.
You sprint behind her, always faster than her.
You press your body between hers and the door, and you try not to react at the feeling of having her pressed against you again.
She steps back from you and crosses her arms tight against her chest.
That's when you start babbling.
"Tris listen, please, just listen to me. I know i hurt you and that you probably don't want to see me again- i mean you are already seeing me but- i just wanted to say that i miss you and that i hope you are alright- maybe you are i saw you a few months ago- no i'm not stalking you, don't give me that look- you look better, not that you didn't look good before but- you regained your weight an- no i'm not saying you are fat, i just-"
"Oh god, Tobias, SHUT UP!" she screams at you.
You stay quiet until her staring becomes unnerving, and you slide your left hand through your hair, a nervous habit of yours.
Her eyes zoom on your wedding band.
You try not to notice how her throat constricts through her gulp and how her blinking becomes quicker.
You stay quiet for a while until your mind tells you that the cars passing by won't be very happy with the groceries car standing in the middle of the aisle.
You walk towards it, chanting in your head and hoping she will hear 'don't go don't go don't go don't go'. You look over your shoulder at her and you see her face contort in a way that can only be described as hurt.
You are leaving me again, lingers on the air.
You walk faster to the damn groceries car and walk even faster with it to her.
Her face clears in understanding and she grabs her keys and opens her trunk.
You pass her bags and help her load the trunk until there are no more bags. You think achingly that for anyone passing by you must look like a couple buying the goodies.
She closes the trunk with a thump and the silence that lingers on is suffocating.
You turn to her and try not to notice how she's avoiding your eyes by wheeling the car away from her own car space.
She turns back to you and unlocks her door, and you try not to throw up the french toast you had for breakfast because she's leaving. Your brain snickers at you of how now it's the other way around.
You look at her with longing and your eyes must reflect what you are feeling because her eyes set on your wedding ring, hand resting on her open car door, as an answer.
"Matthew?" you whisper to her.
Her eyes widen and she starts to mutter something that sounds like 'how do you know' but the words die on her lips and you see her eyes set on the ring again.
"He's gone. I don't need him. I don't need anyone."
And she lowers her body on the car seat but your hands refuse to let her door close and you stare at her with your eyes screaming something that you don't even know.
You stare at her long enough to see the tears start falling from her eyes.
But in her eyes you see nothing, no sign of love behind the tears.
"A love that should have lasted years." she says with regret.
You take your hands off the door in fear she will smash them when she closes it.
"I need you." You whisper to her.
She turns back to you through the open window, and smiles at you through her tears.
"I hope you are happy with her."
"Tris-"
"Please don't look for me again."
With those final words, she reverses and flies from the parking lot leaving you behind.
Later, she will ask you what could have taken you so long.
You say you only found regular oranges and you knew she wanted blood oranges.
She laughs delighted and hugs you and kisses you, but you feel nothing.
You leave her on autumn.
You tell her you don't feel anything anymore and that she takes everything from your body.
You just can't anymore.
She cries and cries, but your decision has been made.
She keeps the house.
You find a nice apartment that you know resembles the one a few years back was filled with laughs and moans every night, the one you shared with her. Your only one.
You want to find her again.
But you respect her request, so you don't try to find her. Yet.
Your day breaks, your mind aches
There will be time when all the things she said will fill your head
You won't forget her.