First chapter everyone, we do hope you enjoy. It will be the first of MANY. TML Productions does not own Hellsing or any of the other realities that are present in this fanfiction with the exception of the original characters.
Irony
By ToubleMakerandLuckless Productions
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Chapter 1
Prologue
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The multi-verse theory – is among one of the most confounding and mind boggling theories to ever exist. The theory had been thought up by a rather portly man who spent far too much time in his basement and far too little time on his personal hygiene. Respectable scientists had rejected the theory as ludicrous and idiotic, and by the ever present laws of the universe – the theory was completely and utterly true.
A low grunt was all that could be managed as he got hurled through the concrete wall, several thoughts ran through his mind; ranging from the anger at his adversaries, to his mental curses at his considerable injuries. The man snapped out of his daze as the solid crack of a musket ball exploding out of a barrel tore through the air, followed by a crazed catlike screech and the sound of boots clattering across the ground at an inhuman pace.
Among many parts of the theory a few sections prove to be of particular interest. Paragraph four; sentence thirteen – For every possible action, there will be a universe where it had occurred. The realms of probability are endless – what if Franz Ferdinand had not been assassinated? What if the Cuban Missile Crisis had gone sour? What if gods and devils walked among us? What if fiction was reality and reality fiction?
With a crazed snarl, the tattooed monster of a woman let loose a brutal assault. Her opponent was unarmed, while she had her scythe and her "talents". To think that such a puny weakling could best her was beyond imagining. For all her bluster, her opponent had remained steadfast, dodging each slash or getting away with mere flesh wounds, and replying with thunderous blows, and her attempts to cripple his mind met with violent resistance. However in her mind, one way or another, he would fall and so would his fellow fools.
Paragraph nineteen; Sentence three – within the realms of the multi-verse, anything and everything can be possible. Nothing was beyond the realms of existence. Zombie apocalypses might happen, as could Armageddon. Mighty conquerors may plummet from the stars to do battle with our people, only to be bested by our might, or that we may be bested by theirs. Vampires might live and walk among us in the sunlight, and in a disturbing thought sparkle. – It is to be noted that the author of the theory proceeded to rant on about how said sparkling vampires would be lynched in most horrid ways that would make gore-fest enthusiasts cringe in horror – and that characters that we have perceived as fictitious are flesh and blood.
Hordes and hordes of them came, and he killed them. They were not like the ones his comrades fought. These were weak. Insignificant. He fought and killed regardless, grasping one by the neck ignoring its choked hissing and its raking of his arm and pulled the pins off the stick-grenades strapped to its trench-coated body, quickly flinging it into the crowd. He watched, emotionless, as the explosion consumed many of them but left them aware. Alive was not a word he would use for these things. Forty-two down, over nine hundred left to put back into the grave.
Paragraph twenty three; last sentence – In regards to the multi-verse theory no rules or laws are concrete save three.
One – Murphy's Law: Anything that can go wrong can and will go wrong.
The fat man chuckled as he regarded his "guest". With a bemused chortle and an insane leer he spoke in a grating tone filled with sickening mirth. "Such a beautiful var you haf brought to me, I vill look forvard to sharing this delight vith England… nein! Vith the rest of the vorld!" The demented porcine man gestured broadly to the maps surrounding him, his insanity growing with the noises of battle that seeped in. "Tell me …how does it feel to haf your fellows die around you? To know that you couldn't stop us? To know that you haf failed?"
Two – The unexpected will always happen.
A fiery explosion tore through the air of a dead and deserted region in South America. As smoke plumed into the sky, the wind seemed to fill with shrieks and the sounds of war before finally falling silent. A small and bloodied group slowly dragged itself from the fading flames, all evidence of the battle soon to be swept away by nature and time – as if it had never been there.
Three – Irony, in all its shapes and forms will forever be a constant.