He was dying. Energon was spilling profusely from a large gash on his side, his vitals were dangerously low, and he could barely stay on his feet as he staggered back to the Axalon, but the damage was the last thing on his processor. Instead, his thoughts were focused on the ship, and the tiny Maximal rodent awaiting him inside. There was one last thing he had to do before he died, and he couldn't stop until he accomplished it.
An eternity passed before he finally reached the ship, clutching his side and stumbling over every crack in the earth, every upturned root and loose stone. The lift lowered as he approached, and he collapsed onto it, completely pulling himself on just as it began to rise back into the ship.
As the darkened gloom of the command center flooded his optics, he raised his head, searching out for the object of his quest. There, across the room, was Rattrap, bent over a console as he studied a screen at Rhinox's side. His effeminate little hips were cocked just so, making the dim lighting glint off the polished silver of his aft. Beautiful.
Blessed with the glorious sight of anatomical perfection, he found the strength to rise once more to his feet and stagger towards the rat. The end was in view. Nothing could stop him now; he would have his dying wish.
Dinobot collapsed to his knees with a clatter, making the rodent straighten up, but it made no difference to the injured mech. His upper body slumped forward, sights set firmly on the perky little aft before him. Just as his optics went dark, he felt it. The gentle curves of Rattrap's hind end cradled his face, warm and deliciously firm. The Matrix was clearly a lot closer than most bots thought.
"EHN! Dinobutt, what th' Pit d'ya think yer doin' back dere? In th' command centa', of all places!!" Rattrap yelped, jerking away from the nearly comatose raptor, watching as he seemed to fall the rest of the way to the floor in slow motion. Nervously, he looked around to see if anyone had seen them, but there was only Rhinox, who was doing his best to pretend he wasn't there at all. Letting out a sigh of relief, the diminutive spy brushed off his aft, then nudged Dinobot with a foot. "Hey, Choppa'face? You ah... okay dere?"
The light, dazed giggle he got in response sent him scrambling back, wary of a second groping, but the warrior was down for the count. Rattrap nudged him a few more times, just to be sure, then turned to the big green mech beside him. "Oh uh... Rhinox?"
"Just... just put him in the CR Chamber," the engineer groaned, dropping his head into his hands. It was bad enough that he had to listen to Rattrap's squeals half the night, he didn't want to have to watch the couple's bizarre mating habits as well.
A look of relief quickly passed over the spy's face, but it was quickly replaced by the rat's usual slag-eating grin and a chortle of laughter. "You got it, Big Buddy," Rattrap chirped, shooting off a snappy salute before turning and bending down to grab the Saurian warrior.
Dinobot's head lolled as he was hauled up by the shoulders and dragged across the room, but Rattrap could plainly see the look on his face. If he had actually been in any danger of going offline, he would have doubtlessly gone the happiest mech in all of existence. And the little spy couldn't help but snigger at the thought that his aft made it possible.