Disclaimer: Sadly, none of these characters are mine, but any mistakes are.
The elevator slowly climbs in silence; Lieutenant Provenza glanced to his right, careful not to stare at Captain Sharon Raydor. She hasn't spoken since they left the morgue. Absent is her normally straight posture; today she is leaning against the back wall of the elevator, eyes closed, arms snugly crossed against her chest. The one hand he can see is balled into a fist so tight, he would assume her nails are digging into her palm. This has been the week from hell already and Provenza is worried that their always stoic Captain is almost to her breaking point, although she would never admit to having one. Monday and Tuesday various "Stroh Sightings" filled the team's days and nights with nothing concrete panning out. The murder they were rolled out to early Wednesday morning was gruesome and they didn't get all the loose ends wrapped up until around 1:00am Thursday morning. They were all working on just a few hours of sleep when they were called out again at 6:30am to investigate the death of a six year old little girl found by her father in the backyard of the family's home.
The Captain hurried out the elevator door before it fully opened, the clack of her heels sounding down the tile hall. Behind her, Provenza stepped quickly from the elevator and watched as she passed the entrance to the murder room and continued on down the hall and around the corner. Shaking his head and rubbing his temple, he hastily made his way into the murder room. Andy Flynn and Mike Tao looked up from their work as Provenza sank heavily into his chair. "Where's Sharon?" Andy questioned before Provenza could get fully seated.
Provenza glanced at Mike with a knowing look, quickly getting the point; Mike rose and carried his coffee mug into the break room. "She's in the ladies room. I…ummm…I think you may need to go and make sure she is okay," Provenza stammered.
Andy raised his eye brows in question, "Are you sure? I mean…I don't think she would want me…"
"Don't be an idiot Flynn. Just go. Trust me on this. She's already exhausted and this case…well I shouldn't have to explain…go…now… before I get angry."
"Okay…Okay…But if she gets mad at me it's your fault," Andy huffed as he hurried down the hall.
Andy stood and stared intently at the door to the ladies room. He hoped he was making the right decision. He and Sharon have certainly gotten closer, but they still have yet to define their relationship and for the most part he's okay with that. Sharon has a tremendous amount of stress on her right now with Stroh's escape and Rusty's demand for independence. They have dinner together almost every night, work schedule allowing and they have become more affectionate, but not to the point of making out. Just chaste kisses and long hugs, the last thing he wants to do is scare her. Coming out of his reverie, he knocks once, waiting for a response. When he receives none, he opens the door slightly and sticks his head in. He finds Sharon leaning against the sink; head bent forward, her hair obscuring her face from his view. Andy steps in and locks the door behind him. "Sharon, are you okay?" he asked as he slowly approached her.
"Andy?" Her voice barely a whisper, "You shouldn't be here."
Andy steps closer, Sharon is still leaning against the sink; her white silk blouse has become partially untucked from her dress pants. Andy is surprised to see her blazer crumpled on the floor as if she couldn't get out of it fast enough. She turns further away from him; her back to him now, her hands coming up to cover her mouth. "I had to make sure that you are okay. This case…that little girl…I know how much she reminds you of…"
Before he could finish, he watched in horror as Sharon quickly stumbled into one of the stalls, kneeling at the base of the toilet. He was behind her in an instant, gently pulling her hair back and lifting it from her neck as she dry heaved once and then twice before vomiting yellow bile into the toilet. She continued to dry heaved a few more times before flushing the toilet and finally allowing him to settle her back against his chest. He lifted her easily, carrying her over to the counter next to the sink. She sat there trying to get her breathing to return to normal as he wet paper towels from the dispenser. Gently he wiped her face and mouth. She wouldn't look him in the eyes, she couldn't. She knew she would be too far gone if she did. He lifted her hair again and folded another damp paper towel at the base of her neck. Standing in front of her he gently pulled her to him, waiting for her to resist, but thankfully she didn't.
Her forehead rested in the crook of his neck as she finally whispered, "I'm sorry."
"Shh. Sweetheart…" His breathing hitched for a moment as he realized what he just said, out loud. "Just take a moment to collect yourself." He continued when she still didn't balk him. "It's been a long, terrible week and you're exhausted. When is the last time you had something to eat?"
She didn't answer. "Sharon?"
"I don't know…the day before yesterday…maybe…" came her muffled response.
"Damn it Sharon!" He pushed back to look at her, but she still wouldn't make eye contact.
She hung her head to the side, "Andy, please don't. I…"
He pulled her to him again, his hand snaking into her thick, beautiful hair to gently massage her scalp, "Okay…Okay, I'm sorry. I won't fuss right now, but here's what we are going to do. I'm going to let you freshen up and when you get back to your office there will be a cup of tea, a banana and peanut butter crackers waiting. And you will eat all of it. Sharon…I'm serious. And tonight or whenever this case is over we are going to talk about this and…" He gently pushed back from her, tracing the side of her jaw with his finger, he tilted her chin up to make her look at him. "And we are going to talk about a few other things too. Okay?"
This time it was Sharon who pulled Andy to her so she could rest her head against his chest. "Thank you for always being here for me…even when I don't know that I need it." She wrapped her arms tightly around his waist and he drew her closer. He softly kissed the side of her hair before stepping away from her, unlocking the bathroom door and making his way down the hall.
SASASASASASASASASA
Sharon watched from her office as her team removed the items from the murder board and placed everything into an evidence box labeled Manning, J052815. A family lost two children today, one at the hands of the other. It is never easy to work any case that involved a child, but six year old Jenny Manning would forever tug at Sharon Raydor's heart. Jenny was brunette, small for her age and dreamed of being a ballerina. But Jenny's dreams would never be realized. In a frenzy of ferocity and jealousy, Jenny was suffocated in her bed at the hands of her older brother Luke and dumped in the family's backyard. The looks on Paul and Evelyn Manning's faces as she informed them of the circumstances involving their daughter's death would be burned into Captain Raydor's mind for a long time to come. Sharon glanced at her watch, standing she walked out of her office to join the rest of her team in the murder room. Leaning against the side of Provenza's desk, she addressed her team, "Everyone…I just want to say thank you for all that each of you put into this case. I know it wasn't easy, but we did bring justice for little Jenny, just not the type we all expected. I've spoken with Chief Taylor and any cases that come in from this moment and though this weekend will be given to Robbery Homicide. So please each of you go home, enjoy and get some much needed rest."
"You heard the Captain, let's get out of here while we still can," Provenza added.
Sharon touched the shoulders of each of her team members as she made her way back into her office, she moaned at the stack of paperwork on her desk. Glancing at her watch, she calculated in her mind the current time in New York and wondered if she could catch Emily between performances. She felt the strong, urgent need to hear her daughter's voice even though they had spoken at length on Sunday. Focusing back on the paperwork on her desk, she didn't hear Andy enter her office until he was almost directly in front of her.
"Hey, I'll wait if you want me to. I thought we would have dinner."
Glancing at the pile of reports on her desk, "I've probably still got about an hour here. I thought you were going to a meeting? Why don't we just meet at my place, we should be done around the same time."
"Sure that sounds great."
He turned to leave and the sound of her voice stopped him, "Oh, Andy…wait before I forget. Rusty is spending the weekend at Mike's and you will need this if you get home before me."
Turning back to her, Andy was surprised to find her holding out a key to him. "Sharon…that is a key to your condo, are you sure you want…I mean…"
"Why Lieutenant, I think you're blushing," she giggled. "Yes, I'm sure…I've been meaning to give it to you since last week, now go so I can get finished."
"Yes, Ma'am, Captain I mean," he grinned before leaving. "Text me when you leave here."
She nodded as he walked out to his desk. Sharon watched as he gathered his things and walked out of the murder room, "that man, that man," she thought shaking her head.
SASASASASASASA
Andy woke with a start, taking a moment to remember that he is stretched out on Sharon's sofa. After going home to change clothes, he caught a meeting a local church and then drove over to Sharon's condo, letting himself in to wait while she was finishing up the paperwork on their recent case. Glancing at his watch, he is shocked to see that it is almost half past eleven. Maybe Sharon is home and just didn't want to wake me, he thinks. Andy gets to his feet, rubbing the sore muscles in his neck he as makes his way down the hall only to find her bedroom and bathroom empty. She was supposed to text him when she was on her way, but checking his phone he finds no text or call from her. Pacing back and forth in her living room, he calls her cellphone but it goes straight to voicemail. He then dials her office phone but there is no answer. He is on the verge of panic and about to call Provenza when he hears the door to the condo open. Hurrying to the door, "Where have you been, I was so…" but the words get caught in his throat when he finally lays eyes on her.
Holding up her hand to stop him from coming any closer, she gently closes the door behind her. "Don't panic, I'm fine, Andy."
"What the hell happen?" he demands, frozen in his tracks. She's still standing by the door. The first thing he notices is the fact that her glasses are missing and she has makeup smeared under her eyes. A large red welt is visible on the left side of her cheek. She's barefoot, holding her heels in one hand. Her dress pants are rolled up a few times to keep them from dragging the floor. She has on a LAPD windbreaker that is about five times to big. She is holding her purse down by her side instead of on her shoulder like she normally does. She lifts her purse and with some effort hangs it on the coat rack beside the entrance table.
"Sharon, you're scaring me. I need to know what happen. Why didn't you call me?" He steps closer, wanting to touch her, but afraid to at the same time.
"I don't have my phone. Can you help me get this jacket off?" she turns and he gently moves her hair to the side and slides the jacket down her arms. He gasps loudly at what he sees. From the back her white silk blouse is torn and bloody in places on her shoulder and upper arms. She turns to face him and he immediately sees the front buttons have been ripped open and she has scratch marks and bruising on her chest and around her neck. "You should see the other guy," she says trying to make light of the situation.
"My god Sharon, please tell me what happen. And where's your gun?" He asked suddenly realizing her holster is empty.
"FID has it." she replies casually." Stepping back away from him, Sharon looks everywhere but at Andy, "Look Andy, I will tell you everything…I just need a minute. I need to shower first…Make me some tea and I promise we will talk about everything. I'll only be a few minutes," turning she hurries down the hall and disappears into her bedroom before he can stop her.
Andy stands rooted to the spot as he stares after her. His phone rings loudly, bringing him back to himself. Glancing at the screen he is shocked to see Chief Taylor's name on the caller ID.
"Flynn," He answers in a huff.
"Did she make it upstairs okay? She refused to let me walk her up."
Surprised at Taylor's question, "You brought her home?"
"Well of course I did. She was in no condition to drive."
"What the hell happen? Why didn't someone call me?"
"She hasn't told you?" Taylor questioned.
"Damn it Chief. No, she wouldn't tell me anything. Just that she's fine. She's in the shower right now."
"She wouldn't let me call you. I tried to convince her, but she did say you would be waiting for her to get home. So I didn't press the subject."
"What happen to her?" Andy said slowly drawing out each word.
"Paul Manning."
"What?" the surprise evident in Andy's voice.
"Paul Manning attacked her in the parking garage. I actually saw most of what happen because I came downstairs just minutes behind her. He wanted her to have a reason to shoot him, to put him out of his misery as he put it."
"Oh, my god! So did she?"
"Shoot him? No of course not. Look Flynn, she's smart and she's a tough negotiator. She handled the situation better than anyone could have with little harm coming to either of them. Now I'm hanging up. She can tell you the exact details. And Flynn, make sure she gets some rest this weekend. I don't want to hear from Major Crimes until Monday."
"Yes sir," Andy replied ending the call and placing his phone in his jeans pocket.
"Shit" Andy mumbled to himself. He stood there for a moment, uncertain of what to do next. His eyes were drawn down the hall where she had disappeared several minutes ago. Before he knew what was happening, he found himself standing in front of the bathroom door. He could hear the shower running, but it was something else that made his breath catch in his throat. Her muffled sobs could not be hidden, even by the sounds of cascading water. He rested his forehead against the bathroom door, closing his eyes he breathed deeply in and out trying to calm his flourishing emotions. He knew he couldn't go in, but he wanted to more than anything. Just the thought of her being alone and so upset, brought a sting of tears to his own eyes. Why did she have to be so damn stubborn? His phone sounded in his pocket and he hurried down the hall and into the kitchen before he pulled it from his pocket. Glancing at the screen, Provenza, he should have known.
"What you doing up so late old man?" Andy answered in a huff.
"Cut the bullshit! How's the Captain? I just heard what…"
"Who called you?" Andy interrupted.
"Taylor."
"I should'a known, he's the biggest gossip in the LAPD. She's okay. I mean, I guess. She's in the shower right now. We haven't really had a chance to talk yet."
"Where were you when all this was happening? I thought the two of you were having one of those non-date things."
"I fell asleep on her sofa. I didn't realize she wasn't home…"
"Well some boyfriend you're turning out to be. Call me in the morning and let me know how she's doing? This week has been hell on her, on all of us."
"Yeah, Yeah…Good night old man."
"Well at least you didn't deny dating her." Provenza chuckled before the line went dead.
Andy opens the refrigerator, deciding to make an omelet for dinner since it is so late. He is familiar with everything in Sharon's kitchen so it doesn't take long for him to get eggs and vegetables going in the pan. He hears a noise behind him and turns to find Sharon standing by the bar. Her hair is still damp and twisted in a knot on top of her head. She is wearing cropped black leggings and an oversized LAPD sweatshirt that he recognizes as his own. Her face is clean of makeup but her eyes are red and puffy from the tears she wept not long before.
"Hey. That smells good."
He turns the heat down lower and moves closer in front of her. "Is that my sweatshirt?" he asks, with a gleam in his eye and a lopsided grin on his face.
"Why yes, I believe it is…I...like to sleep in it, but if you need it back…"
"Oh no…I don't need it. It looks better on you anyway. Come here." He motions, before pulling her tightly into his arms. In bare feet she fits perfectly against his chest. He breathes in the smell of lavender and vanilla as he holds her tighter. "I'm not hurting you am I?"
"No, never…"
He pulls back from her and gently kisses her forehead. "Go, have a seat, the omelet is almost done and I have your tea ready."
"Can I use your phone? I want to text Rusty and let him know that I don't have my phone so he can text you this weekend if he needs me."
Andy reached into his pocket and handed her his phone, "Sure sweetheart."
Smiling, "That is the second time today that you have called me sweetheart."
"I…uhh…"
"I like it Andy. It's nice. I'm not upset by it."
"Oh, okay well then, sweetheart it is," he grinned.
Sharon settled in at the dining room table with her cup of tea. A few minutes later, Andy sat down and placed a rather large omelet and 3 pieces of toast between them. They ate in silence, occasionally smiling at each other. After eating not quite a third of the omelet and one piece of toast Sharon sat her fork to the side and stood lifting her tea cup with her. "That was delicious Andy. Can I get you some more tea?"
"No, I'm good. But I would have gotten that for you. You didn't have to get up."
"I need to move around a little. I don't want to get too stiff."
"Did the shower help? I talked to Taylor, he told me a little of what happen," the concern evident in his voice.
She moved behind him, rubbing her hand along his shoulder as she passed, "Some. It's just my shoulder and knee. Just some bruising, that's all."
He watched her intently as she moved across the room and out onto the balcony. Deciding to give her a minute, Andy cleared their plate and went into the kitchen to cleanup.
She stood on the balcony looking out over the city. He quietly moved behind her and drew her close. "I'm sorry I scared you tonight." She whispered, still looking out over the city. "Taylor wanted to call you to come get me but I wouldn't let him. I couldn't. I knew if you came, in one look you would see right through me and I…wouldn't be able to hold it together. Andy, if you could have seen the loss and despair in Paul Manning's eyes. It was…well…"
He placed a gentle kiss on the side of her cheek, "You don't have to hold it together now. You can lower this wall you have around yourself. You can let me in."
"I know, I want to…I really do, but…I'm scared…and I'm not scared of much."
"What are you scared of? Sharon, I…Love you…I've loved you for a long time now. I'm not going anywhere."
"It's not you, it's me…what if I push you a way…what if I'm not really who you think I am…what if I'm not good enough…"
He pulled away from her and turned her in his arms. She hung her head and wouldn't look at him, "Look at me. Damn it Sharon, look at me."
She glanced up, jade meeting chocolate, and for a moment she felt like her heart stopped. "Andy…I…Love you. I love you too. I just don't want to hurt you. I don't want to lose what we already have. You are my best friend…and if I mess this up and lose that…I don't know if…"
His lips crashed into hers drowning out the rest of her words and thoughts. Despite the ache in her shoulder, Sharon snaked her arms around his neck as he pulled her closer. Breaking the kiss, he lifted her carefully into his arms. He was surprised at how light and small she seemed. He carried her through the balcony door and after meeting her eyes and seeing her soft nod, he continued down the hall to her bedroom.
He sat on the bed, his back against the upholstered headboard and settled her comfortably in his lap. There was still much to be said and he didn't want her to feel rushed. It hurt and angered him to see this incredibly strong, independent woman so unsure and doubtful of the strength of her love. Damn Jack Raydor for hurting her so and stealing her ability to trust her heart.
"Andy?"
He placed his finger to her lips, "Sharon, neither of us is perfect. We both have made mistakes in the past, but we both have worked hard to get past those mistakes. I never dreamed that at this time in my life, at this age I would find someone that I can't live without. But I did, and she has been standing right in front of me for a long time. And I am not going to let you give up on us, give up on a life we both deserve because you're scared. I'm scared too, but we both have to find the courage to fight our fears and love each other. We deserve as much."
She scooted off the side of his lap and for a second he thought she was moving away from him. But she turned kneeling beside him on the bed so she could look him directly in the eyes. She reached up and gently traced her finger down his cheek. "What did I ever do to deserve you? You are the only person who has accepted me solely for who I am…And I love you for that. You make me feel like I've never felt before and yes that scares me…but I can't lose this either. I can't lose us."
She placed one hand on his shoulder and he lifted her to straddle his lap. She leaned in and captured his lips, soft at first and then hard with all the passion she had been holding back for all these months. Her mouth opened allowing his tongue to dance across her lips. Andy's hands made their way up under her sweatshirt and he was surprised to find her without a bra. He grazed the edge of her breast, soft at first, the moan escaping her mouth captured by his lips. A fire burned through her like she had never felt before, a fire that burned only for him, only for Andy. She pulled back from him, her hands resting on his chest to fiddle with the buttons there. "I love you Andrew Flynn and I trust you with my entire heart. I can't promise to never be scared, but I can promise that from today forward I will have the courage to never hide from you or your love."
Andy reached up and caught a tear that slowly escaped from her eye, "I love you Sharon Raydor and I trust you with my entire heart. And from today forward, we will find the courage together to fight our fears and always, always love each other, no matter what."
He pulled her to him, her head resting just above his heart and she knew in that moment with the sound of his heart beating strongly in her ear that together, they would be okay. This man would love her the way she deserved to be loved and give her the courage to love him back exactly the same way.
The End.