RFSP episode 6

Spirits

Synopsis: Halloween has arrived again in South Park and with it comes its own array of problems. Kyle needs a date to the Halloween dance that won't wind up breaking his heart, Stan tries to get Randy to play as Lorde for the dance, and Cartman and Wendy have a hard time deciding what they want their costume theme to be. And is it just Kenny's eyes, or are the ghosts of South Park's deceased suddenly starting to haunt him?

Spirits

Chapter 1-Dilemmas

A/N: And so here it is everyone! The 2015 Rad Fanon South Park Halloween Special! Hope you all enjoy!

"Sometimes it's hard to believe that that idiot is your father, you know that Stan?"

The four boys were waiting at their usual bus stop one morning when the subject of Halloween came up. Cartman reminded everyone that Halloween was only a few days away and that they needed a plan that wouldn't involve what had happened the previous year.

"Yeah my dad can be pretty stupid, as just about everyone knows." Stan replied to Kyle's comment. "But I guess I've just gotten used to it now. I just hope he's learned his lesson about buying Blockbuster stores."

As was common, Kenny wasn't saying much of anything that morning. But something about his usually silent nature seemed a bit off to his three friends. Kenny stood completely still as if in a trance.

"Um…Kenny?"

Cartman began snapping his fingers in front of his face to try and get his attention.

"Kenny, wake up!" Cartman yelled as he began to lightly slap Kenny, eventually causing Kenny to shove it aside.

"Dude, uh…are you OK?" Kyle asked when Kenny finally came to.

("I'm not sure….") the boy muffled through his clothing. ("For a minute there…I felt like I was…being watched.")

"Watched?" Stan asked. "You mean like, by a ghost or something?"

("Yeah…kind of…I don't know.")

Stan, Kyle, and Cartman just shrugged it off for the moment and returned to the earlier subject.

"So does anybody have any costume ideas or anything?" Kyle asked.

"Kyle, you should go as your mom!" Cartman replied in his mocking tone of voice. "Seriously Kyle, your mom's such a bitch sometimes that it even scares me!"

"Shut up fat ass!"

The two continued to bitch at each other for another minute or so while Stan and Kenny just looked on and rolled their eyes.

("So…any ideas?")

"Kenny, you wear a costume every day!" Cartman replied, eliciting a scowl from Kenny. "Besides, now that I think about it, we probably shouldn't have a theme."

"Why the hell not?"

"Because…uh…it's totally lame and that stuff is for little pussies like Butters, that's why." Cartman answered in a tone of voice that made it sound like he was clearly hiding something.

"What are you talking about? We did that last year!" Stan reminded Cartman. Kyle eventually got the message and donned a smug smirk.

"Oh I get it! You and Wendy are doing something aren't you?"

"Um, no *cough* why would we?"

"You totally are!" Kyle concluded with a smug grin.

"OK fine, whatever, we are, but why does that matter?"

("Well it kind of does dude. It could affect any idea we come up with.")

"Oh come on you guys, I can't be the only one." Cartman said as he looked at Stan. "Stan was the first of us to do it and I'll bet he and Bebe are coming up with a totally gay idea."

"Hell no, I swore off couple costumes since that incident with Wendy in third grade." Stan replied.

The bus showed up the moment Stan had finished his sentence. The quartet boarded with Stan and Kyle sitting together, Cartman sitting with Wendy, and Kenny by himself. Stan looked behind him and took note that Craig, Clyde, Token, and Jimmy were talking amongst themselves.

"Well whatever we dress up as, it better be better than Craig's gang." Stan said as he returned his focus to Kyle.

"Agreed."

"Ideas?"

"Something that doesn't involve a ninja star getting stuck in somebody's eye for starters."

A few seats ahead, Wendy and Cartman were unsuccessfully debating on what they should dress up as.

"Whatever we decide on, we are not being twin Chewbacca's OK?" Cartman asked Wendy. "Don't think I don't know about how you dissed Stan in 3rd grade."

Wendy giggled, remembering how she and Stan had originally planned to be Raggedy Ann and Andy for their first Halloween and how she had joined everyone else in a parade of Chewbacca costumes.

"All right children go ahead and take your seats I have an announcement to make." Mr. Garrison announced as his 4th grade class walked in the door.

"Kyle got expelled?" Cartman asked.

"Shut up fat ass!"

"Very funny Eric." Mr. Garrison sarcastically replied. "The school has decided to have a Halloween dance this year on Saturday night at 7 P.M. in the gym. Unfortunately we don't currently have any entertainment yet, so if you could find any it would be greatly appreciated."

"Dude its perfect!" Stan told his friends as they were waiting in line for lunch later in the day. "I could get my dad to play at the dance!"

"That's actually a pretty bad idea dude." Kyle replied.

Stan's face dropped. "Why?"

"The last time 'Lorde' tried to do a live performance, she wound up rubbing her clit on stage and then that record producer tried to kill her."

Stan thought about this for a minute. "Well…yeah…but you three are still the only ones outside of my family that knows that Lorde is my dad. Yeah, it took a while for my dad to get his reputation back after that concert, but if we could just…I don't know…get him to mouth the words or something, we should be fine this time!"

"Whatever dude, it's your family's funeral."

Cartman put his fingers to his chin in a thinking pose. "Hmm…that reminds me…what if we could-."

Kyle whipped around to cut him off, well aware of what he was trying to say. "Put a cork in it tubby butt! We do NOT need CartmanBra making a comeback! You hear me!"

"Gee Kyle, how much sand got in your vagina?"

"Damn it Cartman, I do not have sand in my vagina!"

"You might not, but your mom sure does."

Kyle shot him a death stare as the four boys entered the kitchen to get their lunch from Chef.

"Hello there children!" Chef greeted them like he usually did.

"Hey Chef." The four boys responded.

"How's it going?"

"Bad."

"Why bad?"

"I just realized that I need a date to the Halloween dance on Saturday." Kyle answered.

"Oh boy, here he goes on one of his Jew rants again." Cartman added.

Kyle ignored him and continued. "I need a girl that won't go with me as part of a set-up..." Kyle looked at Stan as he said that. "And it needs to be someone who doesn't wind up breaking my heart."

Chef thought about it for a minute. "I see…so what you need is a woman that doesn't want to start a relationship."

"Uh…yeah, basically."

"Well children, the difficulty of that can be compared to making sweet love with a woman. At times, she can be overly feisty and willing to do anything and she might not be willing to take her hands off of you. Others however, can be so stubborn that you need to be a master negotiator in order to get down with her. Here let me sing you a little song…."

"When the woman knows she wants you, but she's a bit 'fraid to let you know."

"That's when you got to move in on her, and let your words flow."

"Then you know what you need to do."

"You gotta tell her 'My, my, you look like you knew.'"

"And when she enters your room all nervous."

"You gotta tell her that you're at her service."

"And when-."

"OK, I think I get it dude." Kyle interrupted Chef.

"There, all better?" Chef asked him.

"I…I guess."

"Well, good luck then Kyle."

The boys grabbed their lunches and walked out to find their table.

"I'm screwed." Kyle stated.

Cartman snickered. "Looks like the Jew found another holiday to be lonely on."

("What the hell!?")

The other three looked at Kenny, wondering what the random outburst was about.

"What dude?"

("I swear I just saw a ghost or something!")

"Are you…feeling alright Kenny?" Stan asked.

("I'm not sure…why does this keep happening to me?")

Over at the girls table, the girls had found themselves in a tight situation as well…or at least one of them anyway.

It took a while for everyone else to notice that Red had zoned out on them.

"So what do you think Red?" Wendy asked the still unresponsive girl. "Red? Red!"

Red suddenly came back to reality. "Oh, sorry! What were you asking?"

"I wanted your opinion on what Cartman and I should dress up as for the dance this Saturday. We're both stumped."

"Something with lots of green." Red answered, suddenly not knowing why she said that.

"Green?"

"Yeah, like…The Incredible Hulk and She-Hulk!"

"Cartman was the Hulk last year."

"Oh…well I got nothing then."

The girls returned to their earlier topic about who was going with whom to the dance, causing Red to zone out on her friends once again.

"Nobody seems interested in me." Heidi sighed with a huge amount of disappointment in her voice.

"Don't say that!" Wendy said calmly in an attempt to cheer her up. "I'm sure there's someone out there that's got his eye on you!"

"Easy for you to say." Heidi replied. "How am I supposed to know if there are any?"

"They're probably just shy or something." Bebe chimed in. "That's kind of how Stan was when we first got together."

"But if everyone who likes me is shy, then they won't ask me!"

"Just give it time, that's all!" Wendy replied. "Besides, nobody said you had to go with someone."

"But if I go myself, I'll look like a loser!"

As Wendy kept trying to unsuccessfully cheer Heidi up, Bebe tried to ask Red who she'd want to go with.

"Are you going with anybody Red?"

Red was still out of it at that point and was completely oblivious to what was going on around her. She kept staring at something and her face almost looked like she was in a trance.

"Red? RED!" Bebe raised her voice a little as she began snapping her fingers in front of Red's face.

"Wha-! Oh, sorry. What did you want?"

"I said, are you going with anybody to the dance?"

"Not currently, no."

"Anybody you want to go with? I'm sure we can find somebody who would love to go with you!"

Red had once again locked herself in a trance of sorts.

"Red!" Bebe snapped her fingers again as Red got back to reality. "Why do you keep zoning out on us?" Bebe asked with the rest of the table now wondering the same thing.

"Oh…I don't know." Red asked in a tone of voice that indicated she really had no earthly idea why.

Wendy had no doubt in her mind as to what was going on in her brain. She glanced in the direction Red was staring at and noticed she was looking right at the boys table. The other girls started to look that way too.

"Ooohhh…I think someone's got a crush!" Bebe teased.

"No I don't!" Red denied.

"You don't have to be in denial, you know it'd be safe with us!" Heidi reminded her. "So, who is it? It's Clyde isn't it?"

"No."

The girls glanced at the boys again in an attempt to narrow down who Red had been admiring

"Is it Kenny?" Annie asked. "You have to admit, his hidden face does make him hot!"

"Kenny's too perverted for me."

"Butters?"

"No, he doesn't look good in green."

The rest of the girls immediately got very confused over that last sentence.

"Green?" Bebe asked. "Red, what the hell are you talking about? Butters NEVER wears anything green!" Bebe paused for a moment to think and soon enough, she had reached a conclusion. "Oh…I get it! It's Kyle!"

"Kyle?" Red asked.

"It has to be! Why else would you have thought that Butters wore green or that Wendy should dress up as She-Hulk for Halloween? You're in love with Kyle!"

"I…I am?"

Bebe's face suddenly dropped. "You don't know? That's kind of how crushes work."

"It's probably just now starting to bud." Wendy suggested. "For all we know, you've been subconsciously attracted to him for years now and you're just now starting to notice."

Red began to blush, realizing Wendy was right.

"Well…he has always looked cute with his hat off. But hasn't every girl he's ever been in love with broken his heart relatively quickly?"

"Well…." Wendy began. "Yes. What, are you afraid you'd do that to him?"

Red sighed. "A little. But what if I wind up having faked it all like Bebe?"

"Hey!" Bebe replied, having gotten a little offended. "I wasn't faking that!"

"Then why did you leave him for Clyde?" Wendy asked.

"Number one, that was your idea to set him up with me!" Bebe explained. "Number two, he was completely oblivious the entire time, so I don't think he was anywhere near emotionally hurt when I moved on from him. Number three, he wasn't into girls yet so there's no way I could have hurt him. And number four, while it's true I did have feelings for him, I never felt them again after I kissed him."

"So you're saying that you thought he'd be a great guy to be with but once you got the chance 'the fire had been put out'?"

"Yeah, basically."

Wendy turned back to Red. "Red, are you sure you like him?"

"I am now."

"Then go talk to him!" Wendy happily suggested. "If you want him to ask you then the best way to do that is to let him know how you feel!"

"But he's had enough bad experiences with girls!" Red reminded her. "What if he doesn't want to like me back for that very reason?"

"I can talk to him for you!" Bebe suggested.

"You'd do that for me?" Red asked as Bebe nodded.

"I'll let him know one way or another!"

"Oh Bebe, thank you!"

A/N: Kyle x Red anybody?

Anyway, Chapter 1 is done! I hope you like where this episode is going so far! And hopefully I'll have the rest up by Halloween (Saturday)

All reviews are appreciated!