"Gǒu shǐ! Every time this gāisǐ ship lands, something falls off!" As if to punctuate his words, a section of plating landed on the floor of the abandoned hangar with an echoing boom. Captain Dasin J. Ford was the pilot, cook, engineer, doctor, and munitions expert on the Prowler-class carrier ship 'The Dark.' (While there are multiple carrier classes, the Prowler is the smallest and only has enough landing space for one small fighter.)
Dasin's middle name was unknown to everyone except himself. Because of his many talents, the 'J.' had come to mean 'jack-of-all-trades.' He didn't complain. He was a private person, and didn't want people snooping into his personal life. He was also a smuggler, one of the best. The only reason the Alliance didn't hunt him down to kill him, or worse, was because he, unlike the other smugglers, worked for anybody and everybody, even the Alliance. His choice of clients wasn't the only thing that set him apart from other smugglers. His price changed for multiple reasons; chance of death, risk of angering potential enemy, cargo size, planned travel distance, trustworthiness of client, repair costs, and, if any, passengers.
Even though his ship was Prowler-class, he had built it himself. However, the repairs needed were far beyond Dasin's capabilities. So he flew his Stalker-class fighter, 'The Hell-Born,' to a little-known mechanic. After flying back and seeing the ship and its condition, the mechanic told Dasin that it would be hard to fix, not impossible, but it would take three weeks. Seeing as how a smuggler can't smuggle without a ship, the three weeks were uneventful, at the most.
After thanking and paying the mechanic, Dasin flew to Anchorage, the hub of not necessarily legal jobs. Haven was the legal center and Anchorage was, not only a ghost story, but also the illegal center. Haven was the Alliance 'command center', while Anchorage was the Smugglers'. Dasin didn't have a Contact on Anchorage. Contacts were the people, if they could be called that, who arranged jobs for smugglers. Although many smugglers shared Contacts, there were a few Contacts that worked for one smuggler crew. Ninety nine percent of all Contacts are usually rude, don't give all of the information, and have (charge) a massive price. (Dasin met with his clients in-person, or not, depending on the secrecy of the job.)
His latest client, a Baron Yasser von Lichtenstein, had sent an envoy to escort Dasin from Anchorage to Tasseldor, the fifth largest estate/planet in the Alliance. Meandering through the dirty streets of Anchorage to the spaceport, Dasin had a sinking suspicion that he knew who his escort was. As Dasin checked the sign to double-check his location, he loaded his pistols, Ebony, Ivory, Yin, and Yang. He remembered what had happened last time he was on the Firefly-class ship Serenity, captained by Malcolm Reynolds. Mal was a force to be reckoned with when he was angry. Dasin didn't understand why Mal was always annoyed with him. Who is the escort? Not a clear connection…
'And since when has he done escorts?' thought Dasin. He had barely finished said thought when a colorful bundle of joy, a parasol, and auburn hair flung itself at him. Catching her, Dasin burst out laughing, "Kaylee, you brat! Do you always assualt your guests?" Kaylee was the engineer of Serenity. She had always been a little jealous of Dasin, making his own working ship and all. Hearing laughter, the rest of the crew strolled out.
Jayne, the munitions expert, was first. "Dasin! Thanks for fixing Vera! And for giving me that chain!" Jayne had named all of his guns. No one knew why.
Simon and River Tam, doctor brother and morbid and creepifying sister, were next. "Simon. Taking care of her?"
"I only have trouble when she turns into a ship."
"Oh, I wasn't talking about River."
Simon blushed and muttered, "I think I left the sink running." as he dashed back inside of Serenity.
Chuckling, River responded with "Yes. He's taken care of both of us."
"That's good to hear."
When Shepherd Book came out he commented on Simon's 'redder than a beet' face. "How is it being this flock's shepherd?"
"Well, at first I tried to help them get closer to God. Now I don't care what they believe, as long as they believe."
Inara was the most graceful of the crew. She glided down the loading ramp to Dasin. Taking her hand, he bent over it, saying "Madam Ambassador. What an honor." Inara smiled, sighed, and shook her head, for she had told him before to call her by her name.
Wash and Zoe were second and third to last. "Oh, did I thank you for the dinosaur?" Wash kept a collection of plastic dinosaurs on the (control panel).
Zoe, Wash's wife answered for Dasin, saying "Yes dear. You almost cracked his ribs with that hug, if I remember correctly, because it was the last one you needed." Zoe had served in the Unification War as a Browncoat, alongside
"Mal. What a pleasure to see you again." Everyone fell silent as Malcolm Reynolds stalked down the ramp. "I brought a parachute in case you decide to drop me out of the ship again." There were several badly concealed snickers.
"You think you're funny?"
"I think I'm adorable." The snickers brought on by this remark were less concealed. After a minute, Mal, without taking his eyes off Dasin, told his crew, "Load up. Now."
After everyone else was aboard, Mal said quietly to Dasin, "Try anything like that again, and a parachute won't help." He then stalked away. "Seriously though, I brought cookies." Dasin found it usually helped if he brought some sort of gift. Money was good, weapons and ammo were better, parts were great, and food worked wonders.
Before his mind could catch up with his mouth, Mal asked "What kind?" Silently cursing himself, Mal looked away. Dasin accepted this as a silent victory. "Strawberry for Kaylee. Iced for Wash and River. Jayne gets cream sandwiches. Healthy-" Here Dasin shuddered and Mal grimaced. "-cookies for Simon, Inara likes chocolate-chip. Shepherd gets flat-out chocolate, and you get sugar cookies." Mal's stomach grumbled in anticipation.
"Alright, get on board quick." An hour later they were all gathered around the kitchen table, watching Book, Dasin, Kaylee, Jayne, and Simon, well, mostly Dasin and Kaylee play poker. On Serenity, they played with 'don't have to do chores cards', not money. Dasin's poker face could make stone statues blink, while Kaylee was just happy and bouncy all the time, so no one knew if they should call her bluff or not. Inara laughed as Dasin won another round. "He's not even part of the crew!"
Mal, Jayne, and Simon all glared at Inara and growled, all at the same time, "We know."
Kalee stood up for him by saying "Well, that doesn't mean he can't have fun!"
Dasin was struggling to hide his smirk behind his cards. "What, you gonna drop me out of the cargo bay again, Mal?" Mal muttered, with dark humor, "Don't tempt me."
At the end of the poker game, Wash announced over the intercom, "We're about to hit the atmosphere! Strap in!" As the ship landed with a bump, Dasin laughed "That was fun!"
"WELCOME! Welcome to my humble home!" was the deafening entrance the crew got when they walked in the front doors. "Now, which one of you is Dasin?"
"Dasin. Sir." Mal and company wondered how anyone could make the word 'sir' could sound insulting. However, the baron rumbled on, not catching the subtle venom dripping from Dasin's voice. "Yes, yes. Well, I want a member of the Alliance to disappear. Permanently."
"Let me get this straight. You dragged me out to the opposite side of the galaxy, just to tell me to kill someone? Gǎo shénme guǐ! If you're going to be that stupid, hire someone else." The baron's face turned a dark purple as he motioned for his guards to attack Dasin. Within a minute, all the guards were on the floor gasping for breath, their guns shredded. "I don't like threats Mr. Lichtenstein."
Turning towards Mal, he shrugged with an apologetic look on his face. Before Dasin could step out of the door, Baron Yasser shouted "How are you going to get off this planet when your ship is on a different one?!" If looks could kill, the entire manor would be gone.
Dasin said "What makes you think that?" as 'The Hell-Born' landed behind him. "You see Lichtenstein, the person you wanted dead hired me before I even got planetside on Anchorage. Now, Mal, you should start running." Dasin waited until he could hear the roar of Serenity's engines fade to say, "Fire." And thus was the end of Baron Yasser von Lichtenstein, a fat, greedy, pig of a man.