See end of chapter for notes.

Sehnsucht (n.): German. "The inconsolable longing in the human heart for we know not what"; a yearning for a far, familiar, non-earthly land one can identify as one's home

Chapter One: An Ending

In Which a Career Comes To an Abrupt Close

Wind rustled through the highest tree branches and sent wisps of cloud scudding across the sickle shaped moon. Leaves chased after, weaving through and among themselves in fantastic patterns. Far below, the Tanaka estate lay silent, windows boarded against the threatening storm and the threat of thieves. Three days previous, a note had been found attached to the headboard of the master bedroom, warning that the mystical Poison's Bane, safely locked in the Tanaka vaults, had become the target of thieves. Such threats would have been dismissed were it anything else pinning the note in place, and not a rose.

Now, two shadows perched on the roof of the main house, watching the newly-hired guards patrol the outer walls. The promised thieves had come.

"They're worried," one shadow murmured to the other. "Tanaka-san has certainly spared no expense on protection." The man sounded pleased, rather than concerned.

"Not sure what else you expected when you left them a literal invitation."

What little moonlight there was glinted on fang as he flashed a grin at his partner. "Where's the fun, otherwise? They've tripled the guard. Now this might actually be a challenge." The grin tilted sideways into ruthless mischief. "I bet I can kill more than you."

The second man laughed almost soundlessly. "Usual terms?"

"But of course." A thicker cloud flowed across the moon, casting the estate into total darkness for a few seconds. When it passed, both shadows had disappeared.

Roughly two-dozen guards and four-dozen mercenaries noticed nothing as the two thieves slipped into the main house and towards the door to the vault. Here they encountered the first hint of troubles to come: the door was papered over with seals, black kanji stark against the white paper.

"More nervous than I expected," the first said. Silver hair glinted in the torchlight as he raised one hand towards the door, clawed fingertips scant inches from the wood. "This is Reikai make, if I'm not mistaken."

"Thirty seconds until the next guard rounds that corner, Kurama," the second said, head tilted to one side as he listened intently. "Stop admiring the damned seal and break it already."

"The moment I do, alarms will sound. I wonder what Tanaka-san forked over to Reikai in return for this…"

"Twenty-five seconds."

"Fine. Switch." The pair exchanged places seamlessly, the darker shadow kneeling at the door and fishing a thin bundle of cloth from a pouch at his waist. The first took his place as guard, furry ears a shade darker than his hair swiveling as he listened.

Selecting two strips of metal—one long and oddly bent, the other thin and hooked—the thief set about picking the lock in tense silence.

Light spread upon the far wall, footsteps drowning out the soft click as the lock at last gave way. Without hesitation, both thieves slipped into the treasure room and closed the door behind them. Each man pressed an ear to the door, listening to the heavy footsteps as the pair of guards passed.

"Does this mean you admit I'm better at picking locks than you?" one said when the footsteps had faded.

"Not a chance, Kuronue." They exchanged quick grins, stepping further into the room. The vault was a small, windowless room, only a few paces across. A few scattered candles illuminated thieves and treasures, glimmering in eyes and jewels alike, washing hair and fine silk in highlights and shadow. Indeed, both intruders were handsome men, well matched to the beautiful and dangerous things they stole. Both wore their hair long; both stood tall; both were built for speed and agility rather than brute strength; both moved with silent grace. There the similarities ended.

Kurama's hair hung loose in a sheet of moonlight silver down his back and was crowned with pointed fox ears, the matching tail half hidden by the folds of his clothing. He wore white: a wrapped tunic, loose trousers, cloth slippers, and a belted sash, elegant in their simplicity. Amber-gold eyes surveyed the world from a pale, pointed face. Others often called the fox vain, or arrogant, but he dismissed it. He was beautiful, and brilliant, and there was no shame in being self-aware.

In contrast, Kuronue wore his midnight dark hair in a high tail that burst out of his hat—a ripped, wide-brimmed affair that he'd originally picked up as a trophy off some human witch he'd killed and kept because Kurama had more than once called it disgraceful and ratty. He wore no shirt, instead preferring a black leather vest that allowed his long, black wings their freedom. His arms were wrapped in straps of more leather. His trousers were tight, closer to leggings than pants, and half covered with knee high, sturdy boots. A long swathe of light blue fabric gathered and tied off at one hip covered the rest, and the ensemble was topped off with a necklace: a blood red jewel in a simple silver setting. He wasn't quite as pale (or classically, aristocratically handsome) as his partner, but he had half an inch on the fox that he never let him forget and which made up for any discrepancies as far as he was concerned.

The pair had been partners for centuries, and friends for almost as long. What one lacked, the other lent—when one faltered, the other supported. Their fame grew with each successful heist, and they remained near the top of Reikai's Most Wanted.

"Now," Kurama said, tapping one clawed finger against his lips. "Where is it..."

It took mere seconds for the thieves to locate their prize. The Poison's Bane was a serving tray made of gold, trimmed with intricately shaped faces and bones. Kurama found it stashed behind one of the chests, half covered in dust. Kuronue was less than impressed.

"We're risking our lives for a shiny clipboard?"

Kurama raised one eyebrow. "It can detect when tainted food is served upon it," he pointed out, wiping the dust from its face and spinning it in his hands to inspect. "I want to study the method it uses: whether it can detect sickness, if it is limited to toxins, if it's possible to apply that method to other things, if so, how, and, of course, how to circumvent it."

"I stand corrected," Kuronue sighed. "We're risking our lives for a shiny, magical clipboard." He pressed one sensitive ear to the door, listening for any guard. "You're such a nerd."

"Kuro—"

"If it's possible to apply that method to other things, and if so, how," Kuronue mimicked quietly, shooting a shameless grin at the fox. "You know I love you, Kurama, but seriously. Nerd."

"Shut up!"

"We're stealing supplies for your science project. Shiny supplies. Expensive, valuable supplies. But supplies."

Kurama propped the serving tray on one hip and jabbed a finger at the door. "We're not done, yet. Focus."

Stifling another laugh, Kuronue lazily waved him off. "Focusing, focusing." There was silence for a few seconds. "It's clear."

"Good," Kurama said, and followed Kuronue into the corridor.

The instant the thieves crossed the threshold with prize in hand, alarms sounded. The thieves broke into a run—pausing to curse or in surprise could be fatal. A pair of kusarigama shimmered into existence in Kuronue's grip, and he flung one out with a flick of the wrist. A window several yards down the corridor shattered. Without slowing, Kurama dived out the gap and into a forward flip, one arm tucking their prize to his chest, the other reaching up to his hair. He landed and sprung forward once again, racing towards the outer walls. His free hand caught and pulled, a thorny vine emerging from his hair and lashing through three guards who had been foolish enough to stop him. Blood and gore spilled out into the night, but not a drop landed upon the fox's clothes.

A beat behind his partner, Kuronue leapt up onto the window sill and used it as a launch board into the night sky, wings spread wide and fixed for gliding. Kuronue surfed the air currents for a few seconds, touched down in front of the fox for barely a breath before springing up again. The blades of his short-handled scythes glittered in the moonlight as he flung them down and ahead, slicing two more guards as they approached.

The pair matched pace as easy as thought, Kuronue soaring overhead as their vanguard, Kurama keeping his attention on the plants covering their retreat. They reached the outer wall in five minutes flat, just in time for the first wave of arrows. Kuronue dived down, landing in front of his partner, calling up a swirl of wind to throw the first barrage off course. Kuronue linked his fingers together and braced himself as Kurama put one foot into the makeshift step and let himself be launched high into the air and onto the high outer wall. The whip lashed out to clear the walkway of nearby guards as Kuronue sprung up to join him, using his wings to gain the extra height needed, and landed a split second before another hail of arrows, these from a group of archers still within the compound. Kuronue cursed himself for his carelessness. Archers were his job, given the control he had over air. The small squad must have lain low, using their comrades as a distraction in order to escape notice and seize this thin chance. "Kurama!" he yelled the warning even as he landed and the winds spun around him, knowing he wouldn't manage all of them.

"Understood." For the first time since the alarm had been set off, the fox paused, straightening and glaring back towards the compound. With a shout, he flung one hand out, then down, and twenty odd arrows—dropped. As did Kuronue's jaw.

"How did you—"

The little quirk of Kurama's mouth was an expression that, to Kuronue's knowledge, only he had ever seen. It was the one that said Oh, good, I wasn't entirely certain that would work. Still, when he spoke, it was with the same arrogant confidence he always did. "Arrow shafts are made of wood. Wood is a plant. I can't reliably manage to control them because of their speed, but under certain circumstances…"

Kuronue whistled between his teeth. "Certain circumstances like panic?" He had felt the ki wash out and down, completely unlike Kurama's usual slow-growth-on-speed impeccable control. Still. Seizing control of bits of pointy wood flying at your face was… well. "Not to pad your ego or anything, Kurama, but you're kind of a genius."

"Thank you, I kn—" The comment cut off in a strangled grunt. Kurama staggered, hand clutching reflexively at the black arrow embedded in his thigh.

"Kurama!"

"It's fine," he insisted, straightening again. His eyes were tight with pain and flat with anger. The offending archers were on the grounds now, visible and vulnerable. Kurama reached again, clawed fingers slowly tightening into a fist, and the carefully manicured lawns of the Tanaka estate were turned into a miniature forest of bamboo, swallowing the archers.

Kuronue grinned. "Vindictive, much?"

"If anything, bamboo is harder to stop growing." Kurama shrugged. "And it's everywhere around here. Besides, that hurt." The last word was almost a whine. Kuronue ducked under one arm and up, using his momentum and Kurama's momentary distraction to get them both off the damn wall before something else went wrong.

Kurama braced himself on the landing, only letting a grunt of pain to escape. They didn't have more than a few minutes before the guards fought their way through Kurama's bamboo grove. Kuronue still dragged him under momentary cover, kneeling to examine the arrow. "I'll have to cut it," he warned, beginning to tear off the edge of his sarong for a bandage. It would be slap-dash and messy, but it would stop the bleeding long enough to get them to the den where Kurama could treat it properly. "How many did you get?"

"Twenty-two was my last count."

"Seventeen, you mean. Five man handicap, you set off the alarm," Kuronue reminded him, gripping the arrow with one hand. "Press down."

"Twenty-seven not including the handicap, twenty-two including it," Kurama said. He followed the directions with a wince, gasping as Kuronue sliced through the shaft as close to the skin as he could. "You?"

"Damn, I only got twenty-one. You win." Kuronue grinned. "One confession and-slash-or admission is yours. I-promise-to-tell-the-truth-the-whole-truth-and-nothing-but-the-truth, etcetera."

"Admit I'm not a nerd."

"Can't, that's a retraction of a previous statement and not the truth."

Kurama scowled at him briefly, but Kuronue was very good at recognizing the difference between Kurama's I'm about fifteen seconds from turning you into fertilizer scowl and I'm angry because I'm trying not to laugh scowl. "I'll think of something later, then." The momentary amusement faded as Kuronue started bandaging the leg. He was almost done when he finally spoke again. "We're getting more important."

"Yeah? How do you figure?"

"Reikai interference. The door was warded, and those archers trained professionally. I suspect the SDF involved themselves, and you know they hate demons on principle. They'd never agree to work with Tanaka unless they had something more valuable to gain from it. And what did they have to gain tonight but us?"

"Huh. You're probably right." 'Probably' nothing, Kurama usually was, but he'd already called the fox a genius once tonight. "We should probably go to ground for a while, cover our tracks enough to get that wound properly treated, then head back to the den—"

"I can run," Kurama said.

Kuronue raised an eyebrow. "You'd say that whether it was true or not."

"I. Can. Run." Kurama repeated, narrowing his eyes.

"Fine, you can run," Kuronue said, grabbing his arm and tugging him along. There was just no arguing with Kurama when he got like this. "Still got your science project?"

Kurama tilted it, what little moonlight there was gleaming along its surface. "Let's go."

So they ran, barely half a minute before the gates of the fortress opened, spilling demons with torches and spears and more thrice-damned arrows, all shrieking and screaming in pursuit. Kuronue snarled, sending gusts of wind back to cover their retreat as best he could. He trusted Kurama. He did. If the fox said he could run, he would. He'd keep up.

Except he could hear Kurama's pained, uneven breathing, and he could hear his footsteps falling behind. Kuronue turned, ready to go back and carry the stubborn fool if he had to, but—

A flash of reiki: side, not behind, how had they been flanked? A scream: pain, rage, defiance, terror, I will not die here mingled with run! The smell of burning blood. Empty amber-gold eyes, pupils blown wide with death.

It took three hours for the fury to fade enough for Kuronue to hear anything more than the blood in his ears. Logically, he knew this meant the red hazing his vision should recede now, too, but it didn't. It took a few moments for him to realize the red wasn't leaving because the red wasn't his blood.

"Looks like I won that bet after all, fox…" Not that it really mattered. Judging by the tattered remains of the uniforms (the bodies were completely unidentifiable), Kurama had been right. The SDF had been involved, and they had set up a trap almost perfectly. Even if they'd escaped unscathed from the estate, they would have been ambushed before they'd gone more than a league. Neatly done, and it half-worked. Youko Kurama was dead.

Kuronue picked up the body and considered the pros and cons of joining him.

Glossary:

-san: respectful honorific used to address someone of unspecific but greater authority, or someone of your standing that you don't know very well; something like "Mr." or "Ms." in English. Kurama here is using it sarcastically.

Reikai: "Spirit World." The realm where Koenma and Botan work and live.

kusarigama: A chain scythe. Most commonly a long handled scythe with a moderately curved blade attached to a long chain. A more accurate image of a kusarigama can be seen in InuYasha; Kohaku's weapon of choice is a kusarigama. I don't know what Kuronue uses in the movie, but this is the closest thing to an actual weapon I can find, and has been used by one or two other fic authors. Kuronue's scythes have larger, wider blades and a much sharper curve; the handle is also much shorter.

reiki: spirit energy; the energy used by agents of Reikai and humans; Botan, Kuwabara, Genkai, and Yusuke (pre-Chapter Black) all use reiki to fuel their attacks or (in the case of Genkai and Botan) healing abilities.

A note on Japanese as related to this fic:

When I first discovered anime, I had a tendency to stick random Japanese into whatever fic I wrote purely for the pleasure of showing off what snippets of vocabulary I had picked up from watching subs or reading entirely too much fanfiction. Older and, presumably, wiser, I do not feel comfortable doing this anymore. When I first started this rewrite I had every intention of avoiding Japanese entirely and using only the "official" translations as seen in the dubbed anime or the licensed manga. Except the more I wrote, the more uncomfortable this made me. There are Japanese subtleties that English lacks, and vice-versa. After talking it over with a pair of very good, very old friends, (hi, guys! Thank you for once again indulging my obsessions!) I reached a compromise.

Instead of using an awkward English translation, I will use the Japanese word in italics. I will also use the Japanese format for names (family name first) and honorifics. A glossary will be included at the end of each chapter, should you not recognize a Japanese word (though most are used pretty commonly in this fandom, or can be deduced by context). However, I will not be using any Japanese words that DO have a straightforward English equivalent, especially in dialogue: no baka, no ahou, etc. Hopefully my decision makes some sense to most.

A note on this fic in general:

This is a rewrite of a story originally penned from 2007-2009 titled This is How You Remind Me. The only similarities are that Kurama died instead of Kuronue, and Minamino Shuuichi has no memory of ever being Youko Kurama. If you are absolutely curious about the sort of writing I produced during sophomore and junior year of high school (when the fic was primarily written), feel free to investigate. It is immature at the very best, and I'd much rather you stick with me on this story, but if you have to know, I won't (and can't) stop you. I'm leaving the fic up purely for archival purposes. Unlike my former attempt, I've actually outlined this fic and know the direction I want it to take. Between that and having written almost 25K words for it in two weeks (which is how long it was originally), I feel much, much more confident in my ability to actually finish this one.

The original version was slash (or yaoi, as you prefer) between Kurama and Kuronue. This rewrite probably will be as well, but the romance is definitely not meant to be the focus of it, and will take a very long time to build. All other pairings will be canon.

Obligatory disclaimer: Yu Yu Hakusho is the intellectual property of Togashi Yoshihiro, Shueisha Inc, Fuji Television, Yomiko Advertising, Studio Pierrot, Viz, and Funimation Entertainment (phew!). I have no genuine authority whatsoever over these characters. I'm just borrowing them.

And finally, obligatory begging for reviews! If you liked the first chapter, drop me a line; I'm friendly and opinionated and love to talk shop when it comes to writing and stories. Tell me what you liked, what you didn't like, if I made you laugh. Talk to me! I try my best to message back if you leave a signed review; if it's anon, I'll answer it in the next chapter.

I plan to update once a week, and right now I have enough material for two months, so expect regular updates for at least that long!