Azrael: YO, new fic.
Naru: Shouldn't you work on your other ones?
Naruto: LIKE MINE?
Azrael: I'm reconstructing yours.
Naruko: And mine?
Azrael: Writers block. Now go appease the tribe with the author's note dumbass or Rei's coming out.
Naruto: Fine fine.
A/N: My third Naruto fic and second FemNaru. As like my other story (at first) this is more of a test trial and will update if I get good responses or if I get off my lazy ass and write it. As for pairings a yuri can work (and if you're reading Kage Husha Hinata is a definite candidate, and a real good one) though I'm considering bisexuality as it does fit her personality in a sense. Anyways enjoy!
Naruto: There, now sacrifice me as usual.
Azrael: Nah, they're calm now.
Naruto: How the hell did you managed that?
Outside were two figures labeled Pein and Minato being sacrificed.
Disclaimer: You know the legal crap. I don't own jack and no point suing someone who's flat broke. No point suing someone who can sic a blue haired tree hugging psycho on you either.
Legend
"…normal…"
"…thoughts…"
Chapter 01: Introducing Uzumaki Naru: Lazy-Ass Ninja of Konoha
The Academy, the starting point of all ninjas. Here aspiring ninjas train here with the hopes that they may become accomplished ninjas. Though more often than not they never expect their aspiring ninjas to be…well for the lack of better words…different.
"NARUKO, PAY ATTENTION!" yelled Iruka.
"Ugh…do I have to?" said Naru groggily.
"I'm announcing teams here so stop snoring!"
"Fine fine."
Uzumaki Naru (full name Naruko but most people call her Naru) is by no means an ordinary girl. Hell she's no generic Uzumaki Naruto. For starters she's lazy, carefree, and always in an I-don't-really-care-about…well-anything attitude. She also lives up to the meaning of Naru in that whatever insult, complement, etc., that people throw at her it bounces off of her like an echo.
Her light blonde hair goes as far as her lower back and tied in a low ponytail while her sides are braided and covered in cloth. Other notable features include her dark blue eyes, usually either in a daze or sleepy or in a less-than-eager-about-anything look, behind purple wire-framed glasses. Even though she's the type to openly turn down any form of flirting towards her with fearful (and by fearful I mean they are scared of her) annoyance in the form of passiveness she is undoubtedly the most wanted and cutest girl in the class. And because of that the boys (and some girls) organized their own (secret) Naru Fan Club; with a few of them having a meganekko fetish (they're in the Konoha Megane Lovers Club).
Her clothes consist of a simple sleeveless shirt with blue pants and earrings. The blade that she carries around though is unique in the fact that it's dull, rusted, chipped, old, and well beyond the point that it can be maintained. The only reason she keeps it around is because not only is there's something special about it or that it hasn't broken in pieces when anything comes in contact with it but that it was her mother's prized possession and the last thing that has any connection to her.
Anyways…
"Team Seven, consisting of Uchiha Sasuke, Inuzuka Kiba, and Tachibana Chikara, your instructor will be Enryuu Itoko." declared Iruka.
"Oh great, I'm with the Uchiha?" groaned Chikara.
Tachibana Chikara, as her name says, is bright and energetic but also prone to violent moods due to her hobby of watching violent movies. Along with her fraternal twin brother Chikoku (in detail later) and Naruko they make up the kenjutsu practitioners in the class. Other traits include her Chinese-style clothing, her unique figure, and her heterochromatic eyes (blue on her left and red on the other). In terms of other abilities her skills in feminine things in general range from terrible to craptastically horrible.
"You got a problem with me Tachibana?" said Sasuke.
"You damn right, I rather be with Naru and Nii-sama." said Chikara.
"Whatever." brooded Sasuke.
"Team Eight, consisting of Hyuuga Hinata, Haruno Sakura, and Yamanaka Ino, your instructor will be Yuuhi Kurenai." declared Iruka. Only thing worth noting is that Hinata is a closet lesbian/pervert in denial and Sakura openly admits she doesn't like Sasuke.
"SCORE! I'M NOT WITH UCHIHA!" yelled Inner Sakura.
"Team Ten, consisting of Nara Shikamaru, Aburame Shino, and Akimichi Chouji, your instructor is Sarutobi Asuma…Team Fourteen, consisting of Uzumaki Naruko, Tachibana Chikoku, and Sanada Yoshihiro…where's Tachibana and Sanada and NARUKO WILL YOU PLEASE WAKE UP!" yelled Iruka.
"ZZZ…OW!" Naru snoozed before she slipped off her hand and landed hard on the table.
"Yo, where's Team Seven." said a voice. Everyone looked to the window to see what appears to be a 12 year-old girl with a hitai-ate worn on her. "Name Enryuu Itoko so come over here Team Seven."
Enryuu Itoko may act mature but often she's twisted and loves to screw around with people's heads, traits carried over from her mother. Though the most striking feature about her is that…
"Dude, she's 12!" yelled out a random student.
…she hasn't aged since she was 12, which makes it tough for her since she's really 26. And it really makes it annoying that she can't drink without somebody lecturing her or that her tolerance is the equivalent of a 12-year old. And even worse is that not only can she get a date but she's also a virgin. Of course she still has her health and her abilities are well beyond Jonin capable.
Among the comments said…
"Is she's really my teacher? Don't make me laugh. She's too short to be one!" scoffed Kiba.
"She's too weak to be my teacher." said Sasuke.
"My recommendation is to leave right now Inuzuka and Uchiha because Itoko hate that kind of insults." said Naru passively.
"Why?" Both said.
"3…2…1…"
Immediately Itoko went in front of Sasuke and grabbed his head. She then went in front of Kiba and grabbed his head. She then gave both of them a fierce vice grip.
"Ooh the Iron Claw. We haven't seen that in a while." said Chikara gleefully.
"Is that even acceptable Jonin teacher qualities?" was on everybody's (except Naru and Chikara) mind. Another thought in everyone's mind was Itoko's resemblance to Naru, especially the fact she could be her younger sister (Naru does look a little older).
"Yo Naru, are you any way related to that Itoko?" asked Shikamaru while the other students listened on.
"Itoko is my itoko (cousin, and take an easy guess where I got the pun from)." said Naru which confused everyone who heard.
"Now now Itoko-senpai, there's no need to use force." said Iruka.
"UNCLE! UNCLE!" yelled and struggled both Kiba and Sasuke.
"Good. Now meet me at Training Ground 12 Chikara. Oh and Naru, we're having curry tonight." Itoko jumped out of the classroom with Sasuke and Kiba under her grip. Chikara followed her.
"Nice." said Naru passively, though it's tough to tell if she's thrilled about it.
"Yo, where the hell is is Uzumaki Naruko." yelled out a Jonin from the doorway while dragging what appears to be a sleeping boy looking exactly like Chikara and another boy unconscious from what it appears to be multiple pails to the head.
"Ah, you found Chikoku and Yoshihiro Ken-san." said Iruka.
Gekiretsu Kengeki, Ken for short, is a man of 25 who carries a curved dao with a disc shaped guard on his belt with a kris dagger on the back of his pants. Notable traits include a scar running down his left eye and tribal tattoos on his left arms going across his chest. In terms of clothes his Jonin vest is nothing more than a green ragged opened vest with nothing under, san bandages, with ragged blue pants on, giving him an appearance of a thug. Also of note is the broken cigarette in his mouth and his thumb that he uses as a lighter.
"This one was flat-out sleeping in the middle of the hallway while this one got knocked out by wooden pails." said Ken.
"Ugh, Ero-Yoshi was peeping again?" said the whole (female) student body.
"It wasn't…my fault…" groggily said Yoshi.
"Zzz…nee-sama…5 more minutes…" snoozed Chikoku.
Tachibana Chikoku is Chikara's (younger) twin brother but unlike her he's serious, often late (as his name implies), and frequently sleeps (he's a narcoleptic and is the main reason why he's late). Besides a kenjutsu practitioner he wears more loose-fitting clothing, has heterochromatic eyes (blue on his right, red on the left), and is the only one who can stomach his sister's bad cooking without going to the hospital. More often than not people often confuse him with his sister (minus the eyes they're practically alike despite being fraternal) which annoys him to no end. His high quality skills in feminine things don't help either.
Sanada Yoshihiro though can pass off as Jiraiya's perfect apprentice with the added ability to guess a girl's measurements with supreme accuracy. Unlike Jiraiya though he does not peep at other girls as he's an honorable pervert. Unfortunately his terrible sense of direction often leads
to places he does not want to go (hot springs, bathhouses, etc.) which is usually the reason why girls, including Naru, hates him.
"Can we make this quick, this is getting boring." said Naru.
"Yeah, meet me on the roof."
--
"Let's go with introducing ourselves. Name's Gekiretsu Kengeki, Ken for short. I really don't know what I like and I have no clue what I hate. My hobbies are not of your concern and I guess I have no dreams." Ken said though no one was paying attention since Chikoku is still asleep, Naru is reading a book (i.e. Romance of the Three Kingdoms…and I so want to read it…) with locked green eyes, and Yoshihiro is partially unconscious. "Damn it all." Picking up a rock he threw it at Chikoku.
"Ow, son of a…" Chikoku swore before taking a look at his surroundings. "Where the hell am I?"
"On top of the roof. Name's Ken and I'm your Jonin teacher. Now introduce yourself before I chuck this big one." Ken said while holding up a big rock labeled For Annoyances Only.
"Fine. I'm Tachibana Chikoku. My likes include sleeping and cooking. I really hate it when people confuse me for a girl. My hobbies are daydreaming and thinking of various scenarios in my head. My dream is to live out my days mastering The Art of Life." said Chikoku.
"Good." Ken then threw a rock at Yoshihiro, though wasn't required since he's fully conscious now.
"You didn't have to throw it." complained Yoshi as he rubbed his aching head.
"Yeah, I just felt like it. Introduce yourself."
"I'm Sanada Yoshihiro. Most people know what I like. I hate when people confuse me for a regular run-of-the-mill perv (I'm freaking honorable) and that my lack of sense of direction leads me to places I don't want to go to. My hobbies are writing and my dream is to one day become the ultimate adult lit. writer ever!"
"Jeez." He then threw the For Annoyances Only rock at Naru but she catches it easily. He did catch her attention. "Introduce yourself brat."
"Name's Sadojima Akari. I like reading, I hate being disturbed, my hobby is reading, and my dream is own a library now shut up I'm reading." 'Akari' said. Chikoku gave her a two finger strike while taking her book.
"Turn back to Naru Akari." Chikoku said.
"…ch, whatever. Uzumaki Naruko. I don't feel like telling you what I like, I'm not motivated to tell you what I hate, I'm too lazy to tell you my hobbies, and my dreams are something I'm not interested to tell you." Naru said uninterested.
"Here." Chikoku said while handing her back her book. Immediately she reverted to Akari.
"I got a Perv, a narcoleptic, and an unmotivated female version of a Nara with Multiple Personality Disorder. Kakashi wasn't kidding when he didn't choose to become a Jonin teacher this year. Forget the teamwork training; they need further proof if they deserve to be ninjas. Okay so far my analysis of you guys is that…YOU'RE ALL FREAKING USELESS!"
"And this is news how?" said Akari.
"Since none of you have any potential of being Genin, we're starting back from square one and testing whether or not you deserve to be Genin."
"So, the academy all over again?"
"Nope, Ken's Academy for the Useless/Marine Corp. Style Boot Camp. Once I'm done with you your own spirits will yearn for even Ibiki's torture." exaggerated Ken.
"Ibiki?" asked Yoshi.
"Konoha's Interrogation Specialist. Not very intimidating." Akari said.
"Anyways meet me there at 0700 hours. Dismissed." Ken disappeared in a cloud of smoke.
"See you tomorrow Naru." said Chikoku.
"Yeah, later. Oh and don't walk in the public baths as last time Sanada." Naru warned as she fixed her glasses.
"I told you already, it wasn't my fault!" yelled Yoshi.
A/N: And there you go. Review and later whenever cowboys…
Jutsu List:
None