Disclaimer: I don't, and I repeat, I DON'T own American Dad! as it's owned by FOX and Seth MacFarlane's Fuzzy Door Productions. This is a different use of media material being protected by the fair use of the U.S. copyright act of 1976. Enjoy!
AMERICAN DAD!: Somewhere With Death
INTRO:
STAN:
Good morning USA!
I got a feeling that it's gonna be a wonderful day!
The sun in the sky has a smile on his face
And is shining the salute to the American race!
Oh boy it's swell to say—
ROGER:
(disguised as Oscar Gold from Tearjerker)
Good Morning USA! (grunts as Stan crashes to the flagpole to the CIA)
EVERYONE:
GOOD MORNING USA!
Chapter 1: Flashback (Part 1)
(scene cuts to the funeral home where we see the people in the funeral crying)
STAN: Hopefully you'll get want you always wanted, Bullock.
AVERY: Well, Stan, I—
STAN: Don't call my name. I'm already empty inside my mind. Hey wait, is there a couch in my head? No? What about Dorito's? Well it doesn't matter, my beloved daughter is gone thanks to you.
(Avery goes to the coffin to see Hayley's body, as we cut to a flashback in the restaurant, Jakestein's, as we see Dick, Jackson, Avery, Stan, Francine, his kids, and Roger (disguised as a CIA agent) laughing)
AVERY: Gentlemen. I want to say thanks to Stan Smith for saving our lives on the attack of the Langley Falls Bridge, as he couldn't do it without me.
STAN: Actually I can.
AVERY: STAN! I'm your boss. So as a reward, we play a mind game because I am good with Rock-Paper-Scissors!
STEVE: Wow dad, are you ready to do this?
STAN: I don't know, since Avery is a master of thinking.
STEVE: (chuckles) Alrighty.
FRANCINE: Oh honey, this is gonna be great!
STAN: 3, 2, 1, go!
(Stan places rock and Avery places paper)
STAN: Oh yeah! I lost; who's gonna beat me now?
ROGER: Oh yeah, well mind read this!
(Roger places scissors and Avery places Rock)
AVERY: Rock beats scissors.
ROGER: Oooooh!
FRANCINE: Me! ME!
AVERY: Alright, alright, let's go.
(Francine places paper and Avery places scissors)
FRANCINE: Hell yeah!
STEVE: Set it up, you can't do crap for me!
(Steve places scissors and Avery places rock)
STEVE: That was fast!
(everyone goes, except for Hayley)
HAYLEY: How about me?
(everybody laughs)
STAN: Hey, you kidder. Go kid your own kid, Jeff.
HAYLEY: He's my husband.
STAN: Oh, okay.
HAYLEY: Let's start the madness!
AVERY: Okay. Let's get started!
(Both Hayley and Avery place scissors)
HAYLEY: Who's kidding now; the people in Libya or Iraq or what?
AVERY: Okay, stop it. We're going again.
HAYLEY: Alrighty grandpa, but you should care about me, the liberal democrat since you are getting old.
AVERY: Alright, alright!
(Avery places rock and Hayley places scissors)
AVERY: WHAT?
HAYLEY: Yeah, now who's the boss? I feel sorry for you, but you need to get back to work.
STAN: Wow, Hayley, my daughter, you're getting better than ever, you're becoming a princess.
HAYLEY: It's all in my mind.
AVERY: Smith! SMITH!
ROGER: Wow, you have muscles. Use it, or learn how to fart, like I do.