Welcome to another Allenby human AU fic! I wanted a break from the heaviness of Black Book of Pearl White, and this idea's been percolating in my head for awhile. I thought about revisiting My Brilliant Friends, but I felt it better to start from scratch with a new story...though I may incorporate story/character elements from that story arc that I never got to use. Anyway, hopefully you'll enjoy this one. And thanks to BluePearlLamentation and DreamlandB for their help fleshing out this story!
It was Pearl's first Saturday night as a thirty year old, and she was ready to celebrate.
She'd dropped by the local store and bought some of her favorite salad greens, a decent, low-fat balsamic dressing and a few semi-healthy snacks. Gotten her strawberry blonde hair trimmed into her usual short, neat style with a slight wave at ear-level. Returned some books to the library and picked up two more, along with a DVD of Bringing Up Baby. Ate a quick lunch at a local diner, scarfing down a not-bad grilled chicken sandwich and trying not to envy the other diners munching on burgers and fries.
She spent the whole afternoon organizing her apartment. Dusting shelves, washing dishes, running the cleaner, scrubbing kitchen tiles, reorganizing books and DVDs. She decided against doing laundry, too - that was her Sunday chore.
She didn't exactly mind, though. She liked having the neatest apartment in all of Beach City. It hadn't been easy - during her first week there, she'd found a mouse in a kitchen cupboard and almost fainted. Only the centipede crawling inches from her face scared her awake. But some hard work, scrubbing and a little pesticide took care of that! Now even the bathroom was clean enough to eat off of, at least if Pearl hadn't used the strongest, most toxic chemicals known to man.
By the time the sun started to set, she'd managed to clean every inch of her apartment. Every book in its place, every dish on the appropriate spot on the rack, every speck of dust on a towel or in the garbage pail.
Just perfect. Very Pearl.
She took a moment, as she always did, to look over everything and smile, beaming at her own handiwork.
The sun started to set, and it was almost time for fun.
She laid out the greens and the dressing on the counter. Put a bottle of Diet Coke cooling in a bucket of ice, like champagne, on the counter.
Then took a warm bath to celebrate. It felt especially good with her fresh haircut; the warmth comforting, since it was forty degrees outside and she still hadn't warmed up.
She sat in the tub, relaxing in the way that was only possible on a Saturday evening. Thinking, reflecting, watching the sun slowly set through the window.
When her skin started to prune, she got up and made her dinner.
Her apartment was a small studio - just one large room, a tiny kitchen and a bathroom. Not enough for a roommate (if she wanted one, for some reason) or to have people over. But it was hers. Rented by her, paid with her own, hard-earned money. Free from parents and family and other, annoying distractions. Her own space to be Pearl.
She plunked into bed in a dark blue sweatshirt. Put her movie in the player. She balanced the salad bowl carefully on a small tray, having mixed in just enough dressing to taste. Slowly poured the soda into a drinking glass, watching it bubble and fizz as it interacted with the ice.
It brought a flash of recognition, for just a moment. Memories of loud music and bright lights. The dizziness of alcohol swirling in her head.
The taste of Rose.
But then she reminded herself that was years ago, and this was just soda.
Pearl didn't drink any more. She was very careful about that.
Then the Warner Bros. logo came up, and she recognized Cary Grant in his laughable nerd glasses. And her mind zoned in on the movie, leaving that moment of discomfort.
This was Pearl's ideal Saturday night. An old movie, a salad and a warm bed.
She knew her coworkers thought she was a square, that she was too young to hole up in her apartment and do nerd things like an old lady.
But she didn't care. She'd done the club scene when she was younger, and it didn't go well for her. Most of her friends had either drifted away or stopped being her friend. And at her age, she found it horribly awkward to meet new people, anyway.
Besides...what was one supposed to do at thirty, anyway? She wasn't married, after all. And she was at an age where, even if she wanted to go out and meet people at a bar...well, most people in those places skewed younger, didn't they? Not that she couldn't get a pick-up or something if she really wanted, but...Pearl wasn't that kind of person. Or tried not to be. (In any case, these days it was mostly porn when she felt that urge.)
And truth be told, she didn't mind living by herself, spending Saturday nights alone. It made things uncomplicated, and simple, and easy to plan. No surprise.
She just...didn't always like being alone.
The movie ended around 9:30. Pearl didn't feel in the mood for going to bed just yet. She grabbed one of her library books, a Madeline Miller novel one of her English major friends had recommended on Facebook, and dove into it. It wasn't really her kind of book - she found the prose a bit too sparse for her liking, and felt that if she wanted to reread The Illiad, she'd reread The Illiad. But she managed a few chapters before her mind drifted off.
What was Rose doing tonight? Pearl couldn't help wondering. She stared out the dark window, watching cars go by in the darkness, wondering if her ex was still somewhere in the city.
Probably not. And, she reminded herself, that was years ago.
Then why did it still hurt? Why did she think about it?
She got up, opened up her dresser drawer and pulled out an old picture. It showed Pearl, her hair longer and her face fresh with youth and excitement, with Rose at a party. Rose wearing a pretty white dress with her thick red hair cascading down her shoulders, laughing at a joke from whoever took that picture (she couldn't remember at this point - Rose had so many friends, you couldn't keep track of them).
She'd deleted or destroyed every picture of Rose she kept. Except that one. One reminder of something she could never forget.
And her old diary, she supposed, though that was locked somewhere at her parents' house where no one could get it.
She sighed, staring at the picture for a long minute.
It had been five years. Five years since Rose left her. Five years since she'd found out that the woman who she'd given up everything for, whom she'd moved to Beach City for the sake of, whom she'd devoted the prime of her life to...was married.
To a man.
And had a son.
She couldn't believe it. She hadn't been angry at Rose, so much as...just confused. Baffled.
She couldn't understand it. Tried rattling through memories of their time together, to see if there were clues or hints that she missed. A word here, a glance there. But nothing came.
"I have a bit of a history," something Rose told Pearl with a smirk on their first date. And Pearl just nodded along, finding it part of the allure.
At the time, she was flattered that a woman...not only one so beautiful, but one who was over a decade her senior, would take an interest in her, a girl fresh out of college, with a Bachelor of Arts that was next to useless and only a vague idea of what she wanted to do in life. It was a total mismatch.
Time made that clear to Pearl. At the moment, she'd been too swept up to notice. Too happy to listen to her friends and family questioning whether it was a good idea, who felt there was something off about Rose.
She should have listened.
But she didn't.
Until Rose took Pearl aside after one of their dates, and told her about Greg. And Steven. And that she wanted to get together with them.
"So...what...I don't understand?" Pearl had sputtered, trying not to make a scene in public. "Am I just the other woman, here? Your mistress? Your playmate? Something to fuck?"
Pearl remembered saying that, because her curses were rarely worse than "damn" or "hell."
"Pearl, it's not like that," Rose tried assuring her in her most loving, compassionate voice.
"None of this meant anything to you!" Pearl had accused. "Just an affair! A fling! Some fun on the side!"
"That's not fair, Pearl..." Rose began. But the rest of her protest smudged in Pearl's memory, the words faded by time and trauma.
All she remembered after that was the crying. And the feeling of rage within her.
Not so much at Rose, really, but at herself. For being such an idiot.
That still hurt. No matter what excuses she made for herself - she was young, she was flattered, she was sometimes drunk, Rose was incredible - it didn't make her feel better.
Time scabbed over the wound, gave Pearl some space to grow and find her own identity. And most of the time, she didn't think about Rose, even if the scars remained.
Yet here she was, looking at that picture again. And all the old thoughts were still there.
She'd been having such a pleasant night, too.
Damn Madeline Miller, Pearl thought. She should have been a better writer.
The thought made Pearl laugh, the way only a nerd can laugh at an inside joke only they understand. Wishing there were someone else around to share her cleverness with, that wasn't just a stranger on the internet.
As if in answer, her cellphone rang.
Pearl snapped out of her reverie and picked up the phone. She didn't recognize the number, wonder if she was getting butt dialed or spammed. Who on Earth would call her on a Saturday night?
"Hello?"
"Pearl?" A raspy voice came over the line. Pearl struggled to recognize it.
"Am-Amethyst?" She thought that was her name.
One of Rose's friends from back in the day. Someone she hadn't talked to in years.
"What do you want?" Amethyst asked.
"Umm...you dialed me."
"I did? Man, I'm sorry. I didn't realize. Must have butt dialed you or something."
"I figured. I mean, it is me..."
"Hey, I know plenty of people who would have called you on a Saturday night a few years back."
Pearl chuckled politely at the innuendo.
"Well, I'm honestly a little amazed you still have my number after all these years..." Pearl certainly hadn't kept Amethyst's number. Or any of her other friends from back then.
"Ehh, I just transferred the chip to my new phones. Guess I never changed it out. I'm a little surprised you're still using the same number."
"Well, I have the same phone."
"...Seriously? You haven't changed your phone in five years?"
"Why should I? It works, it's cheap, it's nice."
"Wasn't it a flip phone? And that was old five years ago, it's practically a dinosaur now."
"Well, this dinosaur still works, it's convenient, and I don't need any of the other special features that would bring me to buy something more advanced."
"Dude, dinosaurs evolved into birds. Flip phones evolved into iPhones. It's just nature."
"...Phones aren't nature, Amethyst."
"It's called a metaphor. God, I would have thought a brain like you could understand that."
"Hmm. Fair enough." Beat. Pearl was tempted to hang up without saying more, but she decided to make a little bit of small talk. What the hell?
"How have you been?"
"How have I been? Pretty shitty, if I'm honest. I've been bouncing around between jobs and...well, my life's been a mess. Now that I'm pushing thirty it's not as fun as it used to be."
"I know the feeling."
"Yeah. I mean, I still like to have fun...I'm gonna be me until the day I die, I hope, unless I''m replaced with like an alien pod person or something. But, you know, fun's not so easy after a certain point."
"I understand."
Pearl blurted out the next question without thinking.
"So...are you still in touch with Rose?"
A pause on the other line. Pearl blushed, horrified at what she'd just asked.
"I mean...not that I...I'm just curious if..."
"Me and Rose aren't really...friends any more," Amethyst said. And her voice sounded sad.
"I'm sorry," Pearl said, unable to think of anything else.
"Yeah. You know how sometimes, somebody you like a lot turns out to be really shitty, deep down?"
"Amethyst, you're talking to someone who dated Rose."
"...Shit. I'm sorry, P."
"That's all right. It was five years ago."
"Yeah. I mean, I feel like this is a conversation that we really shouldn't have over the phone."
Pearl sensed an opening, and perked up.
"Yeah? Are you still in Beach City?"
"Yeah. I live at an apartment complex near the movie theater. It's small, I have a couple roommates, but it's all right. Good place to look for work, anyway. What there is of it."
"Hmm. Well, maybe you would...want to catch up some time."
Pearl choked out the words, trembling with nerves and embarrassment as she pondered her own question.
Jesus Christ, she scolded herself in her head. You've just gone through another one of these fucking things about moving on and...you want to get back together with Amethyst?
You want to hang out with one of Rose's closest friends?
Do you really want to...?
I mean, it's not like she'd want to, anyway. She called you by accident.
"I'd love to, Pearl."
"Really?" Pearl couldn't believe the answer. "Umm...great! When can you meet?"
"Any time, P! That would be totally cool. Just call me or text me. Or, heck, I still have a Facebook account for now, though with all the data-selling shit I dunno how long that'll last. But yeah, we'll work something out. I'm free most days in the evening anymore, so just let me know."
"All right. I'll take a look at my schedule and see where I can pencil you in."
Amethyst snickered. "Well, I'm honored that you can squeeze me into your very busy schedule."
"I'll have you know that I do keep a very busy schedule," Pearl huffed. What a tremendous lie!
"Oh, I'm sure," Amethyst teased. "I'll bet you're out right now in the club with all your friends gettin' smashed..."
"Actually, I'm not," Pearl admitted. "Not for a long time."
"Ahh." Beat. "Well, I figured there was a reason you stopped hanging out with us."
"Amethyst, there was...the only reason I stopped hanging out with you was...Rose."
A long, heavy pause.
"I always thought you were...cool," Pearl continued, afraid of the silence. "I mean, you were always fun and...kind of wild...but very nice. Very understanding and...It wasn't fair to just cut you guys out of my life like that. We should have found a way to...But that's on me. I just wanted to move on so much, you know..."
She stopped herself, feeling sad. Worrying, again, whether she'd said something to scare off her old pal.
Goddammit, Pearl, you are so awkward even over the phone!
She was surprised to hear Amethyst snickering into the phone again.
"Aww, P! All these years later and you still care about me!"
Pearl didn't know what to say to that.
"It's cool, P. No worries. Heck, that friend group kinda...went its own ways after awhile. I'm still friends with Garnet, if you remember her. And we see Skinny and Carmelian every once in awhile. But the rest...I mean, we're not like, super close anymore."
"That's part of being an adult," Pearl reflected gravely.
"I guess. I'm still not good at it."
"I don't know that anyone is," Pearl said. Another knowing pause.
"Well, I do have plans tonight, Pearl. But listen, it was really great accidentally talking to you."
"The same!"
"I always...It's great talking to you. Real talk. Because I always thought you were one of Rose's coolest friends."
Pearl blushed again. Had she heard Amethyst right?
"Nobody who's ever known me well would consider me cool."
"Well, as cool as someone who likes to watch old black-and-white movies is, anyway."
"You say old, I say classic."
"You say classic, I say zzzzzzz."
"Anyway...It's been nice talking to you," Pearl said, not taking the bait. "I'll get back to you once I know my schedule."
"Right, right, your packed, busy schedule. I'm sure you'll need a break from alphabetizing your books sometime."
"I'll have you know that I sort them by subject and..."
"Zzzz...you can tell me all about it later, Pearl? Okay? But hey, enjoy your Saturday night and we'll talk soon."
"All right. Good night, Amethyst."
"Night."
And the call ended.
The whole thing was so strange, Pearl barely understood it. It was like an answer to an unspoken prayer.
Only...Amethyst. That wasn't remotely what she expected.
Well, she'd liked Amethyst back in the day. She didn't make that part up. But she remembered how Amethyst was always the troublemaker of the group.
Calling her wild didn't really cut it. She drank too much, did the wrong drugs, wound up in the ER twice that Pearl knew of. Hooked up with the wrong people, got mixed in with the wrong crowds, once had a drunken knife fight with some jerk outside a bar like she was auditioning for West Side Story or some shit.
It would have been comical, this squat little Korean girl threatening to disembowel a dude at least a foot taller than her, except it wasn't, and Rose knew it enough to drag Amethyst to safety while Garnet tried to keep the guy from murdering her. It was as scared as Pearl had ever been in her life, watching the scene go from a joke to a nightmare, seeing Amethyst's bravado slowly sink as she vomited in the car and she and Rose gave her water trying to calm her down...
She was the sort of person Pearl would never befriend on her own accord. Probably would never have met. Because she was very much the shy, quiet type in school, including college. And she was usually repulsed, or irritated by people like Amethyst.
And part of her really hoped that Amethyst...wasn't like that any more.
Because thirty year old Pearl was not twenty-four year old Pearl. And she didn't want to be, either. That chapter of her life needed to be over. The new chapter had to be better...in a different way.
But, she tried to reassure herself, Amethyst was a good person. A little messed up sometimes, but a good person.
Everyone changes, Pearl, she told herself. Even you.
She allowed herself a bitter laugh as she sank back into her bed. Stretched out and just stared at the ceiling for several minutes.
She wondered if thirty year old Pearl could have a better Saturday night than this.
She wondered if she'd soon find out.