Taken from the FIP:QSVN Facebook page: I want a fanfic where after Sirius Black gets kicked out of his parent's house he has to go live in his own apartment, and to pay for it he becomes a male stripper. Possibly with James Potter becoming one as well.

"Sirius!" James yelled as he kicked the door shut. Sirius emerged from the living room, his hair straggly and a few days' worth of stubble growing on his chin.

"What the hell are you doing here?" he asked groggily.

James grinned. "I heard you had a new apartment so I came over to take a look." He glanced at the Muggle beer cans strewn all over the carpet. "Had a good time last night, did you?"

Sirius groaned. "I enchanted them to make them stronger." His best friend howled with laughter. "It's not funny!" he snapped. "I've got a killer headache, so if you would please get out that would be nice, thank you."

Instead, James invited himself into the living room and sank down into an armchair. "Nice place," he said. "I mean, I would happily have taken you in at mine. You wouldn't have to pay for that, either. I mean, how are you getting money in around here?"

Sirius hesitated, before answering, "I… work as a dancer."

James grinned. "No way! You mean -"

"Not a word!"

"Yeah, but you -"

"I said not a word."

"You're a stripper, aren't you?"

Sirius sighed. "Would you please leave it out?"

"You never told me you were gay, Sirius."

"That's because I'm not. It pays the bills, nothing more."

"There's nothing wrong with it. I mean, theoretically. If you were. You could tell me."

Sirius sat up. "Are you hinting at something?"

"No! No, we're mates. No. Not… no. I was just saying."

"Right. Just saying."

"Yes."

"Okay."

They sat in silence for a second, before Sirius said, "Would you be interested in it?"

"In what? Going out with you?"

"No!" Sirius snarled. "I meant in… you know, what I do."

James collapsed in a fit of laughter. "In stripping?"

Sirius shrugged, embarrassed. "It was just an idea. I mean, you make good money."

"Yeah, to have a load of old pervs staring at you. I think I'll give it a miss, thanks."

"Come on!" Sirius begged. An idea dawned on him and he pulled a pile of coins out of his robes. "I'll pay you, just for tonight. Plus the money you'd make from the actual job. You'd be rich! We could go out to Hogsmeade tonight, spend some of it."

"Why are you so desperate for me to do it?" James smirked. "Do you want to see me take my clothes off?"

Sirius sighed. "For the last time, I'm straight, okay? But I've got a raging hangover and I really can't handle dancing alone. Please, just for tonight."

James thought for a moment, before replying, "Theoretically, if I did do it, how much would you pay me?"

—-

"I knew this was a bad idea."

James emerged from the backstage changing room dressed in a pair of skimpy briefs. Sirius howled with laughter at his scrawny friend and his obviously uncomfortable face.

"I don't see why you're laughing," James snapped. "Your costume's not much better." Sirius wore a translucent shirt and leggings.

"Nah, I think my costume's sexier," Sirius giggled, before erupting in a fit of chortles again.

"And now, welcome your regular performer, Sexy Sirius!" they heard from the stage. Now it was James' turn to giggle.

"Sexy Sirius?" he chuckled.

Sirius spoke through gritted teeth. "Shut. Up."

James patted Sirius on the shoulder. "Knock 'em dead, Sexy Sirius."