Angel Rule Number 27: Honor

Disclaimer: I do not own Kid Icarus Uprising. I own the interpretation of the Gods not in the game and the angels of Skyworld ranging from the Angel Assembly, archangels, royal bodyguards and the Celestial Pirates. I also own the witch hunters. I also do not own Queen's Blade. That franchise belongs to Hobby Japan. I finally don't own Disgaea as that belongs to Nippon Ichi.

Summary: Pit was supposed to do battle with a moon rabbit due to having the opportunity to escape his engagement with a certain demon. However, the Angel Assembly (particularly Gaston) injures Pit and prevents him from doing battle with his opponent forcing Dark Pit to do the duel for him unaware that he's putting himself into a bad situation by just winning not only the battle but the girl's heart as well.

Pairing: One-sided Kaguya/Pittoo and implied Pit/Laharl

Rated: T (for Teen)

Genre: Romance, Humor

Warning: Swearing, violence, suggestive themes, nudity and unintentional OOC

This is the story of where Dark Pit meets one of the future characters he intends to recruit in a later timeline. This one is Kaguya from Grimoire. Enjoy!

In a place high above the clouds in the human world, there existed a place called Skyworld. Skyworld was home to the angels who served under the Goddess of Light. Skyworld was also the capital of heaven so the most powerful angels resided in this particular area around the Goddess. The captain of the royal bodyguards, Pit, was notorious for being a youthful angel who single handedly slayed the demon army of the Underworld and had taken down Gods who were deemed unstoppable. He had earned his reputation as one of the most powerful angels in heaven that it seemed like he had no weakness (besides being bossed around by Palutena). Of course there was one topic that Pit couldn't stand and it often cost him greatly. It had nothing to do with his wings though. Oh no…it was something much worse.

Marriage. Commitment. Responsibilities. Anytime love and marriage was brought up by any of the angels particularly by the Angel Assembly, the light angel would turn paler than a ghost. In heaven, marriage was seen as a political power grab and love was often thrown out the window. The wealthier or more famous you were the more you were sought after. You would think that suitors of both genders would seek after Pit but everyone knew that Pit was already taken at a young age.

Palutena had apparently signed Pit off to the demon prince of the Netherworld when she had just taken him as her own child. It was inconsiderate given how quickly she rushed it, but there might have been an ulterior motive to the whole thing. Pit was off limits from the rich angels who wanted to use his position to get closer to the Goddess of Light, but it wouldn't stop them from harassing the brunette about when the marriage was and the lack of commitment he had to his partner in the first place.

Pit flipped out when he found out by the green haired Goddess herself about the engagement and how it couldn't be revoked due to the demon prince's father dying recently. If one of the people who wrote the contract died then the engagement was permanent and Pit wondered if the King of the Netherworld did this on purpose to trap him in a miserable relationship.

It was one thing for Pit to be engaged to a demon that frustrated him, but when the demon was a young boy who still technically hasn't hit puberty then there were going to be issues. Pit needed to wait at least 500 years before the marriage could be official. That was too long for the light angel to wait and it didn't guarantee a happy marriage either especially if the demon prince was blissfully unaware that his life was given to the older angel.

Pit had an idea on how to end the engagement without the child figuring out what Palutena and the prince's father did. All it required was finding someone out there in the universe who was capable of negating the engagement. In Pit's mind, he thought that the person he found while out on missions (and Palutena being his guide as usual) was a perfect replacement. He never bothered to think things through and now Dark Pit was suffering through it.

The angel captain was on a mission in Mel Fair Land, the country of Endless Summer and ruled by the Naked Queen, simply to observe the problems occurring with the recent that occurred. Palutena had reminded him that they had no right to interfere with this world's problems and to see what was being done to combat The Demon of Winter.

While floating in the sky, Pit came across a weird eastern like area in Mel Fair Land where many noblemen had lined up to see someone of importance. Pit only caught a glimpse of her, due to Palutena keeping him out of sight, but he remembered her words very well.

"He who wants to marry Kaguya, bring me treasure!"

And treasure did Pit bring…rather he showered her with gifts from Skyworld that she would never expect to see. He made himself mostly anonymous too to keep her enticed at the idea she had a secret admirer that could offer her more than the humans. Little did the blue eyed angel know that his plan went perfectly well in the wooing department. Apparently the Centurion that sent the gift was caught and forced to give a letter back to whoever was sending the presents. Since Pit couldn't read, he had to show it to someone who could. Palutena was out of the question since she would be furious at him trying to end the engagement she planned for him. This meant Pit had to actually wait for his rival Virtue to finish his witch hunting job to come to him in Skyworld and read it. Virtue was feeling rather generous seeing as how Pit messed up somehow and read the demands this beautiful maiden wanted.

"She wants a duel to see if you're worth her time."

Pit just laughed thinking he had this in the bag. Unfortunately, Pit had too many enemies in the Angel Assembly. This included none other than the notorious Gaston who was known for being a cowardly bastard. He always wanted Pit off his position but never had the balls to challenge Pit directly. It was why he always went after Dark Pit instead seeing as how he was still single. Pittoo wouldn't take shit from him, but it was only a matter of time before Pit slipped up and the dark angel wouldn't be able to do so.

This was why Gaston came up with a "brilliant" plan to kill two birds with one stone. He sent a letter to Pit saying it was from the fair maiden in the human world with a basket of fruits. All the fruits were poisoned so if Pit took one bite, it could very much kill him.

Pit had a resilient stomach though and the worse that happened when he bit out of the red poison apple was develop a nasty stomach ache immediately that prevented him from leaving his chambers for a time. Dark Pit rolled his eyes at how easily Pit was tricked and how he could easily get someone in the Angel Assembly in trouble. The only thing Pit cared for was getting through with the duel. Despite his distress, Pit ordered his younger twin to battle Kaguya for him since he never stated his name in the response letter (that Virtue had to write).

This was why Dark Pit was standing in front of the coliseum in Lucifer debating whether or not he should just let Pit deal with the consequences or stick around for a good fight. It didn't change how annoyed he was though seeing as how this Kaguya person was late and he didn't have all day waiting around like a fool.

"Argh…this is so stupid! I should just leave and let Pit deal with the consequences!"

Despite this…he felt bad for Pit…only in the sense that the light angel would have done this himself if he didn't get food poisoned. The least he could do was help him out on this.

He wouldn't have to wait any longer though seeing as how the gates from the human world were finally open. It was difficult for a human to reach the heavens unless they had an angel guide with them, so seeing a long red carpet suddenly being thrown from above the sky in Angel Land was a huge wake up call. The carpet probably went from the tip of Lucifer to where the Angel Academy (where angels train to get a rank either under Palutena or the Angel Assembly) all the way to the coliseum where Dark Pit was standing. The dark angel sighed slowly realizing that Centurions were allowing this flashy entrance to occur.

Well…I guess I already know what type of person I'm dealing with.

The person named Kaguya could be seen as a smell spec at the end waiting for the carpet to reach the end as she gracefully walked on the carpet all the way to where Dark Pit was standing. The closer she came into view, the more it was apparent that she just wanted to run and get this over it rather than pretend to be a refined individual.

At the very least, Dark Pit knew that Pit had some taste in women by the appearance of the girl although the ginormous boobs that were threatening to come out of the girl's kimono said a lot about Pit. When one looked at Palutena then it made sense that Pit preferred them large.

The girl herself was extremely beautiful though. She had long black hair tied in twintails and glowing red eyes as red as his and probably made her look more intimidating when the moon was at its highest. Kaguya wore a layered kimono with a red obi going around it. The water lily design on said kimono allowed her to stand out a little more as well as a white neckpiece with red lining. Despite the obvious eastern clothing, she had some clothes that appeared to be from the modern era. This included metallic bunny ears, armored greaves and armored black gauntlets. At the very least she looked suited for battle while still appearing stunning.

She smirked seeing her opponent before her. This was the first time she could actually see her secret admirer and she was pleased he was different from the rest of her suitors.

"Oh, Kaguya might actually score big this time." Was the first thing that came out of her mouth and Dark Pit immediately thought she was snobbish. "If you are the one that has sent Kaguya lovely treasure, then we will do battle now. Be warned, this moon rabbit is not someone to underestimate. Defeat Kaguya, and you win the right to marry Kaguya."

She talked in third person too even when she didn't need to. Dark Pit felt a migraine coming on especially with the statement that she was a so called moon rabbit. Apparently the moon rabbits went extinct after the Goddess of the Moon Selena was killed shortly after the 2000 year old war. To claim you are a moon rabbit required a lot of guts especially since those rabbit ears didn't look like it was attached to her body.

"Let's get this over with." Dark Pit told her. "I have other things to do."

That should have been a hint that it wasn't the same person that sent her gifts. The dark angel wasn't going to say anything else to Kaguya as he took out his Silver Bow. His opponent took out a long katana that immediately glowed a bright green the minute she activated it.

"Impatient, are we? Kaguya is not weak."

"We shall see."

Kaguya wasted no time in getting the first attack in. Her boots activated allowing her to hover in the air. The first thing that came to mind was that even if Kaguya was a human, she could fly to a certain extent. She immediately charged the dark angel with her katana. Blocking the blade proved to hurt Dark Pit seeing as how the green energy sword attempted to cut through the Silver Bow. He had to jump back to shoot an arrow. Immediately the arrow was sliced in half by the energy sword. If one arrow wasn't going to cut it, Dark Pit would shoot multiple arrows at once. He avoided her long sword swipes while shooting the purple arrows into the air. He intended to get her trapped in the middle with his multi-hit attack. She let out a small chuckle as she got on all fours to activate her gauntlets. Kaguya created a barrier of flames to shield her from the dark arrows from below effectively incinerating them to bits. The angel audience that was gathered was taken aback by such powerful magic when it just came from the machines she was wearing.

"Please don't disappoint Kaguya." The red eyed collector taunted. "Kaguya did not come to heaven to battle an easy suitor."

"I'm just warming up." Dark Pit told her even though he felt sweat drip down his face realizing that this wasn't going to be easy after all. He couldn't challenge her from a distance because she could close the gap and easily out spaced him when her arrows were weak to her attacks. At close range, he might lose too (and he wasn't good at close combat despite his insistence on doing so). How would he beat her?

"If you're just going to stand there, Kaguya will come to you."

Her jet boots allowed her to do so rather quickly. She flew in attempting to thrust the sword into the dark angel. This time, the dark angel attempted to dodge the blade at the last minute resulting in Kaguya delaying her attack and scraping his arm. Lived flinched again jumping back, but the collector wasn't going to let him off the hook this time. She forced him to battle defensively with her constant pressure of her energy sword as well as using her jet boots to push him farther and farther toward one of the many edges of Skyworld. If you fell off, it wouldn't be a big deal since you could fly back. Dark Pit couldn't fly, so it would be a long drop down into the Overworld.

To make matters worse, her ears started fluttering by themselves. At first Dark Pit thought it was due to the wind, but the minute whip-like swords came out of the tips of said ears, Dark Pit knew she was manipulating them too. Dodging the sword was already an issue, but he had to deal with the whips that he couldn't dodge. The whips ended up grabbing a hold of his arm with the Silver Bow in hand and yanking him into the air.

"Shit!"

Kaguya's smile widened as her free hand opened up to Dark Pit. In the center of her gauntlets was a hole that was ready to fire a bright red flame.

"See ya!"

It was a miracle that Dark Pit survived an attack like that. Either Kaguya was a bloodthirsty opponent or she had no idea how powerful her flame burst would do at close range. At the very last minute, Dark Pit forced himself to do a somersault in the air thus only his legs were technically burned. It wouldn't stop Dark Pit from fighting, but the burning sensation was certainly not pleasant especially since Kaguya immediately threw him away from her when he dodged that powerful attack.

"Kaguya is very disappointed how one-sided this match is." The self-proclaimed moon rabbit stated as she shook her head in discontent. "You should surrender now and let Kaguya go back to finding a strong suitor."

Dark Pit hated being called weak, but he was being taken off guard. He found a way to beat her though with what she had been doing. As long as she didn't grab his arm again, then he would be able to win.

"…You already lost." Dark Pit began while giving her a nasty glare. "You just don't realize it yet."

Kaguya cocked an eyebrow in disbelief. "Oh? Kaguya doesn't believe it when you haven't gotten a single hit in."

"…One hit is all I need."

Refusing to believe Dark Pit, she intended to repeat the same thing. In battle, it was reckless to keep doing the same thing unless the opponent failed to punish her for it. Dark Pit could now after she revealed the hole in her gauntlet. If he shot the arrow straight into the gauntlet, he wondered if that would be enough to disable all of her powers. Unless they were powered by something else then he would be screwed but he had a feeling that it wouldn't matter since that one attack seemed to take a lot out of her. She may have been winning, but she was panting and trembling while she prepared for the final attack that would decide the match.

The whip swords extended themselves to grab at Dark Pit. Kaguya made the mistake to grab at his legs instead. She did this so he wouldn't be able to escape. He may have shrieked as she dragged him toward her, but she was leaving herself expose the hole in her gauntlet as she pointed it down to him once he was in good range to experience the full attack.

"You will not evade me." She told him as she prepared to fire.

"I don't need to! I got you where I want you!" Dark Pit shouted as he took aim with his Silver Bow from close range. She expected him to shoot her face but realized he was aiming for the Fire-Rat Gauntlets instead. She gasped as she tried to pull away at the last minute, but it was too late. It only took one of those weak arrows to ruin her entire plan. The purple arrow shot through her gauntlets but not only deactivated it but also caused her entire outfit to malfunction. The whip swords lost its grip on the dark angel and dropped him in place. Kaguya backed up freaking out at the power she held inside heating her entire body up. Her panting became louder and her cried pains sounded more like something else as she tried to turn off the gauntlets. It was too late as she was hit by the attack that ended up bursting her gauntlets revealing incredibly small hands. Her kimono couldn't take anymore of the heat either and was torn to shreds exposing her naked body. Her shin guards and boots were lucky not technically being part of the outfit as well as her ears that just seemed to turn off instead of shattering above her head.

A rather loud scream erupted as a result causing the girl to fall to the ground. It was apparent now that Dark Pit was the winner seeing as he was able to stand up despite his burned legs but she couldn't continue fighting. She was in a complete daze with tears threatening to fall from her eyes.

"…I lost…one mistake…"

Dark Pit almost felt sorry seeing Kaguya in the defeated state. She attempted to stand up by sheer willpower alone instead of resting on the soft clouds, but she was more aware of herself than she was in battle and let out another shriek. Her boobs were finally her main focus as she weakly tried to cover them with one hand and cover her female privates with her other hand. The kimono that got torn off along with her metallic items left her exposed in front of the crowd. Only the rabbit ears, shin guards and boots were what were left of her outfit. If she sat down, it would be easier to cover herself up, but she didn't dare sit on the clouds fearing that she would fall through seeing as she was the loser. Tears slowly rolled down her eyes due to the humiliating state she was in.

The angels showed no sympathy for her. They actually rooted for Dark Pit and demanding that he do more than just leave her in that state. The dark angel would never stop being disgusted at how sometimes angels were no different from demons wanting some sexual action to happen in the coliseum. Sighing, the dark angel removed a part of his sash from his tunic and threw it over it over the collector's head.

"Cover yourself up." He told her while making sure not to look at her well-developed body. "Didn't mean to ruin your kimono…"

"W-What…why? You won…"

"As the winner, I want you to leave. I was only interested in the duel. Nothing else."

When he said that, the angels particularly Gaston booed him for being a "sissy" and a "faggot" for not taking advantage of the human girl.

"Will you bastards shut up?" Dark Pit asked frustrated with how shallow they were being now. "Look, unlike some angels here, I respect my opponent. Here, give me your hand."

Kaguya didn't take it when given the opportunity. She looked at Pittoo in confusion before she shook her head hoping that would be enough for the tears to fly away. She took his sash with one hand, but smacked his hand with the other causing him to hiss at how she wasn't taking her loss well.

"Fool, Kaguya is capable of fixing her clothes on her own! It's her power!" The raven haired collector announced as she simply wrapped the sash around her boobs. Dark Pit couldn't help but blush realizing that she was going to wrap the sash in a way where it would cover all of her female private parts…so he might not want to ask that back from her…

"W-Wha…"

"Don't think this is the end!" Kaguya shouted as she scurried to gather all of her important treasures before glaring at Dark Pit who showed her enough sympathy to allow her to leave without giving him sexual favors. "Kaguya will be back! Kaguya hates this humiliation!"

"Hey! It's not like you sucked…"

Dark Pit didn't get to finish because Kaguya got back on her red carpet that magically rolled back all the way toward the beginning of where the red carpet was. The black angel wouldn't question how it was possible to make her escape doing that, but in a world filled with magic, not everything needed to be explained.

"Okay…now that one nuisance is out of the way…it's time to tell Pitstain and…" He glared at the audience who had the nerve to start throwing trash at him. "Oh? You want to be next?! Fine! You angels aren't even going to be as entertaining as that dumb rabbit!"

So Dark Pit thought that after Kaguya ran off in her humiliated state that she wouldn't come back and things would have returned to normal. Well, things mostly returned to normal such as Pit getting over his food poisoning and bitching to the Angel Assembly about how they tried to kill him again.

The day started out normally. The dark angel did the normal routines required in the fifth division before heading off toward Lucifer to continue his solo training in the coliseum. The battle may have been won, but it was too close for comfort. Humans had a limit to how powerful they could be. If a human was able to fight evenly with an angel like him then he needed to stop slacking off even if he put more effort into training more than any other angel.

While trying his best to hit every target in the dead center like Pit could without looking at said target (something he hoped to do with more practice) he was reintroduced to the same girl he beat. Kaguya was still frustrated with him from yesterday, so Dark Pit found it amusing that she did come back rather quickly.

"What is it? Want to fight again? I'll win." Dark Pit ended up taunting as he actually managed to hit the center of the target. Unfortunately, it was only because he wasn't looking at Kaguya and was more focused on the task at hand.

Kaguya didn't respond to his taunts originally. She wanted to and it was obvious in her facial expression. However, there was something more important than another fight. Her frown became a huge grin as she said something that completely broke his concentration.

"Nope. I'm here to get you to marry me. You fulfilled the end of the deal."

Dark Pit completely missed the target as the arrow flew over said target.

"Come again?"

"You fulfilled the end of the deal." Kaguya repeated. "Should anyone bestow Kaguya with gifts Kaguya adores and defeats Kaguya in combat have the right to marry Kaguya. You're the first person who has done that." She frowned thinking about how badly she lost. "Kaguya was embarrassed, but Kaguya is willing to accept defeat to a powerful opponent. You're not too bad looking either so Kaguya is happy she didn't lose to some ugly man."

Dark Pit was far from pleased with how close she was now. He put his bow away with the intention of leaving to go back to the temple, but Kaguya suddenly grabbed at his arm. Despite looking frail, she had a firm grip.

"Hands off…" The dark angel threatened as he attempted to pull away. He was only intimidated because looking her way only made his eyes glance at her enormous boobs. "I'm not interested in marriage. I only wanted a tough opponent…that's it. So please go away."

Kaguya wasn't convinced with the tone he was using. "Eh? But if you marry Kaguya, you can battle Kaguya all the time. Even in bed."

Now his cheeks turned bright pink at the obvious flirting.

"N-No thank you…"

Dark Pit started to shiver when she pulled him closer. She may have been shorter than him, but she was still stronger. He nearly shrieked thinking that she was trying to get his hand on her breasts.

"Kaguya really likes you. If you marry Kaguya, you get money, beauty and brawn."

"B-But…I don't…"

Things were going to hell really fast. The raven haired human was going to force him to do something he was uncomfortable with. There might have been other angels watching, so they should have stepped in at this point. Looking around frantically, Dark Pit searched for anyone he could scream to. Upon seeing that he would have to get out of this awkward situation himself (without accidentally being turned on) he immediately headbutted her and regretted it mainly because he was just as dizzy as she was.

"Oww!"

Dark Pit didn't have time to recover. If Kaguya grabbed him again, she wasn't going to let go. In moments like this, he wished that he could fly on his own, but he didn't have the ability to do so. All he could do was turn tail and flee while still in a dizzy state.

"Hey, don't run away!"

"Go away!"

For the next hour, Dark Pit tried to outrun Kaguya who proved to be a human with a lot of endurance despite her appearance. He wondered how her boobs didn't hit her in the face while pursuing him. Besides those rather perverted thoughts, the dark angel tried his best to lose her in the crowd. He had the home field advantage thanks to Pit showing him around Skyworld, so he thought he would lose her in five minutes. Kaguya was on him like a killer rabbit. It was probably those bunny ears that allowed her to keep track of him by listening to his unique footsteps. It didn't matter because no matter where Dark Pit went, she would find him.

They ended up running through all of Skyworld as a result. If going through Lucifer wasn't enough (because hiding in the weapon store would be a bad idea), he tried to run through Angelus and possibly hide in the flower shop called Floral Nightingale, but Kaguya found him. Many pots were broken and the archangel who was on duty ended up crying at how Dark Pit was going to get him fired with the old lady in charge of the place. Pittoo had to apologize to Michael later as he attempted to hide in the pet store next (which was a place for animals who died and were taken to heaven). Why did he try to hide with the rabbits when the girl who was stalking him claimed to be a moon rabbit? Regardless, in Angelic Animals, she would find him too and tried to pounce on him. The animals scattered around and the archangel here was more focused on getting them all to calm down, so she couldn't yell at Dark Pit for scaring them. Again, Dark Pit made a mental note to apologize to her later as he continued to run.

Dark Pit ran a few laps around Palutena's huge temple with Kaguya still in hot pursuit. It never occurred to her to just stop and wait for the black angel to circle around and catch him. The collector obviously wasn't the brightest tool in the shed and neither was Dark Pit if he did like seven times before making his way to Evangelion. It never occurred to Dark Pit either to hide in the isolated Sandalphon area or to go to Helel and hope someone would actually be there to stop this nonsense. Unfortunately, Dark Pit was running out of ideas and was almost out of breath. He needed to think of a place to hide and fast.

With nowhere else to turn to, Dark Pit ran into the nearest building out of sight of the collector. He would regret it later since it was the bar known as Free Haven. The alcoholic angel from the Angel Assembly, Siris, owned it along with the widower Guilano. This place was always packed at night, but during the day it was rather quiet with only a few people mainly Siris serving himself to his own wine. Siris was an asshole when he was drunk even if he played it off like he was the cute drunk. The things he said when drunk brought so many angels to tears, but he would claim to not remember what he said when it would be revealed later that Siris is very much in control of himself when drunk.

Dark Pit was lucky to catch Siris sober. In this state, he was rather tranquil and gloomy. He drank to not feel depressed from how Dark Pit saw it. Upon seeing the black angel rushing into his bar, Siris sat up from his chair.

"Do you need something Li?" Siris asked quietly. He could feel the chaos happening from outside.

"J-Just hide me, please! Somewhere! Anywhere! Only for a few minutes!"

If Siris were drunk then he would have kicked him out. The serene angel smiled cutely as he gave a hand gesture to come toward him. Dark Pit didn't expect to be thrown over the counter.

"Oww!"

Siris…like the asshole he was "accidentally" knocked his bottles of wine on the shelf down. The dark angel caught a lot of them so they wouldn't shatter on him. He wanted to curse at the gloomy angel, but the timing was perfect because Kaguya came in looking for him and only saw Siris drop his alcoholic beverages on the floor.

"Hey Mr., have you seen my future husband?"

"The black crow?" Siris asked. "He's not allowed in here because he's too young. Now scram kid before I throw this bottle at you. I hate kids in my bar."

Kaguya pouted, but instead of helping Siris pick up what was his, she dashed off like the immature child she was.

"Yeah…I hate children…" Siris murmured before looking over the counter to see Dark Pit trying his best to not let anything break. "Hey, don't drop anything. That's some high price wine that I got from Dionysus."

Not like Dark Pit cared especially if it ended up spilling all over his tunic. He was already hot from having to run across all of Skyworld and the last thing he needed was some grape wine making everything all sticky.

"Tch…"

As the black angel managed to get up from the floor without shattering the glass around him, Siris went back to sitting down on the stool in front of the counter as if he were a customer. Now Dark Pit was able to get a better look at the young man. He was indeed one of the beautiful angels with short blond hair and blue eyes. Despite Skyworld usually being sunny, Siris made it his goal to wear winter clothes more times than not. He got his best friend's little brother's boyfriend to customize his tunic so he had a hood with white fur at the end of it. His entire tunic was as white as snow. He carried a sake bottle where his belt was, so he could drink anytime he wanted to even if drinking was ill advised in the angel rulebook. Despite appearing to be a kind-hearted angel, he had already demonstrated he was far from it with how he treated others…however there seemed to be a hidden sorrow underneath everything.

"So, you going to tell me what is going on? I don't like being kept in the dark."

"I'm sure you don't…" Dark Pit growled. Since Siris saved his ass, Dark Pit felt obligated to tell him despite not being the most trustworthy angel. "To sum it up…Pit tried to break his engagement off and ended up scoring with that woman that was chasing after me. Pit got poisoned so I had to go fight her."

"I already know that. I watched the match from the seats of the coliseum."

"Then don't ask…" Dark Pit groaned. Siris seemed to already know what was going on, but expect him to continue. "So I win and I tell her off, but then she decides that she wants to marry me even though she lost. I can't get her off my tail at all."

"Oh…that sucks for you, but hey. You actually have a girl interested in you. That says a lot." Siris teased seeing how red Pittoo turned from that statement. "Or it could be that girl doesn't have good taste in the opposite gender."

"Oh gee, thanks!"

Dark Pit hated it when Siris would go from playful to spiteful in a matter of minutes even when he wasn't drunk. He wondered if that some sort of projection on the alcoholic angel's part, but he didn't have time to think about that.

"Where do you think Kaguya would go from here if she can't find me?"

"Probably the temple." Siris answered. "If she can't find you and get you to agree, why not ask Palutena?"

Dark Pit flinched at the suggestion and immediately rushed out of the bar despite how terrible he appeared. He couldn't afford to allow Palutena to dictate how romantic life like how she did with Pit. He didn't care that Siris called out to him stating it was just a suggestion because seeing how hard headed Kaguya was, that was definitely what was going to happen.

Sure enough, Kaguya did go and appeal to the Goddess of Light for approving her marriage with Dark Pit. Palutena was not the Goddess of Marriage so her words weren't absolute, but she only considered it seeing as how she only found out now that Pit tried to break that engagement behind her back. Kaguya was confused why there was an angel that looked like the boy she liked, but she could see they were "twins" at the very least.

"Pit…really…" Palutena grumbled seeing Pit give her an awkward laugh at the type of woman he was going for.

"Heh heh…heh…sorry?"

Even without the super speed power up, Dark Pit still managed to reach Palutena's Temple in record time, but he was absolutely exhausted. The minute he reached her chamber, he collapsed on his knees.

"Pittoo?"

"Guhh…shouldn't have had sprinted in this heat wave…cursed weather angels…"

Kaguya didn't seem to care about the condition the dark angel was in as she pointed toward him. "See, see? That's the one Kaguya wants to marry Goddess of Light!"

Palutena remained silent with her small smile not knowing what to say. Dark Pit was quick to recover the minute marriage was brought up.

"We are…never getting married! Don't…do things…on your own!" Lived tried to shout but it came out in huffs due to trying to catch his breath.

Kaguya smirked as she went over to him but still refused to help him up. "Kaguya will continue to follow you until you say yes. Kaguya likes you a lot."

"No…means no…"

"Kaguya always gets what she wants!" She declared. "Goddess of Light, please make the marriage official as soon as possible. Make Kaguya the happiest bride in the universe."

It would be hard to say no to that. Palutena nodded her head slowly though and Kaguya was free to leave thinking that it meant a yes.

"See you later, love." Kaguya hummed as she happily skipped away out of the palace.

The trio waited to see if Kaguya would come back with more demands before Palutena immediately put the pressure on Pit instead of Dark Pit.

"Pit, when were you going to tell me this?" She asked him again in a darker tone now that there was no one but the angels she was more open with. "You know that once the contract has been signed, there is no getting out if it!"

"But Lady Palutena…" Pit began now being able to express his inner hatred toward the idea of the proposal. "You did that without my consent! You did it before that brat was even born! Why?!"

"I was thinking ahead." The green haired Goddess responded rather quickly. "Saves you from being sought after now."

"B-But…to a demon…and a young male child at that?! Come on Lady Palutena! I may look his age, but I'm not his age!"

"Pit, your marriage will actually bring angels and demons together like 2000 years ago. The late demon king and I had talked about it and it would benefit you in the long run."

"But right now, I have no love life!" Pit shouted.

"That's not my problem, Pit."

"It is! You're mad at me now for looking for someone else!"

"That's because she's human. She won't live that long without some magic to make her age slower. Plus, you already pushed it to Dark Pit."

Finally there was an opening for Dark Pit to voice his dissent.

"Yeah! I'm not interested in marriage right now Pit! You put me in this shit situation! Fix it!"

Pit shook his head in annoyance knowing that Kaguya was meant for him and not his younger twin. Not only did he lose his chance but also now he got Lived in this bad situation…well not so bad given Kaguya was hot, but her personality wouldn't really work with Dark Pit and would probably drive him crazy in the long run.

"I don't know what to say Pittoo. Unless you can get her to stop chasing you…it's probably going to happen."

"And I don't want it to happen! I barely even know her!"

"Pit," Palutena interrupted, "perhaps you should stop playing Harvest Moon with the gift giving. That was the start of this…I'm not impressed you asked me things about what to give your significant other. I thought maybe you were finally ready to take the engagement seriously…but I was wrong. That was why I recommended toys first…"

"As if that demon brat would actually like stuff plushies." Pit growled. "Plus Shaymin is mine. I would rather die from food poisoning then give that toy up."

"Whatever you say Pit…"

Dark Pit was rather lost in the conversation now with what Pit and Palutena were bickering about. He hated being the one that couldn't add anything else without looking like a fool. All he knew was gift giving was what attracted Kaguya to the idea of meeting Pit in the first place. Yet he wasn't the one who gave Kaguya those presents at all…

"Wait…that's it!"

"What's what?" Pit asked realizing that the light bulb went off in his younger twin's head.

"I know how to get her off my back!"

Dark Pit sounded so excited when he said that. Palutena refused to giggle at how childish he was being, but unlike Pit, Dark Pit's love life wasn't as important as Pit's. The black angel needed to plan things out still, but he had every intention of ending things tonight.

"Well…whatever you're planning…" Palutena began with a Cheshire grin on her face. "Make sure to take a dip in the hot springs first. You don't look too appealing."

"Gee thanks…"

After Dark Pit finished all of his tasks for the day, he waited until the evening to start his plan. Pit wanted to assist him but Dark Pit didn't want Pit messing it up so he asked his vice captain Arachne to assist him. She had been someone he could rely on…more so than Pit sometimes despite being a demon. He asked her where would Kaguya be to spy on him and she simply said to search for the place in the Skyworld where the moon was the highest in the sky. It was odd for heaven to have a day and night cycle but this might be because the Sun God and Moon Goddess were a major influence on the heavens above regardless if they were alive or not.

Regardless, Dark Pit headed straight toward the cemetery in Helel where the moon was the highest in Skyworld. It was ironic how heaven had a graveyard like the humans and it was for angels who have died specifically for the war heroes of 2000 years ago. Dark Pit wondered why this place felt so lonely, but it must be because unlike the human world where humans at least could watch their loved ones from beyond the grave, angels didn't seem to have anywhere to go after heaven besides the Netherworld if they sinned, reincarnated into a human if they desired it or taken straight the Golden Land. Dark Pit wondered where he would go when he died…he was a clone after all…

Kaguya showed up at exactly midnight. Dark Pit sighed in relief seeing her show up if only because his plan would fail if she failed to follow him into the night. Kaguya was more interested in the full moon that reached the heavens rather than the red eyed angel though.

"You really need to stop following me around. Girls like you shouldn't be walking around at night in Skyworld."

"Why? Heaven is a safe haven."

"Not really…" Dark Pit wanted to get straight to the point but immediately noticed that Kaguya was carrying his sash that he gave her to cover up. Compared to when he wore it, the sash was extremely shiny like the moonlight. "Uhh…did you…wash this?"

"Kaguya needed to give this back to you." The rich girl from Mel Fair Land stated as she forced the folded sash into his arms. "This is just the first nice thing Kaguya needs to do during married life."

If her plan was to guilt trip him…it might have worked. She could have been manipulating him to get him to do what she wanted, but the expression she wore when giving it back…Dark Pit could tell her words were genuine. Yet, he needed to repeat to her why she couldn't marry him.

"Kaguya…right?"

"…You called me by my first name…" Kaguya murmured blushing when she spoke. "You never told me your name…everyone calls you replica…"

Great, now she was being cute along with guilt tripping him!

"…I would prefer to be called Lived."

"Lived…strange name…like you…"

Was she flirting too? She was making his heart surprisingly weak and making him forget what he wanted to tell her.

Dammit, Dark Pit! You need to focus! Dark Pit told himself as he mustered the most serious expression possible. "Kaguya we can't marry! I didn't fulfill my end of the deal!"

Kaguya expected another rejection, but this was a different, smarter approach this time around. "Huh?"

"You told me yourself. The person who marries you must send you treasures you adore and defeat you in command. You saw my original…my older twin…right?"

"The captain of the royal bodyguards? Yes…wait…"

Kaguya's expression fell as Dark Pit continued.

"…It was Pit that sent those treasures…not me…he would have battled you instead of me, but he got food poisoned by those jerk angels before the match started. I substituted in for him because I didn't want to ruin his honor for something like that."

"…Honor?"

"Pit told me there are 100 Angel Laws that apply to heaven even if some of them are just sayings rather than actual laws that could hurt you in the long run. Angel rule number twenty-seven is, "Angels fight with honor especially when it concerns a one on one duel with the sword. Please do not ruin your family's honor in any way." Or something like that…so its not like I could have backed out even if I wanted to."

Dark Pit would have added that Pit couldn't care less about his father's legacy. The replica had the desire to know about Pit's father but anytime the topic was brought up was almost always immediately shut down.

"I…see…so angels have their own rules…unlike the ones I made up on my own to avoid marriage."

Only now did Dark Pit notice Kaguya was speaking in first person. She was taking this conversation seriously.

"I-I'm sorry! I'm serious when I said I wasn't interested in marriage, but I have no intention of tying the knot so early in my life! There are too many things for me to do before then…and I sure as hell don't want to be tied down…"

"Such as?"

"Exploring the universe! What else? I only recently got the fifth division captain seat! That gives me free access to the Underworld." He frowned when he said that. "Unfortunately, Pit won't let me go alone without his supervision. I don't understand why he would care when we have both been there slaying the Underworld army and back multiple times…"

"So…it's a definite no…"

The "moon rabbit" sounded so defeated at this point the more she listened to the dark angel explain his side of the story.

"Don't get me wrong! You're a strong girl! One of the strongest opponents I have ever fought! I like strong people!" Dark Pit began explaining trying his best to not make her cry even though she had every right to with how he was laying down the law for her. "I'm…not interested in romance either…being single is such a nice thing that I don't want to be tied down by everyone's expectations…you get me?"

"…Yes I do."

"H-Huh?! Then why…"

"Lived…you have impressed this girl. This girl has spent most of her life trying to avoid marriage." She smirked when she said that. "Most men where I am from are not attractive, so I came up with a rule that they needed to bring me treasure and then beat me in a battle. There were so many suckers who found me the equipment I use in battle. They saw it as junk…I saw it as a weapon that would make me unstoppable. I…already thought I was unbeatable with it…but apparently I'm not…"

"You could have won that battle."

"I have a lot to learn…"

"Just concentrate on reading your opponent better. You just do things randomly…"

Kaguya never really considered that she had no battle plan. She enjoyed going in stabbing and shooting everything. Her weapons were not of the feudal era, so she had the element of surprise on her side every time. Dark Pit already knew how to counter her, so take that away and she was doomed to fail without a good plan.

"I'm sorry…but I don't believe that strength alone should equal to love." Dark Pit added. "I'm may be clueless…but I know it takes time to build relationships. We can't just fight and marry immediately. There's no love in that…"

"…You talk about strength…when other men only talked about my wealth or my appearance."

"Well, those guys are obviously wrong! You're more than just a pretty face with a lot of fancy equipment!" Pittoo exclaimed catching her off guard again. "R-Really…don't read between the lines on that one. It's true…I'm not the guy for you…just…live the life you want first before you decide to settle down…and no more high expectations either because you'll be disappointed in the end."

Dark Pit probably rambled on more than he wanted about his view in love and marriage. Kaguya may have been hard headed, but he drove the point home on why they couldn't be together. She seemed to have taken it very well except…

"There's nothing to do here then…" Kaguya mumbled as she turned tail to leave. "At least I know I can claim that I still won in Mel Fair Land and can continue from there. I need a strong opponent after all."

By the time Dark Pit finished ranting and turning his head toward the collector, he ended up gasping at soft lips pressing against his own. His eyes widened realizing what she had just done.

"At least I got my good-bye kiss." She hummed. "You can be my first."

Pittoo was a bumbling mess as Kaguya skipped away into the darkness of the night. He wanted to chase her down but feared tripping over a grave during his small meltdown.

"D-DAMN YOU! THAT WAS MY FIRST TOO!"

After five days of not showing up, Dark Pit was certain that Kaguya wasn't coming back. Things have slowed down and could finally get some relaxation and the best place to relax was in the seventh division's hot spring. Aqua was kind enough to have Dark Pit have the hot spring to himself. His muscles have been sore all week from training and outrunning the "rabbit" girl. He didn't know how Pit was able to do it so easily because without the "gameplay mechanics" that Pit whined about, the angel captain was incredibly athletic and could run multiple marathons without breaking too much of a sweat.

It felt odd to not have a stalker watching his every move though. Perhaps he got use to it rather quickly that he was starting to miss Kaguya now…only a little. If she toned down how annoying she was he might allow her to do it all the time.

"The water is so warm…" Pittoo hummed as he submerged himself into the hot spring. "I can stay here forever and no one is going to make me leave."

The dark angel didn't stay in the hot spring for too long. He didn't want to be like Pit and pass out when no one was around. He probably stayed for an hour before he stood out of the hot spring. The water dripped down from his hair down to his naked chest. The dark angel forgot to bring a towel with him when he went into the hot spring, so he was just going to make a mad dash from the seventh division to the fifth division. Hopefully no one would see him in the nude.

A towel was given to him the minute he got out of the seventh division hot spring. Without looking, the black clad doppelganger seized the towel from the mysterious person and wiped his face with it.

"Thanks Arachne." The dark angel thanked thinking it was his vice captain.

"Don't mention it even though I'm not the spider girl."

Dark Pit froze hearing the familiar voice. His eyes widened when he actually looked and was greeted by giant watermelons. He yelped as he jumped back. Unfortunately there wasn't a wall behind him so he ended up falling through the air and landing on his butt. The towel he had fortunately covered his private parts when he went down.

"Did you miss me Lived, honey?" Kaguya questioned as she intended to sit on top of him while he was naked.

"Yes…NO! Why are you here! I called it off!"

"Tee-hee. You think I'm here for that?"

When Kaguya still didn't take Dark Pit's advice in keeping her breasts in check and was leering at him seductively, one could easily see she still wanted to marry the black angel.

"Actually…" There was no weight added on top of Dark Pit seeing as how Kaguya stood over him and offered her hand out to him instead. She smirked while doing so. "I hope you'll be willing to listen to my request."

At least Dark Pit knew she was serious when she wasn't speaking in third person. He reluctantly allowed her to help him off the ground. The black angel made sure to wrap the towel around him in a way so that it will not fall down.

"What is it if it's not marriage?"

To say that Dark Pit wasn't surprised when Kaguya suddenly went on her knees with her blade at her side was an understatement.

"…Please let me train under you."

"Huh?!"

"I already told everyone in the human world that it was time for me to return to the heavens above." She smirked when she said that as a matter of fact statement when she lifted her head up. "I haven't given up on you Lived. If my appearance and money isn't enough for you, then I'll simply have to train to get stronger until I finally beat you. Then you'll have no choice but to marry me."

It always came back to Kaguya. Dark Pit at first was impressed at Kaguya's resolve to abandon the easy life to train under him…but on the other hand if she was only training to get strong enough so she could marry him then…

"You know, you're not convincing me by giving me the reason you want to serve under me." Pittoo told her with a sigh. "You realize that my division is treated like dirt, do you? You realize that you won't see your family again and that money isn't going to help you under me now, do you? I really hope you thought this through."

"I did. I gave it nearly a week." Kaguya told him. "You already know what I thought in the past. Men only cared for my money or appearance, but never me…"

"And what makes you think I'll be any different from them?"

"You already showed that Lived. It's why I want to get stronger by your side…" Again she put her head down as she pleaded for Dark Pit to take her under his wing. "Please!"

In the back of his mind, Dark Pit felt it would be wrong to reject her. She gave up everything…and it would make him look bad if he sent her back to the human world. He doubted that there was anyone that could match her skill. She was unpolished at the moment as much as he was in fighting. If they trained together then maybe the dark angel would have a chance achieving more than what he already had now. By himself, Dark Pit realized that maybe he wasn't worth much in comparison to Pit who despite all of his problems had accomplished so much. He already started his own path by recruiting Arachne to serve under him, so maybe having a human companion wouldn't hurt either.

"…I doubt I'll ever fall for you," Dark Pit began in almost a whisper, "but I do see the potential you have. It would be a waste to throw it away and leave you in Mel Fair Land. So…I'll let you train with me…"

"Really?!" The collector exclaimed as she immediately sat up. Dark Pit swore that her boobs defied gravity with how they bounced up and nearly hit her face.

"Just on the condition that you don't cause me any trouble…and that means not peaking at me when I'm in the hot spring or trying to sneak into my bed."

Kaguya almost looked disappointed, but Dark Pit said yes to training under him, so it was a compromise she would have to make.

"Don't disappoint me." Lived told her.

"I won't!"

"Also…" Dark Pit sighed realizing how much stress he'll be under with two energetic girls under him. "Try to get along with Arachne…she's a cool person, but she doesn't like being challenged."

When Kaguya stood up, she was going to say she'd try her best. However, Arachne went out to look for her captain. Seeing the big breasted girl in front of a mostly naked angel was enough to set her off.

"Hey, didn't you get told off?! Why are you still here?!" Arachne shouted from across the hall.

"I could ask you the same thing! Why are you stalking the hot spring area?!"

"I was worried that Lived drowned in the hot spring. Why are you here?"

"I'm going to be the apprentice of Lived now, so you can just suck on these breasts!"

"Hey, I like boobs but yours are too big!"

Dark Pit slowly snuck away as Arachne finally made it to the two and butted foreheads with the raven haired human. Perhaps he should retract everything he said just to keep his sanity and dick in check.

Me: Done with 10559 words.

Li: Why am I paired up with this big boobed woman child again?

Me: Pit technically has Laila under him in my Smash stories, so I figured why not finish the story of The Tale of the Bamboo Cutter and have Kaguya leave her normal life for something more exciting and by exciting I mean Kaguya serving under you. Notes!

1. If this isn't obvious already in all the stories I write, Pit and Laharl are stuck in an engagement due to Palutena and King Krichevskoy signing some sort of deal when Palutena recently took Pit in when he was a child and before Laharl was even born (the demon king is an idiot.) Pit has done all of his power to either reject the future marriage entirely or simply dates everyone but Laharl (who is too young anyway). Anytime love and marriage are brought up, Pit gets upset because of it. This is just one of the few stories where Pit attempts to break the engagement and fails miserably.

2. Kaguya has yet to actually appear in the Queen's Blade anime. Because she's part of the Grimoire cast, most of the interpretation is just based on the small profile and prologue translated on the wiki page. Kaguya is pretty much set up as the poster girl of Grimoire even if she's not the main character simply because of how much hype was built around her (not to mention that a lot of her poses gave me the impression she was like Iron Man). Since I loved her design so much (and I wanted someone who knew how to handle technology given the Kid Icarus cast is ahead of its time) I wanted her to be under Dark Pit. I should note a lot of her poses in battle are based on her combat book, which can be viewed online. The ones I specifically used in this order are 45, 49, 11, 23, 1, 53 and 35.

3. Related to the above, Kaguya's race is ambiguous. Like she claims to be from the moon, but she's obviously human. The rabbit ears are the Buddha's Stone Begging Bowl. However, I made it apparent that whether or not she's from the moon, she can use the powers from the moonlight. For now, I'll say she's human while constantly mocked in universe for not being a moon rabbit.

4. The pot breaking is an obvious reference to Legend of Zelda and Link's tendency to break pots for rupees.

5. The archangels (or at least three of them) are shown here with their implied jobs. Remember how I talked about how my friend and I are making a visual novel game? This is where they would work. Michael works at the flower shop, Gabriel works at the pet shop and Ariel works at the weapon shop. Rafael who isn't mentioned works at the hospital due to being the healer of the group.

6. Running around the temple is a reference in The Iliad of Achilles chasing Hector around Troy's walls. You may now insert the Benny Hill theme during this stupid moment with Dark Pit and Kaguya.

7. The Harvest Moon joke stems from how the best way to win someone's affection is sending him or her gifts that they like. Kaguya is a collector so this method worked perfectly.

That's it. Reviews are appreciated. Ja ne!