Title: Before It's Too Late
Rating: T
Summary: Takes place during the episode "Ben 10,000." Gwendolyn's reasons for bringing 10-year-old Ben and Gwen to the future. Slight Ben 10,000 x Gwendolyn.
A/N: Partly inspired by the song "Turn Back Time" by Aqua.
Gwendolyn studied the time portal spell for what felt like the millionth time, trying to figure out what had gone wrong this time. Try as she might, she just couldn't get the spell to work. She'd been trying to get it right for the past 7 years. Yet it still eluded her.
She knew there would be consequences to using the spell, that it could change her timeline in ways unknown. She'd no longer be the same person, and neither would anyone else.
And that was the point. She had to try. She was desperate. Ben 10,000 wouldn't be around for much longer if she didn't succeed. He'd been running himself into the ground for years, obsessed with patrolling Earth and fighting every criminal on the planet. These days, he lived at his headquarters, took everything way too seriously and had no time for rest or fun at all.
He was constantly exhausted, burnt out, short-tempered – a complete jerk to everyone. He isolated himself and acted like he didn't have time to care about anyone. He didn't want or need help, he had told her. That had hurt. They had always been a team.
Though he still relied on her, he made it clear to her that he didn't really need her. He was merely tolerating her presence and attempts to help him.
It wasn't like there weren't other heroes who wanted to help. The Galactic Enforcers were constantly complaining that he didn't leave them anything to do, and there were many others with superpowers who were committed to defending the planet.
But Ben acted as though he alone could save the universe. It was as though he'd forgotten he was human, and she couldn't figure out how to remind him that he was. She had to think of something before he dropped dead from a heart attack right before her very eyes. He was certainly headed in that direction. She couldn't let that happen. He was only 30 and too young to die that way.
He couldn't go on living this way, and neither could she. She had stayed by his side and been his constant companion for the last 20 years. She should have left him a long time ago. In many ways, she was enabling him. She knew that, but she couldn't bring herself to leave him. She loved him too much. He needed her, even though he didn't like to admit it. They were both trapped. She didn't think she could take it much longer. Something had to give.
She longed to turn back time and change the past. If only she had known back then what she knew now… maybe she would have told him a long time ago that she loved him, that he didn't have to be alone. There were so many times when she could have said something. In the past, she had often suspected he felt the same way about her. She was certain that if only she had given him any indication that she would reciprocate, he would have confessed his love for her long ago.
But she had been too afraid to tell him, and now it was too late.
And so she kept working on the time portal spell.
Finally, after years and years of trying, Gwendolyn had mastered the time portal spell.
She had used it to kidnap herself at 10 and bring her back to the future. She knew Ben would follow. He always did.
She hoped that it would remind Ben 10,000 of what he had been like as a kid, carefree, adventurous and affectionate with his family. That he could still be a hero and Ben too. That he would realize that he could still love and depend on others.
Even if he didn't, it wasn't too late for 10-year-old Ben to make different choices. She knew he didn't like the way Ben 10,000 had turned out, and she hoped Ben 10 would make changes.
She also hoped her younger self would understand how important it was to appreciate him. Don't let him end up like this. Don't let us turn out this way. It was her silent plea to her younger self.
These days Gwendolyn never had a chance to be alone with Ben, much less really talk to him. He was never Ben. He was always in alien form and never stopped for even a second. She often felt that she had failed him because she couldn't stop him from destroying himself.
But her younger self could influence the younger Ben. They still talked, and they were still close. No matter how much they fought and teased each other, she could see how fond they were of each other. She could remember what it used to be like between her and Ben.
It had amused her to see her younger self putting Ben in his place. She always told him exactly what she thought.
When had that changed? She supposed that after she had realized she was in love with him, it had become more difficult for her to speak her mind with him.
But seeing her younger self do it, and with such success reminded her how important it was. It emboldened her and gave her courage. It gave her hope.
She wanted to have that closeness back.
As they watched 10-year-old Ben and Gwen disappear into the time portal and back into their own time, Gwendolyn couldn't help but smile.
She only hoped it was enough. Only time would tell. If things did change, she wouldn't remember it anyway. Hopefully she had changed the past, and the future.
She was tired of having so many regrets and constantly wishing she could go back and do it all over again. What she regretted most was not the things she had said, but the things she had not. She had hurt him more by remaining silent. She knew that now.
Falling in love with him had changed her. She cared too much what he thought of her, and it made her overly cautious. It prevented her from telling him off when he really needed it. These days she found it difficult to disagree with him or challenge him. He didn't listen to her anyway.
It didn't used to be that way.
She looked over to where he was standing. He was staring at the spot where the time portal had been, lost in thought.
She wondered if he had regrets too.
He caught her staring at him, and she quickly looked away.
He came over to her, and to her surprise hugged her tightly.
"Thank you," he said softly.
"You're welcome," she managed.
He smiled at her. There was such affection and gratitude in his eyes. She tried not to feel self-conscious. She couldn't remember the last time she'd been this close to him.
Maybe she didn't have to wait for her younger self to change the future – her present – after all.
Maybe…
Maybe it was never too late.
The End