A/N: I really shouldn't been writing this. But who doesn't like Fred and George? Anyway, I'll be updating this every time I'm struck with a particularly weird idea for a Fred/George one-shot, and I don't know how long this'll last. But anyway. Each will start with a Moral.
Moral Number One:
Don't ever hit on girls carrying large beater bats.
George twiddled with the muggle video camera that he tricked out with the help of some Gryffindor sixth years. "It better work," he muttered.
Fred leaned against the wall with a rougish grin on his face, looking at the Hufflepuff beater. She was working her speed up, hitting all of those bludgers with an intense ferocity. There was no question that the Hufflepuff had the best beaters, but had the worst chasers.
"Hey Fred," George said. "What'cha up to?"
"Marisa Harper is mine," Fred said. "Look at her, she's hot, man."
George snickered. "Oh yeah?" He pantonimed dancing around. "She'll club you, man. And she is hot. In a scary way."
"Weasleys are not scared," Fred said.
"Let's think about it this way," George with with an evil grin. "She's in...what, second year? And you're in...third. And...oh wait. She'll clobber you on the head."
Fred smiled hugely. "But we're meant to be. Don't you know, George? We're going to have many little brown and red haired children running around with broomsticks!"
George snickered. "BROOMSTICKS?"
Fred seemed to realize what he had just said and turned red indignantly. "Brother of mine, you are worse than Charlie."
"Gred, you have no idea how perverted you could be."
"But I love her!" Fred said. "She's gorgeous."
"Yeah, well, go ask her out, then. She's done."
Fred leapt up eagerly and strutted towards the twelve year old girl.
The video camera in George's hand clicked and sprang to life and he zoomed in on Fred and recorded it. "Alright. So, this is going to be...dah dah DAH! The Adventures of Gred and Forge! Yay!" The camera shook as he danced around gleefully. "And Fred is going to ask out the one, the only MARISA HARPER. Let's see what she'll do, folks." He gave a cackle and the camera shook again.
Fred strutted towards the girl, who was downing a glass of water. "Hey Harper," he said.
"Weasley," she replied cooly.
"So, Harper, you looked hot out there."
"No doubt," said Marisa. "It's blazing out here."
"And you were really good at the whole hitting the bludgers bit."
"So was Mackentosh, so why don't you go compliment him?"
"He's not so good looking, is he?"
Marisa rolled her eyes. "Do you have a point, Weasley? If you don't, then leave!"
"I'll only leave when you snog me!"
Ten seconds later...
The camera zoomed in, rocking up and down as George sprinted towards Fred, snickering all the while. Fred was on the grass, eyes gazing up at the sky with a slightly ditzy expression. "George?" he said. "The clouds look funny."
Marisa shouldered her bat. "That'll teach you to snog-attack me!" She stalked away.
George lost it. He started cackling, howling, booming with laughter while Fred glared at him and rubbed a lump on his head. "Your fail has been recorded forever!" George said.
Fred lunged for the camera. "Give me that!"
"You kidding? No way!"
"Yes, give me it!"
"No!"
"Yes!"
The camera screen went black as it was shoved into the dirt as George cackled like a loon.
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