2015.08.03: Originally posted on FFN in September of 2007, I then backed the fic up on a now-defunct site called " " and eventually deleted the FFN original. When you read it, you'll know why I deleted it (hint: it's awful!). Now I've managed to salvage it with the Wayback Machine. I was 15 when I wrote this, my Evangelion fandom friend at the time was "RanFromRain" (aka. CagesForBluebirds and a host of other usernames).
— Original A/N:
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Disclaimer: I don't own Evangelion.
Shinji swallowed, scowling with disgust as the too-sweet liquid went down his throat slowly, sugar coating his teeth and carbonation making him feel as if the bones were about to rot away. Drinks such as this were unpleasant, but sometimes it was the only thing he could get in the middle of the night when his temporary roommate was sleeping and when the microwave would be too loud.
As he closed the refrigerator door, blankets rustled. He winced, praying that his actions hadn't woken the other boy up. A hand, eerily pale in the darkness of the apartment, reached slowly out from underneath the warmth of the quilt and struggled for a moment. There was a low moan, a few more restless movements, and then all was silent again. Shinji breathed a sigh of relief and took another drink from the aluminum can.
It's sickly taste made him frown and run his tongue across his mouth. He'd have to brush his teeth after this, again, but he didn't want to risk knocking something over when looking for his toothbrush in the dark. He was being selfish staying here so long and he didn't want to make it worse by adding insomnia to Kaworu's list of troubles.
Where were his parents, anyways?
A murmur and a glance towards his right accompanied the trip back to the bed, bare feet tracing idle patterns in the carpet as he sat down on the edge of the mattress. So far the fifth child hadn't said anything about making him leave, and he supposed that was a good thing. But all he was doing was running away, breaking a promise he had made to himself countless times. What would come next?
Someone would come looking for him, they always did. They needed him now more than ever. Rei wasn't Rei and Asuka wasn't Asuka and Kaworu was a mysterious boy with mysterious talent, and the only constant was himself. Why should he pilot Eva anymore? It used to be the only reason for his existence. Why his father looked at him from that table way up high, eyes cold and expression dark, why Misato met him and took him in, why he had friends. Friends that did nothing but disappear.
Leaning back, he jumped as he accidentally brushed against his roommate's warm skin. Caresses and unexpected touches between the two of them seemed to happen more and more the longer they stayed together. Maybe it was a trick of his mind, overrun and exhausted from too many thoughts of nightmares and crowded rooms. Or maybe he was so paranoid about everything else that he could let his guard down about this, personal space and the warmth of contact. Either way, it was inevitable.
Shinji emptied the still-cold can and grimaced, setting it down lightly on the shelf next to the bed. He moved under the quilt, careful to watch out for the sleeping boy, and turned to face the room away from the other's resting form. Maybe tomorrow would be a better day.