"You don't fix faith River, it fixes you." Those were the last words he had spoken to her the last time they'd had this debate. She had spent many hours contemplating his words since then and though they sort of made sense, she still couldn't help finding the faith based approach to be illogical. However, recent events had forced her to reconsider her position and she was desperate to know how he felt. And so she searched for him, knowing there were only so many places he could be on a ship the size of Serenity.
After spending an hour or so searching she finally found him in the common area. He was sitting at the table, reading his Bible as usual, and he seemed not to notice her. For a moment she was unsure if she should approach him. What if he didn't want to be disturbed? What if by disturbing him she made him angry? What would he do then? Would he hand her back over to the Alliance? No, that couldn't be right. Book was a man of God, an honorable man who didn't care about money or a quick score. He wouldn't hand her over to the Alliance, no matter what she did. He wasn't Jayne, after all.
"Hello River." he said then, the sound of his voice making her jump.
She glanced at him and saw that he was smiling. Taking this as a positive sign she moved to the table and sat, her gaze never leaving him.
"What can I do for you River?" Book asked, setting his Bible aside.
"I...can we talk?" she asked, casting a nervous glance around the room.
"Certainly." Book answered. "What would you like to talk about?"
River glanced at the Bible before answering. "Faith." she said, her voice barely a whisper. "I wish to discuss faith."
Book was silent a moment before responding. "You wish to discuss faith?" he asked, his tone slightly puzzled.
"Yes." River answered. "Faith. And Logic. And what makes them different."
"Well, that is certainly an interesting topic of discussion." Book said. "But do you remember what happened the last time we had this discussion?"
"Yes." River answered, not meeting his gaze. "I was fixing your Bible and you told me the Bible can't be fixed. You told me it was about faith, that you don't fix faith, it fixes you. I have tried to understand this, but I can't. There are too many variables for me to look at it logically."
"Well, there's your problem River." Book said. "You can't understand faith by using logic. You just have to believe and let that belief guide you."
"What if I can't?" River asked, a note of panic in her voice. "I try, but everything is numbers and symbols for me. I don't know if I can see the verse any other way. Maybe I could when I was little but now..." Her voice trailed off as she fought the urge to cry.
Book moved to comfort her, sensing that she was on the verge of a complete breakdown. He knew it was hard for her. She had lost so much at the Academy and every day was a struggle for her to hold on to the few pieces she had left. But she wasn't completely gone, broken as she was. Book knew there was an extraordinary young woman in there, hidden somewhere beneath the layers of psychosis and paranoia. And it was this extraordinary young woman he appealed to now in an attempt to bring her back to reality.
"River, you can't think that way." he said, his tone soothing. "If you want it bad enough you can find peace. You are one of God's children. He will help you, if you want Him to."
River looked at him, her expression uncomprehending at first. And then she nodded. "I understand." she said. "But I still need proof. You say there is a God, but logic dictates that this isn't the case. So, what is the truth?"
"Logic dictates God doesn't exist huh?" Book said, amused by her matter-of-fact approach. "This is what you are taught in school, but have you ever considered that the opposite is true? Perhaps logic exists precisely because God exists."
"You make a good point Shepard." River conceded. "But it still doesn't prove anything."
"Perhaps you are right." Book replied. "Perhaps it doesn't prove anything, but let me ask you, if there is no God how do you explain miracles?"
"Coincidence?" River said, with a shrug. "I don't know. How would you define what a miracle is, assuming such a thing exists?"
"I don't believe it is my place to define what a miracle is." Book answered. Seeing that this answer was not enough he added, "But if I were to give a definition I would say a miracle is something that has no other explanation."
"So, a coincidence then?" River asked, attempting to clarify Book's response.
"No, not a coincidence." Book said. "Coincidence suggests probability, but miracles are unpredictable. No one can say when or where a miracle will occur or who they will happen to. Even the most devout cannot say for sure."
"So, you're saying that miracles may not exist at all?" River asked.
"I suppose it is possible." Book conceded. "But I believe they do. That is what faith is River. Believing in something even when you can't see it, or taste it, or touch it, or smell it, or hear it."
"But it doesn't make sense to believe in something without physical evidence of its existence." River said. "Logically, the only way to verify the validity of anything is to examine it. That is what logic is. How do you examine something that you can't see, taste, touch, smell, or hear?"
Book had no response to this. River's argument was seemingly impenetrable, but he knew there was a way to get her to understand faith. He just wasn't sure what that way was. River was a genius after all. There was very little she did not already understand and the few things that escaped her were rapidly falling to the power of her intellect. Still, he had to try, if only to help her answer her initial question.
"Well, what if you consider things that were previously thought not to exist?" he asked, fixing River with a serious stare.
"Such as?" River asked, though it was obvious she was intrigued by this new puzzle.
"Take, for example, the Reavers." Book said. "Many people in the Alliance will have you believe they don't exist, but people out on the rim believe they exist without a doubt, even if they haven't seen them. How do you explain that? If the only evidence that Reavers exist is stories, why do so many people believe they exist?"
"The stories are believable." River answered immediately, though she seemed unsure of her answer. "The people telling the stories make them seem real, but they aren't."
"But they are real River." Book said. "You know this to be true. You've seen them and their handiwork. You know Reavers exist and so do a lot of other people who haven't seen them the way you and I have. So why do they believe that which they have never seen?"
"Faith." River answered, understanding hitting her then. "They believe because of faith."
"Exactly." Book answered. "So if faith works for something like Reavers, why can't it work for God?"
"It can work." River answered. "But logic can work too. We know the reason the Reavers exist. They exist because the Alliance made them. That's the logical explanation."
"Yes, I suppose it is." Book agreed. "But it took faith to believe that the Reavers existed before we, or anyone else, could think to go looking for their origins."
River smiled and nodded, seeming to agree with him. "I still don't think everything you've told me makes sense, but I think I understand now." she said, glancing at Book.
"I am glad I could help." he said, with a smile. "Just remember River, it doesn't matter if you follow the path of faith or the path of logic, just so long as you believe in something. That's what truly matters."
River nodded again and rose to her feet before turning to leave. It was then that she noticed Simon, Kaylee, and Jayne watching her from the doorway.
"What're you two talking about in here?" Jayne asked, eying River and Book with suspicion.
"That's for us to know and you to figure out, if you can." River answered, smirking at Jayne as she moved towards the exit.
"Huh?" Jayne asked, confused. "Did she just insult me or something?"
"I think she may have." Simon answered, glancing at Jayne with amusement while Kaylee giggled. "Don't be too surprised Jayne, she is a genius after all."
"Yeah, right, a genius." Jayne muttered. "Gorramn lunatic is more like it."
"No, just a genius." River said from the next room. "A genius who can kill you with her brain. Just remember that."
Jayne froze, fear crossing his face, before quickly heading for his bunk, River's laughter following him.
"So, what were you two talking about?" Kaylee asked, glancing first at Book and then at River, who had drifted back into the room.
"Faith and Logic." River answered. "And how they can be used to explain the verse."
Simon and Kaylee looked confused and Book moved to answer their unasked questions. "We were just having a conversation about faith. River was interested and I tried to enlighten her as best I could."
Simon nodded, seeming to understand. "Well, I guess that makes sense." he said, glancing at River.
"Of course it makes sense." River said. "After all, there is an explanation for everything. Just remember, it doesn't matter what you believe, as long as you believe something." With that, she left, leaving Book, Simon, and Kaylee to contemplate her words as she moved on to the next puzzle, deciding which path to follow, the path of logic or the path of faith.
End.
A/N: Well there it is, my first Firefly fic. I've had this idea for a while now, I just couldn't find the time to write it. So I decided to take a break from my other stuff to write it now. I know, some people are gonna be upset that I'm using valuable time to write a one shot when I shout be focusing on A Destiny of Death, or the Akatsuki Comedy Hour, or the sequel to A Place Called Home, or whatever else I have to work on, but I just felt like doing this now. I was re-watching Firefly and I got inspired. So sue me. Inspiration strikes at the strangest times. Anyway, I just want to make it clear that this fic is not meant to be a criticism of logic or faith, it is simply my attempt at expanding a scene from the show. So please don't think I am criticizing anything and please keep your reviews peaceful. Also, I'm not sure exactly where in the continuity this story falls, but it is likely after the movie, albeit in an AU sense as Book is still alive. Finally, I changed the rating on this because it was pointed out to me that it didn't really need to be M and because I felt like it. I know it doesn't make sense so still, please don't waste time trying to understand the way my mind works. You'll just get lost, trust me. Even I get lost in my mind from time to time and it's my gorramn mind! Anyway, hope you enjoy and please leave reviews. Thanks. One more thing, which I forgot to add when I first posted this, I own nothing. All characters are the property of the incomparable Joss Whedon.