NOTE: Obviously I don't own Ruki or Reita or The GazettE. If I did own them I wouldn't be writing fiction based on them, now would I?
Enjoy!
Parenthood comes to someone rather suddenly. Everything can be planned to perfection, to every minor detail before that little person enters the world, but even so, it's the moment the parents lay eyes on the child that really makes everything hit. The usual questions go through the person's head like 'can I do this?' and 'Am I really ready?' and 'Can this be real?' all of which will be answered in time.
For two unlikely people, the arrival of the son, whose blood was a different shade to both of theirs', was unexpected and not in the way that people would think. These two people where Suzuki Akira and Matsumoto Takanori, two young men now at the age of 26 and 25. Their lives at the time were busy but close to perfect, with careers forever becoming more successful, and their satisfaction in life flowing like a stream on a nice windless summer's day. Under the names of their second personalities- Reita and Ruki- the two had made themselves well known in the music business as musicians; as a bass guitarist and singer to be precise, in a rock band that used heavy shock value.
Their relationship with one another was somewhat confusing. All though their close friends and family knew that they shared a flat together, no one but themselves knew of the deeper relationship that the two shared in private. They kept it a well hidden secret for many reasons, most notably being due to the reaction of others, and how it might affect their band 'The Gazette'. But one night in 2003, this would all begin to change-
You know what? Let's quit the fancy talk and just say everything straight, yeah? I mean, I'm not writing a new set of lyrics here and this technically is my confession on my secret true life of the past three years… And why the hell am I writing in the 3rd person about myself?! I've been reading too much English Victorian novellas lately I think…
Re-start-
I'm Matsumoto Takanori, and you may all know me as Ruki now… If you don't then how about the singer-guy from 'that band' who sang that song called Ruder? Yeah, that's me!
Anyway, after a few years of thought, I officially decided I've had enough of hiding a few certain parts of personal life in shadows as if they were embarrassing or something. This is something I'm proud of and I don't want to have it locked up any more like a demented animal. Music is my number one love, that's what I tell everyone, but to be honest, there's two other things, two people, who share that number one spot as well.
In this confession, I'm going to make all those yaoi-obsessed fan girls scream in happiness, but then again cry when you realise I'm not such a super cool, scary, pretty rocker-like guy behind closed doors. I mean, I try to be, and in the beginning I was, but in the last year or two I've sort chucked the looking-sexy-all-day-look away in my free time. You tend not have to time to curl your hair and put your make-up when you have some else who needs a lot of help just putting on a shirt and jumper… And that's just Reita! The other person in my life is a lot more trouble.
It was 9 o'clock at night at the end of a day in 2003, a year after our band had first debuted. I was sitting in the passenger seat of the car with my secret boyfriend and bassist Reita driving next to me. We were on our way home from filming our new music video for our song 'wife'. Me and Reita had decided to try and miss the traffic, so we thought it would be a clever move to leave early, still in our costumes and make-up. I even still had the foaming cream stuck in my fringe. Much to our bad luck, we ended up stuck in the bloody traffic anyway. I moaned constantly with boredom, leaning my head back and kicking my skinny legs up onto the dashboard.
"Won't be long…" Reita kept muttering every five minutes, the whole time staring at the jammed road in front of us, willing it to move with his mind. I think he started to lose belief in saying that quite quickly, but he kept on just for the luck of it…
I scowled at him when he said it for a seventh time since we'd been paused, but it went unnoticed by the bassist since he was concentrating far too hard on the frozen road in front of us.
It had been a long day that day… It wasn't bad in anyway, accept for the current situation of being stuck in bloody choca-blocka traffic, and had actually been one of the best day's in my life. It was such fun wearing that strange suit, having all the strange make up smacked on my face and being tied up and acting like some kind of mental patient! Even now, I still think shock value videos are the best to film, but we don't do them so much anymore… We've sort of grown up a lot recently, but no one can really wonder why. As I sat in the car, deep in thought, I quickly came to the conclusion that I could really get used to a life of fame. I can remember sitting in the car, the heating blowing straight into my face to keep me warm and protect us from the cold night air outside, wondering if this time next year we would be known worldwide! Or, at least be very well known in Japan! I was so determined and hopeful for our band to be an utter success that I forgot a lot of things in my life. I even ended up getting disowned by my parents. It was kind of my fault, well it was almost completely, since I chose music over my own family. But now, due to the situation I was about to get myself in, I'm not sure if it might have been better to be in contact with my parents of whether it was good that at the time I was no longer in contact with them, or to be correct, being totally ignored by them. They might have been able to help in some ways, but something tells me they would have told me to get rid of him…
I literally cheered loudly as the traffic began to move after an hours wait, slowly and surely at first, before picking up full speed so we we're back to doing 40 miles an hour down the road, heading for home. With the hum of the motor, the soft rock music flowing from the car speakers and the warm air, I soon began to feel overcome by fatigue. My eyes began to close as Reita turned down a road off the highway and into the countryside rice field roads we always went down as a short cut. I remember thinking to myself 'home in 20 minutes…' before closing my eyes with exhaustion. After that my thoughts became rambled and uneasy as I headed to dreamland. But I never actually managed to get to dream land. I was awoken by Reita's scream of alarm, and the car making a quick, jolting swerve round something in the road. I opened my eyes and ended up screaming myself as I saw a thick, hanging tree branch getting a little too close to my side of the wind screen a little too quick. Lucky for me, Reita thrust his foot on to the brake, saving me from having the dreaded tree threaded through my collier bone. We stopped with such force, that we were both sent forward, saved by our seatbelts pulling us back successfully.
For a second, we just sat there, breathing heavily and staring forward in utter shock, our chests throbbing from the seatbelts grip and the muscles in our necks screaming in agony; whip lash is always fun. Reita's hands were gripping the steering wheel tightly, his eyes wide and terrified. He shook himself from his term of shock, before he began to clumsily undo his seat belt buckle in a panic to jump out the car and investigate.
"What the fuck-" Was all I could say, and in a screechy voice too, quickly turning my quivering head to Reita in confusion, just to see him jump out the car like a mad man. I undid my own seatbelt with quivering hands before throwing the door open and following suit with stomping feet, my own curiosity for what Reita had swerved to miss running over.
"What the hell was it-" I asked angrily, before my words froze on the edge of my lips.
Reita was bending down in front of a small, terrified looking young boy holding a cuddling toy. The boy was clearly very young, a year old, maybe almost two, with a jet black hair with a brown tint to it that hung to his ears. His big brown eyes turned to me in true horror, and then grew wider at the sight of me. This was when he started crying, dropping his toy at the sight and staring at me as if was about to murder him with a block headed hammer. The child howled loudly, little screeches appearing amongst the grizzled cries every so often.
"Ruki" Reita hissed "It's your make up!"
I frowned at him, before stomping over to the young boy, and quickly hauling the child up under the arms. Make-up is make up. No one should be afraid of someone because of a little paint! That was my opinion, and with my opinions I don't care what age the person is- it still goes. Well, I WANTED people to be scared because of make-up in music videos, but at that moment I didn't want anyone freaking out because of my strange face paint. I held the boy out in front of me, staring at him in annoyance and frustration.
"Ruki!" was Reita's angry cry at me, standing up with an expression of alarm and fear at what I was going to do, his arm at the ready to save the boy from my clutches.
The child cried harder in my hold, one hand covering a tearing eye and the other holding onto his dungaree strap, absolutely terrified of my face. I did my best to soften my expression and act as nice and safe-like as I could, now losing my tough exterior and just feeling like an utter prick… He was only a baby anyway, wasn't he? How would he know the difference between me and the supposed monster under his bed?
"Hey" I said in a voice kinder and higher then was natural for me "It's okay" I slowly brought the child closer to me, holding him against my chest, my hand supporting his back. "I'm not going to hurt you" The child turned his face away from my own, but even so, placed his head on to my shoulder, burying his wet eyes into my suit.
I looked at Reita with worried eyes "Where did he come from?"
"How am I supposed to know?" The skinny blonde scoffed in reply quietly with a shrug "He was just there in the road…" Reita stepped closer, reaching a hand up and stroking the boys tousled locks.
The little boy flinched and turned his little head to face us both. His tears had finally ceased, leaving his brown eyes all large, glossy and sparkling like little stars. Reita stretched his hand out once again and stroked the child's cheek with the back on his finger. A small smile appeared on the boy's face, a little giggle erupting from his rosebud mouth. I couldn't help but give a little laugh too at the boy's sudden joy.
"Can you speak?" Reita asked gently and slowly
The child just stared at him for a second "Yes…" came the stretched word from the pink lips.
"What's your name?" I asked in a sweet voice.
Keeping his head down, the boy replied unhelpfully with "No…"
"He doesn't have a name?" Reita stated with raised eyebrows.
"He must have a name…" I argued, readjusting my hold on the child so it was more secure. The boy replied by wrapping his arms round my neck tightly, and then simply laying his head on my shoulder. He still didn't look at me…
"Maybe he doesn't know it…" Reita mumbled, his finger still running over the child's cheek as if he'd never seen a baby before.
The boy giggled, his little chubby hand whizzing out, from around my neck and grabbing Reita's middle finger happily, laughing and giggling in utter delight. It was moments before I realised that I was smiling fondly at the sight. I shook away the expression, and looked back at Reita with a serious face.
"What do we do with him?" I asked in my natural voice.
Reita looked round at our dark setting and sighed, slowly pulling his finger away from the baby "Well… There aren't any houses round here for about two miles"
I blinked, not understand the point of him saying that. He caught on to my blinks.
"I mean, he couldn't have walked two miles away from a house" Reita gave me a dumb look while I mimed an 'oh'.
"Should we search the area to see if we can find anyone?"
Reita let out a shaky breath "We'll get in the car and have a little drive to see if we can find anyone who might know him, cool?" He stated, already heading to the car to back up back to the road.
"Alright" I replied slowly with a shrugged, adjusting my hold on the child again.
Reita slammed the door behind him, the sound echoing through the dark woods. As the car started, the young child whimpered in my arms. I tightened my hold on him and stepped back to make sure Reita couldn't hit us when he reversed.
"So, kid…" I spoke awkwardly "You must have a name?"
"Nooo…" The child cooed, one hand flapping against my shoulder as if the question was so offensive that I need to be beaten for it.
If he can't tell me, maybe I should guess? I thought he might be just playing a game with me, so this seemed like the best option
"Is you're name Airi?" I guessed randomly
The child shook his little head.
"Shuichi? Sho?"
The child did the same thing
"Takeshi?"
Another shake of the head. I exhaled tiredly before trying something new just as Reita began to reverse the car.
"You must have a name kid!" I insisted with a little annoyance.
The boy didn't reply, and instead began rubbing his hand slowly up and down my shirt, obviously liking the feel of its soft texture.
"Come on!" Reita complained, yelling out the car window for me and the kid to get in the vehicle.
I shook myself from my thoughts, and ran to the car, flying the door open and jumping in. As soon as I slammed the door shut again, Reita began changing gears, mumbling to himself about 'bad parents' and 'who in the name of god lets a kid walk off?'.
I placed the boy in my lap, and wrapped the seat belt across us both.
"Got any ideas of what his name might be?" I asked lazily.
"Why?" Asked quizzical Reita
"I'm just turning it into a little game…"
I don't know… Hiro?" Reita shrugged.
I looked down at the child asked "Is your name Hiro?"
The child looked up at me innocently and shook his head. I groaned, covering my eyes and rubbing my forehead.
Reita was very wrong. We spent an hour driving around the country side in search of some possible parents but found no one. We didn't see a single person in the country side. To make double sure, we went round every place two times- some of it three! But no. We found no one.
Reita parking on the side of the road as he finally gave up. He sighed heavily, collapsing his head into his hands
"Oh Jesus Christ" he muttered into his palms "God Ruki, what the fuck are we doing?"
I sighed to myself, undoing the seat belt and allowing the boy to move around freely on my lap. The boy chose only to readjust his position so he was sitting side ways across my lap, nuzzling his head against my chest happily, now finally looking up at me. Our eyes met and he stared again. I had one arm that he was resting his back on, the other arm wrapped round to meet to hold the boys side to him from moving a little too much. The hand on my arm that was being used as a wall, twisted itself round to stroke his arm reassuringly, reminding him this was a safe person. At this sudden touch, the boy's head whizzed round and stared at my hand. I heard him gurgle before he grabbed my own small hand with his minuscule hands, holding on tightly to my thumb and baby finger. He looked back up at me, his face not totally relaxed and smiling. He squeaked out a little amazed laughter, before jiggling about on my lap.
I turned my head to see Reita watching with an amused expression.
"The kid likes you, Ruki" He whispered, before turning his gazed to me.
It giggled myself for reasons I wasn't sure of, before my attention was taken back to the baby, who hand let go of my hand, and now had his grip on my shirt, pulling it up and down.
"I think he wants to stand up or something" Reita muttered an explanation.
I looked up at the ceiling and then down at the boy. He was sure he'd be fine standing up, but part of me was worried then I might, somehow, lift him up too high and hit his head. The baby carried on tugging so, with gentle hands, I slowly pulled off, shaking my head and saying like a mother-
"No…"
The boy looked at me with confusion.
"Ruki, aren't you mean?" Laughed Reita fondly.
The boy looked up at me with big eyes, an open mouthed smile smacked on his face. A look of utter glee painted itself across his face as he wanted up at my face and announced his sweet, high little voice-
"Ki!"
I blinked at him. "Key?"
The little boy repeated his announcement, point a finger up at me happily.
"I think he's trying to say Ruki!" laughed Reita fondly, leaning back in his seat sleepily.
He massive, blessed smile spread across my face.
"Ru-ki" I said to him, stretching out the sounds to try and help him say my name properly
"ooo" the boy cooed, missing the 'Luh' sound of the beginning "Ki" he finished
"Looo-Kiiii" I said, forcing myself not to roll my Rs. I didn't know much about children back then, but I pretty sure that rolling Rs was a little too much for a kind that most probably hadn't hit the age of 2 yet.
"Looo…Ki" the baby sounded out the sounds, listening to himself as if he was deciding if he liked out it sounded. "Loo-ki. RukI! Ruki, Ruki, Ruki!" he said triumphantly, jiggling about happily on my lap.
I giggled at the fidgeting child, smiling down at him as he clapped his hands in approval of his latest achievement.
"Maybe we should knock round at the houses." Reita suggested
"huh?" I mumbled, still watching the dancing baby on my lap
"Know round the nearest houses and ask if they know the kid." He explained with a yawn.
My eyes darted at the clock.
"It's almost 11 o'clock at night" I pointed out.
"So?"
By the time we get to the first house, it'll be past 11. We'll be disturbing sleeping people!"
"I doubt the kids parents will be sleeping-"
"But the people who aren't his parents will be pissed! " I argued, my eyes no longer on the baby boy "Plus, I think we'll give them a heart attack in these get ups-"
"What do you suggest then?!" Reita roared at me angrily.
I scowled at him, too used to his out bursts to be phased by them. But there was a little someone who wasn't used to them at all- and he was defiantly bothered by it.
The baby started howling, big tears streaming down his face as he flung his arms round and head butted me in the chest, trying to escape.
I wrapped my arms round him, lifting him up close to me, holding him tightly and resting his head on my shoulder. I shushed him, rubbing his back comfortingly.
"Hey hey" I whispered to him "it's okay. Reita isn't angry with you-"
"Ruki-" Reita interrupted in a strict voice. As I turned to him, I saw his face was the opposite, a desperate look on it "What should we do?"
I bit my inner lip and looked down at the boy.
"Take him home?"
What do you think? Should I carry it on?