2015.08.03: Originally posted on FFN in August of 2007, I then backed the fic up on a now-defunct site called " " and eventually deleted the FFN original. When you read it, you'll know why I deleted it (hint: it's awful!). Now I've managed to salvage it with the Wayback Machine. I was 15 at the time of writing this. My Tsubasa fandom friend at the time was "Tsubasa-fan" who at one point wrote a sequel to one of my other stories (which was also deleted), but you can still read that sequel here at FFN under their name, the story ID is 3775285 and the title is "Fast Forward".
Disclaimer: I don't own Tsubasa R.C.
Fai drinks because it's the only change in an unchanging world. When he casts spells to "aid his people", when he talks to the soft-speaking king that is Ashura, when he practices smiling in the mirror, he knows it would all be more tolerable if he could at least get a bottle of that sweet liquor in his hands. So he puts his smiles to good use and charms the villagers until they give him what he wants automatically. As automatically as the snow falls and as the people die.
His king, his master, is surprised. Fai, he says, nearly whispering. You drink too much, more than you eat, and another present came for you. You'll swallow until your tongue gets loose. Maybe one day you'll drink so much you forget your spells, until everything you've worked for disappears. You'll drink to your death.
He'd like that, he really would. The mage-in-training would drink until nothing made sense, and then drink until it did again. Then he'd wander out into the cold snow that this world consisted of, forgetting all his spells in his stupor and freezing until he couldn't move. Getting lost in that white, never-ending expanse of harsh wind and false comrades.
Because he knew things that those happy villagers did not. Their king was cruel, their world was cruel, and life was cruel. Even though his home was the beautiful kingdom of a powerful country, he had less freedom than that of a hound. Of course he could travel into the city, tasting the food and mingling with the inhabitants. People gave him what he wanted and received magic and hesitant smiles in return. He even had the power to change the very weather if he chose, to fight and kill and destroy. But he was as closely guarded as the feathers that Ashura had once told him of.
No matter where he went, how far he traveled or how long, Ashura knew. Knew where he was and swiftly dragged him back to this icy palace that had so long been a prison. You aren't trying to escape from here, are you? He would say with that voice that spoke of delusion and too-sweet truths. His only joy was alcohol, with the ability to make him forget his leash and his duties. To be as happy as the people whom he served.
And now there was a change, something that no amount of drink could make him forget. The feathers, the journey, he had been informed of what he had to do and where he had to go by a mysterious voice that he no longer trusted.
Perhaps, he thought grimly as he sealed his ruler in watery depths and forbade a lifeless girl to follow, the quiet ruler of space and time would give him a new present.
A/N 2015.08.03: Apparently I had two more chapters, one dealing with Kurogane and one with Yuuko, but the Wayback Machine didn't archive them so I can't restore them. Sorry!