Title: Mako Eyes
Author: Page of Cups
Pairing: Cloud Strife/Riku
Fandom: Kingdom Hearts
Rating: PG
Theme: #15 Perfect Blue

Disclaimer: Kingdom Heart totally doesn't belong to poor little ole me. It belongs to a bunch of rich people at Disney and Square Enix. Being as poor as I am, I am not affiliated with the rich people at either of these companies. I'm not even worthy to clean their toilets. So there.

Riku never felt as low in his life as he had that night in early spring when he faced Roxas and failed. He had never felt so low or so keenly aware of what a disappointment he'd been until he faced Roxas the second time and succeeded. While it should have been cause for celebration—Sora could finally be restored in body and memory—it was only another monumental disappointment. A let down to himself, but more importantly, a flash of pain across Cloud Strife's mako-blue eyes.

Though Riku could never hope to be so eloquent as to put this notion into words, he was devastated. Conflicted. He couldn't bear Cloud to think that he might be choosing Sora over their relationship, but he couldn't let Sora down when it was partly his fault things were so messed up in the first place. He was caught between friend and lover, doomed to hurt one party if not both. By extension, doomed to hurt himself, not that it was important. Riku's pain was inconsequential. After all, it stemmed from his own mistakes that not only hurt him, but those he held in the highest esteem.

Cloud was one of those people. The boyfriend. The other half. The better half. The lover who whispered soft words that everything would be okay, and no matter how many times Riku tried to refuse and believe him, one look into those perfect blue eyes silenced his protests.

Riku didn't really have a favorite thing about Cloud, per se. He loved the man fully and completely. Even his annoying tendency to withdraw from others as if he were protecting them that way was endearing. Riku wouldn't change a thing, but on a personal level, it had always been his voice. It was soothing, calming, and there was something still innocent there that defied the more morose things that came from Cloud's mouth. At least it had been his voice. Then Riku had a mission to obtain Roxas, failed once, succeeded the second time, and his appearance changed into Ansem's.

It wasn't really Ansem's though, was it? It was the real Ansem's lab assistant, Xehanort. And not even just Xehanort, but his Heartless. Riku didn't know all this at the time, but when he learned so from King Mickey, it just made his feelings about his present appearance worse. He wasn't just duped by a powerful psycho desperate to open the door to the darkness. No, Riku was weaker than that. Riku was fit for the psycho's Heartless.

It was just the eyes at first—his eyes that couldn't lie because they were a piercing dark orange when they should have been a bright aqua blue—but then he had to face Roxas again. There wasn't another way; he needed the power of darkness. So there he was, Xehanort's Heartless, full-bodied, trapped inside the new body that was his prison.

He tried for weeks to avoid Cloud's calls. When he did answer (the voice mail messages were becoming desperate), he lied about his voice, saying that he just had a cold. It was Naminé who sold him out, just days before Sora awoke. She overheard a short conversation between Cloud and he a few days prior, and concerned, urged him to tell Cloud the truth. When he refused, she snuck into his room, stole his phone, and told Cloud what really happened. The same day as Roxas's missed trip to the beach, Cloud arrived in Twilight Town to see for himself.

There was a fight. A lot of harsh words were said. Riku refused to listen to anything positive Cloud had to say, because they couldn't stay together like this; it was unfair to them both. Riku wouldn't allow Cloud to hang around while he looked like this, and he didn't want to hear that Cloud understood. The memories of that confrontation were disjointed in his head—mostly images and flashes of conversation. Until they got to the mako, anyway, because once they got to the mako, it all became very vivid. It could have just happened yesterday.

Riku knew about Sephiroth, Midgar, and SOLDIER since they started dating, but this was the first time he heard of the Lifestream or mako or materia. It was the first time Cloud talked about the Jenova project and the Sephiroth gene. He told Riku that the mako eyes were the "mark of a SOLDIER," and suddenly, his dark orange eyes seemed . . .

Well, honestly, he had never loved Cloud more than he did at that moment. Though Riku still loved his voice, Cloud's eyes became his favorite thing. His perfect, mako-blue eyes. That thing about Cloud that he would always carry with him, displaying to the worlds what had happened to him.

Cloud told him that at the very least Riku's changed appearance was for a greater good and displayed an attempt to grow closer to the light. His mako eyes were a sign of Shinra's hunger for power, Cloud's greed to prove himself worthwhile, and a reminder of his spiral into darkness. Riku just shook his head, because those eyes gave him the strength he needed now. When he told Cloud this, Cloud said nothing, but the hint of a smile on his lips didn't go unnoticed.

In the end, they were what got him through everything. They were what didn't allow Riku to keep pushing Cloud away. Riku thought they might have even been why they were still together now that it was all over, despite all the hardships they had to endure.

Riku always felt Cloud and he had a lot in common from the day they met. The mako-blue eyes were like their relationship. A sign of darkness that brought joy and light into his world. The ultimate irony that made Riku and Cloud the couple that they were. Light birthed from darkness, and hope in despair. They gave Riku faith when he could find none, because if something so beautiful could come from something so ugly, then he could, at least, overcome the darkness. The darkness, after all, can only swallow the light if you let it.

Riku's head jerked up from his textbook as a string of curse words broke his reverie. His eyes fell on Cloud in the kitchen, shaking his hand as he fumbled with the faucet knob.

"Burn yourself?" said Riku. Cloud glared. Riku softly laughed for a few seconds, and his expressions softened. "I love you."

"Don't laugh at me."

"I'm not. I just really love you."

Cloud frowned. One of his blond eyebrows quirked. Distrust laced his perfect eyes.

"You're so weird. Don't you have homework?"

Riku nodded.

"Yeah, I do. I was just thinking . . . about stuff. I wanted to tell you that I love you."

"Uh . . . okay. I love you, too?"

"The burn ointment's in the second drawer to the right."

Cloud nodded.

"I know."

Riku continued to smile at him. Cloud shifted.

"You should get that, you know?"

Cloud nodded.

"Uh huh. You going to be okay?"

Riku's grin brightened.

"Yeah. I am."

So here y'all go. Hope you liked it.

So, yeah. This story wasn't really intended to be as long as it turned out. But I'm very happy with the ending, because if it weren't for that ending, this would have taken me much less time to write. Had a hard time putting the words to what Riku wanted to express here, but I think I managed all right.

If you haven't seen, I've started posting my new CloudxRiku serial, Perspective, so go check it out if you haven't already. Should be updated every Sunday or so.

Cloud has been giving me issues with 100 Steps, but I think we're about to resolve our differences. I am very happy about this.

I've also been working on my website, but I need a break from it, so I should be posting some more in the next couple days. I have three hours to dwell on my stories today while I'm guarding and I'm feeling very creative, so I should have a burst of posts coming soon.

Looking forward to hearing from everyone again. Love to you all.