A/N - So soon after he was just revealed? Yeah. The teaser got me really interested in it, and, I just had this concept for a story for him. As "That One Guy Who Writes Good Lulu Fiction's" I was also able to write her in as well, and that makes me happy, since I felt like writing her for some time now. Now, it is not a Tahm Kench story with me just writing Lulu in because I felt like it, but rather a Tahm Kench AND Lulu story. I'd like to thank some of my fans who showed support for this concept, especially Will Lightfoot. Hopefully I can meet your expectations, but more than that, thank you for the confidence boost and the encouragement. SHout out to you. As always, I appreciate reviews, and if you liked the story, be sure to favorite it. Thank you everyone, enjoy!

Insatiable Appetite

She ran, ran from the two pursuing her. Ducking into the brush as she made her way through the jungle to deny the enemy vision of her, the Fae Sorceress was running on fumes, her chest heaving from fleeing and her mana pool dry from continuous casts of Whimsy on herself and Glitterlances backwards to slow her pursuers. But they were relentless, chasing her through the jungle. She was alone, the mid laner busy fighting his own battle and the jungler nowhere to be seen. She and her lane partner, Jinx, had been ganked by the enemy jungler, Rek'Sai. Jinx had been locked up Leona, but even though they were able to bring the Solari down, she was still being chased by Kalista and Rek'Sai.

There were tears in her eyes, she was scared. They were relentless in their pursuit, despite being so far deep in her team's jungle. They could be surrounded at any moment. Or, at least, they could have been, should her team not have been so busy. She was left all on her own. Running through brush once more, she tripped, her foot getting tangled in the mess of tall grass. She didn't bother turning around to see her killers. She clenched her eyes shut, tears staining her cheeks as she covered her ears, hoping it would be over quickly. But what she heard made her eyes open wide in terror.

A loud rumbling from below. Rek'Sai and Kalista caught up to her, but…what was this rumbling? Turning, she could see it was not the Xer'Sai, but then, what could it be? The two stopped in their tracks, noticing the rumbling as well. Lulu wore a worried and confused expression. What was happening? Chills went down her spine when she heard it.

Laughter.

Deep and hearty, it seemed to shake the earth with its monstrous tone.

"Now, now, what do we have 'ere?" A tongue lashed out from behind Lulu, striking Kalista. And like that, it was on her. A creature the likes Lulu had never seen, big and round, she watched with horrified eyes as it swallowed the Spear of Vengeance whole. The Xer'Sai fled with swiftness. "Oh, where you goin'! It is rude to leave one so very unsatisfied!" The beast turned his attention to the stunned yordle behind him, his lips curled into a devilish smile, serving only to send another shiver down her spine.

"Oh, sweet child," he purred, "no need to be afraid." He bowed before her, taking off the top hat he wore and holding it against his chest, the bow so deep that it was impressive for his grand size. "I meant not to cause you fear, child. The name's Tahm Kench, and I am pleased to make your acquaintance." And still, he wore that thin lipped grin, and yet, Lulu seemed…calmed. Calmed by his voice, his melodic drawl. He held out his hand to her, to which she took happily. "Pardon me, little miss," again he purred, "but I be new to this here establishment, this, 'League of Legends', I meant no harm. Well, not to you, at least," he pat his belly, laughing once more, his body jiggling with his booming laugh. "This here be my first match, and I meant only to help you, is all. Sweet child, you are too good for them."

"Uh…um…" finally she spoke, having caught her breath, but her throat now dry, her voice coming out in a squeaking rasp. "What do you mean…uh…too good for them?"

"Why, I only mean to say you are too delectable for those beings of lesser taste."

"Uhm…delectable?"

"Yes, my dear, delectable. Of extreme beauty or attractiveness. Oh! Please, excuse my diction, I meant to spark no worry, I shall not be doing the same to you with which I did that vile woman," he faced away and spit in disgust. "Truly vile! The taste disgusting. Although, I am sure you would taste much better, dearie, but, you've no need to fear."

She looked down to her feet. His ramblings seemed a bit unsettling, and yet, she could not help the warmth in her cheeks at being called 'delectable' by him. She hoped he did mean it in the way he said he did and not in the other use of the word. "Th-thank you!" she said, turning and running back to base. She could hear the River King laugh heartedly behind her.

The enemy team decided to surrender early, giving Lulu little time to interact with her savior much afterwards. Him being a new champion, he was sure to be summoned many more times today, but she…she was summoned for the one game only. She didn't mind, though. Despite the game being so short, she still found herself exhausted. Retiring to her room, she decided to get some shut eye. Maybe later, she could find out more about the River King.

And that is what she did. After her little nap, she scurried around asking all the champions what they knew about Tahm Kench.

"What I know is that he has a monstrous appetite."

"He is a monster."

"He's a siren."

"Stay away."

"Beast."

She couldn't help but furrow her brow. How could they! He was new to the League and was quite nice, and they only could say such mean things about him! "Hmph!" She crossed her arms, thinking of what to do…she wanted to see him again, to properly thank him. When he saved her, she ran away stuttering, and that wasn't very polite of her.

"…he has a monstrous appetite." Of course! She could recall him eating, or rather, swallowing Kalista, remembered how he said he wasn't 'satisfied.' Her eyes lit up. Of course! Maybe that's how she could thank him! She took off running.

The River King waddled tiredly through the summoning chambers, the area from which they would be transported to Summoner's Rift for matches. Taking a handkerchief from his coat pocket, he dabbed his forehead. They told him that, as a new champion, he would be very busy, but even still, this was ridiculous! Already another match was scheduled not five minutes away. At the very least, he could relax for now, taking a seat in the corner of the room. He bounced upon the cushioned seat, surprised it supported his weight. He was happy with that, at the very least. It was often hard to find a suitable chair that was not only comfortable but suitable for a man of his size.

As champions and summoners left the summoning chambers, they all eyed the newest addition to the league with narrowed eyes. He didn't mind, however, he was far used to such reactions. He closed his eyes, taking what little time he had to relax.

Or, at least, he would have. But…

"Uh-um! Mr. Catfish?" He opened one eye, looking down at the purple haired yordle from earlier. "Uh, I'm sorry to disturb you, but-"

"Now, now, hun, no need to apologize." He leaned forward in his seat, a smile present on his lips. Even seated, he towered over her, his round shape serving to add more to this effect. "What is it you need, sweet child?"

"Oh…um! Uh!" If he wasn't already smiling, Tahm would've smiled widely at her timid nature. It was rather cute. "Here!" She looked aside, her eyes clenched with embarrassment as she held out a wicker basket. He looked at it questioningly, his smile fading slightly. "Um, I thought you'd be hungry, you know, from playing all day…"

He took the basket in his hands, being careful not to crush it what with his size and strength. He moved aside the blanket that covered its contents, his eyes falling on cupcakes. He would be lying if he said it didn't excite him, even slightly. "Uh, I always heard that working hard grows a strong appetite, so, I thought…you know…"

His smile was genuine as he took one between two large fingers. He licked his lips, throwing it inside his mouth. He took his time in chewing it, and all at once, the smile he wore melted away. "Child," he said, "did you make this?"

"Oh, no, I didn't, sorry…I got them from Sherriff Caitlyn…she usually leaves them lying around, so…I thought I'd pick some up for you…"

Caitlyn. Now, that was a name he wasn't all too familiar with, but, he knew of traps, metal teeth with a sweet at its center that would snap shut should anyone try to grab it. There was a Caitlyn in one of his recent matches, and oh how her waste of food irked him. Very much he would have wanted to grab one of her treats and eat it, but, despite the saying 'you are what you eat' he was no fool.

His gaze fell from her emerald eyes, which were wide in worry, to her small hands, her slim fingers wrapped in bandages. "Now," he began, "these here treats are made to a T, this Sherriff you speak of must have followed the directions very closely. But, because of this…it lacks that soul, that passion, and in turn, it lacks taste. They are not good…however…" he reached forward, grabbing a surprised Lulu's hands and inspecting her fingers closely. "The trouble you went through for me makes these all the sweeter, my dear, and for that, I am greatly flattered." He kissed her fingers gently before turning his attention back to the basket he had in his lap.

"Y-you don't have to finish them if you don't like them," a blushing Lulu said.

"Nonsense!" he said, "It would be rude of me to turn such a sweet child's gift away!" He opened his mouth wide, tossing in the remainder of his gift, basket and all, and swallowed wholly. "Thank ya' very much, now, darlin'."

She smiled widely at him, not as wide as his own smile, but one so sincere that it warmed the River King's heart. Her eyes were closed and her white teeth flashed. He fought to get out of his seat, but once out, he pat her head lightly. "Next time, little one, be sure to make them yourself. Passion is an ingredient that makes any dish taste delicious."

"Yes!" she responded before turning and running excitedly, that smile still present on her features. Tahm Kench chuckled to himself, but only momentarily. He grabbed his belly, pain shooting up his stomach suddenly as his leaned on the seat for support. His stomach growled angrily. Hungry…hungry…so…very…hungry…

He shook his head. He had another match to attend to.

And she, well, she was off to make him some cupcakes of her own.

When next they met, it was once again in the summoning chambers. Again, she carried a basket, still wearing that smile he had last seen her with. "Mr. Catfish!"

"Child! Back again so soon?"

She nodded her head. "Well, I am being summoned for the next match, but, I also wanted to give you these!" She held out the basket. And once again, the River King took it.

"You shouldn't have, darlin'." Removing the blanket that covered her sweets, he blinked surprised. More cupcakes, but what was interesting about these were their faces. Little cartoony expressions screaming out in terror. He looked up from the basket to the little yordle before him, she still smiling. He breathed heavily, taking one between his fingers as he did before. Popping it in his mouth, his eyes opened wide. "Now, this! What is this, I do ask!"

"Hee hee, well, they're cupcakes, silly! I can't make them so good, so, I usually get some animals to help me! Everyone says they are bad, since, well…I turn the animals into the cupcakes…but you said you wanted to try my own!"

"MMM!" he hummed, "yes, I can taste it, taste the soul of this food, how small a package and yet how mighty a taste! Sweet and yet so very filling!" Rather than dump the basket in his mouth as he did previously, he took his time in eating each one, chewing each bite rather than swallowing whole. She sat cross-legged at his feet, grinning as she watched him enjoy her treats. And when he was done, he belched. "Why, I don't think I've ever done tasted a cupcake so half as good before in all my life! And that, I swear on my mama's grave!"

"You have a mama?"

"Of course, child! Everyone has a mama! HAHA!" He got up from his seat. "Now then, I do feel like I could fight another match! Will you be joining me, m'lady?" He held out his hand to her. She smiled, taking it.

"Yes!"

They were on the same team, he in the top, and this time, she in the middle. As they departed for their lanes, she waved to him giddily, and he could not help but wave back. Bless that child's soul, he thought to himself. He would be sure to keep an eye on her. And so, he did.

He watched her, all the way from top. She was against some wind samurai. He watched her do what she could, but still, she struggled. She was able to stay safe enough, however. He turned his full attention on his own lane opponent, having faith in the yordle mid. He was against a brute of a man, wielding some long and heavy axe. It mattered very little to the River King, however, he having the stomach take what the Noxian general was dishing out to him. And what he did take, he returned doubly, pushing him out of lane in no time at all while remaining healthy due to his Thick Skin.

He turned mid, once again, his eyes opening wide as he saw the little Yordle be thrown into the air upon a tornado, the samurai slashing at her. He bared his teeth, growling angrily. He would call that bastard. He ran to mid, diving into the water of the river, of his river, and appeared suddenly behind the samurai, his sword raised to deliver the final blow to the yordle that lay at his feet.

"You dare strike a child, boy!" He lashed out, using his tongue to disarm the samurai, throwing his sword aside as he landed another attack, pushing him away from the fallen Lulu. "Believe me, boy, you shall pay for this, and I collect my debts!" Tahm Kench charged the samurai, picking him up in his jaw, chewing him, crushing him, before spitting his lifeless body out.

Quickly, he turned to his friend. He dropped to his knees beside her. Her body was cut, a great slash upon her forehead spilling crimson upon her face. Carefully, he cupped her cheek.

"Worry not, sweet child…" he pressed his lips to her forehead, placing her softly on the earth, "I am sanctuary for those in my favor…" He opened his mouth, wider, wider, and wider still, and with it…he took Lulu wholly inside him.

When her eyes next opened, she was at the summoning platform.

"Uh…what happened…" she said, rubbing her head.

"Now, don'tchu be trying to move too soon, darlin'." She looked up to see a great round figure standing above her, his drawl comforting and his thin lipped smile warming. "I consider you a friend, the first to see me not as a monster but as something else entirely, and for that, I may never be able to repay your kindness, but, if I may be so rude as to ask…Sometime, should you be inclined, little miss, mayhaps you be willing to make me more of your…delectable treats?"

She looked to him, blinking once, then twice. She giggled at him, and now, it was his turn to feel some heat in the cheeks. She wiped a tear from the corner of her eye. "It's a promise, friend!" She held out her pinky to him.

He chuckled, giving her his own large digit. Much too big for her to wrap her finger around, but she could only laugh more at her new friend. And he joined in, chuckling as well.