Sherlock doesn't mean to be gruff and rude. He's just nervous – scared, really – of having to talk to people and go outside his comfort zone, a lifetime of failed attempts at socialization and of bullying because he's weird fueling his need to be alone, to be safe. He does what he can to keep from breaking down completely from fear, but that means he acts fare more rude than he needs to, and indeed, far more rude than he thinks he does. It's a tactic of self-preservation, one that seems to work from the inside. But it's not one that he can see from the outside, see how it's affecting others.
So when John comes along, the first one who has ever really tried to get to know him and who cares about him, he takes what the older man says to heart, slowly figuring out that the way he has been behaving is not quite the best way. That he is hurting others in his attempt to keep himself from that selfsame pain. That his thoughtless words are barbs, are thorns that dig their way into others' feelings. He has never had anyone tell him this before, at least not in a way he can understand. But it is a habit – a wall – built up so thick over the years that it is daunting, seemingly impossible to break.
He doesn't see any difference as the days go on, any "progress," at all, but the little things John does say otherwise. A small smile of approval here, a little, "Good job," there. Sherlock notices, and he keeps trying every day to improve. He slips every now and again, shutting even John out completely, but he comes back every time, trying even harder, if only so that he won't lose one of the very few friends he has.
A/N- I don't think that John's the only person Sherlock has. I know he's got Lestrade, Molly, Mycroft, his parents, and Mrs. Hudson. But from his point of view, I feel like he would not recognize this. He probably feels that these people all "care about him" only because they have to. He probably thinks that Molly and Lestrade are only nice to him because they have to work with him. Mycroft and his parents because they're blood, and it's expected. Mrs. Hudson because he's renting from her. He doesn't think that anyone actually cares about him. Not until John comes along, with no reason to stay in the same flat with him other than the fact that he does care. He could leave at any time, and Sherlock knows this. He could have decided from the beginning that life with Sherlock was too hectic, too weird, and not moved in at all. So the fact that he did was proof that he did care about him, so of course Sherlock's going to put effort into keeping the one friend he's got.
What are your thoughts? Review, please!
~Mirnava