A/N: This story is inspired by Evanescence's "My Immortal". This was originally written as a Harry Potter story, but after several kind emails and reviews that this could be a stand alone story, I decided to change it up and see if it would work in a different realm. I hope I did 'Twilight' justice. In the HP world this story, entitled 'My Immortal', didn't really have a summary, and pairings there are open to interpretation. I asked my readers in that world to message me with who they envisioned my couple to be, and in return I would message them back telling them who MY unmentioned characters are, just to see if that is what they had envisioned as well. Here I have decided to define my couple as Jacob and Renesmee, and I hope that it works, and that you, my amazing readers, enjoy. PLEASE REVIEW :)
Summary: Oneshot. Time never seems to pass here, in our world, for us. When your days upon this earth are limitless, you don't ever bother to count the hours...until you are alone. Now, as you enter the twilight of your life, I find myself counting the moments spent without you, and I fear I'll go insane...
A/N: A version of this story has been entered into a romance contest here www {dot} inkitt {dot} com [backslash] entwined under the title 'My Immortal'. PLEASE read, review, and don't forget to vote!
twi·light: (noun) a period or state of obscurity, ambiguity, or gradual decline. "He was in the twilight of his career." Synonyms: decline, waning, ebb.
"I'm so tired of being here."
I've sat in this exact chair for two hundred and thirty seven days. I'm tired. The people don't change. The scenery doesn't change. You haven't changed. I don't want to be here, but I refuse to leave you behind.
"Suppressed by all my childish fears."
I'm afraid that if I leave for even a moment, you'll wake and think that I've abandoned you. I still remember all those nights we spent lost in conversation, and you would tell me that everyone you had ever loved had left you in one way or another. Death. Jealously. Hatred. You have sacrificed so much for me, and regardless of the bond that we share, I will keep my promise to you. It is the least that I can do for the man who gave up everything he had, everything he was, just to be with me. I promised you I would never leave, and I haven't. I'm still right here...
"And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave, 'Cause your presence still lingers here, And it won't leave me alone."
Carlisle says that you won't ever wake, that your mind is forever trapped on the edge of consciousness. Is that true? People have been stuck in comas for years and then one day a miracle happens, and they wake up like they were only ever sleeping...
~oooOooo~
I feel you here. I see the breath enter and leave your chest. I hear the steady beating of your heart. Please come back to me. Que Quowle.
"These wounds won't seem to heal. This pain is just too real. There's just too much that time cannot erase."
I will not forget you, My Love. Not ever. Our son will make sure of that. He is here now, and I only wish that you were here to see him. He is so beautiful...just like you. He is a true miracle, and I wish desperately that you would be here to watch him grow, but I am starting to realize that will only ever be a dream...
My heart cannot heal, Jacob. You must move on. You seem to have entered the twilight of your life, and by now you must know that your son and I are all that is left for you here. All of your friends have passed on to the Spirit World. Mother is devastated by your condition, and father hurts for her. Carlisle has devoted the passing time to finding a way to bring you back to us, but...they are detached from mortal life in a way I can not yet imagine. They understand that you came into their life just as you will pass from it; a season in time. You were never meant to stay as you were forever. Only your ability to become the wolf within keeps you free from the prison of time. You have not shifted in three hundred and eighty three days. You are aging...
"When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears. When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears. And I held your hand through all of these years, But you still have all of me."
Why can't you see that I'm waiting for you? Why won't you come back to me? To us? I can't do this. I cannot leave you here when half of my heart is with you. How will I survive? You were not one to show such weakness as tears, and you very rarely let your nightmares break through the surface, but when you did I was there for you. Why will you not be here for me? I need you. Your son needs you. Who will hold me when I cry for you? Who will calm me when you come to haunt me in my dreams?
"You used to captivate me by your resonating light, Now I'm bound by the life you left behind."
You were always so wise. An old soul in a young and capable body. I could sit and listen to you discuss your theories for hours. We were going to change the world, you and I. Now it is just he and I, and I will be forever bound to his service. To make sure that he grows into exactly the kind of man he is meant to be. He is so much like you, our son. So serious, and thoughtful. I am eternally grateful for this gift you have left me. I will love him like no other. I will die for him.
"Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams."
The memories of the time we spent together haunt me; oppress me. I don't think I'll ever be able to let you go, not when you hover so close, yet at a distance. Your body is here; firm and warm, but your mind is not. It has not entertained a conversation in four hundred and eighty nine days. I won't fault you if you leave me here alone. Your fears and mine were never the same. But you were right, everyone leaves us in the end. I am the only one here for you now. Everyone else has moved on to some place new.
"Your voice—it chased away all the sanity in me."
I hear you speaking to me I swear. I feel my grasp on reality slowly slipping away, and I am at a loss as to what I should do. Alice says that I am not healthy for our son, and maybe she is right. She is my only true companion these days. Maybe I am crazy...or maybe your legacy haunts me. If a life of sanity is one without you in it, well...
If only you would speak to me for real. Just one word. One tiny word. At this point I would even take 'goodbye'.
"I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone, But though you're still with me, I've been alone all along."
It has been five years, Husband, and you have not come back to me. I have finally accepted the fact that you never will. You may be here in body, and your soul may be trapped somewhere in the world of spirits, but your mind is forever lost to me, and I fear that now I must move on. You will always have a piece of my heart, but Zayne needs a father, and I'm afraid I've found another. He is good to me; to us. He knows our secrets...all of our secrets, and he has sworn to me that he will teach our son the way of the Tribe. He has promised me that he will help Zayne remember the man who helped bring him into this world, and to love him as his own. I can ask for no better. I must do this! But I will still be here for you, for I have never really left. Until you draw your last breath. Kw'opḳalawóli.
fin
Que Quowle: (k-we k-WOW-le) Quileute (supposedly) for "Stay with me forever".
Kw'opḳalawóli: Quileute for "I love you." (Spelling variations include kwopkalawo'li, kw'opkalawoli, k'upkalawli, and kwop kilawtley. The different spellings are due to the fact that Quileute isn't traditionally a written language, not due to any ambiguity in meaning. kw'opa is the Quileute root for "love," -kalaw is an object suffix meaning "you," and -li is a subject suffix meaning "I.")