Halloween Party for a Madman

'Twas a dark and rainy Halloween night. Luigi was in his bathroom putting on the finishing touches of his makeup for the Halloween party - he was dressing as a vampire - when he heard a knock on the door.

"I'm coming!" He called. He sighed and put the makeup sponge down, then walked out of the bathroom to answer the door. As he walked through the hallway, the knock came again, louder this time. More insistent.

"Don't you know it's a little early to-" Luigi said as he opened the door. He stopped short at the sight before him.

In front of him stood a figure - a tall one, despite their hunched shoulders, and a lean one. Lean but still intimidating. The figure's hair hung down to its shoulders, and looked stringy and slightly tangled, like it hadn't seen a comb in a while.

Then, lightning flashed, and the figure's face came into view. Luigi immediately froze on the spot. The figure's face was white, with black eyes and a red mouth. The mouth seemed to stretch too far, and Luigi realized with a jolt that the mouth was partially painted onto lumpy cheeks. Lumpy, scarred cheeks. The figure's greasy hair was green, and the figure was wearing a purple trench coat and purple pinstriped pants. The pieces of the puzzle clicked together in Luigi's mind. The figure on his doorstep was the Joker.

As if he had read Luigi's mind, the Joker raised his arm, stretching it towards Luigi. With another flash of lightning, Luigi saw that the hand was holding a knife.

The Joker grinned. "Why so serious?" He asked sinisterly. Luigi screamed, jumped about a foot in the air, and fled into his house, slamming the door on the way. He could hear maniacal laughter behind the door, which slowly faded, as if the Joker was walking away.

"What's up, bro?" Mario asked as he came down the stairs.

Luigi glanced back at the door. It looked normal, as if the Joker hadn't just been standing behind it. "... Nothing," Luigi said hesitantly. "I just thought I saw something outside, but there was nothing there. I'm gonna finish getting ready." Luigi went back to the bathroom, still shaking. He hoped he wouldn't see any more of the Joker, but knowing Luigi's luck, it wouldn't be too long before they met again.

At Peach's Castle, 10:00 p.m.

The party was in full swing. Everyone was having a great time, laughing and chatting over punch, complimenting each other on their costumes.

Then, the lights went out.

Everything was immediately plunged into chaos. Someone screamed, and then more people started screaming, and everyone was running around, people were getting knocked over-

Then, a single spotlight came on. The screaming stopped as suddenly as it had begun, and everyone looked into the light. There was no one there.

"Here I am," cackled a voice that was unfortunately familiar to Luigi. Everyone turned towards the source of it, which was behind them, on a balcony, as another spotlight came on, revealing the speaker. The empty light faded away unnoticed.

Luigi cringed when he caught sight of the Joker's coat. He laughed again.

"Hello there. Don't mind me, I'm just tonight's... entertainment." He dragged someone into the spotlight with him. To Luigi's horror, he saw that this new person was Princess Peach. The Joker pulled her close and held a knife to her throat. Everyone in the crowd gasped, and a few people fainted. Luigi found his brother, made eye contact with him, and nodded. The two jumped to the forefront of the crowd, eliciting a head shake and a chuckle from the Joker.

"I, uh, wouldn't be doing that if I were you. See, the floor in front of you is covered in bombs, and if you try to move any farther forward than there before I say so, this whole castle might just, uh blow up." The joker waggled his finger at him. "Your hero efforts are useless. The only way to save the princess here," he jerked her forward roughly and she glared at him, "is to play my game by, uh, by my rules."

"What is this game, then?!" Mario yelled angrily at him. "Come on, spit it out!"

The Joker laughed. "Some fight in you people... I like that. Here's the rules. I'll be hiding somewhere in the castle. You all have to find me. The first one to find me just might be lucky enough to live. In one minute, the bombs on this floor will deactivate. You'll have until midnight to find me and take the switch from me. If you don't find me by midnight..." He laughed menacingly. "You'll find out." With that, he shoved Peach forward and disappeared.

Everyone stayed where they were for one second. The total pandemonium ensued. People started running all over the place. One of them was nearing the door when the Joker's voice came out of seemingly nowhere.

"Ah, ah, ah, naughty. Anyone who tries to leave the castle gets everyone blown up with them... Do you really want to risk it?" He laughed, then his voice faded.

For the next minute everyone just stood where they were. Luigi and Mario stuck to each other's sides, planning how they would find the Joker and defeat him before midnight. After all, almost no one knew the castle better than they did. They were confident that they could find and overpower the Joker.

A buzzer sounded and everyone ran through the castle halls. Mario and Luigi decided to take the east wing first, then check the west wing, then the bedroom area.

Their search of the east wing proved fruitless. While they were in the west wing, however, they heard the Joker's laugh. They ran after it, and spotted the Joker a few seconds later. He had grabbed a small Toad girl and was talking to her in a small room. By the look on her face and the shaking in her tiny frame, Mario and Luigi could see that she was terrified.

"Why are y-you doing this?" They heard the girl ask.

"I'm having a little fun on Halloween. Is that really so bad?"

"I-it's really scary... It's no fun at all," she whispered.

"Should I tell her?... Nah, probably not," Mario and Luigi heard the Joker murmur thoughtfully."It's supposed to be a surprise, after all..."

"What's a surprise?" The girl asked, unable to stop herself.

"Oh, no!" The Joker replied, moaning. "I can't tell you now! But I'll tell ya what. You go ahead and run off, find your parents or whatever. I don't like hurting little kids. Not very nice, it's not." The little girl ran away through a door opposite the Mario brothers without a second thought.

Mario and Luigi stepped through the door they had been listening at a few seconds later, only to find the Joker gone. In his place was a note, painted on the floor in red:

GOOD TRY

BUT YOU HAVE TO WORK HARDER THAN THAT TO GET ME

HA HA HA

Mario growled in frustration. "Dang! Stupid Joker... We were so close!"

"We'll get him next time, bro," Luigi soothed, though he was bitter himself.

The two headed to the bedroom area, and once again, they heard the Joker laughing. The followed the noise quickly but carefully. As they grew closer to the source, they heard his voice call.

"Hurry up... It's almost midnight!" He cackled. Mario and Luigi opened the door to Peach's bedroom, and the Joker was there, standing in the middle of the room.

He clapped slowly, sarcastically. "Well done. You found me... with ten minutes left on the clock."

"Hand over the switch, Joker!" Luigi demanded more loudly than he felt was necessary.

"Didn't I say that you had to take it from me?" He giggled. "Must have slipped my mind." The Joker pulled a knife. "If you want it, ya gotta take it!"

Mario rushed at the man, but he dodged easily, laughing. Mario swung his fists as he passed, but missed again. While the Joker was being distracted by Mario, Luigi leapt at the tall man, landing on his back and wrenching his head back.

The Joker didn't submit that easily, though. He swung his arm at Luigi, who was forced to let go of the Joker's neck to avoid his knife. Mario came up and grabbed the man's coat lapel, trying to force him to the ground. Luigi, upon regaining his feet, dropped and kicked at the Joker's legs. The man went down, and Mario immediately pinned his long arms.

"Okay, okay! It's in the front pocket!" Luigi reached into the pocket in question and pressed the single red button on the remote he found.

"Now get back down to the party room. Everyone should be there soon... I've got something to say before I, uh, disappear," the Joker told them. They released him and he disappeared through the door. Mario and Luigi shared a glance, then followed after him.

Back in the party room, everyone was standing in a crowd. The lights went off again, then a spotlight appeared, and the Joker was standing in it, holding Princess Peach again.

"Well, tonight was a disappointment. I didn't even get to, uh, blow anything up. Oh well."

Princess Peach turned and whispered something to the Joker. "You're probably right," he nodded. Then he removed his coat, reached into his pants' pocket and pulled out a rag. He wiped his face with the rag, and all his makeup came right off.

Then, the Joker reached up and pulled on his hair, which came off of his head. It was a wig! Underneath the wig was a mass of curly brown hair. Now that the makeup was off, Luigi could see that the person standing beside Peach was actually a girl, and that she was someone he knew.

"L van Am?! You were the Joker?"

She jumped down from the balcony and landed on the floor of the party room perfectly. "Yup! It was me! I fooled you! Ha ha ha!"

Luigi looked at Mario. "Ambush her?" He asked calmly.

"Let's."

The two brothers jumped on the authoress, enveloping the three in a large cloud of dust that hid the catfight from the audience. When the dust dispersed, L van Am was on the ground.

"Mercy! I'll explain if you get off me!"

The two stood up, as did the girl, brushing the dust off. "Okay. None of you were ever in any actual danger. Peach just asked me to provide a little spooky game for her Halloween party, and I was bored and needed a plot for my latest story."

"Any particular reason why you dressed up as the Joker?" Luigi asked.

She shrugged. "I love the Dark Knight movies, and I wanted to test my Joker impression."

"One last question. Why did you come over to my house before the party and scare the living daylights out of me?"

The girl looked disturbed. "I've never been to your house before, Luigi."


A/N: Little twist at the end for ya there. Hope you like it.

I wasn't sure whether or not to put this in the crossover section, so I decided against it, but if you think it belongs there, just let me know and I'll move it.

I have a Facebook page! Like L van Am if you want to see fanart for my other works, plus excerpts for upcoming works, and other cool stuff... Not much on there at the moment, but like it if you want. And review this story here while you're at it! Hope you enjoyed!