Sorry guys..this has been long overdue. So i changed it a little bit and just merged the two chapters together and what was meant to be the third chapter since they were all really short. I though it might make sense this way. Hopefully its alright. If you guys can see mistakes and stuff please dont hesitate to tell me :) Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Card Captor Sakura because i ain't filthy rich.
The doors open and finally it's my turn. Emerald meets amber and nothing else matters, not the cry of a baby nor the loose thread of my dress because at that second when amber met emerald it is nothing but perfect.
I take a step and I notice your boyish lopsided smile, the one I know you save only for me, your best friend.
2004
As Head Boy you're once again surrounded by the female population of the school. To them you seem interested with your polite smile and small talk but I know better. You see me and I stick my tongue out to you as you mouth the words, 'Help me'. I let you suffer a little longer but we both know I could never say no to you and so I save you from your cage of girls.
"Thanks," you say and your boyish lopsided smile emerges.
I'm not even half way there and you're nervous…I can tell…your hand, it's running through your hair and you breathe in and out, slowly and deeply.
1995
"Oi! You're next, stop touching your hair." I whisper to you with a grin of amusement.
"Shut up! It's not funny," your clearly annoyed and this just makes me laugh even more. Because the thing is, it is funny, you in your sparkly, pink attire about to dance 'I'm a Barbie Girl' in front of the whole class.
"Just breathe in and out. Slowly and deeply." I whisper hurriedly and push you to the stage because we're nine and I dared you to.
I'm halfway there and I hear, "You're beautiful Lianne," from a ebony haired teenage girl, then my eyes flicker to the floor for a moment as my mouth curves upwards in a smile. I look up when I hear you laugh as someone trips while walking on the aisle. As usual you look incredibly handsome and with that I fall in love with you all over again. But I give you a 'look', that 'look' I've mastered all through our relationship, the one that says 'stop what you're doing', and well of course you wouldn't be you if you didn't understand what the 'look' meant, then as expected you smirk and wink my way and I roll my eyes. It's like a routine, like an over played movie, we know exactly what's going to happen next.
2009
"Don't roll your eyes; it'll get stuck like that."
"Then stop smirking! Honestly! We we're at church and you start texting! Seriously, how old are you?! Twelve?" I retort annoyingly.
"Actually, twenty-three so no you're wrong." You say still grinning.
"Hypothetical question, you idiot!" I shout as I hurriedly walk away trying to hide a smile.
"I saw that! You smiled! I'm off the hook!" you shout back with a laugh.
Yes, that's right because as we were growing up whatever mischief or stupidity you did that made me angry or annoyed or upset, at the end of the day, we both knew that you were always going to be off the hook.
I'm here in front of you and you show me that boyish lopsided smile of yours, with that a single tear rolls down my cheek and you give me a quick but warm embrace paired with a sweet kiss on the cheek. I look up to you with a smile and you whisper excitedly, "She's here!"
"Your bride." I whisper with a smile.
2010
"Oi! Where have you been?!" I yell over top the incredibly loud music of the crowded club as I see your shaggy dark chestnut hair.
"I had to find a bloody parking! Damn it's monstrous in here!" you shout back.
"So why'd you want to meet up here of all places?" I say as we squeeze our way through the raving sea of people to get to a much calmer part of the club. But I see that you're distracted as your eyes flicker from the door to the bar and to the dance floor, suddenly your face brightens in the dark and you whisper excitedly, "She's here!"
"Who?"
A strange feeling is at the pit of my stomach…this isn't part of the routine…I don't know what's going to happen next.
"Lianne…"
Then
Nothing else mattered then, not the cry of a baby or the loose thread of my dress or the elegant white gowned beauty as she slowly glided through the double doors because my emerald eyes could only see your amber eyes and at that moment I forgot I wasn't your bride but your best friend.
You're playing with your hair, breathing in and out, slowly and deeply because now that you've seen her hazel eyes that shone with love and her hair as dark as ebony you're awestruck with love.
I'm half way there and I hear, "You're beautiful Lianne," from none other than her dark haired sister. My eyes flicker to the floor when another realisation hits me and my mouth curves up into a sad smile. It turns out the bride herself was nervous too when she slightly stumbled behind me after she shyly thanked her younger sister and of course only you would laugh at that, so I give you the 'look' to save the bride any further embarrassment but she herself gave a small laugh and everyone else in the church sigh as they witness the type of love the bride and groom share.
Now
A single tear rolls down my cheek- you don't suspect my sadness, I guess I've been too good at hiding it- you give me hug that makes it hard for me to let go and a kiss on the cheek that breaks my heart but I work hard to mask my sadness and lift up my eyes up to you with a smile and whisper in a quiet reply, "Your bride."
As I see you up there holding her hand, caressing her cheek, saying your vow with brightness in your face I have never seen through our life together either as mischievous children or as partners in crime in the adventure we called growing up and I can't help myself but give a genuine smile.
"So I guess you're off the hook…" I whisper.
I walk out to the balcony from the blissful chaos of the reception hall. It was beautiful of course; the Li clan and the Mataake Family wouldn't settle for any less. I mean they have the money, the reputation and the connections to make this the wedding of the decade and they did exactly just that. And like any girl I love beautiful things, and so like every girl this beauty made my heart swell but unlike any other it also crush it as I again grasped for maybe the millionth time that this was not my wedding. This beauty was not for me. The groom was not mine.
And so I left, the pain being unbearable. I take a deep breath and take in the glistening lights of Tokyo.
"You're okay." I whisper to myself over and over. Trying to convince myself as a lump in my throat rises and I fight back the urge to cry.
"Sakura-chan, taking a breather too are you?"
I take a shaky breath and turn around to the man I consider my second father. His amber eyes, although darker, is still just as intense as his son's, his hair speckled with grey and a smile just as gentle.
I give a tired laugh and reply, "Yes, it's not only getting too hot in there but also too loud."
He walks my way and leans back at the railing staring inside the hall. I follow his gaze and my eyes land on the smiling couple dancing in the midst of everyone else. We're both quiet for a while, just staring at them. Then Shao Long-sama breaks the silence.
"There was a time, where the clan and I thought that you were going to be Syaoran's wife, his heir bearer and I guess a time where he himself thought it too."
"Thoughts are different from reality, Shao Long-sama." I reply calmy, deceiving what I really felt inside. Complete and utter shock.
"Yes, of course. Don't get me wrong Sakura-chan, Lianne is a nice girl, it's just I hoped you would be legally attached to the Li Clan." He replies with a chuckle.
"Thank you, I think." I reply with a small laugh.
"You know if you told him not to marry her, he'd do it just because you told him."
Early September 2011
"So why did you drag me here in the city when I could be in the beach with my colleagues?" I ask with false annoyance.
He takes a deep breath and runs his hand through his hair and then grabs my hand gently, "I need you to look at something for me and don't laugh okay?" he lets my hand go and reaches into his pocket to retrieve a blue velvet box. My heart is in my throat. I can't breathe. This cannot be happening. It's obvious what's in the box. I can tell, the waitress can tell, everyone can tell what's in that box. He opens it and just like I thought a ring glistens with magnificence and elegance inside it like a pearl in a shell.
"It's beautiful!" I exclaim and pick it up delicately with my hands. He smiles; you know that smile he saves just for me.
"So what do you say?" He asks curiously.
"Bro, if you were going to ask me to marry couldn't you have done it in a more romantic way?"
"I knew you were just going to joke around. I'm thinking of asking Lianne to marry me." He says taking the box away from me with a crease between his eyebrows.
I'm quiet.
"What? You don't think I should?"
'No.' I think to myself. But only no sound comes out of my mouth.
"Sakura, you're the first person I told about this. Tell me what you're thinking. Should I or should I not?"
"Maybe you should talk to your parents first." This time the joking tone has vanished as the seriousness of the matter dawns over me. I could really lose him this time.
He snorts.
"Come on we both know I listen to you more than my own parents."
"Well, it's really your choice. And whatever it's going to be I'll be there to support you."
I laugh at this, because it's true. But then who am I to deprive him from the joy he's feeling now?
I can't do that. I never will.
The night gets deeper and the guests are gradually dispersing and it's my time to go too…
I tap his shoulder and whisper, "I have to go," as he talks to his best man and both our close friend.
"What!? Already? As best friend shouldn't you stay until the bride and groom leaves? That's like in the contract!" He exclaims as he gives me a tight embrace.
"I know, I know, but hey only one of us can be the CEO of the Li Branch, some of us actually have to work for someone."
He laughs at this and I smile. I love his laugh.
"Sakura-san you can't be leaving already?" Lianne asks as she comes over and gives Syoaran another glass of champagne.
'He doesn't like champagne,' is what I really want to say but instead I agree and say goodbye.
"Thanks again for last night," she whispers to me as she gives me a hug good bye. I just nod in acknowledgement, give a final smile and turn around as Syaoran gives his new wife a kiss on top of her head.
Night before the wedding
"Hey thanks for coming out, I know you're probably busy in the kitchen." Lianne says as I sit down in the busy restaurant from the kitchen still in uniform.
"It's alright, I'm on break anyway. What's up?" I ask curiously.
"I was wondering after your shift tonight, if you wanted to go out with us girls."
"Oh!"
Saying I'm shocked is an understatement. I guess I never realised that we have never spent time together alone before or without Syaoran there.
"I mean, I'm getting married to your best friend and we've never had girl talk before…" She trails off nervously.
"Yea, oh yea. I completely understand…umm I'm really touched, but maybe after the wedding cause I don't think I'm going to finish here anytime soon," I reply slowly and gesturing the busy restaurant, "Thanks Lianne though, seriously I mean it. Next time I promise."
"Oh, I guess you're right, sorry about that. It is short notice." She states as she gives me a polite smile yet her posture is still quite tense.
It's quiet for some time and I become conscious about the fact that we don't really have anything to talk about. We both don't have anything in common apart from Syaoran. And for some odd reason this saddens me.
"So..umm if that's all I probably should go back inside the kitchen…" I awkwardly utter as I stand up slowly.
Out of nowhere she grabs my hand tightly and I am astounded, I look down at our hands and then at her nervous face.
"Thank you."
I'm confused.
"Thank you for not being in love with him. I mean, I know that I would probably lose if you became my rival because I know how high he regards you in his life, you're his best friend. Your friendship with him is second to no one. And I was always so worried that maybe he'd realise that he's in love with-"
"Friendship. That's what we have; you guys have a relationship where you both are in love with each other. There is no competition and there never will be. Okay?"
She nods and slowly her whole aura seems so much more relaxed as if what she just told me was her biggest secret.
"Just don't hurt him, okay?" I ask, in a pleading voice.
"I won't," she replies quietly and stands up to give me an embrace I willingly accept because for the first time I realise that the girl you're about to marry might actually love you half as much as I do.
As I turn around like I did the night before I give a weak yet sincere smile and with a broken heart I think to myself…
'So I guess you're off the hook.'
The cold night breeze kisses my face as I walk out of the reception hall. It's refreshing, exactly what I need. I reach into my purse and call the only person who knows of the heart break I am currently feeling. It is as if time is standing still as I wait for the caller to answer my desperate call.
"Hello..?"
"Hey, do you want to go out for a drink..?" I ask uncertainly.
"That bad, huh? I tol.."
"Please. I just really need a drink. Do you want to come or.."
"Ill be there in ten minutes."
"Thank you." I whisper.
Cold. This is all I feel. I cannot blame anyone of this feeling but myself. It is typically cliché to fall for ones best friend. Typically predictable for the one to fall in love to keep it to thyself. Tears slowly emerge from my emerald eyes. I want to stop but I cant and I guess that hurts even more.
"Sakura-chan?"
Tomoyo. Dammit.
"Here you are. you didn't even say goodbye to say you were leaving." She continues in an irritated tone. I hear her approach me and I quickly wipe away traces of my sadness.
"Oh, hey yea..sorry. couldn't find you."
"Liar. You just couldn't get out of there fast enough." She exclaims accusingly. She glares at me in annoyance then she slowly closes her eyes and take a deep breathe and before she opens her mouth to say anymore , I put up my hand to stop her from speaking.
"Tomoyo, just leave it. Okay?" I plead her.
"No! I will not leave it! I have left it multiple times. Haven't mention it or uttered anything about it to Syaoran. Please, Sakura I'm your bestfriend and you can't even bring yourself to admit it to me." Her tone is angry now, "Look at you, I can see pain written all over your face. Let me-"
"Don't." I curtly reply to her.
Late October 2011
I rush through in the bathroom as panic slowly tries to explode through my chest. I can't breathe. What is happening to me? I look in the mirror and my face is red, hair in dissaray.
"Your'e okay. Your'e okay." I whisper to myself repeatedly. And I look at my trembling fingers and hold them to try and still them. Thankfully the panic is dissapitating and I am left taking in large gulps of air. Suddenly, a soft hand are patts my back reassuringly. I look up and notice Tomoyo looking at me, her ayes full of worry.
"You have to tell him." She says to me bluntly.
"Tell who, what?"
"Syaoran, about how.."
"There's nothing to tell." I interupt hurriedly.
"Do you honestly think I'm stupid? Im your bestfriend and I'm also not blind." She retorts, annoyance laced through her voice.
"Just leave it. I need to be happy for my bestfriend who just announced he's enganged. Please. There's nothing to tell." I reply calmly.
I hurriedly leave the bathroom and as I reach the door handle, she whispers "But your not happy."
"I will be." I look at her and give a soft smile.
So maybe, there is more than one person who knows of my heart ache. I guess I really shouldn't have been surprised I mean, Tomoyo is my bestfriend and she knows me in a way Syaoran doesn't.
I can hear Tomoyo rambling and lecturing me but I am suddenly aware of a dull ache in my head. Her voice is slowly fading and the world is spinning.
"No.." I whisper.
"What?"
I reach for Tomoyo and she grabs my hand, her eyes are wide with worry. I can see her moving her mouth but I hear nothing but silence. She whips her head to turn as if she's speaking to someone, I try to say her name and again sound comes out. What is wrong with me? I close my eyes and a pop goes off in my ears, I can hear myself whisper her name now.
"Yamazaki! Help!" She screams frantically.
"What's wrong?"
"I don't know. It's Sakura…get Syaoran!"
I am on the ground now, my legs are unable to keep me up and Tomoyo is dragged down with me too. Get a grip! I tell myself! Then I hear a car stop near us, the slam of the door and two sets of voices calling my name. The first from the car and the second from entrance of the hall. I look up to see the second voice belonging to Syaoran and he rushes to my side but the man with the first voice is closer to me and he lifts me into his arms, I whisper "Hey".
"You've really done it now." He replies.
"What the fuck are you doing?" Syaoran excliams as he nears us.
"Take me away" I frantically say. And without a reply he rushes to the car and sets me down and shuts the door. I buckle myself in and look out the window. What I see wrenches my heart, Tomoyo is crying hyterically and Syaoran is angry as hell looking at the car and at the man who I know he has never met before. I can hear their muffled voices. Angry and confuse.
"Who are you?" Syaoran shouts.
"It's none of your business." Is the reply he gets.
"What the fuck?" Syaoran pushes him aside and strides to the car door and I lock it.
"Sakura! Open the door" He screams.
I am thankful for the tinted windows as my tears run down my face freely. "I'm sorry…" I whisper repeatedly even though I know he can't hear me.
I didn't even notice the other door open or close until I hear the man beside me turn on the engine.
"We have to go Sakura." He says quietly. I turn to him and nod.
I look at the side mirror and I see the figures of my friends slowly becoming smaller but it is evident that Syaoran is livid in anger. Anger I have only ever seen once in our enitre time together.
2007
I am dancing to the sound of heavy beats, intoxicated from alcohol and the energy of my favourite club. A night out! I deserved this I told myself earlier that night, after the grueling Culinary Arts examinations. Therefore, here I am now, letting myself let loose and enoying my freedom!
A pair of hands slide themselves around my waist from behind and bringing my body closer to his. I turn around and damn this man is hot, dark hair, tall and muscular. We dance together like this, wwrapped in eac others arms sometimes stealing kisses from each other. The vibration of my phone distracts me and I take it out of my pocket and look at the called id.
"Oh fuck!" I mutter.
"Hello.?" I answer uncertainly, dance partner still moving to the beat of the music.
"Sakura, do you know th- where ar you?" the other line asks calmy.
"Heey Syaoran! Enjoying myself." Shut up my non logical self tells my druken state.
"Let's take this somewhere else" My dance partner whispers to my ear, where the phone is. Shit.
"Who was that?" Syaoran replies calmly. Like the calm before the storm. I don't answer and just quickly hangs up the phone. After a few more minutes of dancing my dance partner asks me the same question again and so, my drunken self drags my dance partner outside the club and he pushes me against the wall and plants his mouth onto mine into a heated kiss. I put my arms around his neck, through his hair and pulls is head closer. "You're so dead" my logical self warns. My dance partner pushes me harder against the wall and I am suddenly awakened by the feel of his pelivis against my own, his hardening member clearly unimstakable. My mind screams stop but my body, driven by alcohol outweighs my mind and therefore continue to its desires. That is until my dance partner is pulled away from me and instead thrown to the ground.
"What the fuck?" I exclaim. However, my mouth shuts up as I see Syaoran's amber eyes ablaze with anger.
"Get in the car Sakura." He says angrily.
"No." My drunken state replies. Shut up and get in the car my logical state seems to say and with one look from Syaoran I knew I had no choice.
"Wei. I really hate it that you live close by." I mutter to the driver.
After that night we screamed and yelled at each other and did not speak for a week. I accused him of being an overprotective brother figure and he accused me as an insolent child.
But that is all in the past now. After tonight I feel like I won't be speaking to Syaoran for a awhile.
"Thanks Eriol." I finally say. He grunts in response.
I'm sorry Syaoran but I don't think I can smile anymore. It just hurts too much. I'm sorry but I don't think can let you off the hook this time. And again for the second time that night I broke down in tears.
Hey guys! So I've decided to just make this a one-shot. And if I've got time maybe I will make a follow up or something. Thanks for reading this :) Please tell me what you think :)