they say love is a virtue, don't they?
My mother used to say that I should believe in hope just as much as I believed in anything tangible. She told me that the molecules that make up hope aren't composed of carbon or hydrogen, but of the people's dreams. Hope is what connects people, she said, because every single dream of one person is bound to the dream of another, connecting the whole world in a perfect circle. She used to say that we are never lost, that by following our dreams, we will always find our way home.
When I first came to the United States of America from my home in England, I was expecting a little craziness and some weird stuff, like their absolute refusal to drink tea properly, or calling football 'soccer'. But nothing could have prepared me for this patient. A woman with no memory of her past whatsoever, and covered in mysterious tattoos. Bloody hell, that would be a wicked plot for a drama on TV.
From the very first moment, I've felt empathy for the woman – Jane, her name for the moment. Even in her tumultuous confusion, she refuses to give up, and in her eyes you can see her utter determination to rescue the answers that were stolen from her. When she discards the tea I've brought for her in favour of the coffee, saying it "…tastes like grass trimmings," I can't stop myself from feeling a little disappointed. I know I sound like a petulant child, but the truth is that I'm homesick. I miss my mum and I miss my city. I miss football, the perpetual bad weather, even those stupid boy bands.
Then the team finds out that after all she's a long lost friend of Weller's. But that doesn't decrease the number of unanswered questions by much. So it makes total sense to have an appointment with both of them, because right now Weller's the one with the upper hand, knowing more about her past than she does. It's clear as day that their bond is already strong, because for her part, she feels like her only real connection with the outside world is that man. And, well, let's not start with Special Agent Weller, he alone could use some psychotherapy – he's a mountain of past problems poorly addressed, and a castaway drifting in a sea of guilt. So between the pressure Jane feels at being his long lost best friend, and Kurt's inability to let go of the ifs and maybes of the situation, they make a rare pair.
After that, I help Jane adjust to her new life. Every session I guide her through some simple tasks and choices, assuring her that each subsequent decision she takes is helping to define who she is. One day we are listening to The Doors and Pink Floyd (and I can't help but be a little smug inside that she prefers Pink Floyd), and the next we are discussing what makes her scared or nervous. We address some basic social etiquette, as well as talking about her tattoos and learning to be comfortable in her own skin.
After some months it is Kurt who sits in front of me. He needs my clearance to go back into the field after taking a bullet to the heart two months ago. As restless as he appears, there's something in his smile that reminds me a bit too much of a love song by The Beatles, and I have my suspicions about the cause of his good humour. When I go home for the night, I can't stop myself from playing 'All You Need is Love' with the volume turned right up, while I sing along in my apron, cooking Yorkshire puddings that remind me of home.
I like to think that I'm a good psychologist, so it's not entirely a shock when Jane admits that's she's been seeing Kurt for almost an year. Still, I give her all the time that she needs to speak about her fears. For almost two hours, I listen to her talking about all the battles that she has faced and won, all the adjustments she has made in this new chapter of her life. She doesn't sound terrified of the name Taylor Shaw anymore, nowadays that name doesn't carry much weight. She smiles whenever we discuss Agent Weller, and it's so clear that she is in love that she might as well have it written on her forehead. I smile because it's been such a long and bumpy road since that day she woke up in Times Square. The panic and confusion have changed gradually into a sense of security and belonging, and I can't stop myself from feeling proud of this strong woman.
The next time Jane passes by the office, she doesn't come alone. Kurt is by her side (well, it seems like these days that's the only place he ever is – always by her side), but there's also another beating heart in the room. The reason behind this visit is that Jane can no longer tolerate Kurt's constantly overprotective behavior. She argues that she's only three months pregnant and that she is well capable of taking care of herself, and that Kurt should mind his own business. But even when they are fighting, there's no doubting their love, because most of the discussion is punctuated by longing eyes and half smiles. Kurt promises to step back a little, and Jane promises not to throw anymore objects directly at his head.
It's been a while since I've seen Kurt or Jane, but one day I'm passing by Kurt's office and he calls my name. He shows me a photo of a little girl and gives me an invitation to his wedding. We shake hands.
Harry Borden had always loved fairy tales and stories of heroes. But very early in his life, reality had punched him in the face, with the same force that his father used to beat his mother. That erased his belief in fairy tales, but strengthened his faith in heroes, because his mother overcome it all and is still a ray of sunshine in every life she touches. Growing up, he finds out that he wants to be a psychologist when he begins to understand the power of words, how the articulation of a set of symbols can lead to the destruction or the rebirth of the light. He believes words are stronger than punches, and love is stronger than fear.
So, this is the story of how Harry Borden saw a stranger to the whole world, including herself, and became the crutch of a faulty person. And maybe that's what reignites his faith in fairy tales, because what he has just witnessed is the long story of two troubled souls that managed to find each other in a world that is sometimes so grizzly.
So when he gets home, he calls his mother. "Hey Mum, what do you think about visiting New York sometime? I was so wrong, Mum, the madness of this city is not only about peoples' eccentricity and their busy lives, it's also about fighting for hope again."