When Hope Is Gone.
As Gwen tried to sleep, she could only relive the words over and over again, in her overactive mind.
"What you did to me….everything I cherished between us, everything we had it's gone. That'll never change."
Even now hours later the hurt still filled her, as she struggled to come to terms with what she knew, was the end of her and Arthur's relationship.
When she looked back at their brief time in Ealdor, when they had hugged, she had felt the love he had for her, in that moment. She knew it had been there, she could read it in his eyes as he first saw her. She was so sure that then their love was still alive, and it was that, which had kept her going in the following days.
What had changed in that time she wondered? What was it that had suddenly made Arthur's mind up so abruptly? She knew that Tristan's constant sniping at Arthur was chipping away at his fragile inner confidence. It was why she had gone over to Arthur, to reassure him and tell him she still believed in him. She wondered briefly if it had been her timing, as Tristan had said something to him, she couldn't quite hear.
But the hurt in Arthur's voice as he said the words left little doubt in her mind, that he had meant them. All she could do; was to walk away and find a little place where she could hide, and try and pull herself together. She knew she had to stay loyal to him, no matter what. Whether they were together or not, she still believed in him as her King, and she would prove that.
In the days that followed she kept her distance, but she was never far away. Just in case she was needed, she was determined she would not shirk her duty. As she busied herself it was easy to carry on, even if inside it was tearing her apart. But this had always been her, ever since she was a child; she had always been the strong one. The one who had taken the place of a mother, and looked after two broken hearted men. That time, had given her an inner strength in situations such as these. Yet at times even Gwen felt the need for support, but only at night did she allow her tears to be shed, unseen by anyone.
As she gathered a load of firewood next day, and prepared to put it down, she noticed Tristan present Isolde with some flowers. Tristan was a puzzle, so attentive towards Isolde and yet so negative towards Arthur; and the world at large. For a second though Gwen couldn't help but watch the tender scene, with a little envy in her heart.
Forcing herself to leave and give them some space, she walked away. A few seconds later a voice whispered in her ear softly.
"Never give up hope. Love is stronger than anything."
Gwen turned to find Isolde by her side. Gwen was touched, grateful that at least someone could sense her grief. She smiled at Isolde as she walked off, and allowed her words to give her comfort. Just at the time when Gwen was losing hope, she had received a boost. She knew she had to keep going, and continue to believe that one day her and Arthur would be together again. Until that time she would carry on and take heart from Isolde's words.
A Few Weeks later in Camelot
Gwen was walking into the field by the citadel. It was a lovely day, with the sun shining and the birds singing. Camelot had been retaken, Arthur was back on the throne, and within a week she would become his Queen. But today she was not thinking about that, today she was thinking about someone else. She was thinking of someone who sadly had become one of the sad victims of the battle that had followed.
As she came to the Isolde's resting place she put down the bunch of flowers she had just picked, with a heavy heart. It had seemed that already people had forgotten about her, as plans for her wedding had overtaken everything. But Gwen could not so easily forget about it, at times she wondered if life was ever fair?
The death of Isolde to Gwen seemed incredibly tragic to her, a total waste of a beautiful life. As she remembered the scene of walking back into the throne room and seeing her final moments, in Tristan's arms, Gwen had wanted to despair. But life continued as ever, round and around it went, leaving people by the wayside, and leaving others lost in the wreckage.
They had tried to persuade Tristan to stay on at Camelot, but he had left a heartbroken man. Gwen was not sure she had seen anyone as broken as him, after Isolde's death. The last thing Gwen had promised him was that she would take care of Isolde's resting place, and she vowed that she would, Queen or no Queen.
As she stooped down and touched the stone with Isolde's name on it, she reflected on that scene again in the forest, when Isolde had given Gwen the hope to continue on, and believe in her and Arthur's future together. Isolde had been right, and Gwen would have given anything to be able to say thank you to her, right now.
She allowed a couple of tears to drop on the cold stone. They had not known each other long, but Gwen had felt they could have been friends, sadly that was not to be. But she would always remember the girl that had helped her through her own crisis, that day.
Gwen was so lost in her own thoughts; she didn't hear the footsteps until Arthur's voice interrupted her.
"I thought you'd be here." Arthur said gently.
"I'm sorry." Gwen apologised. "I should have said where I was going." She realized telling people where she was going, would be something to get use to once she became Queen.
"It doesn't matter." Arthur said. "I'd guessed you'd be here, after our conversation this morning."
"I made Tristan a promise." Gwen smiled sadly.
"Nobody who made sacrifices will be forgotten Guinevere." Arthur promised her. "We must make a Camelot a safe place, with the right values. The values that people such as Isolde had."
"It is more than that." Gwen explained. "It was Isolde that made me believe when my own hope was gone Arthur. Without her I wonder if we'd be together now."
Arthur reached for Gwen's hand, and both of them looked down, lost in their own thoughts for a second. When they finally started on the journey back to the citadel, the sun was beginning to go down, as another day in Camelot came to an end.