For the One You Left Behind
Carolyn984@aol.com
Here's another one-shot.. I kinda blended my own situation, which is oddly similar to Misty's, with what I imagine she would be thinking after she was forced to return to Cerulean to run the gym. Some things I left ambiguous enough to relate to either of our situations, even though none of you know mine! (although I bet you can guess the beach situation is taken from my experiences, but hey, Misty and Ash could've, too) ^_^;; It's eerie how much I can relate to her separation.. enough to write this! *sigh*
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It's unfair, I think, that things have to happen this way. We were plodding along so happily, you know? Going from place to random place, meeting new people, seeing amazing, fantastic things that we'd never seen before.. and our adventures, my God, our adventures. I highly doubt that anyone else has even encountered even a fraction of the things that we have in our short, longish time together. It was an impulse, actually.. an act of fate that forced us to meet, and let me tell you, I could not be more grateful. As I stand here, overlooking the water as I often do, I can't help but think of how our lives used to be--how carefree and innocuous, simple, yet horrendously complicated at the same time.
Like the waves that smother the summer sands, all of these memories come crashing down on me. Happy ones, sad ones, ones that scared me senseless, and even ones that grossed me out to no end.. they all have a place. Every now and again, a new memory will just pop up out of seemingly nowhere, and I'll close my eyes and I can see it happen all over again. The scents, the sounds, the images.. they all come back, and when I open my blue eyes again, I am shocked and disappointed to see that they are gone. Right now, as a matter of fact, I can see us walking this very beach together. The sun has gone down, and the light breezes cast a cool relief over our skin, scattering my long hair in its wake. It took us an hour, maybe, to walk to the other end of the shore. Such a pleasant hour.. such a nice time. Yeah, nice. I can't think of any other word to describe it. I mean, it wasn't phenomenal or anything. I truly enjoyed it, of course, and would do it again in a heartbeat if given a chance.. but you know, it was just.. nice. It was too light-hearted and carefree to be anything else. Just walking and talking, sharing each other's company. When you held my hand to help me over the rocks, well, that upped the 'nice' factor a bit, clearly, but.. yeah.
Nice.
No one else was around, save for a sporadic walker or two, and heat lightning flashed in the distance over the serene water. I tried not to take it as a sign of anything other than just random weather patterns, but you know me--hopeless romantic and all. It was just so magically, fairy tale-y, *nice*. So perfect--just the right temperature, a warm 70- something degrees, a light breeze, peachy grains of sand and smooth shells under our feet, and of course the sparkling stars and midnight-blue water.
I open my eyes, and yet again, I am crestfallen with the abrupt realization that I have been fantasizing about the past again. Sometimes I can't help it though. Do you blame me?
As it turns out, that same fate and impulse that brought us together has now torn us apart. It's unfair that we had to be separated by forces that we can't control. I mean, did anyone stop and consider *my* feelings for a change? That maybe, just maybe, I didn't want to have to come back home, for you to go on without me? Of course not. I was always just the youngest one, the baby, the one who got stuck with doing the dishes and cleaning the goldeen tank because I knew no one else would. Maybe that's why I was so eager to leave and follow you around--a kid I fished out of a river. I guess fate has a funny way of working; I got to leave home and taste the freedom and adventure, and dare I say it? Love of being with you, and our time was then cut tragically short by the very family that couldn't care less where I was. Trip around the world? I'll give you a trip around the world . . .
Anyway, I guess what I wanted to say is, that I'm going to miss you. So. Much. It sucks being the one left behind.. but I know you'll go on and make me proud in all the adventures and success that you're going to have. God, I wish I could be there.. but I have to be here and tend to my birth- given duties. 'Tis better to taste the sweet nectar of love and lose it, than to never have had the chance . . . Life's unfair. I know. But it doesn't mean it's the end. We still have our whole lives ahead of us. We'll find each other again. So, like we said . . .
. . . 'til the day we meet again . . .
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Carolyn984@aol.com
(c)2003 by Carolyn
Carolyn984@aol.com
Here's another one-shot.. I kinda blended my own situation, which is oddly similar to Misty's, with what I imagine she would be thinking after she was forced to return to Cerulean to run the gym. Some things I left ambiguous enough to relate to either of our situations, even though none of you know mine! (although I bet you can guess the beach situation is taken from my experiences, but hey, Misty and Ash could've, too) ^_^;; It's eerie how much I can relate to her separation.. enough to write this! *sigh*
--------------------------------------------
It's unfair, I think, that things have to happen this way. We were plodding along so happily, you know? Going from place to random place, meeting new people, seeing amazing, fantastic things that we'd never seen before.. and our adventures, my God, our adventures. I highly doubt that anyone else has even encountered even a fraction of the things that we have in our short, longish time together. It was an impulse, actually.. an act of fate that forced us to meet, and let me tell you, I could not be more grateful. As I stand here, overlooking the water as I often do, I can't help but think of how our lives used to be--how carefree and innocuous, simple, yet horrendously complicated at the same time.
Like the waves that smother the summer sands, all of these memories come crashing down on me. Happy ones, sad ones, ones that scared me senseless, and even ones that grossed me out to no end.. they all have a place. Every now and again, a new memory will just pop up out of seemingly nowhere, and I'll close my eyes and I can see it happen all over again. The scents, the sounds, the images.. they all come back, and when I open my blue eyes again, I am shocked and disappointed to see that they are gone. Right now, as a matter of fact, I can see us walking this very beach together. The sun has gone down, and the light breezes cast a cool relief over our skin, scattering my long hair in its wake. It took us an hour, maybe, to walk to the other end of the shore. Such a pleasant hour.. such a nice time. Yeah, nice. I can't think of any other word to describe it. I mean, it wasn't phenomenal or anything. I truly enjoyed it, of course, and would do it again in a heartbeat if given a chance.. but you know, it was just.. nice. It was too light-hearted and carefree to be anything else. Just walking and talking, sharing each other's company. When you held my hand to help me over the rocks, well, that upped the 'nice' factor a bit, clearly, but.. yeah.
Nice.
No one else was around, save for a sporadic walker or two, and heat lightning flashed in the distance over the serene water. I tried not to take it as a sign of anything other than just random weather patterns, but you know me--hopeless romantic and all. It was just so magically, fairy tale-y, *nice*. So perfect--just the right temperature, a warm 70- something degrees, a light breeze, peachy grains of sand and smooth shells under our feet, and of course the sparkling stars and midnight-blue water.
I open my eyes, and yet again, I am crestfallen with the abrupt realization that I have been fantasizing about the past again. Sometimes I can't help it though. Do you blame me?
As it turns out, that same fate and impulse that brought us together has now torn us apart. It's unfair that we had to be separated by forces that we can't control. I mean, did anyone stop and consider *my* feelings for a change? That maybe, just maybe, I didn't want to have to come back home, for you to go on without me? Of course not. I was always just the youngest one, the baby, the one who got stuck with doing the dishes and cleaning the goldeen tank because I knew no one else would. Maybe that's why I was so eager to leave and follow you around--a kid I fished out of a river. I guess fate has a funny way of working; I got to leave home and taste the freedom and adventure, and dare I say it? Love of being with you, and our time was then cut tragically short by the very family that couldn't care less where I was. Trip around the world? I'll give you a trip around the world . . .
Anyway, I guess what I wanted to say is, that I'm going to miss you. So. Much. It sucks being the one left behind.. but I know you'll go on and make me proud in all the adventures and success that you're going to have. God, I wish I could be there.. but I have to be here and tend to my birth- given duties. 'Tis better to taste the sweet nectar of love and lose it, than to never have had the chance . . . Life's unfair. I know. But it doesn't mean it's the end. We still have our whole lives ahead of us. We'll find each other again. So, like we said . . .
. . . 'til the day we meet again . . .
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Carolyn984@aol.com
(c)2003 by Carolyn