A/N: Hello, one and all! I bring you my first real effort with fanfiction in years, and my first Pirates fanfiction ever! I hope you enjoy it. I apologize if it seems a bit slow at first…Anyway, this was beta'd by the lovely Per la gloria d'adorarvi…who by the way owns Genevieve.
I would also like to add the disclaimer that I'm not exactly…serious here. This is a Mary-Sue story, I know it is, and it's really something I'm just writing for my friends. I hate Mary-Sue stories as well and stories that take loads of quotes from the thing they're based off of (so why am I writing this again?) just as much as you do…but, if you enjoy it, then that's great :] Just wanted to state that this is just a bit of silliness.
Speaking of ownership, I obviously own nothing you've heard of and no money is magically being made from this. Disclaimer - over!
-Nari-
Stories like this, they always begin with the girl lying on her back, don't they? She wakes up, realizes she's somewhere completely different, realizes she's in her favorite fandom, then go after their male character of choosing who will inevitably fall in love with them. Now, that's all fine and well, yes, but it doesn't help me out any.
I, the girl, woke up on my back. I realized I was somewhere completely different, and because I have realized that I am on a ship I have assumed that I am in my favorite fandom, Pirates of the Caribbean. But as for the falling I love with the male character of my choosing? There is where the problem arises. I think I have become him. Or her, seeing as I still have all my female parts.
When I woke up a little bit ago and adjusted my eyes to the dim candlelight of the room, which I believe was the captain's quarters on the Black Pearl, I took a minute walking around quietly, seeing if I could figure out which movie I had been mysteriously poofed into. Then I saw the small dirty mirror lying in a pile of something and decided to take a look to see if my face had somehow changed as well. It hadn't. But I saw that I was wearing a wide-rimmed hat on my head, one with a pretty feather on top like the one Barbossa wears. It was so comfy I hadn't even noticed it was there. And it looked nicely with my reddish-brown hair. It was then I noticed the rest of my attire; a blue coat, a dark red vest with very intricate detailing, a very dirty shirt (or do they still use the word "tunic?")…I could go on describing, but it would be much easier to say that I was wearing Barbossa's clothes. Or a version of them anyway, seeing as I'm 5'2'' and I doubt any clothes of his would fit me as well as these did.
Before I could wonder why I was in his clothes or where he was, the doors opened and my question of which movie I was in was answered - It was Pintel and Ragetti, and right before they entered I could see that they were in their skeletal forms. My look of confusion was not lost in the low lighting, apparently, as Pintel asked me if I was alright. That was sweet.
"Is-Is it one a those female problems again, Captain?" Ragetti asked. That wasn't so sweet, but assured me that I had a high rank.
"No, and I don't want to hear you asking me that again!" I commanded. Which was odd, seeing as I'm not very commanding at all. Frankly, I'm a pretty shy and happy person. I guess the attitude comes with captaining and all.
"'M sorry, Captain." I barely heard Ragetti mumble. I did feel sorry.
"We'll be in Port Royal tomorrow evenin.'" Pintel said. I tried to keep a very captain-esque look on my face, but inside I was singing, "I get to pillage and raid! I get to drink up, me hearties!"
"Good." I said simply, trying not to laugh at how happy I was. The two turned to leave, but I had to know something first. "Er, what's…me name?"
"You're…Captain Barbossa." Ragetti said with a bit of apprehension in his voice, his good eye looking at me oddly.
"Yes." I said. "Um, me first name."
"Nari…" Pintel answered, mirroring Ragetti's look.
"Well, that's just jolly!" I said from sheer giddiness, though I believe it would have made the list of "100 Things Hector Barbossa Would Not Say." But I'm Nari, not Hector. Nari is my real name, the one I had back (or forward?) in the 21st century. "I'll be at the helm in about an hour." I said. Yes, I said helm. That really made me want to burst out in a fit of fan girl-approved giggles that I had been neglecting. The two gave me a final look, than exited back out into the moonlight. When I assumed they were out of earshot, I started laughing, a laugh that sounded a bit evil, I might add. I, Nari Black (or, in this case, Barbossa), at the age of only eighteen, had in one unknown step turned into the Pirate Lord of the Caspian seas. The 'how' and 'they' and 'why' didn't really matter to me. It never does at times like this.
But it was then I realized, in tales like these, my friends, the people I was with at the time, would be with me, somewhere in this universe! Genevieve and Samuel, they should be close by! If they were in the same situation that I was in, then, hopefully, one of them would be Jack and the other Will. Unfortunately, I don't think we could alter…history or whatever by stopping everything we were doing just to be all girly and friend-y. Ah, well. I think it would be cool, getting to fire cannons at each other. We were all friends here, right?
Of course, there was that whole getting killed thing that was supposed to happen in my near future, but I decided to worry about that later.
-Genevieve-
As I woke up, it only took a few moments for me to figure out that I wasn't where I was before. As I laid on my mattress that seemed to be made of the clouds themselves, eyes still closed to block out the sun, I tried to remember the memories of last night…Nari, Samuel and I had gone to the mall, and as Nari drove us home…what? It was kind of black after that. I started to wonder if maybe someone had slipped something into my drink of something, and because I'd never had alcohol or drugs before, I passed out…not that any of my friends would do that. As I pondered this, a small thought popped into my head. I don't have a mattress that feels like clouds. I have a mattress that feels like a mattress. And I don't have the sun in my face when I sleep, either. I decided to open my eyes, scared I'd find I was in some hospital or something.
I was definitely not in a hospital. I seemed to be in a small…flat or something similar. The room was kind of dirty, and I didn't mean there were clothes piled everywhere; the walls had this sort of…dirty on them that I couldn't explain. The windows were dusty. The floor didn't look too appealing, either. It puzzled me why there was such a comfortable mattress in such a dingy room.
Before I could get a chance to look at the window (I was praying that we didn't crash and some random stranger took us to some house in the bad part of town) the door opened to a little tired man. Even though I was wearing a long nightgown, I leapt back into the bed and covered myself with the blankets.
"Yer up then?" He said in a gruff voice.
"Um, yes?" I said. "Where am I? Who are you?"
I don't think I was supposed to ask. He gave me a look.
"Hit yer head pretty hard, didn't ya, Turner?" He shook his head and I turned mine sideways. Turner was not my last name. "Shouldn'ta been messin' 'round with my smithing tools…though that sword ye made looked right nice, saved me the trouble of making one for the ceremony."
"The…ceremony?" I asked quietly. I was on the verge of crying. I still knew nothing, and for all I knew this man could rape me at any moment!
"That damned Norrington's getting ranked to Commodore." He said. I frowned - I did not like cursing. But he said Norrington…I tried putting two and two together, but the only conclusion I could think of was…
"A-Am I an orphan?" I asked nervously.
"Course yeh are! Why else would I be having ye up here, Ginny?" At least I hade my name - Ginny…Genevieve. "Now get dressed, I need you to deliver the sword to the Governor." And with that, the tiny man left, and I began to cry.
The tiny man I knew I had seen somewhere, and it just hit me where - the Pirates movie. He was the smithy. It made me a bit happier that he was a nicer person then he was portrayed in the movie, but if he was said smithy, that made me out to be the female version of Will Turner! How could this have happened? Where were Samuel and Nari? Were they okay? And where was I in my time, did my parents think I had gone missing, or worse, died? I couldn't bear it if they had to go through that pain, I just couldn't!
And classes! I'm staring my freshman year in college next week, the college I applied early for and have been thinking about for years! I kept thinking about more things and I kept bringing on new waves of tears for a little while. Slowly, it subsided, and I got off the bed. I needed to stop moping and find a way back. Forward. Whichever. Back to the Future was making a whole lot more sense now.
I looked through the drawers to discover that Genevieve Turner wasn't a wealthy orphan at all. The dresses were all worn and the hems were fraying terribly. It was times like these I wished I knew how to sew. Discarding that thought, I tried to make a plan in my head. If I was Will, then surely I'd have to go visit Elizabeth. This made me wonder, if Will is now a girl, then is Elizabeth now a boy? Anyway, after that I'd…what did Will do in his spare time? The filmmakers completely forgot to show that. But after that? A swordfight with a skilled pirate. Like I can swordfight.
After successfully getting dressed, I wandered down the stairs where the smithy was already asleep in his chair. There was a long box sitting on the table, so fine it looked out of place. I took it and headed out into Port Royal, hoping to find some clue along the way.
-Samuel-
"Hi-Ho!" I cried, yet again. "Hi-Ho!" There were men in the little boats I had seen. They were staring at me for some odd reason.
There was a very good reason I was saying hi-ho, honest. It started out waking up in a really small, grody boat with the sun glaring down on me. I tried yelling at it, and by it I mean the sun, and the boat, and the boat's lack of cleanliness…but nothing happened. So I was going to take off my hoodie because the sun was really hot. But I wasn't wearing my hoodie, I was in full Captain Jack Sparrow regalia, lock, stock, and barrel! Or, in this case, hat, rum, and…barrel.
So I was thinking to myself how wonderful this all was, just walking in the two feet of space I had, practicing my pirate walk and shouting to the birds and the seas, "I am Captain Samuel Sparrow!" (Yes, Samuel…my dad thought it was feminine at the time.) This made the birds fly away, and the sea wasn't to happy with me, either. But somehow, suddenly, in a freak accident that had nothing to do with me learning how to handle my sword, the boat suddenly gets a leak! Yes, It's horrible, I know! So I think to myself, what would Jack Sparrow do? And, well, I am Jack Sparrow, I guess, so I ask myself what I would do, and I come up with making a cool entrance that is according to movie-canon.
So I get up onto the mast and decide to look all manly, with my blond hair waving in the wind and my boat getting all wet. It was still cool.
I probably should have been worried about how I had gotten in this situation and where Nari and Ginny were, but at a time like this, when I'm standing on top of the mast of a famous little boat, waving my hat at dead pirates, all I can think of was, "I'm Captain Jack Sparrow, savvy?" In my head, it doesn't sound as mean as that. I really am worried about them, they're my best friends. But how many chances like this do you get?
Oh, so about the hi-ho…I bet you're waiting for that! So there I was, standing on the mast, and I see what I assume is Port Royal come into view, and these ships and boats with men standing on them, and I was going to cry out, "Land Ho!" Like they do in the movies and all, but…well, have you ever just forgotten a word? Like, it's at the tip of your tongue? Yes, I forgot the word for "land." Rather embarrassing for a pirate, I admit. (Though a pirate spends most of his life at sea, so is it really?) So, I improvised.
And that's where I was, on the mast of a rapidly sinking boat, yelling "Hi-Ho!" to a bunch of dirty looking guys who were looking at me like I was mad. They were probably admiring my clothes. They were very nice.
I set my foot onto the dock and proudly strutted to land, real land, where I figured I could stick to the movie plot and rescue some girl and some guy and look all cool.
"What…hey! Hold up, there, you!" I heard someone call after me. I turned around to face the little man. I had completely forgotten this part of the movie! The great shilling debate! "It's a shilling to tie your boat up to the dock."
"…What if I don't want to tie it?" I try. I get a look and he tells me that he needs to know my name. Must stick to the script, I suppose. "What do you say to…" I reach into the pockets. There are a lot of things in the pockets. And one on them is furry and long. I take out the dead rodent, stare at it for a minute, trying to register in my brain that, yes, it was a dead rodent, then shrieked and threw the rodent onto the man's book.
"…I'm sorry, Miss, we're not accepting ermines as form of payment anymore." He said slowly, trying to nudge the thing off his book with the sleeve. I dove back into my pockets.
"What do you say…" I thought I had found the coins, but when I pulled them out they turned out to be wood. I believe that this was how Hagrid got started.
"If you don't have the shilling, Miss…"
"I have the shilling!" I say digging furiously. "In fact, I've got lots of them! I'm a handy man!" I found the stupid three shillings and set them on his book. "So, what do you say to three shillings, and we forget the name?"
It didn't take him long to contemplate. I guess shillings were big money back then.
"Welcome to Port Royal, Miss Smith." He says shutting his book.
"Tuppence a bag!" I replied, half singing, trying to imitate his accent. He gives me another look and I scurry off to find a new boat. Ship.