This is somehwat of a prequel(maybe?) to my oneshot "Live." You do not have to read that to understand this though, so enjoy!

Never Again

She was taught from a very young age that her happiness should not be based around others. She could not allow people to worm their way into her heart, for they would just leave her alone again. If she relied on others to bring that warmth into her soul, it would end in cold heart break. The only way to be happy was if you were happy with yourself.

At first she didn't believe it. She thought that if she made friends, if her friends were happy, she'd feel happy too. She soon learned how wrong she was, and god did it take its toll on her. They pushed her out, and she was left in the cold, her heart shattering. Left depressed and alone, the only option was to jump. And she did, falling into the gaping hole, prepared to let the claws of death wrap around her body.

It was when she awoke, raising her head to see the sparkling yellow flowers, that she realized how stupid she had been. She'd broken the one rule she was taught, and almost paid the ultimate price. And so, she made a promise. Never again.

When he found her, that promise held fast. No matter what he did, no matter what he said, she would not allow herself to be happy. Her feelings didn't revolve around his. However, when she focused on herself, there was no warmth to be seen. If happiness was to be determined by her and her alone, why couldn't she set that spark within her heart?

It was an experiment, at least that's what she told herself. She was just testing that long held rule, no intention of ever breaking it. Her happiness would not be based upon his, but she had to see if her theory was correct. And so, she began to laugh at his jokes. A smile lay upon her lips whenever he was in sight. An experiment. She'd remind herself. That's all that this is.

Later she would realize how wrong she was. After a while, it wasn't an experiment, not any more. When she laughed, it was real. Her jaws began to hurt because of how frequently that smile appeared on her face. When her heart beat just a bit faster, she realized the experiment was over, that she could stop this now. But she didn't.

Her first mistake was realized soon after. It was an average day, jokes flying from his mouth, a smile gracing her cheeks. Everything was just as it should've been. But it wasn't. Soon, he was pulled away, promising he would return within a day. She waved to him as he left.

One day turned into two, and from two it turned into more. It wasn't bad at the start. The memory of him was still there, and that kept her heart warm. However, as the days went by, a chilling wind set in. He was no longer there to make her smile. He was no longer there to make her laugh. That's when she realized how stupid she had been. Once again, her happiness revolved around someone else.

On the seventh day, he finally returned. When she fell into his arms, he cried. Tears rolled down his cheeks as he made a promise. "Never Again." She, however, did not. Not a single tear graced her cheek.

From then on, her smiles were forced. Her laugh just wasn't the same. She would not allow herself to fail again. She couldn't. If she did, it would just end with cold heart break. That, she knew too well.

And so, she allowed her heart to remain cold. Sure, when she was with him, with Mom and Dad, she'd smile. She'd act as if she couldn't be happier. However, on the inside, she was anything but happy. If she couldn't set that fire on her own, she didn't deserve the warmth. If the only way was to run back into his comforting arms, she would let herself freeze. From that moment forwards, her promise held fast.

Never again.