Written for Springie as part of the 2017 Gatchamania Gift Exchange in response to her prompt: "What happened after the K3 episode? ('Life or Death - The Evil North Wall'?) Would love to see the angsty/romantic after story."
K3. According to Nambu Hakase, that's where our agents have recently discovered evidence of a secret Galactor base. And if a Galactor base built into a mountain wasn't bad enough, the data also says they have their Magma Maser Cannon hidden there. The place seems to be an impenetrable fortress…
After losing most of the operatives that were sent to scale the east, west, and south slopes, the ISO came to the only reasonable conclusion; the base's most likely entrance must be located on the sheer north face of the peak. Leave it to Galactor to find one of the least approachable places on Earth and then build a base there.
It's a mountain that would prove a formidable challenge to even the most avid and skilled of climbers. With constant hurricane force winds and frigid temperatures under the best of conditions, it's not a place that invites casual visitation. The New God Phoenix is one of the most advanced aircraft on the planet, and even it isn't up to the harsh environment that surrounds the nearly vertical slopes. And so, the job falls to me. As the only cyborg member of the Science Ninja Team, I'm the only one who might have a chance to make it up the mountain, infiltrate the base, and sabotage the cannon.
That's how I find myself here, looking up at the swirling vortices of snow, watching as they curl around the rocky outcroppings of one of the world's least scalable mountains. Thankfully, my advanced visual processors are up to the challenge and can make sense from the chaos, allowing me to seek out handholds in the rough cliff face. Foot by foot, meter by meter, I haul myself towards the peak and, hopefully, the entrance to the base, meanwhile, conditions around me worsen with each passing second.
When I can no longer see through the large white flakes that have accumulated on my visor, I drop my head, shaking it quickly to dislodge the obstruction, and that's when something catches my eye on the slope beneath me. There is movement where there should be only snow and stone. I stare for a moment, sure that it's some kind of ocular malfunction or even a hallucination, but no, there is definitely someone following my trail. Remaining still, I wait for the person to get closer, one hand moving to rest on the gun strapped to my hip. "Jun!" I gasp as her unmistakable birdstyle comes into view. I growl in frustration. She shouldn't be here. I thought I'd made that clear to the whole team. As a cyborg, my body can handle the extreme conditions of the Himalayas. That's why Nambu Hakase assigned this mission to me. Even with the remarkable protection afforded by our birdstyles, the others don't stand a chance out here. And Jun is the most vulnerable of everyone with so much of her skin exposed to the elements.
"Jun!" I call to her as loudly as I dare. "Climb back down from here. This is no place for you," I growl. But she's grown more and more stubborn and defiant over the years and my words are no more than a waste of breath.
"You're part of the Science Ninja Team, Joe. You don't need to do this alone. I'm coming with you and you can't stop me."
I watch as she fumbles with a piton, trying to hammer it into the cliff with fingers made stiff and clumsy by the cold. Shaking my head, I make my way down to her, slip the supply of spikes from her grasp and begin pounding them into the rock with a strength she could never muster even under ideal conditions. For the next few hours we climb without stopping. I'll give her credit, I haven't been setting an easy pace and she's managed to keep up without complaint. We travel in near silence, the howling wind providing a soundtrack for our climb.
Eventually Jun's endurance reaches an end and she calls to me, tugging on the rope that connects us. "Joe, it's been hours. I need to rest. I brought a small explosive. We can use it to create a cave to shelter in for a while," she yells, pulling a grenade from her belt and reaching up to offer it to me. But the cold has numbed her fingers; she loses her grip and the bomb goes tumbling from her hand. It bounces along the cliff, detonating when it smacks into a ledge. The resulting explosion triggers an avalanche and I tighten my grip on the rock face as a blinding river of snow bears down on us. When it passes, I can still feel weight pulling down on the thick rope that binds Jun to me, so I know that she's still there. But she's lying limply, the line tied around her waist all that's keeping her from falling into the abyss. I don't see any blood from here, but I can't tell what her condition is otherwise.
There is a small precipice a few feet above me, so I scramble onto it, pulling her up behind me. She's unconscious, but breathing. "Jun!" I shout at her. "Wake up. Open your eyes! Jun!" I yell, shaking her by the shoulders. She blinks up at me groggily and I can feel her body trembling. Her skin has taken on a faint bluish tinge from overexposure to the cold, so I gather her in my arms, fold her into a near fetal position, and wrap my wings around her. I may no longer be human, may not be able to feel heat or cold myself, but I can at least provide insulation to keep her body heat from escaping.
I'm not sure how I'm going to complete my mission, but right now it's more important for me to keep her alive. I settle in, leaning back against the rough stone of the mountainside with her slender form cradled against my chest, and try to figure out my next move when a sound echoes through the howling winds. I concentrate on it, recognizing it as the sound of a hammer striking the stone of the cliffside. Could it be the rest of the team? Could they have possibly made it up the slope as well? I nudge Jun, urging her awake again, wanting to know if she can hear the rhythmic clanging as well, but she's incoherent, unable to do much more than stare at me with unfocused eyes.
Sighing, I pull her closer and wrap my wings tighter around us both. My own eyes start drifting closed as even my systems struggle with the extreme temperatures we're subjected to.
I must have lost consciousness, because the next thing I know, something is shaking me and I open my eyes to find Ken, Jinpei, and Ryu staring down at me. My reaction awakens Jun and she shifts, raising her face to mine. She smiles softly at me for a moment then ducks her head and burrows against my chest again. Reluctantly, she pulls away slightly and catches my gaze. "I'll never forget the warmth of your skin," she whispers to me and a frisson runs through my body, catching me off guard. "You're still a person, Joe, just like the rest of us," she continues, "You're still our friend."
Suddenly my vision blurs and swims, clearing abruptly when tears escape from my eyes to land on her gloved hand with a silent splash. Emotions swiftly overwhelm me and I need air, need space. Unable to face the others, I stand and force Jun from my arms into Ken's waiting ones. I can feel her reluctance to move, but I break her hold easily and make my way unsteadily to the cliff's edge, my back to the rest of the team. The tears continue welling up and I find myself powerless to stop them. Sinking to my knees, I tentatively run my hands along my face, marveling at the sight of the moisture that darkens the fabric of my gloves.
For the first time since I woke up in Doctor Raphael's lab, I feel something other than anger, feel a desire for something other than revenge. Even during my brief time with Cathy, I was more motivated by the destruction of Galactor than anything else. I wanted to spend time with her, wanted to get to know her better, regretted her sacrifice, but it was all about bringing an end to Sosai X and nothing more.
My heart, or whatever passes for my heart these days, is suddenly filled with love. I'm so distracted by this revelation, that I don't notice Jun's approach until her arms wind around me and her helmet presses against my shoulder blade.
"Jun," I croak out brokenly.
"I'm here, Joe," she whispers back, her voice muffled by the wind and my body. "I'll always be here," she finishes so quietly that even with my augmented hearing I can barely make out her words. She pulls back and I find myself missing the pressure of her body against mine. But I don't have long to consider what that means before her hands gently turn me to face her and I find myself wrapped in her embrace. Without thinking about the fact that the rest of the team is probably watching, I slip my arms around her and cling to her slender frame. Sobs wrack my body, surprising me with their intensity. She doesn't say a word, simply holds me close, her tender hands caressing my back soothingly until, finally, my tears are spent.
When I manage to lift my head again, she releases me and reaches up to wipe the moisture from my face before it has a chance to freeze. "Thank you," I murmur, my eyes never leaving hers. Jun smiles back, her cheeks sporting a rosy blush, but whether from the cold or her emotions, I can't tell. We stand slowly and join the others who have been waiting discreetly out of earshot. As we approach, they all appear to be very interested in the snowdrifts surrounding our shelter.
"Let's go home," I say quietly, "it seems that our job here is done."
The others merely nod and lead the way back to the line of pitons marking our trail. Slowly and carefully, we retrace our path, reaching the bottom in much less time than it took us to ascend to the top earlier. Jun stays near me as we file into the New God Phoenix, her fingers slipping into my hand as we cross the threshold. We're the last ones to board the ship and Ken watches as we enter, his eyes first flaring and then narrowing slightly when he catches sight of our clasped hands. His reaction only lasts a moment before he regains his composure, nodding to us as he closes the hatch.
The flight back to G-Town is quiet, even the normally boisterous Jinpei sits in silence. Everyone is exhausted from the strenuous nature of this mission and we are thankful to have Pima to get us back to base. Even I would find it a struggle to guide the ship all the way home right now.
We doze during the flight, barely aware of each other or our progress until we land. Once the ship settles in the cavernous hangar, we all rise and, still somewhat dazed, make our way out. Both Nambu Hakase and Pandora Hakase stand waiting for us and before we can react, they shuffle us off to the medical bays. Pandora Hakase separates me from the others, taking me to the lab that has been modified for my cybernetic requirements. I risk a quick glance at the rest of the team, watching as Ken reaches for Jun's hand. I think I'm just as surprised as he is when instead of grasping it, she wraps her wings more tightly around her slim shoulders.
I'm still pondering that image, replaying it over and over in my mind as I follow Pandora Hakase into the exam room. What could it mean? Jun has always been infatuated with Ken. And as unexpected as it was to see him make an advance towards her, it was even more shocking to see her rebuff it. I lift my own gloved hand, turning it this way and that, still feeling a memory of the pressure from her grip on it as we entered the ship.
"Joe… Joe!" Pandora Hakase's shrill tones break into my reverie and I blink. I'm sitting on the table in the exam room, my helmet lying beside me, but I have no memory of climbing up here or removing it. Hakase's eyes are narrowed as she contemplates me, no doubt trying to read my expression. "Something on your mind, Joe?"
"Huh? Oh, no, nothing important," I hedge, looking away from her.
Her gaze remains on me for another long moment, no doubt deciding whether she wants to press the issue. She lets out a small sigh, then, thankfully, she chooses to let it go. Moments later I've triggered the transformation sequence and swapped my birdstyle for my civilian uniform. For the next hour, I merely follow her directions as the exam progresses. She runs a full battery of scans and tests to ensure that my cybernetics have not been damaged during the mission. Finally declaring me to be functioning normally, Pandora Hakase dismisses me and I leave the exam room, anxious to reach the solitude of my quarters.
I'm grateful that I don't run into anyone in the hallways of G-Town as I make my way to the residential section of our underwater base. I slip into my room, locking the door behind me. My mind swirls with images of Jun from the snowy mountain top; snuggled against my chest, holding my hand on the way back to the New God Phoenix, embracing me as I struggle to control my emotions. As I sort through the memories, trying to make sense of them, trying to make sense of my reactions to them, I drop to my bed and stare unseeingly at the fish outside.
A knock at the door disrupts my musings and I'm surprised to find that I've been pacing. Shaking my head to clear it, I unlock the door and am startled to find Jun standing there wringing her hands nervously. I step aside, wordlessly allowing her entrance, and take my time closing the door behind her. When I finally decide that I've stalled as long as I can, I turn to find her studying the sea life on the other side of the large window beside my bed.
"Jun?" I ask uncertainly. Leaning back against the door, I pull a feather shuriken from my pocket and slip it between my teeth before crossing my arms over my chest. The familiar pose helps settle me, the chewing motion giving my anxiety an outlet as I wait for her response.
"I… I just wanted to say thank you," she says hesitantly without turning. "You saved my life today, Joe."
"You know I won't ever let anything happen to you, Jun."
She pivots on her heel slowly until she's facing me. "You risked the mission for my sake," she begins, her eyes searching mine. "Why? Why didn't you leave me behind?"
My jaw drops, the feather drifting to the floor. "I could never leave you behind," I answer quietly, surprising myself with the intensity of the words. "I would never be able to live with myself if I did." I look away, unable to face her scrutiny anymore. "I'd rather die again, than see you come to harm, Jun," I whisper quietly.
At her sharp intake of breath, my gaze is drawn back to her, and I'm surprised to find her standing mere inches away from me. Before I can react, she pushes up onto her toes, grabs my shoulders, and places a gentle kiss on my cheek. Suddenly, I feel like the whole side of my face has caught fire; a warmth I didn't think I could still feel spreading out of control and causing me to wonder if a cyborg can blush.
Jun pulls back, her own cheeks rosy. "Thanks again, Joe," she murmurs softly and then she's through the door and gone.
I stare at the closed panel, my hand lifting to my cheek as if trying to permanently trap her kiss on my skin. I don't know how long I stand there looking at the back of the door before I finally step backwards and land heavily on my bed.
My mind spins crazily as I try to understand what just happened and my reaction to it. Sure, I've always harbored feelings for Jun, but she's always made it clear that her interest was in Ken. And who could blame her? With his pretty boy looks and save the world attitude, Gatchaman can have his choice of women whenever he wants. But while he's never really encouraged her interest, he's never really discouraged her either. And knowing Ken as well as I do, that's as close as he comes to returning her feelings.
Not for the first time I wonder just what went on between them during my absence. What could have changed to make her pull away from him the way she did when we returned to base? I shake my head, this train of thought getting me nowhere. Besides, I'm a cyborg, it's not like I'm exactly the best partner for Jun to choose. There are so many things I can't possibly hope to give her, so many things I still don't understand about my mechanical body. I can't let this go on, no matter how much I would like to be with Jun, I know it would be unfair to her. I need to make sure she understands what a mistake it would be.
Determined to find her and set the record straight, I open the door and almost walk right into Ken. He's standing outside my quarters, one hand poised to knock and seems just as shocked as I am at our near collision. "Joe!" he exclaims softly, lowering his fist. "I was hoping to speak with you. Do you have a few minutes?"
"I was just on my way to find Jun. Can this wait?"
He bites his lower lip, a flurry of emotions flickering in his eyes. "This is about Jun. Please, Joe…"
I sigh, and spread my arm, indicating that he should proceed me into my quarters.
He pulls the chair from my desk and straddles it, resting his arms across its back. "Joe, do you have feelings for Jun?" he asks bluntly, his eyes wide and red rimmed.
"I…" Walking past him, I drop heavily to my bed as I gather my thoughts. I let out a deep breath and meet his gaze. "Maybe," I reply with a shrug, realizing it to be the most truthful answer I can give him. "Honestly?"
"That would be nice," there is a hint of Gatchaman's steel in his voice as he stares at me coolly.
"Yes and no."
He lifts one eyebrow, urging me to continue with my explanation.
"I've always been attracted to Jun, Ken. She's a beautiful woman, headstrong, smart, a hell of a fighter. But she's always been forbidden fruit, not that she ever had eyes for anyone but you anyway. So it's always been just a fantasy, nothing I ever gave any serious thought to."
"I see…" he says quietly. "And now?"
"Now doesn't matter, Ken. Nothing could happen no matter how I feel. I'm not human anymore," I answer, meeting his gaze evenly. "I'm a machine, brought back from the brink of death and given another chance to seek my revenge on Galactor for what they did to my family, what they did to so many families," I say with conviction, rising to my feet and pacing in the small space.
Ken frowns, searches the floor as he chews his lower lip thoughtfully. When he lifts his eyes to mine again, I can see pain and regret flashing in them, like storm clouds marring a perfect sky. "I saw the way she looked at you on the mountain, Joe. Saw how she held your hand as you boarded the New God Phoenix. It was the way she used to look at me, the way she used to reach for me. She offered me something special and I refused to accept it for so long," he grows quiet for a moment, clearly lost in memory. "It was your death that changed things, Joe. Once the war was over and we tried to settle into normal lives, I was finally ready to accept what she had to offer, but I'd waited too long. There was too much that I'd put between us, too much for her to forgive and get past. I'd pushed her away so many times that when I finally tried to pull her close, there was just too much in the way and she couldn't trust me to be sincere about it. And then when the ISO operatives started seeing Galactor activity again…" he ended with a resigned shrug. "Well, by then it was just easier to go back to the way things were and not try to find a way to erase that barrier I'd built."
I realize that I've stopped pacing when we're both silent for a few moments, Ken lost in his memories, and me at a loss for words as I stare at him. I've never been good in these situations and my death and rebirth haven't exactly softened me any. "I don't know what to say, Ken," I finally admit when the silence has grown uncomfortable.
"There's nothing to say, Joe. I made mistakes and I have to live with the consequences. I only have myself to blame for losing her. And that's why I'm here. To keep you from making the same mistakes I did."
"Ken…" I growl, not liking what he's implying.
"Joe, listen to me. Before you returned to us, Jun was looking for you in every shadow. She called for you each time you helped us, and it didn't matter how many times we all reminded her that you were dead, that there was no way it could be you, she still kept seeing your shadow everywhere." He lets out a short barking laugh. "Turns out she was right after all." Shaking his head gently, Ken lifts his eyes to the ceiling.
"I'm sorry, Ken. But after our history with Galactor cyborgs, I felt better staying in the shadows. I was afraid to let you see me, afraid you would figure out what I had become. It was better that you thought I was dead than realize what a monster I'd been turned into," I admit softly.
"That's behind us, Joe. No one cares what your body is made of. You're still you and we're happy to have you back with us." He bites his lip, chews it thoughtfully. "And Jun is probably the happiest of all of us. Just promise me you'll treat her well. Don't push her away like I did. If you have feelings for her at all, accept what she's offering. Trust me, you'll regret it if you miss your chance because you're too stubborn."
Before I can say another word, he stands and steals silently from the room leaving me alone with my thoughts. And he's definitely given be a lot to think about. Could he be right? Could I have a chance with Jun despite how much I've changed since that day at Cross Karakorum?
After spending the next half hour debating the situation with myself and not getting anywhere, I'm feeling restless, so I decide to spend some time in the gym. Maybe running a few laps on the track will help clear my mind. I'm so lost in my thoughts that I don't realize Jun's already there practicing on the uneven bars until it's too late for me to slip back out unnoticed.
Jun swings around the beam, then flips in midair, and lands neatly in front of me. "Joe!" She exclaims happily, throwing her arms around my neck and hugging me tightly. Without thinking, I return the embrace, pulling her as close as I can and breathing in her scent. I loosen my hold when I feel her start to pull away, but I can't help myself and before I realize what I'm doing, my lips brush against hers. The kiss is soft, tender, just lips pressed to lips, yet somehow it seems to convey more passion than any of the deepest kisses I've ever had. I'm about to break the contact when her hand twines into my hair, twirling the strands around her slender fingers. Taking that as a cue, I gently part her lips with my own, my tongue probing lightly as the kiss intensifies. And then I lose the ability to think at all. My whole existence is contained in our embrace and I never want it to stop.
But, like all things, this too must end. We're both breathing heavily as we stand staring at each other shyly. A delicate pink colors her cheeks and even though I don't feel temperatures like I once did, I think I can feel the heat of a flush rising up my neck. Her eyes dance across my face and the feeling just intensifies under her gaze. I open my mouth to say something, but nothing comes to me and I shut it with an apologetic smile. It's enough to break the moment, causing her to laugh, a high twinkling sound that makes my heart flutter and soar. I feel like I could fly without the wings of my birdstyle.
"Jun…" I begin, hoping words will come to me.
She smiles at my discomfiture, amusement in her eyes. "It's OK, Joe. You don't need to say anything," she lowers her gaze and I watch the amusement fade to something else as she bites her lip gently. The image is enough to make my legs go weak. "I… I need to go now," she mumbles before brushing past me and fleeing from the room.
I turn and watch the door close behind her, finding myself even more conflicted than I was before. This was the last thing I was expecting when I came back to the team. I only wanted to keep them safe, to put myself between them and harm. My death was enough, they didn't need to lose anyone else. I would never have guessed that not only would they welcome me back, even after learning my secret, but that Jun would offer me this fleeting bit of romance.
My head still whirling from my unexpected kiss with Jun, I decide to run a few laps on the track and see if I can get my thoughts into any semblance of order. But the room seems to echo with Ken's words. "I made mistakes and I have to live with the consequences. I only have myself to blame for losing her. And that's why I'm here. To keep you from making the same mistakes I did." My footfalls pound as if providing emphasis to his plea. "Just promise me you'll treat her well. Don't push her away like I did. If you have feelings for her at all, accept what she's offering."
I keep running, no longer sure if I'm trying to run toward Ken's advice or if I'm fleeing from it. His words just continue to ring in my head, repeating themselves in a continual loop. And while I recognize the sense in what he said, I just can't help thinking about the fact that I'm not who I was before, that Jun deserves more, that I'm not worthy of her. But then I remember our kiss and the feelings it evoked in me, feelings that I thought died with my body outside a Galactor base.
Her lips were soft and pliant, her body warm and yielding against mine. I marvel about how, in that moment, I didn't care about what I couldn't offer her. I'm consumed with thoughts about that kiss and how desperately I want another. I didn't come here planning to kiss her. I'd intended to let her down easy, to let her know that she deserves more than I can give her. But now… I reach up, touching my fingertips to my lips as if trying to find proof that it really happened. I know it did, yet how could it have? How could she want me, knowing what I am now?
I wasn't reborn to find love, I was brought back to defeat Galactor once and for all. But now I find myself faced with the possibility of love and suddenly I'm just as obsessed with Jun as I am with revenge, possibly more so. Before when I closed my eyes, I would picture myself tearing Berg Katse or Gel Sadra limb from limb. Now, I see Jun standing before me instead. She's leaning forward on her toes, her body stretching toward mine, her eyes closed and lips parted slightly. And in that moment, it all becomes clear. I want to be with Jun. I may not have returned to the team looking for love, but it seems to have found me and the more reasons I give myself for why it's a bad idea, why a relationship wouldn't work, the more they ring hollow in my head.
Before I realize what I'm doing, I find myself jogging through the hallways of G-Town. Within seconds, I'm standing in front of Jun's door, staring at the solid panel and wondering what I'm doing here. But before I can completely lose my nerve, I knock hesitantly as if not quite sure that I want her to answer. Then the door opens and my doubts fade. Jun stands before me, obviously freshly showered, dressed in a pair of soft pink pajamas, her hair still damp where it brushes her shoulders and my mouth goes dry.
"Joe!" she exclaims, obviously not expecting to see me again tonight. "What are you doing here?"
"I needed to see you, Jun" I manage to croak out. "I mean, well, I just, I thought we should talk about… you know…" I finish lamely, spreading my hands before me helplessly and feeling more awkward and unsure than I've ever felt about anything in my life.
She chuckles softly at my predicament, but her gentle smile and relaxed posture take any sting out of her reaction. Her eyes are twinkling as she invites me in with a slight tilt of her head. I slip past her and into her quarters. Looking around, I'm amazed at just how much difference décor makes to the feel of a room. While I tend to keep to the essentials in my living space; bed, desk, and not much else, her quarters are warm and homey. Where my walls are bare, simply cold grey surfaces that define the space and provide structural integrity, hers are covered with photos. There are pictures of the team at various points in our training, some posed, some so candid that the subjects couldn't have known they were being photographed. Others feature friends and colleagues that I haven't seen or thought of in years.
Her bed is covered with so many pillows that it looks more like something you'd get absorbed into than something you'd sleep on. The desk is cluttered, but not disorganized, the books, papers, and other assorted items all sit neatly arranged waiting for her attention. These quarters feel lived in, there is an energy to them my own sorely lacks. And that's when the doubt creeps back in. How could someone so vibrant, so full of life, want to be with me?
I'm pulled from my thoughts at the sound of Jun clearing her throat. At some point she's taken a seat on her bed, pillows surrounding her as if she's floating on a cloud.
"I thought you wanted to talk, Joe. Or did you just stop by for decorating tips?" she asks with a smile and an upturned eyebrow, no doubt having noticed my perusal of the room.
I let out a soft chuckle, more grunt than laughter, and pull the chair from her desk. I sit, then stand, then turn the chair and straddle it, unconsciously mimicking Ken's posture when he confronted me earlier. "I did, I mean I do, want to talk I mean. Though I'm starting to realize that decorating tips might not be misplaced either." I shake my head, finding this feeling of anxiety and awkwardness so alien to me.
"Jun, first, I wanted you to know that I didn't go to the gym planning to kiss you before. I didn't even know you were in there. I thought it would be empty, that I'd be able to clear my head and think. But then I walked in and suddenly you had your arms around me and…" I close my eyes, lower my head, internally begging my voice not to fail me. "Well, I don't know what came over me and I'm sorry."
"Sorry? So you think it was a mistake? I guess I should have known," she mutters, her voice tight with anger and resignation. "I've got a knack for picking guys with no emotional availability at all. First Ken, and now you." She practically leaps from the bed, her feet pounding despite the plush pile of the rug.
"I thought you'd be relieved. You have to know I'd be a terrible match for you. I'm a cyborg, Jun, not a man. I can't offer you all the things a man could, all the things you deserve. Jun, I'm a machine. You deserve better," I finish quietly, confused because my admission hasn't brought me any relief at all.
"Joe," she whispers and I turn to face her, surprised to see tear tracks on her cheeks. "Joe, don't you understand? It doesn't matter what you're made of here," she sniffles, touching my arm. "It matters what you're made of in here," she says, covering my chest with her hand. "It matters who you are in here," she repeats, prodding the spot where my heart should be, "and here," she continues, tapping my temple lightly.
"But, Jun, I'm artificial, none of this is real."
"Of course it is. I can touch you and we can both feel it. You're just as real as I am. This is no different than someone with an artificial limb. Your injuries just took more work to repair, that's all."
"What about children? What if you want children? I can't promise that I could give them to you."
"Joe, no one can promise that. If we end up at the point where we want children," she lifts her eyebrow and pauses until I nod my acknowledgement of her emphasis, "we can always adopt. You and I both know that there are plenty of orphans who need homes and who better to understand the special needs of orphans than other orphans? Besides, have you even looked into whether you are still capable of fathering a child?"
I gulp and shake my head realizing that the thought had never even occurred to me. Could she be right? Could I still be able to father a child? Suddenly questions that I'd never thought of or given any importance to take on a new significance. I chuckle softly as the absurdity of today hits me. This morning I was worried about scaling an impossible mountainside and destroying a base, this afternoon I'm thinking about fathering children and I'm not sure which strikes me as more ridiculous.
Feeling her eyes on me, I look up at Jun and smirk at her expression. Her brow is furrowed, her lips drawn into a pout and frankly, it's one of the most endearing things I've ever seen. And that's when it hits me. I'm in love with Jun. I really do love her. This feeling is like nothing I've ever felt before. It's not the mix of friendship and family that develops between people who work together and depend on each other the way we always have. This is so much more than that. It's total and relentless and consuming. Suddenly I can't imagine my life without Jun in it. I can't picture anything except grabbing her in my arms and kissing her until I can't breathe anymore.
"Joe… Jo-oe… JOE!"
I jump at the sound of Jun's shout and look at her sheepishly. "Sorry," I offer apologetically. "I seem to have a lot on my mind lately."
"Like what?" she asks, concerned.
I search her face for a moment before answering, "Well, to be honest, I've been doing a lot of thinking about you. About how much better you can do than a cyborg. About how I shouldn't even be thinking about romantic entanglements. About how I can't seem to picture my life without you in it anymore. But right now, mostly about how much I want to kiss you again," I finish as I stand and cross the small distance between us to take her in my arms.
She smiles, sliding her hands up my chest and into my hair, pulling me forward until our lips meet. And that's when I understand that it doesn't matter that I'm a cyborg. It doesn't matter if this relationship is doomed or not. Suddenly I realize that Ken's advice was right. I need to give this a chance and see where it goes or I'll regret it for the rest of my life. So, I let everything I'm feeling flow though my kiss. When it ends, Jun and I just stand staring into each other's eyes for a minute. "I love you, Jun," I whisper impulsively into the silence.
"I love you, too, Joe," she replies, then she gently kisses me again. I surrender to her, my doubts silenced along with my ability to think. I don't know what tomorrow holds, but I know it doesn't matter as long as she's by my side.