A/N: This is just a present for a friend, but I might turn this into a series of drabbles and oneshots containing my various RP OCs if I feel like doing that much writing. The Girin and Tokama in this fic are based off of their RP versions, not the versions used in other fics.

Chapter 1: The man behind the mask.

Fandom: Naruto

Genre: Romance

Pairing: Girin/Haruka

Stupid… Weak… Useless…

I reached for a cigarette quietly, the walls of the hospital around me a sickening white… I hated hospitals. They reeked of death… Sickness and death. On the outer wall of my white, sterile, far too clean prison was a window. And through that window lay Barashi… The village hidden in the brush. A lot of people believed brush referred to foliage, but really it referred to a paint brush. Barashi-nin specialized in artful techniques. Drawings, music, statues…. That's what one could expect to find in Barashi.

Even now I could hear some of that music that filled the air around Barashi… And I could recognize the sound of it instantly. I stood, ignoring the bandages around my chest and arm as I looked down at the grounds around the hospital.

From where I stood, I could see a woman with fiery red hair surrounded by a class of children… So she was teaching class outside today? Did she think it was a beautiful day, or was she doing it because she knew I was in the hospital again?

But I was kidding myself… Haruka never looked at me that way. She hated me… She thought I was a monster… I wished I could talk to her, tell her how I feel, but she probably already knew. Everyone in the village knew, they teased me about it daily. So how could she not know? I took a deep drag of my cigarette, forcing my window open and climbing out to sit on the ledge.

I would never be able to tell her how I feel… But I could at least enjoy her music. Her soft sweet music that never failed to bring a smile to my face…

I did everything I could to make her happy, so she would always play her beautiful music, though I knew she didn't play it for me. I was never good enough to make her happy…

But I was good enough to listen to her music.

I sat on the windowsill, listening to the music drifting up from above… Haruka-chan was my beautiful songbird, but I was always just a chameleon. I blended into the surroundings of her life… The only impact I made was to piss her off, but it was the only way to make her happy.

Such was my curse, to love her but never to be loved by her.

And so I sit on my windowsill and listen… And from her music I drew a certain sense of… contention. Not happiness, for I was never happy, but I would be content to listen to her music forever.

The music stopped as a man approached, with shaggy blond hair and amber eyes. He was tall, far taller than Haruka, and he wrapped her in a hug, kissing her as the children made 'yuck' faces. He expected a warm welcome… He always expected a warm welcome. Instead Haruka punched him, and took the cigarette from his mouth, grinding it in her heel. She hated it when Girin smoke…

I wished I could be the one down there, because even though he was beaten daily for smoking, at least Haruka loved him. And he loved her…

Regardless of how stupid and useless he was, she loved him. I was twice the man he was! My cousin groveled at my feet at every sparring session! But she loved him, and that was the way things had to be…

Girin picked himself up from the dirt, smiling sheepishly as Haruka pulled him down to kiss him again. She placed his hand on her swollen stomach, and he smiled, kissing that as well. I could see, even from this distance, that Girin made her happy…

This would be their third child, and Girin still wanted another after. He was going to keep trying until they had a girl he'd said… A girl as beautiful as she.

I could tell Girin had just come back from training.. His shirt was slung over his shoulder, and sweat glistened on his body. I could see the scar on his chest from where I'd blasted him in one of our sparring sessions..

And that was why Haruka hated me. Because I hurt Girin… She would never understand that it was the only way to make Girin strong.. The only way to make him the man he needed to be. I did it to protect Girin, not to kill him..

But Haruka couldn't see that. All she saw was me wailing on her husband. The one who made her happy… And in the end, that was enough for me to hide my feelings for Haruka.

I loved her, and I wanted her to be happy… So I hid my feelings for Haruka behind a wall of anger. Behind a wall of pain. And of course, behind my ever present ANBU mask. I picked it up from the nightstand beside my hospital bed, placing it over my face, before jumping down to them.

I landed beside Girin, the man turning to smile at me as he nodded his head. "Tokama-sensei! It's nice to see you up! Are you going to be healthy enough to spar tomorrow." I nodded quietly, my mask hiding the anger I felt towards the one who held Haruka's heart…

I stretched loudly as a med-nin called out to me through the window, my hand dropping to eat clay from my pouch. "Of course Girin, I'm always ready to kick your ass…" I could feel anger oozing off of Haruka at my words, and it broke my heart… But it was necessary. I never hurt Girin too badly, and my beatings made him stronger… Besides, he'd already told me Haruka thought his scars were sexy. She should be grateful… But instead she hated me.

Haruka moved to punch me, but I dodged my head to the side. She was fast, but not fast enough. I was one of the four gate guards. We were the elites… On an entirely different level from the rest of these people. "Easy there bitch, wouldn't want you to break a nail. Besides, you're getting kinda top heavy there fatty, wouldn't want you tipping over."

Girin scowled at me, wrapping his arm around Haruka as he led her away… I'd pissed her off, because that was my job in this triangle. I pissed her off, I upset her, and Girin was always there to cheer her up again.. And it made her love him more. As much as I loved Haruka, I wanted her to be happy, and Girin was better at that than I would ever be. So I pushed her away, and in to the arms of my cousin…

I watched Girin lead her away, her students follow, and I watched her lithe, beautiful form walk away from me…. Even pregnant, she was beautiful. But it didn't matter, for she'd always hate me… She'd hated me before she met me, because I hurt Girin, and she'd never forgive that.

And so I turned away, and turned the sorrow and broken heartedness I felt into anger. And I used that anger… When the village was in danger, when someone tried to break into the northern gate, I used that anger to demolish them. Because in the end, it wasn't Girin that protected her… It was me. When someone tried to invade us, it was my mask that she looked for to protect her. It was my mask that she saw killing those who might harm her and her children. And it was also my mask that she saw hurting Girin..

But behind the mask, I was a nice guy. I loved my cousin, I had been looking after him since he was born.. Behind the mask, I would do anything to make her happy, even if that meant making her hate me. Behind the mask, I was just me… But she never saw that. She only saw the mask… And she never saw me, because I was the man behind the mask. The man she couldn't see.