Chapter One: Leigh and Taylor
I'm glad I'm different but I hate myself for it. I wish I was dead. I wish I could melt away with the cold drizzling rain and not exist anymore. I want all of these quivering thoughts to dissipate into the starry universe, these pathetic and dribbling emotions to wash away. All I ever wanted was to be near the people I love, but I guess that's too much to ask.
Leigh sped hurriedly through the crowd, toward the the gray brick building, smaller portibles that sprawled across dirt square like ruins from an ancient citadel. She kept her gaze riveted to the sidewalk which was beginning to be littered with tiny specks of rain, her long dark hair falling in front of her face. Her pace quickened as she passed a group of teenage girls, shrieking girlishly as they ran, some holding their designer books bags over their hair. Leigh felt pretty talented at blending in as her oversized sweatshirt and jeans matched the gray-blue buldings, the silver-slick road, stone-cold sky. Lightning flashed and Leigh felt the first shivers of anticipation and anxiety quaking through her veins. Beautiful.she thought as her entranced eyes encompassed the dramatic sky. The darkness before the storm.
Leigh knew she would never be able to purge the darkness fully, not as long as she still had the power to transform dormant within her. She supposed she needed it; her ability to romanticise pain, suffering.to find beauty in sadness and darkness.how else could she keep her sanity when her power needed to be revived? It contrasted so much with her surface personality that the powers of Saturn and destruction had seemed like another being, frozen and crystallised inside her, like icy amethysts, cutting her on the inside. awoken when she needed to be. Over time, Leigh had kind of found a way to incorporate Saturn's personality with hers. After all, Saturn was herself..right? Leigh unrolled her sleeve and stared at the jagged scars that crisscossed the pale skin of her arm. She traced them thoughtfully, a the faint memory of the pain and shattered hopes still clinging wispily to her thoughts.
Another peal of thunder sounded and she hurried to school, hoping she could stay invisible, bundled in her own shyness and daydreams, for at least another day.
Leigh sighed and closed her eyes as if feeling a migraine coming on. She was in the middle of such a nice daydream while the teacher was discussing essay mechanics or transitions or something like that. She was so wrapped in her beauitful isolation and daydreams and now she had to work in a group. Leigh hated groups. They.had people in them and stuff. She hid her notes with the kaleidoscopic web of flowers and ying yang planets doodled all over it, and shuffled her desk over to her assigned group.
A bored looking blonde girl twirled her hair and looked at Leigh hopefully. "Ok, you're smart, right? What are we supposed to do again?"
Leigh rolled her eyes. Of course, being quiet always equated 'smart.' "
"Um.we're supposed to sit here, and act like we're working until the bell rings, okay?" she flashed a cold grin, then opened her binder in an effort to ignore her.
The girl shot her a disgusted look than leaned over and made a remark to her friend, and they both giggled.
I am not here, I am not here, I am not here.was Leigh's silent mantra that afternoon. However, she still idly listened to the two girls prattle on about the lastest Jetman rumor. "Omigod, did you hear he saved another kid by the football field this morning?" "Oh yeah, oh yeah, I saw it! And Brandon's such an asshole, I was glad to see him get it. Jetman just swooped in rescued that little nerd what's-his- face. He started like, flitting around Brandon with that jet-pack thingy, dodging his punches and stuff, and then threw him the dupster!" "Cool! Do you think Jetman's hot?" "Sizzling.I can just tell." Leigh closed her eyes and tried to maintain her annoyance. If she had to hear about that popularity-leech Jetman one more time she was going to go insane.yes.insane, right in the middle of class. She'd start throwing notebook paper and scan-trons and shoving no.2 pencils into people's skulls. She'd only caught a glimpse of him.once.a trail of smoke that soared triumphantly into the candy-blue sky, following the image of a sleek teenage boy with a red helmet and visor covering half of his face, a white aviator scarf fluttering in the wind. And of course, the clusters of popular kids cheering, the girls screaming and giggling. The image stayed with her, caught and snagged in her mind, for some reason. She felt disgusted by it but also a little sad. No one did anything for entirely pure reasons, she knew that. She had learned that. No one would be friendly to her or even so much as smile at her without some motive of their own. Even deep inside herself, she knew she was only Saturn because she had to be, because the stars had cursed her with the essence of destruction and rebirth. She would always be alone, and she could feel it, the cold metal rattling hollow in her bones. She drew her arms up around her. She wanted to ask these girls if they'd still like him and think he was hot if his true idenity were revealed. And if he was such a hero and his intentions were pure, why he had to hide his identity.Would he still rescue these kids if the popular kids weren't so eager to latch on to whatever was exciting and new and thrilling? Leigh guessed not. She glanced at the clock, and wondered how long she could pretend to be working in the group. Maybe once in a while she'd pretend to write something down in her notebook and look attentive. Yeah. That's what she'd do. However, Taylor was in her group. A dark-haired boy with a slight frame was leaned over his desk, biting his lip in concentration while he transformed his own notes into a superhero comic. Hardly realising it, Leigh's mind began to wander again, watching the play of lights on his dark hair as it caught the gold colors woven into it.
"Well." Taylor resolutely shut his binder and looked at Leigh. "I guess we should start bullshitting through this thing already, right?" He gave her a hesitant half-smile.
"I guess so." Leigh tried to smile back, but inside she glanced down at the floor.
"Uh.let's see." he hummed a little as he flipped through his notes, "let's see.where are my english crap notes.english crap notes." he sang softly. Leigh smiled a little behind her curtain of hair. She hardly knew him, or spoke to him, but despite her intense hatred of high school guys, she kind of liked Taylor. He was cute, in a nonconventional way. Something about his slight child-like ways that dusted over his boredom and cynicism in class. Or the way his slender wrist flickered in class as he drew, or his shy mannerisms. It kind of made her want to pet him.like a cat, maybe. Leigh giggled to herself. She liked cats. She always wanted a boyfriend who would cuddle with her, nuzzle her hand, curl up around her. A cat boyfriend.
She was jarred out of her thoughts as the teacher's spindly arm was suddenly in Taylor's notes and pulling out the page covered with comic book art. "Well, since you weren't doing your work Mr. Sibley," she commented snidely, "I think the rest of the class might like to see what you've been doing instead."
Taylor's head snapped up, a wide-eyed look of terror stricken in his eyes. "um.I was just." he muttered, but Mrs. Harris was already in front of the class with a look of smug satisfaction, and was reading aloud every line of Taylor's comic. Some of the students giggled hesitantly as Mrs. Harris overdramatised the dialogue. Taylor seemed to slink further into his huge overcoat, his eyes riveted to the floor.
But for once, Leigh's attention was directed elsewhere besides the floor, her desk, or the flickering light fixtures on the ceiling. Even underneath the thick amounts of sarcasm that Mrs. Harris was pouring over Taylor's dialogue, something pure and simple shone through. Something bright and old-fashioned and courageous. In the words was the ardent and persistent belief that honor and true heroism still existed. In Leigh's heart, in gently touched the hidden diamonds of belief that these things were true, buried underneath the darkness of reality, making them sparkle again. She could feel it inside of her, hear it in the words, see it in his eyes. Shielded with humiliation and those long lashes, she thought that maybe she could see it, the depth of inheritent goodness in his eyes. You're not here.she mentally called to him sympathetically.
Finally she finished and class was over, Taylor scurried out of his seat and raced to the door. Leigh froze her shyness and fear for one moment and caught up to him. "I am such a retard." he muttered to her when he saw her.
She leaned in quickly. "I thought it was amazing." She lighted a conspiratorial smile, then scampered away, wishing she could drown in that wave of released nervousness and euphoria, and stay in that feeling forever.
Chapter Two: Sailor Saturn and Jetman
I'm glad I'm different but I hate myself for it. I wish I was dead. I wish I could melt away with the cold drizzling rain and not exist anymore. I want all of these quivering thoughts to dissipate into the starry universe, these pathetic and dribbling emotions to wash away. All I ever wanted was to be near the people I love, but I guess that's too much to ask.
Leigh sped hurriedly through the crowd, toward the the gray brick building, smaller portibles that sprawled across dirt square like ruins from an ancient citadel. She kept her gaze riveted to the sidewalk which was beginning to be littered with tiny specks of rain, her long dark hair falling in front of her face. Her pace quickened as she passed a group of teenage girls, shrieking girlishly as they ran, some holding their designer books bags over their hair. Leigh felt pretty talented at blending in as her oversized sweatshirt and jeans matched the gray-blue buldings, the silver-slick road, stone-cold sky. Lightning flashed and Leigh felt the first shivers of anticipation and anxiety quaking through her veins. Beautiful.she thought as her entranced eyes encompassed the dramatic sky. The darkness before the storm.
Leigh knew she would never be able to purge the darkness fully, not as long as she still had the power to transform dormant within her. She supposed she needed it; her ability to romanticise pain, suffering.to find beauty in sadness and darkness.how else could she keep her sanity when her power needed to be revived? It contrasted so much with her surface personality that the powers of Saturn and destruction had seemed like another being, frozen and crystallised inside her, like icy amethysts, cutting her on the inside. awoken when she needed to be. Over time, Leigh had kind of found a way to incorporate Saturn's personality with hers. After all, Saturn was herself..right? Leigh unrolled her sleeve and stared at the jagged scars that crisscossed the pale skin of her arm. She traced them thoughtfully, a the faint memory of the pain and shattered hopes still clinging wispily to her thoughts.
Another peal of thunder sounded and she hurried to school, hoping she could stay invisible, bundled in her own shyness and daydreams, for at least another day.
Leigh sighed and closed her eyes as if feeling a migraine coming on. She was in the middle of such a nice daydream while the teacher was discussing essay mechanics or transitions or something like that. She was so wrapped in her beauitful isolation and daydreams and now she had to work in a group. Leigh hated groups. They.had people in them and stuff. She hid her notes with the kaleidoscopic web of flowers and ying yang planets doodled all over it, and shuffled her desk over to her assigned group.
A bored looking blonde girl twirled her hair and looked at Leigh hopefully. "Ok, you're smart, right? What are we supposed to do again?"
Leigh rolled her eyes. Of course, being quiet always equated 'smart.' "
"Um.we're supposed to sit here, and act like we're working until the bell rings, okay?" she flashed a cold grin, then opened her binder in an effort to ignore her.
The girl shot her a disgusted look than leaned over and made a remark to her friend, and they both giggled.
I am not here, I am not here, I am not here.was Leigh's silent mantra that afternoon. However, she still idly listened to the two girls prattle on about the lastest Jetman rumor. "Omigod, did you hear he saved another kid by the football field this morning?" "Oh yeah, oh yeah, I saw it! And Brandon's such an asshole, I was glad to see him get it. Jetman just swooped in rescued that little nerd what's-his- face. He started like, flitting around Brandon with that jet-pack thingy, dodging his punches and stuff, and then threw him the dupster!" "Cool! Do you think Jetman's hot?" "Sizzling.I can just tell." Leigh closed her eyes and tried to maintain her annoyance. If she had to hear about that popularity-leech Jetman one more time she was going to go insane.yes.insane, right in the middle of class. She'd start throwing notebook paper and scan-trons and shoving no.2 pencils into people's skulls. She'd only caught a glimpse of him.once.a trail of smoke that soared triumphantly into the candy-blue sky, following the image of a sleek teenage boy with a red helmet and visor covering half of his face, a white aviator scarf fluttering in the wind. And of course, the clusters of popular kids cheering, the girls screaming and giggling. The image stayed with her, caught and snagged in her mind, for some reason. She felt disgusted by it but also a little sad. No one did anything for entirely pure reasons, she knew that. She had learned that. No one would be friendly to her or even so much as smile at her without some motive of their own. Even deep inside herself, she knew she was only Saturn because she had to be, because the stars had cursed her with the essence of destruction and rebirth. She would always be alone, and she could feel it, the cold metal rattling hollow in her bones. She drew her arms up around her. She wanted to ask these girls if they'd still like him and think he was hot if his true idenity were revealed. And if he was such a hero and his intentions were pure, why he had to hide his identity.Would he still rescue these kids if the popular kids weren't so eager to latch on to whatever was exciting and new and thrilling? Leigh guessed not. She glanced at the clock, and wondered how long she could pretend to be working in the group. Maybe once in a while she'd pretend to write something down in her notebook and look attentive. Yeah. That's what she'd do. However, Taylor was in her group. A dark-haired boy with a slight frame was leaned over his desk, biting his lip in concentration while he transformed his own notes into a superhero comic. Hardly realising it, Leigh's mind began to wander again, watching the play of lights on his dark hair as it caught the gold colors woven into it.
"Well." Taylor resolutely shut his binder and looked at Leigh. "I guess we should start bullshitting through this thing already, right?" He gave her a hesitant half-smile.
"I guess so." Leigh tried to smile back, but inside she glanced down at the floor.
"Uh.let's see." he hummed a little as he flipped through his notes, "let's see.where are my english crap notes.english crap notes." he sang softly. Leigh smiled a little behind her curtain of hair. She hardly knew him, or spoke to him, but despite her intense hatred of high school guys, she kind of liked Taylor. He was cute, in a nonconventional way. Something about his slight child-like ways that dusted over his boredom and cynicism in class. Or the way his slender wrist flickered in class as he drew, or his shy mannerisms. It kind of made her want to pet him.like a cat, maybe. Leigh giggled to herself. She liked cats. She always wanted a boyfriend who would cuddle with her, nuzzle her hand, curl up around her. A cat boyfriend.
She was jarred out of her thoughts as the teacher's spindly arm was suddenly in Taylor's notes and pulling out the page covered with comic book art. "Well, since you weren't doing your work Mr. Sibley," she commented snidely, "I think the rest of the class might like to see what you've been doing instead."
Taylor's head snapped up, a wide-eyed look of terror stricken in his eyes. "um.I was just." he muttered, but Mrs. Harris was already in front of the class with a look of smug satisfaction, and was reading aloud every line of Taylor's comic. Some of the students giggled hesitantly as Mrs. Harris overdramatised the dialogue. Taylor seemed to slink further into his huge overcoat, his eyes riveted to the floor.
But for once, Leigh's attention was directed elsewhere besides the floor, her desk, or the flickering light fixtures on the ceiling. Even underneath the thick amounts of sarcasm that Mrs. Harris was pouring over Taylor's dialogue, something pure and simple shone through. Something bright and old-fashioned and courageous. In the words was the ardent and persistent belief that honor and true heroism still existed. In Leigh's heart, in gently touched the hidden diamonds of belief that these things were true, buried underneath the darkness of reality, making them sparkle again. She could feel it inside of her, hear it in the words, see it in his eyes. Shielded with humiliation and those long lashes, she thought that maybe she could see it, the depth of inheritent goodness in his eyes. You're not here.she mentally called to him sympathetically.
Finally she finished and class was over, Taylor scurried out of his seat and raced to the door. Leigh froze her shyness and fear for one moment and caught up to him. "I am such a retard." he muttered to her when he saw her.
She leaned in quickly. "I thought it was amazing." She lighted a conspiratorial smile, then scampered away, wishing she could drown in that wave of released nervousness and euphoria, and stay in that feeling forever.
Chapter Two: Sailor Saturn and Jetman